114 entries from srah blah blah tagged with 'health':


Oink oink, baby

Swine flu is running rampant in these parts, so I went to the grocery store and bought a bag of apples, because an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Unfortunately, when I went to bite into the first apple, I remembered that in cartoons, pigs are always depicted with an apple in their mouth. So I'm back to square one, and completely confused as to whether apples turn you into a pig or prevent you from becoming one. I should probably not base all of my medical and/or life decisions on proverbs and cartoons....

srah - Tuesday, 1 September 2009 - 7:15 PM
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She's not only merely dead/ She's really most sincerely dead

I have some kind of cold/virus/death plague, which has been with me since I came back from Chicago, if not longer. Right now, I am in the phlegmy-fatigued stage¹. I am feeling so tired/lazy right now that I don't have the energy to fill up my hot water bottle and am instead hoping for a stray cat to find its way into my apartment and go to sleep on my chest. I don't even know if a hot water bottle-slash-cat is good for anything I have, but at this point I'm about to start resorting to mustard poultices and eyes...

srah - Tuesday, 9 June 2009 - 9:18 PM
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I must remain in close concealment/ Until I can appear in decent clothing!

Note: If you are reading this in England (or anywhere else where "pants" means "underpants" as opposed to "trousers") you should either substitute "trousers" for "pants" when reading this OR read "pants" as "pants" and laugh uproariously. A few months ago, my sedentary lifestyle and love for ice cream and french fries caused me to have to go pants-shopping, as all of the pants I had were straining at the waist. I bought several new pairs of pants and retired many others. Now, although I am no less fond of ice cream and french fries (and no less sedentary either)...

srah - Tuesday, 18 November 2008 - 6:23 AM
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And I hope this message stays in your mind/ 'Cause you almost lost a girl who is right on time

This morning, when I was on my way to work, my car's clock (which is set 10 minutes ahead in order to try to trick me into getting places on time, except it doesn't work because I just mentally subtract 10 minutes automatically now) said 9:07, because I had not yet reset it after Daylight Saving Time ended this weekend. The sun was bright and shining, and when I got to work, there were no parking spaces left. I started to panic that I had, in changing my alarm clock, changed it in the wrong direction, but no, it turns...

srah - Monday, 3 November 2008 - 9:35 PM
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Hey, get outta there! You gonna make people sick!

Yes, I am definitely getting a cold. I am exhausted and am going to bed at 8:30 tonight. Whereas all the water in my body had been going into sweat production earlier this week, now most of it is going into snot production now. But don't worry! It's still hot and sweaty out! I am probably going to pass out from dehydration if I stop drinking water for five minutes.I'm going to Nanjing tomorrow. I may not update this weekend.But I have some notes and I will blog them when I can.Zaijian!...

srah - Thursday, 25 September 2008 - 8:25 AM
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Get up offa that thing/ And walk 'til clothes fit better

In news tangentially related to the Butler Gas Station Did It'">previous post, I went to the doctor the other week for my allergies (she actually believed I was sick this time!) and they weighed me. My weight tends to fluctuate within about a 10-pound range, but it had fluctuated out of that range to the point where I was eligible to give blood. Oops! I didn't think too much of it until I started realizing that my pants were a little tight this week, and that I also hadn't recorded my steps on Walker Tracker in a month or more,...

srah - Friday, 23 May 2008 - 12:57 PM
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All the decisions have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs...

I have been eating a lot of peanut butter this week. This can mean only one of two things: My body is telling me, "Sarah, we¹ need more protein! We will make you crave peanut butter so that you will put more protein in us!" OR My body is telling me, "Sarah, you bought peanut butter on impulse at the store last week. Why did you waste money on peanut butter when you don't even like peanut butter? We have to use that stuff up!" I don't know why my body is so concerned with my spending habits. ¹ My...

srah - Wednesday, 27 February 2008 - 11:25 AM
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Tomorrow is another day! Fiddle-dee-dee!

January 24 is supposed to be the worst day of the year, but for my money, it's January 30. The blogosphere sounds cranky today, I couldn't sleep last night, I had so much work to do today, crazy amounts of multi-tasking had to be done to get things finished (which they are, sort of, almost, or will be by the time they need to be, I think) and everyone around me is sick. I almost wish I were sick. I always get sick when no one else is sick, and then when things are going around and striking down half...

srah - Wednesday, 30 January 2008 - 6:47 PM
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Ah do-run-run-run?

(The most annoying thing about blogging is that the posts do not write themselves. I have been making notes all week and am only now catching up on actually writing out the damned things.) My favorite office on campus, the Office of Employee Health and Well-Being, has come through again with yet another exciting activity. Starting last Monday, I am now a member of Team [University I Work At], a training program for a 5k run/walk race in April. I originally thought that I would just sign up for the race and not waste $20 on the training sessions, but...

srah - Wednesday, 30 January 2008 - 12:54 PM
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'Tis makin' me kind o' sick

Unpleasant: Staying home sick from work on Monday. Worse: Hearing on Tuesday morning that there is a case of bacterial meningitis running around campus somewhere. They've contacted all the students who would have had contact with Student Zero, but I have a feeling that the don't ever ask about grownups whose office they went to and coughed on. I don't have any of the primary symptoms (high fever, headache, and stiff neck) but I did have a few of the secondary ones (nausea, confusion, and sleepiness). My first thought was "AIEEEEEEEE! I have it! I have to go get diagnosed!"...

srah - Tuesday, 20 November 2007 - 6:40 AM
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Overnight, there's been a breathless change in you

Well hello, and welcome to my living room blog. It's a Multi-Stanza Weather-Haiku Extravaganza! And you're all invited! Last night: wore no coat This morning: need light jacket Right now: OH GOD, SNOW! Forty-one degrees Where the hell did that come from? Should have brought a hat What be these white flakes? Be it snow, or do the gods Need Head & Shoulders? Accident'ly punched the microwave. Unrelated to weather, sorry. My hand is bleeding Next time I'll punch you HARDER! Curse you, microwave! Oh, back to weather. Now they're forecasting showers. We'll be wet AND cold. I'm not crying...

srah - Thursday, 15 November 2007 - 10:56 PM
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A person can develop the flu/ The flu, a hundred and three point two

[Note to those of you who have suggested themes/lyrics: I am going to try to use your suggestions, especially when my everyday life doesn't inspire me. Just because I haven't used them yet doesn't mean I won't. Keep suggesting!] The yearly question once again raises its head: to flu shot, or not to flu shot? I've gotten by without flu shots for my whole life so far and don't usually get hit very hard in flu season (just enough to take a sick day off work and some time to take care of myself), but on the other hand, I...

srah - Friday, 2 November 2007 - 7:10 PM
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Blah blah blah exercise blah blah fiber

I went to my weekly core-based toning class yesterday, offered through the Office of Employee Health and Well-Being (they do offer us a lot of opportunities to take care of ourselves here!). We seemed to focus a lot on the obliques. Obliques? I didn't even know I had obliques. I have certainly never used them before. I seem to manage to go through life, never putting myself in situations where my obliques are in any way stretched. So I contorted myself into all kinds of ridiculous positions to use my newfound obliques for the first time, and today they are...

srah - Friday, 6 July 2007 - 12:45 PM
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Dream

I told everyone at work yesterday that I called in sick yesterday morning because I baked cookies on Sunday night and sampled my wares a little too much. This is the truth, but it is not the whole truth. As a result of my late-night sugar binging, my blood sugar dropped during the night and I woke up a zombie. Normally when I wake up with low-blood-sugar-zombie syndrome, I just eat some breakfast, take my pills and get on with my morning (or I assume I have the flu because I'm stupid and I forget sometimes that I am now...

srah - Tuesday, 5 June 2007 - 5:17 PM
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If I meet him in heaven, I'm leaving

I recently signed up for a lunchtime program sponsored by the Office of Employee Health and Well-Being, where participants are all supposed to walk from their workplaces to a designated place on campus, then learn about something related to happy/healthy living. I skipped the first week because the theme was line dancing, which makes me the opposite of happy. Then after I signed up, I found that the last week - which was supposed to be about "journaling" - has been replaced with something that threatens to make me even less happy than line dancing: a book discussion about Mitch...

srah - Thursday, 29 March 2007 - 6:45 PM
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Stirring and stirring and stirring my brew

First my dentist had a problem with me drinking sugary tea. Now there are reports that milk cancels out all those health benefits that we, the tea-addicted, were happy to hear we were accidentally getting. I can't help but feel personally persecuted by Science. Curse you, Science! Why are you out to ruin my daily (or several times daily) cuppa? If it isn't Science who's at the bottom of all this, I suspect it's all a conspiracy by the mint/oolong tea industries to get me, the main consumer of all the tea in the whole world, to switch away from...

srah - Thursday, 11 January 2007 - 12:25 PM
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No thank you, fish make love in it

I went to the dentist yesterday for the first time in almost two years (I know, I am a filthy horrible person and I am ashamed) and learned that I have some cavities (I am even more ashamed, thank you). At least she didn't say anything about gingivitis. The dentist said that from the type and location of the cavities, she could deduce that they were probably caused by drinking sugary liquids... liquids like... tea with sugar. She's like House! She said that I didn't necessarily need to stop or even cut down on the tea or the sugar, but...

srah - Thursday, 4 January 2007 - 6:18 PM
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Yakity yak, don't talk back

I went to the ophthalmologist today for my yearly checkup. The diagnosis: I still have the same number of eyes I had at this time last year. Yay! I really like going to the ophthalmologist, and I don't know why that is. I dread going to the dentist and I have no particular fondness for other doctor's appointments, but I look forward to eye appointments and the opportunity to show off my letter-reading skills and to see the veins on the inside of my eye when a light gets flashed on it. The only thing that bothered me was that...

srah - Wednesday, 29 November 2006 - 8:35 PM
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Doctor Piglet, Doctor Winston, practice your art

Good news! I do not have a concussion... I think. This afternoon I went a-returnin' things that I bought before my trip, which I later decided I didn't need. When I got to the mall in Cincinnati, I opened my truck to get out the shoebox, reached in, and the FIERCE STRONG WINDS blew the trunk lid down on my head. Tears came to my eyes and I sort of stumbled through the parking lot in a haze, wondering if I had a concussion. I returned my shoes, wandered in and out of stores, checked my pupils in the restroom...

srah - Saturday, 28 October 2006 - 6:53 PM
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Because you're mine, I walk online

Thanks to Ed, I have discovered Walker Tracker, which has many of the features of the previous step-tracking site I was using, but with more community interaction and graphs! Read my step logger! Watch my progress go up and down! Join this one now!...

srah - Wednesday, 6 September 2006 - 8:36 PM
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Pedometerphile

Apete gave me a pedometer for my birthday. It is just like his, so rather than saying "How many steps have you taken so far? Is that a lot? How many did you do yesterday? I wonder how many I did. Do you think I did a lot?" I can track my own steps. So far, the best way I've found to keep track of my steps is with Steptracker. That way I can keep track of how many steps I did, and I can make a "comments" field to try to record my activities during the day and see...

srah - Thursday, 31 August 2006 - 12:55 PM
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So anyway, this all sucks

I had a doctor's appointment yesterday wherein I learned that I am, it would appear, a fat old woman trapped in a tiny young body. As she diagnosed me with PCOS and some glucose intolerance (both related to the diabetes that runs in my family), she kept telling me how unusual it was for me to have these problems because they're usually found in obese people who are older than me and "YOU'RE ONLY 25! AND YOU WEIGH 111 POUNDS¹!" Yeah, that doesn't really make me feel any better. I was told for years that the way to avoid diabetes-related...

srah - Tuesday, 4 April 2006 - 5:03 PM
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Our second and third place contestants will receive... Scooby Doo band-aids!

This morning, I took the Glucose Challenge and I won! At least... I think I won. They're going to let me know. I guess they have to wait for the voting public to weigh in. Actually, come to think of it, I don't remember seeing any of the other contestants. Or any cameras. This is the worst reality show ever! Well, that ate two hours out of my life. Actually, it ate a lot more, if you count all the time I spent thinking about food when I was supposed to be fasting 10-12 hours before the test. And if...

srah - Wednesday, 22 February 2006 - 9:18 PM
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The paranoid ramblings of a druggie

I woke up this morning and felt as though someone had removed my eyeballs during the night, gouging them out and enlarging the sockets. They had then stuffed my sinuses and brain cavity with cotton, set it on fire and replaced the eyeballs, putting them in the wrong sockets and clumsily caulking them into place. I forced myself to get out of bed, but my one and only desire was to fall head-first on the carpet, crumple into a ball and moan about the evil that had been done to my head. I tried to convince myself to get up...

srah - Wednesday, 25 January 2006 - 12:44 PM
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Hypochondriac, diagnose thyself!

It's all right, folks. I have survived my brush with death. All is well now. I was concerned, this afternoon, that I was suffering from some kind of Wrist Flu. I felt just fine, but my wrists (my right one in particular) was extremely sweaty. It was so sweaty that I kept leaving puddles on the mousepad and the keyboard wrist-rest. I had to roll up my sleeve because the wrist of my sweater was sopping wet. As my boss had already left for the day after warning us not to come near him for fear of catching his lightheadedqueasiness,...

srah - Tuesday, 10 January 2006 - 4:31 PM
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I like Inuktitut!

If I had to pick a week in which to get a papercut under my fingernail, it would be this one. Each K and each I and each comma has to be carefully typed so as not to put pressure on my boo-boo. This makes typing frustrating and slow. Fortunately, I only have a day and a half at a keyboard this week! However, if I had to pick between having a papercut under my fingernail and not having a papercut under my fingernail... I would be typing like wildfire!...

srah - Monday, 21 November 2005 - 5:05 PM
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'I'm floating in a most peculiar way/ And the stars look very different today'

I spent my late morning and afternoon stuffy and headachey then floaty and shivery then completely exhausted and teary followed by jitters. The sinus headache I'd had in the late morning drove me to buy some daytime sinus medicine that took me on a rollicking journey of interesting symptoms. I'm still not sure how much of it was the medicine and how much of it was me coming down with something, as I've just awoken, warm and toasty and swaddled in flannel and sweatshirt, from a two-hour nap. Time to put some chicken noodle soup and tea in me, sort...

srah - Thursday, 10 November 2005 - 7:10 PM
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Sort of stream of consciousnessey

I meant to weigh myself before I moved out, so that I could determine whether living on my own would make me fat or make me waste away to even less than I already was. But I didn't. Wow. What a great story. Good thing I'm writing a novel this month, what with all my storytelling skills. Alright, folks, I'm at 813 words and I'm going to bed. There's a drunken clown baking cookies and a very very boring stupid main character and I don't know if it's a murder mystery or a romance or an adventure novel because I...

srah - Tuesday, 1 November 2005 - 9:35 PM
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To whom it may concern:

I do NOT want bird flu. Thank you....

srah - Friday, 21 October 2005 - 9:30 PM
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May cause excitability

Note to self: Do not take 12-hour non-drowsy medications at noon. Especially the day before you have to be ready for interviewing at 8am. *unsleeps*...

srah - Monday, 19 September 2005 - 10:57 PM
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If I'm successful, I may be completely liquid by the end of the day!

For someone with such a wealth of free time, I sure don't use it well. I don' t think I've applied for half as many jobs as Mr B******, who is much busier than I am, and it's not as though I'm bogged down writing my first novel (that's November, hopefully). Instead I just sleep and sit around and read blogs all day. Today I'm trying to be productive. I'm also trying to address another issue that I have: drinking more water. I don't think I drink nearly enough water during the day - it's not something that comes to...

srah - Wednesday, 14 September 2005 - 11:58 AM
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Hannibal the Hornet lies in wait

I have just discovered that I am deathly afraid of bees! Oh boy, another phobia/neurosis to add to the list! There is a member of the bee family in my office. I always lump anything together that is black and yellow and has a stinger attached to it as a "bee" but I think this one may be a hornet. I am basing this on the fact that when it stopped flying around and I got a look at it, it looked exactly like this*, only slightly less cartoonish. I've never been stung by a "bee" and my hypochondria and...

srah - Wednesday, 18 May 2005 - 11:10 AM
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Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiickly

I drank 25 ounces of water in an hour this morning and then blew it all right back out my nose. My body now exists for the sole purpose of generating snot. My evil sinus overlords have allowed me the use of my fingers and part of my brain in order to notify you all that THIS BODY IS NOW UNDER THEIR CONTROL and that once they have used up all of the resources here, they will jump out of their current host and scurry up your leg and glom onto your face like something out of some movie -...

srah - Friday, 25 March 2005 - 1:40 PM
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Mystery Sinus Theatre 2005

One of my most popular posts is the one from about a year ago, wondering about the smell after you sneeze. People are always commenting and emailing me to say that they've smelled it too and to ask if I found the source. Now, after having seen informative videos on how your sinuses work, I'm wondering if what I'm smelling is a buildup of trapped mucus in my sinuses. This still doesn't explain why I only smell it when I sneeze rather than the whole time I'm sick. The mystery continues......

srah - Wednesday, 23 March 2005 - 3:38 PM
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That's no cold... it's a space station

Or a death plague of some sort. Kill me now. Must sleep till Thursday....

srah - Monday, 21 March 2005 - 4:12 PM
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Poetry corner

Ode to my dinner tonight Oh muttar paneer You are made with peas and cheese I have leftovers. Ode to a conversation we had over dinner about Mongolian delicacies I like peas and cheese. I like the two together. I like both of them. I like butter, tea. I like them separate, but Not butter in tea! Ode to yuckiness in a bottle I've just taken some Robitussin to fight off A cold I'm getting. It tastes rather crap. Medicine men, please work hard To make it tasty. It has maken me Jittery - and nauseous too Not really sleepy....

srah - Monday, 21 March 2005 - 3:01 AM
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*hobbles*

I was standing in line at Subway yesterday and when I turned to leave, there was an excruciating pain in my left big toe. All I can think is that I've sprained it or pulled a muscle or that I have some kind of Toe Carpal Tunnel Syndrome from using my toes to push in the clutch while driving. It only hurts when I flex it or when I shift my weight while turning. You might not notice until something like this happens, but you use your toes a lot when you turn! I IMed Alfie and she said she'd...

srah - Wednesday, 16 February 2005 - 9:59 AM
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Coming down with something... possibly... celebrity?

The dog started whining to be let out. I sighed audibly to let him know how annoyed I was that he can't use the toilet like a normal person. I lumbered to a standing position and slumped towards the door, my head cocked to one side and my eyes barely open. I feel, I realized, like Napoleon Dynamite looks. When this happens, it is probably best to go directly to bed....

srah - Friday, 28 January 2005 - 8:06 PM
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Earl Grey, why hath thou forsaken me?

My head hurts. I've just realized that I can't remember drinking any tea since Sunday. I remember boiling the water several times, but I never got to the stage of making or drinking the tea. So this headache may be from withdrawal. I am treating it now. Because of my headache, I have skipped out on a presentation I was going to go to at the Business School. So I put on my Business Casual Grown Up costume for nothing. Bah! Well, I'll have fun looking like a Business Casual Grown Up Laying Around The House And Moaning About Her...

srah - Wednesday, 26 January 2005 - 4:51 PM
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Wasting away again...

I am so conditioned to respond "fine" when someone asks me how I am, that I do so even when I'm not fine. I could be vomiting slugs and someone would ask me how I was and I would say "fiBLEAAAAAAAAAAAAGHne." I am not fine today....

srah - Friday, 7 January 2005 - 12:43 PM
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Why won't this damn work do itself???

Am sick. Am dying. Have so much work to do, so many visiting Englishmen to entertain, so much sleep to get, so much-- *THUNK* I appear to have passed out on the desk. Someone do my work for me while I recover?...

srah - Friday, 22 October 2004 - 10:22 AM
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'Did you get everything you wanted out of this internship?' *SNORT!*

Lack of sleep does strange things to you. It can make you suddenly decide that you HAVE TO UPGRADE MOVABLE TYPE at 8am. It can make you upgrade Movable Type when you're also supposed to be gluing things to your poster. It can make you late for work because you were sticking things to posters and panicking about missing comments when you should have already been at work. It can make you forget to put on deodorant. It can make you go to the bookstore for an emergency deodorant purchase and end up buying chapstick and a vile weird-ass energy...

srah - Wednesday, 20 October 2004 - 11:04 AM
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Neck, glorious neck

Assuming that my shoulders are each 90° from my normal point of vision, I can turn my head about 89° to the left right now and around 50° to the right. Attempts by Mr B------ to massage my neck have been met with whimpers and death threats. I think I slept on it funny. It amuses me because you don't realize how much you use your neck until it is unbearably painful to do so. At least my waist is getting a nice workout from doing all of the turning work. Unfortunately, I look like a total dweeb turning my...

srah - Friday, 5 March 2004 - 6:35 PM
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Bless me!

What is that weird smell after you sneeze? Is it stale air that's been stored in your sinus cavities? Is that the smell of snot? Is it just me?...

srah - Thursday, 26 February 2004 - 11:40 AM
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Ode to the flu (or whatever this is)

Poor little Sarah Have a cup of tea. Wet heaves instead of dry ones. Before: curl up with a good movie. In grad school: curl up with text books. It seems I do have stomach muscles. I know 'cause I feel them spasming....

srah - Monday, 16 February 2004 - 8:24 AM
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The gag reflex leaves me answered with a question mark

"I'm soooooo tiiiiiiiiired," I whined. "You're always tired. Maybe you should take some vitamins or something," suggested Mr B------. No! I don't take vitamins! Vitamins are for people who don't get adequate nutrition from their daily diets. Whereas I eat a very rounded diet of... lentil soup, Junior Mints and bubble tea. Oops. Huh. When did that happen? And more importantly, how have I survived this long? So when I went to the store last night, I stood in front of the multivitamin shelves, bewildered. Where are all of the Flintstones Women's Vitamins? Why don't they have chewable vitamins for...

srah - Saturday, 17 January 2004 - 11:32 AM
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AKA Sleeper

How does Nyquil® work? How does it fix both stuffy and runny noses? Is there an ideal consistency for mucous that it regulates you out to? How does it know what my ideal consistency is? Why does it have to taste so bad? I bet it would be better for me if it tasted good, because I would rinse out the little cup and drink the rinsings, the way I do with Triaminic®, and sort of like that horrible commercial with the woman who drinks salsa-water. Water is good for you! Why does the bottle tell me to take 2...

srah - Sunday, 11 January 2004 - 1:47 AM
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Woe is srah

*sniffle* *SNORT!* *sigh* *sniffle* *gack hack hack hack* *moan* *sniffle* *SNORT!* *blow nose* *sniffle* That is all. As you were....

srah - Saturday, 10 January 2004 - 10:18 PM
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Real* Stories of the Doctor's Office

I finally went to the doctor to have my malady checked out. I expressed my concerns to the nurse that it could be an infection or pinkeye or a scratch on my eye or Mad Cow Disease or encephalitis or zombiism. She took a look at the inside of my eyelid and decided that irrigation was in order. When I hear irrigation, I think about things like redirecting the Nile in order to water crops. This is clearly the same image that she had, as she seems to have redirected the Nile into my eye. She threw me down on...

srah - Monday, 5 January 2004 - 2:22 PM
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Ye'll walk the plank, Scott Baio!!!1

My eye itches. It feels like there's a foreign object in there, but there are none to be found. I'm hoping that it's just irritated from me fiddling around while looking for an eyelash earlier, and that after a good night's sleep, everything will be fine in the morning. Let's all hold hands and think positive thoughts, shall we? But before we do any handholding, perhaps I ought to wash my hands first, just in case it is, as my hypochondriac self is wont to believe, pinkeye. I am hoping it's something that will necessitate an eyepatch. I would buy...

srah - Saturday, 3 January 2004 - 11:31 PM
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srah's tale of Christmastime woe

I have moved this post to the extension because, seriously? Who posted this? I am warning you right now that it's a vast puddle of Too Much Information......

srah - Friday, 26 December 2003 - 12:43 PM
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Christmas dinner, revisited

"I have spent so much time shopping, wrapping and cleaning that I haven't had more than a cup of soup in over 24 hours. I was at the point where I was so hungry it made me nauseous to think of food." Yeah, srah? That wasn't starvation; that was the flu. Bleaaaaaaargh. You are all invited to my funeral....

srah - Thursday, 25 December 2003 - 11:18 PM
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My ADDled mind

I joked about having paper-writing ADD the other day, but it's got me thinking: What if I do have Attention Deficit Disorder? Why am I thinking this? Is it because Katie was recently diagnosed so I want to have it too? Is it because I'm a terrible hypochondriac and always decide that I have every disease I read about? Is it because it sounds like such a trendy disorder to have? Is it because I want an excuse for being scatter-brained? Is it just because I'm mentally exhausted right now and I'll be fine once I can catch up on...

srah - Saturday, 6 December 2003 - 4:15 PM
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Tales from srah's bladder

Warning: this post should not be read by... anyone....

srah - Friday, 24 October 2003 - 2:27 PM
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Don't poke me

I have a doctor's appointment this afternoon and for the test they want to do, I have to have to drink 32 oz. of water through the course of the morning and show up with a full bladder. The stupid thing is that the test has nothing to do with my bladder. But anyway, I'm shooting for drinking a bottle of water an hour, starting at 8 and finishing by 12. Just don't make me laugh....

srah - Friday, 24 October 2003 - 8:15 AM
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The glowest eye

WARNING: Not for anyone who didn't like that one part in the pirate movie. On Friday I was putting my contacts in and my eye felt funny. So I went to take the left one out and only half of it came out. I dug around and dug around, trying to find the other half, then decided that it had probably fallen out in my digging and I hadn't noticed it. Because I wear disposable contacts, they're always getting lost in the putting-in/taking-out processes - falling onto the floor, sticking to my clothes, falling into the sink - and I...

srah - Tuesday, 9 September 2003 - 6:03 PM
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Doctor my eyes

I went to the ophthalmologist today. I swear it's true. If anyone tries to tell you lies about why my pupils are the size of my entire head, don't believe them. It's really because I went to the eye doctor. My eyes are starting to readjust now, but the computer screen still looks like a crazy kaleidoscope of moving colors. Also, there are furry pink lobsters crawling all over my skin and the disembodied head of Martha Stewart keeps singing Gregorian chants to me and periodically bursting into flames. Come to think of it, what's in those eye drops?...

srah - Thursday, 14 August 2003 - 1:34 PM
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Conversation in my mind

Little Srah: Cough cough cough hack HACK HACK! Moooan... The Governor: (raps cane on the floor) Come now. See here, girl. What's that I hear? Another Miscellaneous Character: Oi finks it's the croup, guv'nor. Li'l srah won't be wif us come Christmas, oi dare say. The Governor: Oh well. (peers disdainfully through pince nez) She was always too small and weakly to be of any good to us in the poorhouse, and too young to be selling herself on the streets. Best she goes now, really. One less mouth to feed. In other words, I think I'm coming down with...

srah - Monday, 11 August 2003 - 11:38 PM
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Ye'll walk the plank, ye scurvy dogs!

To celebrate Becky's birthday, we went to see Pirates of the Caribbean again. Watching all of the credits like a true member of my family, I found my calling: pirate dialect coach. Not a dialect coach for pirates in movies, of course, nor dialect coach for the Pittsburgh Pirates. I'll sail the seven seas, teaching novice pirates to sound more authentic. In other news, I decided I was tired because I was dehydrated, so I've been drinking vast (avast!) amounts of water today. It hasn't helped so far, so I've decided that since I can't remember the last time I...

srah - Tuesday, 29 July 2003 - 12:07 PM
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It might be fun to have claws

I'm dying. I think my arms are going to fall off, or just shrivel up into little claws. I am convinced, as I am every summer, that I have carpal tunnel syndrome. I probably just slept on my arms or something....

srah - Friday, 13 June 2003 - 5:08 PM
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Feed a cold, feed allergies

It could be a cold. It is a possibility. But I think my eyes are a bit too itchy for a cold. Anyway, at this point, I would kill for a Cantal-and-butter baguette sandwich. But why must it come to that? Feed me, and save humanity....

srah - Tuesday, 27 May 2003 - 10:49 AM
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*Sniffle*

I am allergic to spending weekends with my family. I am allergic to the evil dog. I am allergic to my boyfriend going to Lake Michigan while I go to cemetaries. I am allergic to Movable Type. I am allergic to tissues. I am allergic to myself. I am allergic to you. I am full of theories. And snot....

srah - Tuesday, 27 May 2003 - 8:40 AM
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Sarah Sarah über alles

I have declared myself la reine des mouchoirs, due to my constant sniffling and nose-blowing. I have invited Andrés to be le roi, as he is the latest victim of the Vichy Death Plague and we sniffled and suffered together all weekend, surely infecting everyone else. I also declared myself Emperor of Germany, but that's just because I'm insane....

srah - Thursday, 10 April 2003 - 5:37 AM
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Well? Who needs to get well?

I am off to Aurillac again this evening, to spend some bonding time with my fellow assistants before we are cruelly torn apart by the Fates. Hopefully I will come up with something to do in class on Thursday while I am there. Hopefully I will get some sleep and my cold will get better - or at least not any worse. Hopefully my little friends will all sign my cahier de souvenirs and we will dance and joyously sing. Or something. Goodbye and I'll blog to you on Thursday....

srah - Tuesday, 8 April 2003 - 4:09 AM
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More drug-crazed ramblings

At least I realize they're drug-crazed ramblings. That's something, at least. In between sending telegrams to The Front (textos to Renata), my other personality, the Major-General, has come up with the observation that girls are like cats and boys are like dogs. Or maybe it was me who came up with that. It's so crowded in there, it's hard to tell. Anyway, between the two (or seventeen, or however many there are) of us, we have managed to forget the evidence to support our claim, except that boys are often less complicated and more eager and drool a lot more....

srah - Saturday, 5 April 2003 - 7:21 AM
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What ho!

I don't believe in silverware. Especially when I'm sick. It's soup bowls to mouths for the duration, laddies! Has anyone else noticed that these drugs seem to have turned me into a British officer from a WWII movie? I better not run into Stefan or Johanna until I've recovered, or I might feel obliged to "stick it to the Jerries." Whatever that means. Toodle-oo, chaps!...

srah - Saturday, 5 April 2003 - 7:01 AM
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Lunchtime... or the munchies?

I sink I am a widdle dwugged out by the Fervex. It may be, however, that I want to be drugged out and am making myself think that I am. Intewesting....

srah - Saturday, 5 April 2003 - 6:39 AM
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Much improved

I'm feeling better now. I now have some semblance of a will to live. I still have a sore throat, cough, and stuffed-up ears, but I don't feel like fainting or throwing up, and I'm not alternating chills and overheating. My headache is gone and the sensitivity of my arm and leg hairs has returned to normal (zero, unless you're pulling on them). Also, the sun is shining. This may have made a difference. It's harder to want to continue living when you're living in grey, windy nastiness....

srah - Friday, 4 April 2003 - 6:59 AM
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's only a flesh wound

I am very disappointed in myself for leaving work today. I left Véronique a note and took off because I was not getting any better and all I would do was stare blankly into space, trying not to fall over. I don't know if it's the Protestant Work Ethic or what, but I was disappointed in myself for not being able to work through it. This is the first time I've left work for health reasons - I even came in earlier in the year when I was shivery and nauseous and faint. I don't like to let anyone down,...

srah - Thursday, 3 April 2003 - 1:55 PM
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Don't leave the hypochondriac alone with her imagination

A peculiar symptom of the plague or whatever it is I have is very sensitive arm and leg hairs. I am most likely insane. Can I take my pants off yet? Mommy has very kindly put ideas of SARS into my head, so now I have malaria, consumption, plague, and SARS. Lucky girl....

srah - Thursday, 3 April 2003 - 1:47 PM
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I am dying

Don't get too attached to me. I am convinced I have ague. Or consumption. Or just hypothermia, because they seem to think that because there are no students, they don't need to heat the building. I am wearing my coat and scarf, but no one else seems to be as cold as I am. Unhealthy. Mommmmmyyyyyy......

srah - Thursday, 3 April 2003 - 5:23 AM
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Beautiful sentiment

Excerpted from a texto from Andrês received today: thanks for existing Srah I think that's one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me. It's very nice to be thanked, not for anything you consciously did, but just for existing. Now I feel all warm and fuzzy. And shivery and phlegmy, but that's my cold....

srah - Thursday, 3 April 2003 - 2:17 AM
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Bleargh

I'm sick and I don't know if I'm going to be able to last the whole day. You don't want details, but it involves choking on a lot of snot....

srah - Thursday, 3 April 2003 - 1:32 AM
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Wasting away to nothing

Would you hate me if I told you that one of my big problems at the moment seems to be that I've lost weight? I don't remember this happening in Grenoble, but these days my pants seem to hang a bit lower, which means I have to cuff them, then I keep stepping on the cuffs and I have to yank them up so as not to expose my underpants. Whereas other people try diet after diet, I have never had any desire to lose weight, and here I am with what butt I had rapidly disappearing. Thus I bring...

srah - Monday, 27 January 2003 - 6:39 AM
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La Malade Imaginaire

I decided when I woke up this morning that now, instead of food poisoning or the Vichy Death Plague, I had either pleuresy or pneumonia. But I feel better now, thankyouverymuch....

srah - Thursday, 19 December 2002 - 10:20 AM
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During a brief respite from the vomit...

Am self-diagnosed as having either food poisoning or the Vichy Death Plague. Am proud of myself for going to work this morning, despite feeling weak, exhausted, hot, cold, and nauseous, but also think myself rather insane. Am stuffing self with juice and crackers in effort to restore nutrients. Do not like being sick alone, but think that in some ways, it is better than being sick and needy....

srah - Tuesday, 17 December 2002 - 2:00 PM
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I can't get no satisfaction

Today was a day of halves and not-quites. I had my visite medicale in Clermont-Ferrand, beginning with the lung x-ray at 2pm. I left Vichy at 12:00 because the next train was at 1:07 and wouldn't get me to Clermont until 1:40. I was concerned that I would not have enough time to find the office if I arrived with twenty minutes to spare. So I arrived at 12:40 instead, looked at my convocation to see the address of the radiography center, and discovered that my appointment was at 2:30, so I was wandering around Clermont for two hours for...

srah - Wednesday, 11 December 2002 - 3:21 PM
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Enrhumée

Went up to school this afternoon for my weekly Spanish class, only to find that my classmates were having their conseil de classe and their class was cancelled. Walked home in the cold and believe I caught one. Chicken noodle soup and tea for dinner ce soir, then an early bedtime. We can fight this, as we have nothing better to do....

srah - Friday, 6 December 2002 - 12:57 PM
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Reasons teachers miss school: la crève and la grève

I've decided I'm coming down with something and I fear it may be la crève, which has been going around school all week. So I will just hole up and nap and have hot tea and clementines all day so I can be healthy for my first day of Real Classes....

srah - Sunday, 13 October 2002 - 10:38 AM
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Dribble

I drooled all over myself at the dentist's office again today, when I went in to have cavities filled. Now I'm trying not to dribble soup all over myself. There was something seriously wrong with our computer records. First, our last name was the only-slightly different yet completely unpronounceable "Nc Nitt". The address that the dentist's office had for our family was also a little out of date. Pretty interesting, actually, since I've lived in the same house all of my life. In fact, the address they had on record was at least TWENTY-FOUR YEARS out of date because it...

srah - Thursday, 5 September 2002 - 4:21 PM
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Drug dealer

Last week, when I was sick, I made an appointment my mommy made me an appointment at the doctor's office. I couldn't get in until today, and I'm better today. But I figured I'd better go in anyway, just in case. Some background information: I hate my doctor's office. It's actually two offices, full of staff. I've never talked to the same staff member twice, and I'm convinced they don't keep any kind of records or charts on us, because I have to answer the same questions and fill out the same forms every time I'm there. They also screwed...

srah - Tuesday, 3 September 2002 - 4:15 PM
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An apple a day...

Today is my day of doctors' appointments. Oh joy. I started out the day at 8:50 with a trip to the dentist. I pulled up, went into the building, and got into the frighteningly bright yellow elevator. These are the times I wish I had a digital camera. I always feel like I'm going crazy in that elevator and today was no exception. I got in and was given a choice between two floors: 1 and LL. Since the dentist's office is upstairs, I decided that that would be 1. I pushed it and nothing happened. The doors didn't close,...

srah - Tuesday, 3 September 2002 - 1:21 PM
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Snort!

My dad doesn't have allergy problems. My mom has prescription medicine for it. So whose medicine did I end up taking last night? The dog's. The dog takes people-medicine, so it's not quite as strange as all that, but I feel funny taking medicine that was bought for the dog....

srah - Thursday, 29 August 2002 - 8:20 AM
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Achoo!

I am snotty today, in more ways than my usual one. Ew. Like you needed to know that. Like my future self, wishing to know what I was like in 2002, needed to know that. Why am I still writing?...

srah - Wednesday, 28 August 2002 - 10:42 AM
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It was nice blogging atcha

I have suddenly come down with a case of allergies or something. It's probably West Nile Disease. Oh well. Bye....

srah - Tuesday, 27 August 2002 - 10:48 AM
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Melodramatic srah

I have drowned myself, attempting to drink from the drinking fountain. I had it set to the right height, then when I leaned, my hand leaned with me and turned it up. I can feel the water seeping around my respiratory system. I don't expect myself to live much longer. Goodbye, cruel world....

srah - Wednesday, 21 August 2002 - 4:27 PM
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"I'm not dead yet! I don't want to go on the cart!"

I had a doctor's appointment and some blood tests the week before last. When I was ready to leave, the receptionist told me that they would call me within five days and if they didn't call me, I should call them. What kind of thing is that to say? It's a sure sign that they're not going to call. Don't do that. Don't tell me you're incompetent - leave me to figure it out on my own. So I finally called today. "Ann Arbor Necrology, please hold," I heard. What? Am I going to die?, I thought, have they recognized...

srah - Wednesday, 31 July 2002 - 11:58 AM
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TEETH!

I think I've been grinding my teeth. Not at night, that I know of, but during the day. I don't realize it until I stop, then I go "Darn it, I was doing it again." I went to look in the mirror and see if I could see any evidence of grinding-damage, but I don't know anything about teeth, so I couldn't tell. Maybe I'm just clenching my jaw. While I was looking, I counted my teeth. I have 24. How many teeth do you have?...

srah - Tuesday, 30 July 2002 - 2:39 PM
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Disease and deprivation stalk our land like... two giant stalking things

I think I have carpal tunnel syndrome. Or leprosy. Or termites. Am I, an hourly worker, entitled to Worker's Comp? What is Worker's Comp, anyway? Is it something I would want to have? My arm hurts! And while we're on the subject, "I doubt that there are few people in the United States who have never heard of carpal tunnel syndrome.". I love a good professionally-designed website, me....

srah - Wednesday, 24 July 2002 - 11:54 AM
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Nerd injury

My fingers and wrists are sore. I know it's probably because of the bad positioning of the keyboard at this computer, but I can't help but think it's because I'm back at work, typing all day long, after five weeks off. I'm OUT OF SHAPE. I think I pulled something....

srah - Monday, 22 July 2002 - 1:36 PM
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Uneven=odd?

The hem of my right jeans leg is just fine, but the hem of the left one is unraveling and turning to threads. Yesterday I kept stepping on it for some reason. I think my right leg must be longer than my left one. I think everyone probably has some difference between the two, but I've never noticed it before. Anyone else out there have any interesting physical asymmetry?...

srah - Friday, 29 March 2002 - 10:29 AM
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Sneezy

For about the past half an hour, I've had that feeling where you're about to sneeze but you don't. Owwwww. Bah. Thought you'd care....

srah - Thursday, 28 March 2002 - 11:55 AM
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Stars! Stars everywhere!

You know the phrase "seeing stars"? Have you ever actually had that happen to you? It's happening to me right now and I'm not sure why. Maybe I sat down too fast. Maybe I have a brain tumor. Troubling....

srah - Wednesday, 27 March 2002 - 1:44 PM
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Exercise? Wazzat?

I really ought to do something active once in a while in some kind of effort to "get into shape". I know, I'm giggling too. It's not that I need it in terms of physical appearance, but I really ought to be able to brush my hair without breaking a sweat. I should take up *snort* jogging or something and take some time away from vegetating in front of the computer. No, I just want to get rid of my body altogether. I can't wait until they create bionic bodies. I want to put my brain in a machine and...

srah - Sunday, 24 March 2002 - 2:04 PM
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Just for the record

If you want me to make plans for Friday May 23, 2070 at 3:24:50 PM, I'm sorry but I won't be able to make it. I'll be busy dying. Your average life span is: 90 years old. By modifying your Health, Lifestyle, Diet and Environment you can live to be: 101 years old. You were born on Tuesday, August 26, 1980. You have lived 7,877 days and have 24,900 days left to live. Lets make them count! You should die on Friday May 23, 2070 at 3:24:50 PM. [via The Storm Brewing]...

srah - Thursday, 21 March 2002 - 3:07 PM
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srah would like a massage for Valentine's Day

Should I be concerned that I have a horrible shooting pain in my upper back whenever I try to take a deep breath? I'm going to bed and it's going to disappear by morning. It had better, or I'm kicking my back's ass....

srah - Thursday, 14 February 2002 - 1:51 AM
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Seeing Things

Today's post titles all begin with letters down at the bottom of the alphabet. I am such a nerd for noticing that. I'm wearing my contacts today for the second day in a row. Before yesterday, I hadn't worn them for over a month because one of the side-effects of Alesse is the very vague possible difficulty wearing contact lenses. What does difficulty mean? That they will roll back into your head and give you a blood clot in your brain? That your eyes will dry up and you won't be able to get them out? I was scared but...

srah - Friday, 8 February 2002 - 5:55 PM
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Don't sit down

I got this as an email forward. I don't know if any of it is true, but it sounds nasty enough to be fact. During Autumn of 2000, a team of scientists at the Department of Forensics at University College London removed a row of passenger seats from a Central Line tube carriage for analysis into cleanliness. Despite London Underground's claim that the interior of their trains are cleaned on a regular basis, the scientists made some alarming discoveries. The analysis was broken down. This is what was found on the surface of the seats: 4 types of hair sample...

srah - Friday, 1 February 2002 - 11:26 AM
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That's right!

That's right! Krista reminds me that there is a terrible chicken pox epidemic spreading across campus. Or maybe three cases. When I went to the doctor earlier this month, I saw a sign about chicken pox vaccines, which really upset me. Why didn't I get a chicken pox vaccine? If I had to suffer through it, I think today's kiddies should have to, too. Spread the pain around. Heh heh....

srah - Saturday, 26 January 2002 - 12:06 AM
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I'm siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick...

I'm siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick. But better now. Don't know if it's the medication, or what. Jillian is shaky and weak too, so maybe it's something contagious instead. Looking on the bright side. :)...

srah - Saturday, 12 January 2002 - 7:12 PM
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Alesse Day 3

Alesse Day 3: Thank you for your concern, loyal fans standing outside the I-House. Day two went okay and day three has, so far. No body parts falling off or anything, so la de dah. I'm not nauseous anymore - knock on wood - and as far as I can tell, it hasn't affected me emotionally. But I suppose I wouldn't really notice. If I'm having violent mood swings, you'd better tell me....

srah - Wednesday, 9 January 2002 - 4:19 PM
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Alesse Day 2

Alesse Day 2: Okay, now we're really testing. I was not jittery or anything before I took the second pill, just a moment ago. I can blame nothing on Nyquil. Results to arrive later in day....

srah - Tuesday, 8 January 2002 - 9:08 AM
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I woke up early again

I woke up early again today. Nose issues. Waking up=bad....

srah - Tuesday, 8 January 2002 - 8:09 AM
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Alesse Day 1 (cont.)

Alesse Day 1 (cont.): Patient is tired and zoning out. Thoughts a bit muddled and confused and jittery. Patient is also a bit nauseous on and off. However, this may not be the Alesse, but rather last night's Nyquil or restless sleep. Am confused. Will wait and see. Patient also feels anxious, but this may be related to threat of impending DEATH that patient has imagined will be side-effect of new medication. Patient should probably forget about body-medication and get some for mental problems....

srah - Monday, 7 January 2002 - 1:41 PM
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Alesse Day 1

Alesse Day 1: I took the first pill nearly ten minutes ago and so far am showing no symptoms of Death, besides my normal "corpse-like pallor"/"computer tan". This is a good thing....

srah - Monday, 7 January 2002 - 8:54 AM
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Ach, ah cannae sleep

Ach, ah cannae sleep. Fairst the droogs made me sleepy, ahnd thain they made me jittery ahnd irritable. Ah dinnae think, hooever, tha' i's the droogs thaht gave me this bad Scottish accent......

srah - Monday, 7 January 2002 - 7:23 AM
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Ahhh. I gave it another try...

Ahhh. I gave it another try and it went right down. TAKE THAT, Nyquil. Why isn't there more chewable medicine for people like me? They Might Be Giants have a song about someone driving after taking Nyquil. They had to call it AKA Driver rather than Nyquil Driver in order to avoid lawsuits. Tomorrow I go back to classes. I am looking forward to tomorrow... it's just all the days after that that aren't quite as exciting....

srah - Sunday, 6 January 2002 - 11:38 PM
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I am in the process...

I am in the process of trying to swallow a Nyquil liquicap. I got the first one down after a couple of gags, but the second one refuses to be swallowed. It seems to be happy in my mouth and doesn't want to die. Right now, it is sitting on top of my juice box and grinning at me evilly. Damn you, Nyquil, damn you....

srah - Sunday, 6 January 2002 - 11:36 PM
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I'm siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick...

I'm siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick. Our room is rearranged and looks very nice. Good day to you....

srah - Sunday, 6 January 2002 - 11:16 PM
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I was going to go on...

I was going to go on and on yesterday about my car and how I thought it was frozen to the garage floor, but I don't particularly feel like it anymore. Maybe when I get back to school. I had a physical yesterday. According to the doctor, I am 5'2". My theory is that I drank a lot of water and expanded. Or that whole you're-taller-in-the-morning-and-gradually-shrink-as-the-day-goes-on thing. You know, that thing. The doctor thinks (stop reading here, you're really not going to care and if you do, I'd be concerned) that I have estrogen problems and is putting me on...

srah - Friday, 4 January 2002 - 12:47 PM
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One of my biggest fans

One of my biggest fans wants stories. So here's a story for you, B.L. The Story Of What I Did Yesterday by srah Yesterday I woke up and still had a sore throat. In fact, I couldn't even talk. But I had a cup of tea and then I could talk again. Ooh ahh. I wrapped myself up in a blanket, didn't shower or get dressed, and watched movies all day, including Mr Roberts, which was very disappointing because I expect zaniness and humor in my Jack Lemmon movies, and the extras on the Monty Python and the Holy Grail...

srah - Wednesday, 2 January 2002 - 3:33 PM
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I suppose you were not aware...

I suppose you were not aware of the Seamy Drug Culture of the Room of Sarahs. I'm afraid I must admit that under the current stress of the Finals Week situation, the inhabitants of our room are presently partaking of a variety of substances, including Vitamin C, multivitamins, calcium, Extra Strength Tylenol [tm], tea, chicken soup, and a purple Taz vitamin. I bought real grown-up vitamins, but it turns out my delicate gag reflex won't let me swallow them. Poor baby....

srah - Tuesday, 4 December 2001 - 3:37 PM
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There is a piece of tape

There is a piece of tape on my desk and I feel compelled to pick at it. I can't stop myself. I had to replace the piece of tape - which is covering a place where the fauxmica (I don't know what these desks are made of, so I've called the material "fauxmica") has disappeared so as to prevent it from snagging my sleeve - because I picked the first one all the way off. I live with a psych major, and thus have decided that this tape-picking phenomenon is due to some mysterious psychological disorder that has not yet...

srah - Tuesday, 6 November 2001 - 3:46 PM
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I have such a headache

I have such a headache. I feel like ripping my head off my neck and throwing it in the ocean and living as a headless hermit for the rest of my days. I'm going to sleep as soon as I finish this blog and I want to sleep until I wake up. And then I want to sleep some more. Funny joke told to me by Bob at lunch: There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin, "Isn't it hot in here?" The other muffin says, "Oh my god, a talking muffin!" Hmmm. Perhaps...

srah - Wednesday, 31 October 2001 - 2:27 PM
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