American Booty

This is America.

I believe that as citizens, green card holders, student visa holders, illegal aliens and tourists of this great country, we are endowed with certain inalienable* rights, not the least of which is the Right To Wear Underwear That Fits, Particularly If You Are Wearing Tight, Ass-Hugging Pants.

And yet so many of my fellow Americans** do not exercise this right and instead inflict upon their countrymen the sight of half of their butt bulging out the bottom of too-tight, too-small underwear.

Why do you never hear the candidates discussing the issues that really matter to me? I'm going to have to run myself. I'm forming my own party - one that cares about my issues.

Vote srah for the Bulgy-Ass Rectification for the Future party***!

–––––
* Or "unalienable," if you are John Adams. And if you are John Adams, please leave a comment, because I am quite impressed that you are reading my blog. Say hi to my namesake for me!
** By which I mean "that one girl in front of the Social Work Building today".
*** What's that spell?

srah - Monday, 9 February 2004 - 2:44 PM
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Comments (9)

gravatar katie - February 9, 2004 - 3:28 PM -

Say "Ass-Rectification" ten times fast and see what starts coming out of your mouth.

gravatar krista. - February 9, 2004 - 3:56 PM -

The opening sketch on SNL this past weekend was about just that--issues that matter. Of course, they were talking about Janet Jackson's 'bewb' (as Darrell Hammond/Ted Koppel pronounce it). So I think you've got at least a few interested parties. ;)

gravatar Urs - February 9, 2004 - 10:16 PM -

barf! it spells barf!

(just your visit from the areas Ms. Head Injury)

gravatar Justin - February 10, 2004 - 12:28 AM -

Wait. I'm still trying to get a picture of how this was working. She was wearing pants and you could see the bottom of her butt bulging out? How does that work? Are we talking panty-line related stuff here? Otherwise, she'd have a very oddly shapped rear (or very, very short pants).

gravatar srah - February 10, 2004 - 12:32 AM -

Yes, it was a panty-line issue. She had on tight pants, so you could see exactly where her underwear was and you could tell that where there was underwear, it was holding her in. And underneath the pantyline, where there wasn't underwear (but should have been), she was bulging out.

gravatar Jez - February 10, 2004 - 6:14 AM -

So she looks like she's got four buttocks, right?

gravatar srah - February 10, 2004 - 7:11 AM -

Righto!

gravatar katie - February 10, 2004 - 8:40 AM -

I thought everyone had four buttocks! You mean I've been mistaken all these years?

gravatar Cheryl - February 10, 2004 - 9:56 AM -

How unfortunate.

(My friend and I tried to bring the word "whore" into use in place of unfortunate (because whores were once called unfortunates, at least in the movie From Hell). "That's whore" or "How whore". Feel free to use it yourself.)

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