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What am I going to do with forty subscriptions to Vibe?

I have discovered the future. And it is not pretty.

Watching Office Space yesterday, I realized that there are at least two jobs in that film that match up to our School of Information training. First of all, after 501, we are trained in consultancy, which means that we could take over for the Bobs. If I chose that career path, I imagine a conversation something like:

srah: Let's see. You're Neil... Diamond?
(he nods)
srah: Is that your real name?
Neil: Yeah.
srah: Are you in any relation to the pop singer?
Neil: It's just a coincidence.
srah: To be honest with you, I love his music. I do. I am a Neil Diamond fan. For my money, I don't think it gets any better than when he sings "Cracklin' Rosie." I mean you must really love his music.
Neil: Yeah. Yeah... he, he, he's pretty, he's pretty good, I guess.
srah: You're GOD DAMN right he is. So tell me. What's your favorite song of his?
Neil: Hmm. I, I, I don't know. I mean, I guess, I sorta like 'em all.
srah: HA HA! I feel the exact same way, but it must be hard for you, I mean, having the same name as him. I celebrate the guy's entire catalogue. But anyway, let's get down to business, Neil!
Neil: You, you know, you can just call me, uh, Bob.
(glare)

However, I think I'm more likely to go into a career more related to usability - something where I'm sort of a go-between between the users of a system and the people who program it. Something along the lines of:

1st Bob: What you do at Initech is you take the specifications from the user and bring them down to the software engineers?
srah: Yes, yes that's right.
2nd Bob: Well then I just have to ask, why can't the users take them directly to the software people?
srah: Well, I'll tell you why... because... engineers are not good at dealing with users....
1st Bob: What would you say you do here?
srah: Look I already told you, I deal with the @#$% users so the engineers don't have too. I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people, can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?!

Actually, I think my dream job is more along the lines of Peter's... because I'd really rather just do nothing.

[dialogue from Office Space transcript]

srah - Sunday, 21 March 2004 - 3:18 PM
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Comments (9)

gravatar alfie - March 21, 2004 - 11:10 PM -

Neil Diamond? I'd change my name. I'd RATHER be Michael Bolton.

gravatar Anonymous - March 22, 2004 - 6:33 AM -

... because I'd really rather just do nothing.

Do nothing? Sounds like management. You should be in a position where you would have as many as four people working right underneath you.

gravatar alfie - March 22, 2004 - 11:39 AM -

Try and sell them again?

gravatar srah - March 22, 2004 - 11:46 AM -

I've never understood why he didn't get subscriptions to 40 different magazines, but I guess that's because I have no sense of humour.

gravatar alfie - March 22, 2004 - 1:53 PM -

Because it's funnier if he ended up with forty subscriptions to VIBE?

gravatar bryan - March 22, 2004 - 5:46 PM -

i would surely hate to be named neil diamond. but i do like cracklin' rose.

gravatar cari - March 22, 2004 - 10:08 PM -

So matt said my summer job sounded like the office space stuff in terms of y2k systems transitions. hahaha. we are such nerds!

gravatar srah - March 22, 2004 - 10:29 PM -

(Not you, Young Matthew)

gravatar Monkey - March 25, 2004 - 8:22 PM -

That is the BEST movie ever.

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