March 2004 archive

(66 entries)

March 31, 2004

'Hello my name is Steve I used to be addicted to crack but now I am clean and selling magazines'

Just kidding. My name is srah, and clearly I have not kicked any such habit, as I have committed myself to a life of weekly suicide, to be committed every Monday night.

I need to take a class outside of SI, but the Business School are stingy and won't let me register for their marketing class without an override, which I won't be able to get until classes begin. So for now, I've registered for four SI classes, with the intention of dropping one (which that will be, we shall never know). Here's the damage:

srah | 10:45 PM | TrackBack
Tags: school of information

Have you ever been to the sixteenth century?!

As you may know, I always have my finger on the latest trends. I am always "hip" to what the "dudes" are saying these days. Having a teenager in the house, you see, I am able to keep up with the youngsters and their newfangled slang. And so, without further ado, I bring you the latest phrase that Señorita C has picked up at school:

What's cookin', good lookin'? Nuffin', muffin!

Yeah, I don't get it either. I don't know who she's hanging out with at that high school of hers or what century they are originally from. But apparently it's very "tight" and the "cat's pyjamas" and "23 skidoo" among the younger set.

I'm just warning you, if "bodacious" or "cowabunga" make a comeback in this house, drastic measures may have to be taken.

srah | 9:59 PM | TrackBack
Tags:

March 30, 2004

Astrology finds: I am a dork

Yahoo! Astrology, in addition to offering things like daily horoscopes and star sign compatibility, also thinks that it can predict people's preferences based on their star sign. Let's see what they have to say about me:

Books The quick-minded and detail-intensive Virgo likes to cut straight to the point. When it comes to books, it had better be of the no-nonsense, educational, factual or instructional variety. You actually find the encyclopedia exciting and read self-help and fitness books for fun.

Yahoo! Astrology thinks I'm a nerd. :'( While I did read the dictionary for fun in elementary school, I've actually never been much of one for non-fiction. Reading is for fun.

Movies The ever-practical Virgo does not have time to watch anything that won't improve their lives in some way. You'll cook a dinner to Julia Child, use fix-it videos to refurbish your room and watch documentaries to wind down. You might also enjoy the neurotic works of Woody Allen for a chuckle.

Yahoo! Astrology still thinks I'm a nerd. :'( Woody Allen? What am I, French? You have missed the mark on my motivations for movieing and booking, Yahoo!. Learning is for school, where you can compete with other people and show off.

Television Staid Virgo likes watching nature programs that are at once interesting and informative. Episodes of This Old House are also high on their list, as is the viewing of commercials advertising all the wonderful new cleaning implements on the market.

Nerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd. And yet, it's hit the nail straight on the head with the commercials thing. Alfie and I strictly enforce the family rule that you are not allowed to continue channel-surfing if one of those "The Best Love Songs of 1967 - on 6 CDs or 6 cassettes!!!1" infomercials is on TV. We will watch the same infomercial over and over again without fail.

Chocolate Thoroughly washes the chocolates, then rations them to all involved.

I find it interesting that there's a whole section for chocolate, especially since there's also a food section. WHO WASHES CHOCOLATE? I'm sure they're trying to make a point about Virgos being uptight perfectionists and all, but WHO WASHES CHOCOLATE?

Music Virgo doesn't have too much of a musical preference, as long as the music doesn't distract them from the task at hand. You might enjoy Ernesto Cortazar for his soft sounds. When lyrics are important, enjoy the soothing souls of Barry Manilow, Neil Diamond and Barbra Streisand. The younger set perhaps prefers the Ambient shape of Mystical Sun.

Ha ha! What kind of nerd would listen to Neil Di-- Hey, that's me! I must be some kind of old fogey, though, because I haven't the foggiest idea who Mystical Sun are.

Food Stable Virgo likes mint, parsley, vanilla and herbs in general. They will want a meal that is served or created in an orderly fashion and is not missing any key parts. They will have good taste when it comes to either making or consuming a meal.

Orderly, complete and... tidy, if you please. Food is important to me. Food is an experience to be lived and savoured! Not sure about the parsley, though. There really isn't too much to it.

Sports The versatile and efficient Virgo will gravitate toward sports that provide mental stimulation and fitness, all at once. Sports like basketball, gymnastics or hang gliding fit the bill.

Hang gliding? Um, there's no ground underneath that. No thank you. Basketball provides mental stimulation? I'm up for walking and - if we're going to be very adventurous - rock-climbing. On walls in a gym. With mats underneath.

srah | 10:14 PM | TrackBack
Tags: srah

Scribbled as I tried to fall back asleep

Dear Sun,

Kindly stop rising at ungodly hours like 6am.

Th'art very wakefulsome and I art very sleepfulsome.

SRAH

srah | 6:25 AM | TrackBack
Tags: weather

Two more hours, please!

Dear srah,
What are you doing up at this ungodly hour?
- A Concerned Imaginary Reader
Dear Reader,
Not sleeping, that's for sure!
SRAH

I don't know how long I've been at that point, but I woke myself up from a point between asleep and awake where I had been editing my Java program in a semi-conscious state of my imagination. I feel like I was in that state all night, tossing and turning over undeclared variables. I is not feeling mightly rested.

I'm just glad I don't have JBuilder installed in my head, because I think I was really screwing up my program.

Back to bed I go, hoping for something a bit more restful to dream about...

srah | 5:55 AM | TrackBack
Tags: school of information

March 29, 2004

NPE? NMP!

try
{
StupidProgram.doThatThingIToldYouToDo();
}

catch (NullPointerException e)
{
System.out.println(e.getMessage());
}

public void actionPerformed(ActionEvent e)
{
System.out.println("DIE STUPID NULLPOINTEREXCEPTION DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!1");
srah.goToSleep();
}

srah | 11:24 PM | TrackBack
Tags: school of information

Assorted amusements (or random rubbish)

  • Ladies, take note: make babies and don't be stupid!
  • My favorite Google search of the day
  • Court is always finding hot guys online. (Okay, yeah, this is really old)
  • Here is a picture of an armpit riding a horse.

    srah | 11:14 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
    Tags:

  • Entretien d'embauche

    I put on my suit and blow-dried my hair, mascaraed and lipsticked myself and put on the new shoes I bought just this weekend in preparation for my interview. I looked in the mirror and there was a grown-up in there. I don't know who she was.

    The interview went well and it looks like I may soon have an offer and I may spend part of the summer in France. They asked a lot of the usual interview questions, but there were still a few that threw me. "Tell us about a problem that you've had that you weren't able to solve," for example.

    Who goes around just leaving problems unsolved? I solve my problems and if I can't solve them myself, I farm them out to other people to solve. I outsource. Problems are for solving. I couldn't come up with an example, so I told them that I was pretty sure I just solved my problems. I guess that was an acceptable answer.

    Have you ever had any zingers in a job interview?

    srah | 11:08 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: fashion, interviews, job search

    March 28, 2004

    'But I burrrrrn, Mr A.'

    Another meme completed! My Burn-It: The Winter Edition (theme: Seasonal Affective Disorder) playlist is complete. With any luck, I'll be mailing them out to my group members tomorrow!

    Note: If you're interested in participating in a CD-swap program like this, Krista is currently looking for participants for the Get Up Off Your Ass And Move mix-CD swap. Go on over there and sign up!

    Read on for my SAD playlist...

    srah | 11:22 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: cd swap

    Pretty please?

    I have an interview tomorrow with a study/work-abroad organization that may be able to find me a summer HCI internship in France. Any interview recommendations? Any advice on how not to come across as desperate and clinging pathetically to this one last hope for relevant, credit-worthy summer employment?

    srah | 10:42 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: job search

    Cinco de srahyo

    Five characteristics that I really like about myself:

    1. I like to laugh and make people laugh. I think I am rather good at it.
    2. Deep down, even though I may not show it, I am really quite a nice person.
    3. I am tiny and compact. I am travel-sized for your convenience!
    4. I am good at writing and editing things. I am generally a good speller, too.
    5. I try to look at things from more than one angle.

    What about you?

    [via Kazoofus]

    srah | 11:32 AM | TrackBack
    Tags: memes

    Dorkgument

    My sister set out to watch Hello Dolly! last night and instead ended up watching Road to Bali.

    My mom and I immediately had the same reaction:

    "The two were so much alike!"
    "They were! They still are!"

    She didn't take kindly to us making fun of her through Pirates of Penzance quotes and really ought to have fired back something along the lines of:

    "Collectively, I look upon you with a disgust that amounts to absolute detestation."

    srah | 10:57 AM | TrackBack
    Tags: gilbert and sullivan, movies, quote, srahfam, the pirates of penzance

    Unconscious Mutterings

    My free associations are in the continuation. Now go play along in your own blog!

    srah | 9:32 AM | TrackBack
    Tags: memes, unconscious mutterings

    March 27, 2004

    Famous against my will

    Oh Ann Arbor Observer. While I appreciate the publicity, did you really need to out me with my full name? I feel rather violated to be exposed publicly like this, without any warning!

    I don't mind the ancient, first-semester-related quote, but the recent posts! For god's sake, the recent posts! Did you really need to read my blog on that one particular day?

    I shudder to think about who is going to come to the site just to read about an ongoing battle with restrictive underwear THAT I DO NOT HAVE (for the record).

    srah blah blah - recent posts: Too-tight underwear, end-of-semester angst.  quote: 'Collaboration haiku: End of group project./ At three a.m., groupthinking/ Becomes nothinking.'

    Fellow bloggers' reactions: Airbeagle, The Bunker, Seat of the Revolution.

    If you are reading this because of the Observer article, please leave a comment and let me know!

    [thanks to AirBeagle for the heads-up]

    srah | 8:11 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: ann arbor observer, blogging, recognition

    A message from the Nut-Kicking Council of Srah

    Next time someone asks you to transcribe dialogue from user testing videos, I suggest that you kick them squaaaaar in the nuts.

    That's what I'd do!

    srah | 12:54 AM | TrackBack
    Tags: school of information

    Lock up your redheaded sons - srah's in town!

    My sister has pointed out a disturbing trend wherein John Stevens sings to me, I am in love with all of the Weasleys and I think Prince Harry is perhaps as cute as, if not cuter than, his brother.

    Yeeps! Where are all of these carrot-topped teenagers coming from? I was never the one who was into redheads and they are all babes* in arms! Echhh echhh echhh!

    –––––
    * I don't mean that in the sexy way! Really!

    srah | 12:50 AM | TrackBack
    Tags: boys, john stevens, prince harry, redheads, ron weasley

    No distinguishing features

    Señorita C had a soccer-team fundraiser tonight, where 20% of tonight's proceeds at a local sandwich shop went to the team. So we bundled the whole family on over there.

    I am convinced that I have agoraphobia. It was so loud. It was so crowded. I felt like screaming or punching people in the face or just covering my ears and crying.

    Of course, it is also possible that I just plain hate high school students. They are loud, they are shrill and they all look the same - not only the same as each other, but the same as the people we went to high school with.

    I wish it impressed them in some way that I hate them and that it would make them change in some way. Obey me! FEEEEEAR MEEEEEEEE! I'm a college student! That makes me cool, doesn't it?

    Well... my mom says I'm cool.

    srah | 12:30 AM | TrackBack
    Tags: carla, high school

    March 26, 2004

    Queue faites-vous?

    Once my professor explained that he was going to be using the word "queue" in the British sense, it was all downhill from there.

    My friend-and-fellow-French-major and I had the same thought process, wherein we said to ourselves, The British sense? What other sense is there? ... Well... there's the French sense... (lock eyes, erupt in immature giggles). For you see, the French word "queue" can be a line that you stand in or it can be an animal's tail.

    Oh yeah, or slang for "penis."

    From then on, any mention of the penultimate entry in a list, slow or fast insertion or "Big Oh" notation would make us bite our lips and shake with unreleased laughter. Meanwhile, no one else had made the original connection that we had, so nothing sounded remotely dirty to them.

    So yes, in response to the question that no one asked, graduate students are very mature. Then we had snack time.

    srah | 4:18 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: french, my favorite posts, school of information

    ... So who ELSE should I add to my list of total jerks?

    I found myself walking down the sidewalk yesterday behind a U-M football player. I can only surmise that he was a football player and not a very [good] one, because he was advertising that he was a football player with every ounce of his being*.

    He insisted on being large and taking up the entire sidewalk with his hulking bulk. I was trapped behind him and couldn't see around him, so I had to look at him.

    He was wearing his M FOOTBALL-imprinted pants in that way that is so popular with high school boys, so that it was only by virtue of his long M FOOTBALL-imprinted jacket (and the M FOOTBALL-imprinted backpack with the "I AM A U-M FOOTBALL PLAYER AND HERE IS MY NAME"-imprinted ID tag hanging off of it) that I could not see his M FOOTBALL-imprinted underpants.

    I was so annoyed with him in so many ways. First, he was in my way. Second, he was annoyingly trashily commercial and I know it's very important to him that he's a football player and all, but I don't give a crap. Third, why does this school dress him but we have no parking and 1,000 people in grad-level classes?

    But most of all, it was the stupid pants.

    I was really tempted to pull them down and run away, all the while pretending** to be a tiny little female so that he wouldn't hit me. Now I'm thinking I probably should have, because this blog post does not have an exciting, suspenseful ending at all. It only happened in my head, but now you may let it play out in your own minds as well. Happy imagi-pantsing!

    –––––
    * And being a football player, his being had lots of ounces.
    ** I bet I could pull this off.***
    *** I said "pull this off"!

    srah | 4:00 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: university of michigan

    March 25, 2004

    Why I blog

    "Who else do you even know?"

    srah | 7:20 AM | TrackBack
    Tags:

    March 24, 2004

    She's always a trailer for sale or rent to me...

    Dear John Stevens,

    It is sick sick sick that I can't take my eyes off of you when you're singing and I want you to be singing to me and I get your songs in my head for weeks after your performances.

    You are 16 years old and besides, tbone has already laid claim to you. I'm afraid it can never work between us, sweetie, so please stop giving me that entirely inappropriate 16-year-old come-hither look while you sing and making me want to jump into the TV.

    Sincerely,
    The Demon Dog (No, ha ha, just kidding)
    SRAH

    srah | 7:07 AM | TrackBack
    Tags: american idol, american idol 3, john stevens, open letters, redheads, tv

    March 23, 2004

    Tuesday is Chooseday

    tuesday is choosedayWould you rather:

    1. get an inner ear infection that leaves you feeling off balance for the next 2 years OR get a compound fracture in your arm that leaves your dominant hand useless for the next 6 months?
      Who needs hands, anyway?

    2. discover a new species of plant OR write a book?
      If I wrote a book, it would be about three paragraphs long. Blogging is my thing.

    3. push the button that launches a nuclear missle at another country OR pull the trigger that kills just one suspected terrorist?
      If I'm going to kill innocent people, better one (and a suspected terrorist at that) than millions.

    4. your parents tell you that you were conceived doggy style OR reverse cowboy?
      Gak! Gak gak gak! I am going to pick the second one because I don't know what it is.

    srah | 10:25 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: memes

    'My supperdish, my succotash wish'

    At the party on Friday, two people revealed that the song "Groove is in the Heart" by Dee-lite makes them think of me. I have no idea what it is about the song that reminds them of me. I hope it's not the lyrics, because they make no sense.

    On second thought, that's probably exactly it.

    srah | 1:38 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
    Tags: music

    March 22, 2004

    As Peach Union said, 'On My Own'

    So, hrmmm... I've been puzzling over it all day and can't find an amusing or entertaining way of telling this story...

    Somehow various recent chats with friends have helped me get a better picture of what I want out of life. This weekend I came to the conclusion that not only was I not happy, but I had the power to do something about it in an attempt to make myself happier. So Mr B------ and I have broken up and are going to work on our friendship instead. Back to Swinging Singleton* mode for srah.

    Please take a moment to collect yourself - if you're as surprised as most of the people I've talked to, you've probably fallen off your chair. I'm frankly surprised at the numbers of people who are surprised. And they're probably surprised at me being surprised and I'm surprised at... okay, I'm ending this post now.

    –––––
    * If by "swinging" you mean "doing homework, finding an internship and avoiding romantic entanglements." Which I'm sure you do.

    srah | 11:22 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: boys

    Minor freakout in my brain

    The Urstodian peer-pressured me into painting my nails this weekend. When I paint my fingernails, I feel like a completely different person. Today, for example, I feel like a drag queen.

    Who picked this weird, garish silvery polish? Why is it so bright and attention-getting? Please don't look at my hands! Why are my thumbnails so huge, compared to my other, daintier fingers? I am a mutant!

    srah | 5:56 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: makeup

    Hey baby, wanna walk in Cupid's grove together? *wink*

    Listen, you freaking whores. I grew up watching musicals. Musicals have a lot of sex in them, but like good humour, it appeals to people on different levels. Jokes in Animaniacs were funny on one level to kids and on another to adults. Sex hidden in flowery language is understood by adults and kids just accept the words, sing along, and don't worry about getting it. That's why I didn't realize until about 1999 exactly what Aunt Alicia was training Gigi for. You can't go mindlessly banning one of the best musicals on Earth and the one thing that makes me proud to be an American.

    Well, apparently you can, but that is why you are an ass.

    [story via Bobbert]

    srah | 11:21 AM | TrackBack
    Tags: 1776, movies, musicals

    March 21, 2004

    What am I going to do with forty subscriptions to Vibe?

    I have discovered the future. And it is not pretty.

    Watching Office Space yesterday, I realized that there are at least two jobs in that film that match up to our School of Information training. First of all, after 501, we are trained in consultancy, which means that we could take over for the Bobs. If I chose that career path, I imagine a conversation something like:

    srah: Let's see. You're Neil... Diamond?
    (he nods)
    srah: Is that your real name?
    Neil: Yeah.
    srah: Are you in any relation to the pop singer?
    Neil: It's just a coincidence.
    srah: To be honest with you, I love his music. I do. I am a Neil Diamond fan. For my money, I don't think it gets any better than when he sings "Cracklin' Rosie." I mean you must really love his music.
    Neil: Yeah. Yeah... he, he, he's pretty, he's pretty good, I guess.
    srah: You're GOD DAMN right he is. So tell me. What's your favorite song of his?
    Neil: Hmm. I, I, I don't know. I mean, I guess, I sorta like 'em all.
    srah: HA HA! I feel the exact same way, but it must be hard for you, I mean, having the same name as him. I celebrate the guy's entire catalogue. But anyway, let's get down to business, Neil!
    Neil: You, you know, you can just call me, uh, Bob.
    (glare)

    However, I think I'm more likely to go into a career more related to usability - something where I'm sort of a go-between between the users of a system and the people who program it. Something along the lines of:

    1st Bob: What you do at Initech is you take the specifications from the user and bring them down to the software engineers?
    srah: Yes, yes that's right.
    2nd Bob: Well then I just have to ask, why can't the users take them directly to the software people?
    srah: Well, I'll tell you why... because... engineers are not good at dealing with users....
    1st Bob: What would you say you do here?
    srah: Look I already told you, I deal with the @#$% users so the engineers don't have too. I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people, can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?!

    Actually, I think my dream job is more along the lines of Peter's... because I'd really rather just do nothing.

    [dialogue from Office Space transcript]

    srah | 3:18 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: quote, school of information

    Dream

    I woke up this morning and remembered a dream where I had been travelling. I had a layover at O'Hare airport in Chicago so I went to a bookstore and browsed, ran into Robin and Johanna, then I realized I didn't know when my flight was, so I left and went to find my flight. Then I woke up.

    What an incredibly boring dream. Later I remembered a part where I had visa problems and they didn't want to let me into Chicago (what? Visa for Chicago?), which made it only marginally more interesting.

    srah | 2:51 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: dream

    Things that I like

    • things that glow in the dark
    • irregular plurals in French ("les cieux", "les messieurs")
    • painting my toenails
    • not being messy
    • Gilbert Bécaud
    • irregular plurals in French
    • plaid
    • water
    • reading for fun
    • my academic advisor
    • Trivial Pursuit
    • Han Solo
    • irregular plurals in French
    • various other things that don't come to mind right now

    What are some things you like?

    srah | 1:44 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: happy, lists, my favorite posts

    Unconscious Mutterings

    Where could the free associations be? Find them and win a prize!

    srah | 8:53 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
    Tags: memes, unconscious mutterings

    March 20, 2004

    Will come up with a better title when have sobered up

    Meant to drink to the point where I would be fun and outgoing.

    Have (am?) instead drunk to the point where I try to stuff plastic frogs into Young Matthew's shoes. Will she ever learn?

    P.S. HA HA HA HA HA to all of the funny things that happened tonight that I can't exactly go posting on the internet. Best. SI Party. Ever.

    srah | 1:23 AM | TrackBack
    Tags: alcohol

    March 18, 2004

    Go, erm, blue.

    I bought season tickets today for next year's Michigan football season. I know, I know, I am not the first person you would expect to buy season football tickets. I am not necessarily a big sports fan*. But

    • I do enjoy getting swept up in the enthusiasm and a Michigan football game, unlike Zzzzalbionzzzzz, has plenty of spirit.
    • Cari told us her tales from the games last season and somehow I felt like I was missing out.
    • This is my last chance to sit in the student section.

    Because of all of these factors, I grabbed the opportunity and bought tickets in the SI seating group so that I can sit with my fellow nerds.

    Perhaps we should make up our own cheers. What rhymes with "archives"?

    -----
    * I am not a big anything!

    srah | 2:41 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: sports

    March 17, 2004

    Wisdom of srah

    "Sometimes we have to close the Great Dishwasher Door of Life and stop the licking."
    - me

    (srahmom said it was so profound that I should write it down somewhere... like in, say, a blog. If I had such a thing! Ah, those crazy kids and their "blogs"!)

    srah | 8:33 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: quote

    Toot toot!

    For the information of anyone who happened to be in the stairwell with me today:

    When I loudly exclaimed, "OH MY GOD! DID THAT COME OUT OF MY *NOSE*?" I was talking about a strange whistling sound that I had made.

    I, er, realize that the statement was a bit ambiguous and that it could have been interpreted as something else. But it wasn't. Because that would be horrible.

    srah | 6:29 PM | TrackBack
    Tags:

    What's that thing about roads rising up?

    I would like to take this St Patrick's Day moment to remind you of that famous Irish blessing:

    May the Lord protect and defend you,
    May he always shield you from shame
    May you come to be in Israel a shining name--

    Wait...

    srah | 2:23 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: holidays

    I do not like them. SAM I am.

    Yars, folks. It's St Patrick's Day. So naturally, Mr B------ and I went out for Mexican. It seems everyone is indeed Irish on St Patrick's Day, as the folks at Panchero's have dyed all of the tortillas a sickly sort of green.

    My mummy used to make us green eggs and ham* for St Patrick's Day. That would be an interesting incident if they looked anything like the book's illustrations. Instead, green-dyed scrambled eggs pretty much just look like a plate of snot. As we grew up, we realized how revolting they looked and refused to eat them, so they got fed to the neighbor kids.

    St Patrick's Day is nice and all, but it results in a lot of rather repulsive-looking, disturbingly miscoloured food.

    srah | 2:04 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: holidays

    March 16, 2004

    Tuesday is Chooseday

    A new meme (to me). We'll see if it catches on...

    tuesday is choosedayWould you rather:

    1. walk to school OR carry your lunch?
    I'm not one of them fancy downtown-dwellers... it takes about 20 minutes to drive downtown, so I'm definitely not walking. That said, at least I wouldn't have to look for parking.

    2. drink green beer and throw up for the next hour OR drink green beer and pass out and wake up in an unknown place?
    This is hard. That doesn't sound like a good answer, but I really hate throwing up.

    3. catch a leprechaun and he give you his pot of gold but the police think you stole the gold and you go to prison OR have to run away from a leprechaun that's evil like the one in the movie?
    srah is all about adventure. As long as that adventure is not prison.

    4. call in "sick" to work so you can go celebrate st. patrick's day with your friends OR go to work and your boss takes you all out to party?
    There are one or two fun people at work... and this way, I get paid.

    srah | 10:33 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: memes

    Open letter to foul Michigan weather

    Dear Snow,

    Please continue to fall until you come up to about my neck, so that I don't have to go to Programming class today.

    Actually, I don't mind going to class. Instead, please find a way that I could go to class but would not have to hand in this homework, since I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing.

    I have no idea how snow could achieve this, but I'm sure you'll think of something. Thanks, weather, you're a dear.

    Love,
    SRAH

    P.S. If you are not going to be useful to me in some way or another, please melt immediately and bring actual springish weather. Thankssomuch.

    srah | 12:25 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: weather

    March 15, 2004

    Because you all like him more than me...

    Dear Girl Who Lives In My House,

    Sit. Siiiiiiiit. Staaaaaaaaaaaaay. No, not at the computer! Bad girl!

    I don't feel like being in either of the rooms with computers. You really should come out to the family room and watch some TV, because I am morally obligated to be in the same room as whoever is home at all times. And I want to sleep in that room.

    You can't possibly have anything more important to do than inhabit the same room as me so that I can sleep!

    I don't think you've quite understood what I'm getting at. Sometimes you sit at the computer and then tell me to go away when I scratch at you and whimper and jump on you, digging my toenails into you. Finally you give in, seeming to think that I would only scratch that insistently if I really had to go out. Silly you!

    I get you as far as the family room, then you continue to the back door, holding it open and freezing yourself with that cold air. Sigh... if only you were a little smarter, maybe you would realize that I'm not trying to go out... I'm trying to get you to change rooms.

    Your training is not working very well, Girl. Maybe you'll catch on someday.

    Love,

    The Devil Dog

    srah | 9:39 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: howie, open letters

    L'ennui du globe-trotter

    I am currently applying for two different internships in France (and another in Brussels, although I haven't heard back from them at all in the week since I sent my resumé). I almost started crying just now, listening to Jean-Jacques Goldman and thinking about my possible arrival in Paris this May or so.

    Why do I ache for France when I'm home and long for home when I'm in France? When I'm in France, I tell myself I could never spend my whole life there, but when I'm in the US, I realize I could never spend my whole life here, either. I am never satisfied.

    srah | 9:28 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: france

    Special skills? I ain't got no stinkin' special skills

    Agency initiates steps for selective draft

    Uh... hockey is good. Mounties are neat. I hear they have excellent maple syrup in Canada. Too bad I don't like maple syrup. Or cold. Or curling.

    Mightn't one draft-dodge just as well in France?

    [via niobeweeps]

    srah | 8:21 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: politics, war

    March 14, 2004

    To whom it may concern:

    Dear FutureMe, I hope you do not wear sweat suits like your mom and let your hair look all shitty.
    Dear FutureMe, WHAT'S UP!
    Dear FutureMe, How is the future? Good I hope. Do I have a girlfriend? Do I have a wife? Write back soon.

    FutureMe.org lets you send yourself (or other people) emails to the future. You could send an e-mail today and it would be delivered to you in 2010, sort of like a time capsule.

    You can also read those emails which people have chosen to make public. My favorites are the ones who ask questions and ask their future selves to write back in time.

    I am amused and have written to check up on myself a year from today to see what I'm up to.

    srah | 6:18 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: discovered

    Hey... *breathe breathe*... what are you wearing?

    I have a phone interview tomorrow afternoon.

    Why do I feel like I need to dress up?

    srah | 3:29 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack
    Tags: job search

    Apparently srahs don't make passes at men who wear glasses

    I saw Green Fairy's results from the Match.com Physical Attraction Test and decided I had to take it myself. I've never been able to put my finger on what I find physically attractive and what I don't. Here's some of what it told me:

    Favorite Qualities
    • Your photo choices suggest a man over 35 is probably getting a little old for your tastes
    • You seemed interested in dating a man at least 25 or older
    • Very handsome men
    • Sharp, narrow chins
    • Narrow and pointed "triangular" faces
    • So-called "Ectomorphs," or thin angular faces

    Favorite Looks
    We call one type of guy that you seemed to consistently like "Pups." Their look goes with a certain loveable, puppy dog appeal. They're nice-looking guys, but they are imperfect enough to be approachable. Their big eyes and goofy smiles convey warmth and kindness. Like puppies, these guys can be a bit awkward and clumsy, so be prepared to have a drink or two spilled on you! Only about 1 in 10 women (11%) are attracted to this unique type, so they'll be flattered that you appreciate their charm.

    Another of the "looks" that you consistently noticed has been described as "The Boy Next Door." He has an open face, with big eyes, and a big grin. He has a youthful or boyish quality that will follow him throughout his life. Typically this look is associated with light brown hair, a close shave, and blue or hazel eyes. These guys convey a warm, trusting impression, but watch out for that mischievous side! Our studies find that about 1 in 5 women (18%) are especially attracted to this youthful look.

    Favorite Face Type
    You especially liked a pattern scientists refer to as "Ectomorphs." Geometrically, they are similar to triangles, because they are widest at the cheekbones and then narrow to a relatively pointed chin. Ectomorph men are said to have "angular" features, including a chiseled nose and prominent cheekbones. Historically, these faces have been viewed as distinguished and were often found on European royalty. These men also tend to have lean builds. [And, you may want to watch out for those ears, since on true Ectomorphs, they tend to stick out a good bit.] About 22% of other women especially prefer this face type.

    This guy is supposed to be my My Type. I suppose he's pretty cute, but he looks kind of like he would want to talk about economics and Survivor and Abercrombie & Fitch and basketball and I might have to punch him. It does not show whether I would still be attracted to him when he has a black eye.

    Take it yourself if you're interested!

    Update: Other people have been posting more of their results. Mine are in the extension!

    srah | 2:09 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: discovered

    Wish they all could be California rolls

    I love California rolls, but I don't like eating them in restaurants, with chopsticks. I either have to stuff the whole thing in my mouth and choke on it, or I have to try to take bites from it and the whole thing falls apart and falls into my lap.

    I much prefer eating them at home, where I can eat with my fingers. The whole thing still falls into my lap, but at least no one can see me picking bits of rice and avocado out of my lap.

    srah | 12:34 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: food

    Bevaaaaaaare the Curse!

    I have my Java Programming lab at 10am on Thursday mornings. Rather than taking over the SHEEPDIP several times a week, SI Computing gives us laptop computers from the Locally Accessible Machine Base for Developing Information Professionals*.

    Every week, I have a problem with the first laptop they give me. It has no battery life and I can't get it plugged in before it cuts out and has to reboot, or else it doesn't have the JBuilder software installed. Add to that the fact that my 9:00 class has recently been held in the boonies of the Institute for Social Research and I am always the last person who is set up and ready to get started on the lab.

    This week, however was different. I was not the last person to get set up for the lab. Everyone got their laptops after I got there, we opened them up and turned them on.

    Then my computer wouldn't connect to the network. Well, I needed network and Internet access in order to download the assignment and save my work, so that would not do. I talked to the SI Computing assistant and she brought me a different one.

    I waited the million years for that one to boot up and go through the network prompts, only to find that it was also not connecting. Neither of them seemed to have the wireless network among their list of possible connections. Another SI Computing assistant came in and the two of them fiddled around with things, then gave up and brought me another.

    This one did not work either. The fourth laptop wouldn't even boot up. Finally, they gave it one last try and brought in number five. We rejoiced as, at 11:05 in our one-hour lab, I signed in, connected to the network, and went to the website where I could download the files needed for the assignment. Then I went to start up JBuilder and...

    JBuilder? Oh yes, this is the one laptop that I always get, the one that doesn't have JBuilder installed. Lovely. I gave up and went to lunch.

    I was not the last person to get set up for lab this week... because I was never set up for lab!

    -----
    * a cart full of laptop computers, known to some heathen unbelievers as the "Mobile DIAD"

    srah | 11:10 AM | TrackBack
    Tags: school of information

    Unconscious Mutterings

    Please, step into the inner workings of my mind.

    srah | 10:06 AM | TrackBack
    Tags: memes, unconscious mutterings

    March 11, 2004

    Four rejections and an offer*

    More than 15 internship-related emails just this week. Do you know how hard it is to remember to write out Sarah and the last name and all when you are used to signing your emails "SRAH"?

    I hope you don't. Why are you signing your emails with my name, creep?

    -----
    * Actually, it's only two rejections, but that doesn't sound anything like Four Weddings and a Funeral, whereas this sort of does. On Planet Crazy.

    srah | 8:18 AM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
    Tags: job search

    March 10, 2004

    The Secret of the Surreptitious Spammer

    I am really not much of a Girl Sleuth. I am not Nancy Drew. I am not Nan or Flossie Bobbsey. I am not even Encyclopedia Brown, and most of his cases were solved not through any actual sleuthing, but through knowledge of trivia or logic.

    If I were a Bobbsey Twin, I would have staked out my mailbox and watched for suspicious-looking characters putting things into it. If I were Nancy Drew, I might have dusted the spam messages for fingerprints. If I were any kind of semi-professional Girl Detective, I might at least have narrowed it down to a few suspects.

    Instead, my detecting strategy consisted of going up to everyone I could think of and shouting, "Did you send me spam?!" It was not a very covert operation at all. I did this by process of elimination and avoided asking my last suspect for as long as possible so that if it turned out it wasn't him, I would not be floundering in confusion and uncertainty.

    If I were a Girl Sleuth, this is how today's exchange would have played out.

    Encyclopedia Srah spotted the suspect as he held the door for the class.

    "HAVE YOU BEEN SPAMMING ME?!" she questioned him as she walked through. She then, very anticlimactically, had to wait for the rest of the class to enter before she could follow up her investigation or hear his answer.

    "Hey!" she continued once she had him in the classroom investigation room, "Did you send me that spam? It was you, wasn't it?! ... wasn't it? It was, wasn't it?"

    "What?" said Young Matthew, twirling his curly black moustache and looking wildly around the room, "I didn't send you three spam messages yesterday. I don't know what you're talking about."

    The moral of the story is: It is always Matt. Don't even bother asking anyone else, because it is always Matt.

    srah | 1:09 PM | TrackBack
    Tags:

    March 9, 2004

    Lobster Thermidor à Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provençale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pâté, brandy and with a fried egg on top and...

    srah | 10:37 PM | TrackBack
    Tags:

    Perhaps this is where try comes in...

    We were learning about throwing and catching exceptions in my Java class today and it got me thinking... what the heck kind of nerds were the first Java programmers?

    Throw and catch? If they were any kind of real nerds, we would have been learning about throw and getHitOnTheHead. Or maybe parryWithAPlasticRenaissanceFestivalSword and runAWAAAAAAAAY!.

    srah | 10:26 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: java, programming, readers' choice

    How I spent my morning

    The first thing I did when I woke up this morning was to look at my watch.

    OMG, I thought groggily to myself, for I always think groggily in internet acronyms when I wake up in the morning, It's one thingy away from the big 9. I only have two hours until lunch. I need to get up so I can do something productive with my morning.

    After I got up and hooked up to the jumpstarting machine that resets my brain every morning, I realized that while it was indeed "one thingy away from the big 9," I had apparently forgotten which way was clockwise and which was counter-.

    It was, however, nice to be up two hours earlier than expected. I, ever behind in the internship-finding process, finally sent out my Google application and contacted 13 other organizations with preliminary "Here's who I am, here's what I want, can I send you my resume?" emails. I've already gotten two rejections, but I've also gotten a "Yes, please send your resume" so we'll see where things go. One is a more libraryish-type position, but it's in Brussels and they're willing to give their interns language lessons. Schwee.

    srah | 10:14 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: school of information

    Glutton for... well, food actually

    We went out last night to the Gandy Dancer to celebrate my dad's birthday. I had a mozzarella-tomato salad, Coquilles St-Jacques and coconut sorbet.

    I don't really have anything interesting to say on that subject, except yuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum.

    srah | 10:00 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: food

    Now I lay me down to sleep/ I guess I'll go count the sheep

    (upon finishing my Java programming homework)

    Mr B------: As President Clinton said, Mission Accomplished!
    srah: When did he say that?
    Mr B------: Well, he didn't. But his banner did, when he was on a boat.
    (long pause)
    srah: Did you mean President Bush?
    Mr B------: Huh?
    srah: You said President Clinton.
    Mr B------: Oh.
    srah: You meant President George Clinton.
    Mr B------: He has the distinction of being the only president who had a Parliament.

    srah | 12:10 AM | TrackBack
    Tags: conversation, mr b, readers' choice

    March 7, 2004

    Drunky Von Drunk Drunk HATES YOU!

    I am irritable and I hate everyone and everything. I'm tired, I don't want to deal with anyone or their problems, I just want everyone to see things my way and shut up about it already. I want people to stop taking me for granted and to occasionally care about how I feel, and if that means I have to be the squeaky wheel, I'm gonna. And I'm thirsty.

    The only plausible solution: I am in a state of perma-hangover from having two drinks on Friday night. I will never escape and I will hate you all FOREVER!!!!1*

    –––––
    * Unshifted exclamation mark (1) in place because it annoys you all!

    srah | 7:47 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: alcohol

    Of all the Greek and Roman grandmas, Cupid, the god of chicken is certainly the best known.

    As you may remember reading, we played MadLibs in the car on the way to and from DC. My carmates have asked that I record some of them for posterity, but as most of the things involving our SI professors (whose names have been abbreviated to avoid Googlings) will not interest you, the results are all in the extension. Read on if you dare!

    srah | 10:27 AM | TrackBack
    Tags: alternative spring break, alternative spring break 2004, mad libs, school of information

    March 6, 2004

    Unconscious Mutterings

    Once upon a time, there lived a happy little meme called Unconscious Mutterings. And then it was eaten by a bear. The end.

    srah | 9:26 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: memes, unconscious mutterings

    Dream

    My favorite part of my dream last night was when it was raining and the dog had wet feet, so he put Señorita C's slippers on when he came into the house. I also enjoyed seeing all of the white skyscrapers of Nice, which are covered in cartoon characters.

    srah | 9:54 AM | TrackBack
    Tags: dream

    March 5, 2004

    Je me déplaise en faisant la Java

    I got an internship offer. First-year students at SI live for internship offers. It's in Peru, home of Machu Picchu, where I have always wanted to go. And I, ungrateful tart that I am, am going to turn it down.

    When I initially applied for internships through IAESTE, I was a young, energetic Java programmer, full of Hello World! and vim and vigor. I knew that I would pick up useful skills during the semester that would get me a crackerjack internship with plenty of lovely experience!

    Now I am old and jaded and have come to realize that if I accepted an internship that involved programming in Java all day, I would soon have to throw myself under a collectivo.

    So, in the interest of not forcing my loved ones to pay for the repatriation of my remains, I'm going to have to decline. It feels really rotten to turn down an internship offer when I have no real prospects for any others.

    O Google! Despite the passing of your deadline in mid-February, I hope that thou shalt accept my humble application, which I shall be sending on Monday.

    srah | 8:10 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: school of information

    Neck, glorious neck

    Assuming that my shoulders are each 90° from my normal point of vision, I can turn my head about 89° to the left right now and around 50° to the right. Attempts by Mr B------ to massage my neck have been met with whimpers and death threats. I think I slept on it funny.

    It amuses me because you don't realize how much you use your neck until it is unbearably painful to do so. At least my waist is getting a nice workout from doing all of the turning work. Unfortunately, I look like a total dweeb turning my entire torso or entire body every time I want to redirect my attention.

    I think I have been working on this same stupid Java assignment for too long, because I really wanted to start this post:

    if (int normalLeftShoulderRange == 89 && int normalRightShoulderRange == 89)
       int currentLeftShoulderRange = 89;
       int currentRightShoulderRange = 50;
       srah.isInPain(currentRightShoulderRange);
    else
       srah.apparentlyIsntInPainButThisIsntVeryGoodLogicAnyway(currentRightShoulderRange);

    srah | 6:35 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: health, pain

    Sometimes I wonder things and it makes me sound high

    I know New Zealand and all, but where is the original Zealand?

    If it were Zeeland, it would sound sort of Dutch.

    Was it called New Zealand because people who went there had a New Zeal for life?

    srah | 5:01 PM | TrackBack
    Tags:

    The Weather Pixie reports

    It's 64 degrees right now.

    Tomorrow, it's going to snow.

    Michigan, you can go directly to Hell!

    srah | 4:45 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: weather

    I don't like spam! ... except this one.

    I got spam in my mailbox yesterday.

    I am sure this is not exciting to you. "I get spam all of the time, srah," you say, belligerently, "You're going to have to be more interesting than that."

    The subject of the email was "viagra... XXX... vicotin... 25-50%... xxx".

    "Srah, seriously," you say, tapping your foot. "Why are you wasting my time? I get email just like that too. Don't go thinking you're anything special."

    The difference is, I got spam in my mailbox. Not my email inbox, but my real live meatspace mailbox at school.

    This is the coolest thing I've ever gotten in my mailbox. And I don't know who sent it to me. I remember having a conversation with someone about getting so much spam in our SI email inboxes that it was going to start spilling over into the mailboxes... but now I can't remember who it was.

    So I keep asking people if they sent me spam. They look at me funny and I have to show it to them. The most common reaction is, "It wasn't me... but I wish it had been!"

    Was it you?

    srah | 8:26 AM | TrackBack
    Tags:

    March 3, 2004

    Good show, old chap!

    I have been responding "Righty-o" to everything for about a week now. Where did this come from? I can't remember hearing it anywhere... it's like it just appeared out of nowhere.

    Make it stop!!!!1

    srah | 8:06 AM | TrackBack
    Tags:

    March 2, 2004

    Filling out the ASB Participant Report Form

    2) What did you like most about your assignment?

    It makes me feel as though my hard work at SI ain't been in vain fer nothin'.

    (Bless you all!)

    srah | 10:42 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: alternative spring break, alternative spring break 2004, singin' in the rain

    Stop your whinging, Eston, here it comes

    Definition of a bad day:

    • Going to sleep and deciding to finish your programming assignment in the morning is a bad idea. You will have mysterious errors you have never heard of and don't know how to fix on one assignment and the other will be completely unintelligible and you will be so confused you will give up and decide to hand it in late on the same day that you find out you got yet another 15/20 on a homework assigment in that class.
    • You will go to check out the results on your survey in order to do the write-up for the paper due tomorrow, only to find that stupid fucking Zoomerang only keeps results for 10 days after launch date (launch date being February 14) so that you have to pay in order to get the results after that date. You have sent in a request, including your credit card number, hoping that they are only going to charge you the $25 extension fee and not the full $500-something membership fee... and not knowing if this is actually going to go through today. What is a survey report without results? It's not like the teacher likes your group, anyway.
    • You have not eaten lunch.
    • The email with subject "Struggling with your job/internship search?" sits in your Inbox, mocking you.
    • You would like to skip Programming and stay home and cry instead, but then you wouldn't learn anything and you would be even more confused than you already are, which is very.

    Welcome back to school, srah.

    srah | 3:09 PM | TrackBack
    Tags: school of information

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