23 entries from srah blah blah tagged with 'readers' choice':


A List of My Favorite Fictional Dennises... in order... of preference

Let me know if I've forgotten anyone! Dennis the Menace (Not menacing at all!)Dennis Blunden, Head of the ClassDennis Nedry, Jurassic ParkDennis Finch, Just Shoot MeDennis "Slutbanger" Duffy, 30 Rock (Pro: Rarely wants to do it; Con: Not super smart)Dennis the Head Shaman, The Mighty BooshDennis the Mud Farmer-slash-Political Philosopher, Monty Python and the Holy Grail Click below to find out who's #1! Is the suspense killing you yet? It is......

srah - Tuesday, 11 March 2008 - 7:10 PM
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The Most Exciting Thing That Happened to Me Over Break, by Srah, age Seven (or in the style thereof)

The most exciting thing that happened to me over break was when I lost my hat. It was a red hat. It was windy when I lost my hat. My hat flew right off my head! I could not chase my hat because my hat was blown away. My hat plus the wind equals faster than me. I hope a homeless person finds my hat and my hat keeps the homeless person's head warm. It is a good hat. I miss my hat. The End....

srah - Wednesday, 2 January 2008 - 12:49 PM
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I'm just a girl who cain't say no

One really exciting thing about the writers' strike is that I will be freed from my enslavement to the TV. Once they run out of new episodes, I won't have to worry about what to watch and what to tape and what to watch or not watch online. I started to think, at first, that this would be a really exciting time for me, so that instead of this¹:   Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday 8 Shouty Man Shouting Into a Megaphone Shoutily (ABC) The Barney and Marshall Show, Also With Other Characters (CBS) A Very Special "Social...

srah - Saturday, 17 November 2007 - 4:14 PM
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Aaaaand there goes Miss Gulch on a bicycle

There is a strong low pressure system moving through the area today. It started out as a very windy day and has now turned into a very windy day with ominous dark clouds overhead. No, the clouds aren't really ominous. The sky today can be better described as evil. "Ominous" suggests that the clouds are saying, "You'd better look out or you're going to get rained on" or "Guess what? We're bringing an ice storm your way." These clouds are saying, "You'd better hope you're good at dodging entire trees as they come whipping towards your head at 50mph, sucka,...

srah - Friday, 1 December 2006 - 12:50 PM
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Hannibal the Hornet lies in wait

I have just discovered that I am deathly afraid of bees! Oh boy, another phobia/neurosis to add to the list! There is a member of the bee family in my office. I always lump anything together that is black and yellow and has a stinger attached to it as a "bee" but I think this one may be a hornet. I am basing this on the fact that when it stopped flying around and I got a look at it, it looked exactly like this*, only slightly less cartoonish. I've never been stung by a "bee" and my hypochondria and...

srah - Wednesday, 18 May 2005 - 11:10 AM
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'You are on this council, but we do not grant you the title of Master.' 'What? Hells no, biatch!'

Srahfamily sat around the TV this evening and sacrificed our souls and our eyes through fifteen minutes of The O.C. in order to catch the Star Wars: Episode III (I've forgotten the title of this piece of garbage) trailer. From what I can tell, this episode in the series is going to be a tale of disappointment. Obi-Wan's disappointment that Anakin is not The Chosen One Who Will Bring Balance To The Force. Anakin's disappointment that he's not made a Jedi Master. Samuel L. Jackson's disappointment that he's gonna die. And, of course, last but not least, your disappointment and...

srah - Thursday, 10 March 2005 - 9:45 PM
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'He's a mild and lazy guy!'

Justin and I are going to make the epic cinematic masterpiece Srah, The Flying Pig. And when I say Justin and I are going to make it, I mean "Justin mostly ignored me as I went insane planning this horrible horrible movie." Justin is an up-and-coming young director and I'm going to hitch a ride on that star no matter how many times he tries to pry my fingers loose. The baddie is Richard Simmons in goth makeup, platform shoes and with chartreuse horns that he claims are fuchsia. The title role will be played by Christopher Walken in a...

srah - Tuesday, 6 April 2004 - 11:35 PM
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Perhaps this is where try comes in...

We were learning about throwing and catching exceptions in my Java class today and it got me thinking... what the heck kind of nerds were the first Java programmers? Throw and catch? If they were any kind of real nerds, we would have been learning about throw and getHitOnTheHead. Or maybe parryWithAPlasticRenaissanceFestivalSword and runAWAAAAAAAAY!....

srah - Tuesday, 9 March 2004 - 10:26 PM
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Now I lay me down to sleep/ I guess I'll go count the sheep

(upon finishing my Java programming homework) Mr B------: As President Clinton said, Mission Accomplished! srah: When did he say that? Mr B------: Well, he didn't. But his banner did, when he was on a boat. (long pause) srah: Did you mean President Bush? Mr B------: Huh? srah: You said President Clinton. Mr B------: Oh. srah: You meant President George Clinton. Mr B------: He has the distinction of being the only president who had a Parliament....

srah - Tuesday, 9 March 2004 - 12:10 AM
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Love and sympathy from The Fam

Me: My Becky is home! (they embrace) Alfie: Did you blog? Me: Nooooo. (Alfie pushes me away) Alfie: No hugging until you blog! Me: I need hugs to blog! (srahmom tries to hug me, Alfie pushes her away) srahdad: I'll hug you. (hugs me and spins me around. And around. And around.) me: Ahhhhh! I'm being squished! And my toes are being stepped on! And now I'm dizzy! (they stop spinning) Alfie: Well, at least if you throw up in the middle of the kitchen, you'll have something to blog about....

srah - Saturday, 7 February 2004 - 11:52 AM
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Pitcher's got a big butt! Pitcher's got a big butt!

My sister is cleaning out her room in preparation for the arrival of The Argentine and has stumbled across a jackpot of blackmail material. It was 1993 and Rookie of the Year had just come out. I was thirteen, for god's sake! Yes, okay, I liked Thomas Ian Nicholas a little bit. Yes, okay, maybe a little more than a little bit. I may, technically, have had, like, 18 million posters of him. I may, technically, have bought hundreds of thousands of teenybopper magazines during my middle school years and decorated my school binders with pictures of him. Or I...

srah - Friday, 16 January 2004 - 9:51 PM
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Yelp!

Dear Girl Who Lives in My House, Why are you always stepping on me? You must be getting old and blind and senile, because you should always know where I am; I am right next to your feet. Or lying across the doorway when you come out of the shower with fogged-up glasses. Or standing in the middle of the hallway as the teakettle is whistling or the phone is ringing. Seriously, you'd think you'd catch on after a while! Geez, sometimes I even help you out by walking in the same direction you're going, in such a way that...

srah - Tuesday, 13 January 2004 - 10:12 AM
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Comparrrrrrrrrrrison shopping

My parents pored over the newspaper ads this weekend, looking for the best deal on the Pirates of the Caribbean DVD. Some people would consider the "best deal" to be the lowest price. But that would really not be enough for my family. We have elected to purchase our wares from our local Media Play store, because they are giving away free pirate flags with every copy. Sometimes I worry that the dorkiness running through my veins is so thick I'm going to get blood clots and have a nerdeurysm....

srah - Tuesday, 2 December 2003 - 8:14 AM
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Sudden burst of insanity

There is an invisible eagle on my shoulder. His name is Falcor. Would you like to pet him? He likes attention. What? You don't want to pet him? Don't worry; he won't bite. He's a nice birdie. What? C'mon. Just pet him. You know you want to. Oh yeah? Well maybe Falcor doesn't want you to pet him, anyway. Maybe he's too good for you. Hmph. Yes he does! STROKE HIM! STROKE MY EAGLE!...

srah - Monday, 24 November 2003 - 4:36 PM
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Ahoy there, me hearties!

Apparently, I am getting a reputation. Around my family, anyway. I hope it hasn't started spreading around school, because then I'll never have a moment's peace. I have this reputation for, you know, doing it with all of the boys of my acquaintance. In my defense, it was only with two boys! (This weekend, anyway). And I've done it with plenty of girls, too, you know. I'm not particular! And it wasn't that great, because once we kept getting interrupted by trick-or-treaters and the other time, my family was in the next room. So I have all of these wonderful...

srah - Sunday, 2 November 2003 - 6:17 PM
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He is... he said

I have started two separate conversations today with the question "Are you Neil Diamond?" This would be a perfectly understandable and normal question if the person were Neil Diamond, but neither of the people I've addressed happened to be. So I just sound insane. The search continues... Who are you? Update: Four. And still unsuccessful. I only have one suspect left....

srah - Tuesday, 21 October 2003 - 4:48 PM
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Today's best spam email

FROM: "Marilou Barcelo" <bluestellmw@msn.com> DATE: Sat, 27 Sep 2003 04:24:24 GMT SUBJECT: anglophobia Endorsed by doctors world wide! Lose up to 82% of your unwanted body fat and keep it off in just a few months! Will anglophilia help me gain weight, then? I love you, Jez....

srah - Saturday, 27 September 2003 - 10:10 AM
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Unfounded (?) sense of loss

I keep losing everything close to me. Boy, that sounds like the beginning of a really depressing blog-post. But this is not that kind of blog, folks! Let's start again. I keep losing all of my crap. That sounds more like me - and more familiar, too. My archives are lined with stories of me losing things - tales that I would quite annoyingly link to if I could find them in the mess that is my MT archives. Sometimes I find the lost objects again, but mostly I don't. In a conversation with Jez this morning, we* decided to...

srah - Wednesday, 20 August 2003 - 8:39 AM
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Conversation in my mind

Little Srah: Cough cough cough hack HACK HACK! Moooan... The Governor: (raps cane on the floor) Come now. See here, girl. What's that I hear? Another Miscellaneous Character: Oi finks it's the croup, guv'nor. Li'l srah won't be wif us come Christmas, oi dare say. The Governor: Oh well. (peers disdainfully through pince nez) She was always too small and weakly to be of any good to us in the poorhouse, and too young to be selling herself on the streets. Best she goes now, really. One less mouth to feed. In other words, I think I'm coming down with...

srah - Monday, 11 August 2003 - 11:38 PM
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Guardians of culinary justice

Yesterday, going to Dominicks, we went to park in a parking structure. A maniac in a red car came careening around the corner in the structure, heading right at us, and I yelped and pointed, OH MY GOD WE'RE GOING TO DIE IS THAT A PIZZA ON HIS ROOF? Robin braked out of fear, the driver reacted and pulled to the right, and disaster was avoided. The crazy driver saw me pointing and stopped his car next to ours. We pointed at the top of his car. "There's a pizza on your roof," we informed him. He rolled down his...

srah - Saturday, 9 August 2003 - 2:29 PM
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The makings of a bad day

Tout ce dont j'ai envie, c'est de me jeter par terre en pleine milieu du couloir et de rester là jusqu'à la fin de la journée....

srah - Thursday, 20 March 2003 - 3:37 AM
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The fireman cometh

The doorbell rings at Villa Montcalm. Srah, living on the rez-de-chaussée and thus being the only one who can hear the doorbell, goes to answer it. "Good evening," says the man at the door, wearing a fireman's coat, "The firemen have come to present their calendar." Srah wonders what her reaction should be. "Okay," she replies dumbly. "Are your parents at home?" asks the fireman. Srah wonders how much younger her pigtails make her look. "This is an apartment building," she explains, realizing even as she says it that it explains nothing and has nothing to do with anything and...

srah - Wednesday, 18 December 2002 - 1:39 PM
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These boots weren't made for walking

Come to France, bored and lonely, if you're looking to lose a few pounds. Or a few inches of shoe leather for that matter. I have nothing to do so I just walk around downtown, searching the feet of passers-by for American-looking shoes....

srah - Thursday, 26 September 2002 - 5:03 PM
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