January 2005 archive

(66 entries)

January 31, 2005

Now I must eschew all use of the word 'blog' for about seven years

I've made 66 blog posts in the month of January. I've been watching this trend and waiting to see what the final count was. And as I've commented, I am a nerd and have been making line charts.

It's probably weird to be counting this. I mean, quantity of blogging doesn't count for much, does it? There are people who spew out loads of crap. I shouldn't be worried about how much I blog, but rather how well I blog.

But it's not actually aboout how much I've blogged. The point is, I've blogged more because I feel good about blogging again. I'm not bottling stuff up that I can't blog about. I'm not forcing myself to blog. There are things that I want to write down and ways that I want to say things. I'm seeing la vie en blogue again. I hope it lasts.

:)

srah | 11:30 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
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Running the Gambit... AND the Wolverine

Speaking of grammar mistakes, here's one I heard confused today. It wasn't the kind of thing that drives me insane, but I heard it and thought, 'That doesn't sound quite right. What did she mean to say?'

gambit - n. 1. An opening in chess in which a minor piece, or pieces, usually a pawn, is offered in exchange for a favorable position. 2. A maneuver, stratagem, or ploy, especially one used at an initial stage. 3. A remark intended to open a conversation.

gamut - n. 1. A complete range or extent: a face that expressed a gamut of emotions, from rage to peaceful contentment. 2. Music. The entire series of recognized notes.

srah | 4:36 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
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'When I have a brand new hairdo/ with my eyelashes all in curls/ I float as the clouds on air do...'

I called this morning to make an appointment to get my hair cut and started wondering about what the hiring process is like in a salon.

"Yes, hmmm. I can see from your application that you were raised by Vidal Sassoon. And you won the Nobel Prize in Hairstyling last year. And it says here that you worked with <insert name of another famous hair-person because seriously, srah don't know crap about hair>, who called you "the greatest hair-cutter the world has ever seen. Seriously, if Jesus came back as a stylist, he would be she." Very interesting.

"But see, the problem is, we already have someone named Amy here. So just don't see how we can hire you. Clients will get confused when they call if there are two Amys. Do you have a middle name or something you can go by? Yes? Oh, I'm sorry - we already have a Megan. And a Meg. And a Meganmeganbobeganbananafannafofegan. Yeah, I can see this isn't really going to work out. I'm sorry. Best of luck."

I don't know my haircutting lady's last name. Luckily it wasn't an issue. Do you know yours? Do salons ever have two people with the same name? What do they do?

srah | 11:23 AM | TrackBack
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I can go my own waaaaay (go my own waaaay-ay)

Mr B------ (hereafter from this day forward known as Mr B. because those hyphens, for some inexplicable reason, throw off the formatting of my blog in Firefox when they're linked) has complained that I always want my world to conform to my own whims and that I want things to be the way that I want them.

Um, yes? Don't we all? Wouldn't we all find the world a lot easier if people, objects and events behaved and occurred just as we wanted them to? I don't think there's anything wrong in wanting that. I realize that it's probably not going to happen that way in reality, but I reserve my right to complain if things are not the way I want them to be.

I reserve my right to complain awwwwll the ding-dang time.

srah | 11:18 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Tags: srah

January 30, 2005

Unconscious Mutterings

G'night. Here they are for this week. Turns out I did come home and blog!

srah | 12:33 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Tags: memes, unconscious mutterings

January 29, 2005

Yet another cry for help

I'm thinking of using my tax refund to buy a digital camera before Alternative Spring Break this year. I always find myself wanting to take pictures of things for my blog, knowing that by the time I develop and scan the photos, they will no longer be relevant and I will find myself stuck paying for the developing of a picture of this one really fat squirrel that I saw!!!11one that I don't even care about anymore.

I'm thinking of something light and compact in the $200-350 and 3-4 megapixel range. Good battery use and easy transfer of photos from camera to computer would be a plus. Does such a thing exist? Any recommendations/decommendations for specific brands or models?

Actually, do you really want to recommend anything, knowing that I will inflict on you pictures of this one really fat squirrel that I saw!!!11one?

srah | 6:12 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack
Tags: technology

January 28, 2005

'Four-thirty: time for milking...'

It's Friday night. My parents are out having a life and I am having a Friday Night In For One - chicken fried rice and a video.

I scanned our DVD shelves. Sabrina? No, Harrison Ford's too stuffy in that. But Harrison Ford's a good idea... So I set off to pick my favorite Harrison Ford vehicle - the one where he's at his peak in terms of looks and romantic heroishness.

I set off scanning the VHS collection for the video in question. Willow... Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory... Working Girl... WORKING GIRL? There is a conspicuous gap in our alphabetical order between Wil- and Wor-. One of our videos is missing. If it is where I suspect it is, heads will roll. Instead, I have settled for Romancing the Stone, which has no Harrison Ford at all. This is how my mind works.

What's your favorite Harrison Ford film? In the blahblahs, if you please.

srah | 8:57 PM | TrackBack
Tags: harrison ford, movies, witness

Nutrition galore!

I've just realized that I've eaten chicken fried rice for one meal or another for five out of the past six days. I'm so ashamed of myself!

srah | 8:50 PM | TrackBack
Tags: food

Coming down with something... possibly... celebrity?

The dog started whining to be let out. I sighed audibly to let him know how annoyed I was that he can't use the toilet like a normal person. I lumbered to a standing position and slumped towards the door, my head cocked to one side and my eyes barely open.

I feel, I realized, like Napoleon Dynamite looks.

When this happens, it is probably best to go directly to bed.

srah | 8:06 PM | TrackBack
Tags: health, napoleon dynamite

I like interacting with humans...

Dear Person Who Has Been Sitting In My Office All Day,

This is not to say that I have my own office, but that I work in an office and when I am working in it, I consider it mine. I am possessive like that.

Anyway, if you ask me if there's a phone around that you can use for a very important and urgent phone call and I let you use our office phone because I'm nice like that and because we have an unwritten policy of letting people use our stuff and because I still really don't understand why you have been hanging around the office for more than four hours, I don't expect the first words out of your mouth during this conversation to be "What up?"*

How important and urgent was this phone call that began, "What up?"

–––––
* I like that sentence. It was long and meandering. I am the worst writer ever and I love me for it.

srah | 4:53 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Tags: work

Aren't you subscribed?

Dear b3ta,

Thank you for the lovely e-mail newsletter. It is sitting in my Inbox, unread. It is the only unread e-mail in my Inbox and therefore stands out. My e-mail system, you see, highlights unread e-mail and makes them "pop out" to the eye.

The other e-mails in my Inbox say things like "Re: birthday?" or "Air Conditioning." Yours, however, sticks out from all the others, proudly announcing its subject line:

[b3ta] Issue 167: "Women who breast-feed cats.

Excellent. I'm so glad that's the one that is highlighted. I thought about opening it and reading it so that it would no longer be jumping out at me and anyone who walks by this computer at work. But I know you, dear b3ta, and I am willing to bet that there are, indeed, women who breast-feed cats inside.

<3 anyway, dudes.

srah | 4:42 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
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January 27, 2005

Thoughts on American Idol

Can you sing?

Do you know someone who can sing?

I can't think of anyone I know who can sing well enough that I would encourage them to try out for American Idol on national television. Why do these people's friends and family allow them to do this? Why do all of the contestants say, "Everyone I know says I sing really well?" Does everyone they know hate them? Being rejected is like a double-whammy: You suck, and everyone you know has just set you up to make a fool of yourself.

srah | 10:49 PM | TrackBack
Tags: american idol, tv

Good news: now I can judge Ashlee Simpson all I want!

"The most memorable women in black only let us remember the dress. You don't recall the shoes, the bag or even the men they were with particularly. It all comes back to the dress."

I just read an article on how to wear (and how not to wear) a little black dress. And I loved it and I blogged it so that you can read it and love it too. And also...

I bought a copy of Cosmo this week. But in my defense, it was for an article about things women do that hold them back professionally and--

Oh, for heaven's sake. Let us abandon all pretense of me not being girly. Anyone want to put on mud masks and paint our toenails?

[article via Zee's Boston Musings]

srah | 6:01 PM | TrackBack
Tags: dresses, fashion, girliness

*slurrrrrrp*

Hey, I've been Micheled! I'm a celebrity for a day! I found my clue in the list, but I was afraid that even I wouldn't be able to recognize myself. I find the Scavenger Hunt impossibly hard myself so I'm not going to help you, other than to suggest that you might want to look in the leftwardly direction of the page for some assistance. Otherwise, welcome. Please have a poke around.

srah | 11:59 AM | Comments (19) | TrackBack
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'She was wide-eyed, now she's streetwise/ To the lies and the jive talk'

I haven't watched Sliding Doors in years. I've considered it one of my favorite movies since about 1999, but I think that once I hadn't watched it in a while, I got scared that when I finally did watch it again, I wouldn't like it. So I avoided watching it to avoid facing that fear.

I think I was also driven, to some extent, by my guilt at not updating JohnHannah.net in years. It's basically abandoned - an excellent source of information on John Hannah's career up to about... 2002 or so, but hopelessly lacking in recent years. I'm sorry, John (and JH.net). It's not that I love or respect your work any less... it's just that following your career has become less of a priority for me since I realized I'm going to need one of my own. If I watch John Hannah's movies, I remember how I used to feel about him and the site and I feel guilty for abandoning them.

While nursing my headache yesterday, I decided to bite the bullet and watch it again. Luckily, I still love it and I think I love it in ways I wouldn't have appreciated two years ago.

If you haven't seen the movie, there's no point in reading on - you won't understand and it will spoil things if you plan on watching it later.

srah | 10:53 AM | TrackBack
Tags: movies, sliding doors

January 26, 2005

Earl Grey, why hath thou forsaken me?

My head hurts. I've just realized that I can't remember drinking any tea since Sunday. I remember boiling the water several times, but I never got to the stage of making or drinking the tea. So this headache may be from withdrawal. I am treating it now.

Because of my headache, I have skipped out on a presentation I was going to go to at the Business School. So I put on my Business Casual Grown Up costume for nothing. Bah! Well, I'll have fun looking like a Business Casual Grown Up Laying Around The House And Moaning About Her Head. And Drinking Tea.

Too achey to think of things to say, but I want comments. So forget the ships and sealing-wax and kings; speak to me of cabbages and things. In the blahblahs. If you please.

srah | 4:51 PM | TrackBack
Tags: business school, headache, health, tea

January 25, 2005

Reason #4589 Why I Should Have Been Raised By A Jealous, Fictional Musical Psycho Instead of My Family

The Phantom of the Opera: "He was bound to love you/ When he heard you sing" "Sing for me, my Angel of Music!"

vs.

Srahfamily: "She's singing again! Ha ha ha!" *slams door*

*sniff*

The Phantom would have been so supportive of my dreams. He would have recognized my true talent and--

... Oh, talent. Drat.

srah | 4:52 PM | TrackBack
Tags: music, singing, srahfam

That which we call a Coke/ By any other name would taste as sweet

Although I've lived almost all of my life in Michigan, I've found that outside sources have snuck in and affected my language. Jason blogged recently about standardizing his English when speaking with English-speakers from around the world. While international English speakers have definitely affected my language, I've even been influenced to standardize my American English somewhat from my native Michigander.

I've only just realized that I am now just as likely (or perhaps even more likely) to call a sweet, carbonated beverage a "soda" rather than a "pop" just because I've been around enough people who look at me funny, laugh or are confused by the p-word. If it comes in a can, though, it will always be pop - not because I'm particularly married to the term, but because it seems to be one word to me: a particularly Michiganderish "cannapahp."

srah | 3:49 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack
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Ces nouveaux hiboux sont jaloux; ils n'ont ni cheveux ni genoux. C'est pour ça qu'ils nous jettent des cailloux et nous rendent malheureux!*

Is it acceptable in English to use plurals like bureaux, milieux and beaux? I love spelling things with X's but I don't know if it's right in English.

In the cover letter I wrote yesterday, I wanted to write something about the various milieux in which I had reference experience. I couldn't decide if I was allowed to spell it milieux or if I had to go for the very BOR-ing and wrong-looking 'milieus' so I just said 'environments.'

It was probably for the best anyway. No sense in being pretentious in a cover letter - I need to trick them into hiring me and then reveal my real, pretentious self once I'm on the job.

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* Translation: These new owls are jealous; they have neither hair nor knees. That's why they throw rocks at us and make us unhappy! I don't know how they manage to throw the rocks, since they don't have hands, either. Perhaps they grip it by the husk.

srah | 3:18 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
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SI mp3 swap: Week 1

Discs for the swap were due Tuesday, so I had mine in the Thursday before. I am an overachiever, but only in pointless endeavours like this. You wouldn't catch me dead handing schoolwork in early. In fact, being dead would be a great excuse not to hand in schoolwork at all. Anyway, I made up for it by being incredibly late with my first-week roundup post.

Disc One
All of a sudden, my mp3 collection is 123 songs richer. Well, 130 or so, but there were a few songs I already had. It's actually a surprise to me that there were duplicates because I've never heard of most of this music. The nice thing about mp3 swaps is discovering new music, but I don't even have a starting reference point for a lot of this and it's making me panic. When am I going to have time to listen to all of this music?? What have I gotten myself into?

Anyway, it's pretty much what I expected: Lots of really hard stuff that kind of scares me, balanced with Celtic-sounding softer things. Ani Difranco reminds me of the time my freshman-year roommate left her newest CD on repeat for a whole week until I wanted to rip my ears out, but Tori Amos reminds me of my roommate in a good way, as well as reminding me of the line "Father, I killed my monkey" and of laughing at JMM. REDEEMED!

There's some really nice stuff on here to be discovered. I've listened to this one at least three times, when I should have been working my way through all the other music!

For you: XTC - Greenman

Disc Two
Phew. If this had been as unfamiliar as the other one, I would have been in big trouble and would have had to blame the mp3 swap when I neither graduated nor found a job*. This disc luckily has a lot of music that I've heard of but don't own - so I don't necessarily have to listen and evaluate each song individually. That's good, because I need to have a life in addition to doing the mp3 swap. Alright. This week is survivable. Okay.

What I like about this CD is that it's got a lot of music that I like, but it would never occur to me to actually look for it. Like, for example, Glass Tiger. (I could have sworn I heard Bryan Adams in the background. Do all Canadians sound the same?)

For you: Glass Tiger - Don't Forget Me

Elsewhere this week:

----
* Ah, scapegoat for my own shortcomings!

srah | 11:46 AM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
Tags: si mp3 swap

Pay no attention to that girl in the tinfoil hat

I had a chuckle this afternoon at those false-memory jokers making up events and actually believing that they'd happened. Ha ha! Fools!

This evening, I went to another class, which deals with human behavior in organizations. We talked about the problems in management and communication that led to the Challenger explosion in 1986. I've known for years that the Challenger exploded in 1986. 1986 is the year I was 6 years old and in first grade. I remember sitting in my first grade classroom and hearing about the Challenger explosion.

Except, to my horror, the video we watched revealed that the Challenger exploded January 28, 1986.

January 28, 1986. As in the second semester of the 1985-86 school year. As in the year I was in kindergarten. Which means that I made up this memory of sitting in my first-grade classroom and hearing about the Challenger disaster.

I'm taking the class with Robin's sister, who was in fifth grade at the time, so I asked her if she remembered what they'd done at our school. She said that we'd been sent home early. The explosion was at 11:30 am, though, which is about the time I would have been going home from kindergarten anyway.

I went to kindergarten in the morning and then in the afternoon, I remember I used to watch cartoons like Rocky & Bullwinkle. A memory of watching Rocky & Bullwinkle popped into my head and I was fine again, until I realized that I was facing the wrong way in my memory - that in fact, I was remembering watching TV in the room that we added onto the house in 1991.

A lot of my trivia knowledge is offered with a grain of salt: "I think it's X, but I might be making it up." I think I might be making things up more often than I thought.

srah | 1:38 AM | Comments (8) | TrackBack
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I'm Darth... Darth Vader. I'm your density.

In my afternoon class today, we talked about false memories, specifically of alien abduction. Somehow this related to human behavior in information systems, apparently, although I really didn't see more than the most tenuous of links. We discussed an article* about a psychological study on people who claimed to have recovered lost memories of alien abductions and another group of people who believed they had been abducted by aliens but had no memory of the event. The article said,

"Participants in this group cited a variety of signs and symptoms that they believed indicated an abduction history (e. g. , insomnia, waking up in strange positions, unexplained marks on the body, preoccupation with science fiction)."

I love the idea that these people stay up all night reading Star Wars fan fiction, writhe around in bed and wake up convinced that this means they've been abducted by aliens.

–––––
* Clancy, S.A. et al. (2002, August) Memory distortion in people reporting abduction by aliens. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 111(3), 455-461. Retrieved January 23, 2005, from PsychInfo (EBSCO Host) database. [I'm practicing my APA...]

srah | 12:53 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Tags: school of information

Oh behave!

I am taking three classes this semester: Human Behavior, Fundamentals of Human Behavior and Information-Seeking Behavior. I don't think they will make me behave any better - they seem instead to be trying to teach me about the concept of behavior.

Sighs of chagrin may now explode from the reading audience.

srah | 12:08 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Tags: school of information

January 24, 2005

I shall cuddle you to safety!

Driving to Mr B------'s movie premiere on Saturday night, I saw a brownish chunk of snow in the middle of the road. It was a brownish chunk of snow like all other brownish chunks of snow that ride around and around on tires, get stuck in wheel-wells and eventually fall off. I slowed down a little to go around the curve and was very glad that I had done so when the chunk of brown snow suddenly hopped forward. I stopped the car and the chunk hopped again. I inched forward behind the little tiny bunny, who just hopped down the middle of the road, oblivious to the danger that he'd been in. Eventually he found a place where the snow wasn't so deep and he could hop off the road.

Camouflage works well against natural predators, bunny, but not so well with cars.

srah | 11:51 PM | TrackBack
Tags: bunnies, driving

Forget a job - here is my future

(upon seeing the reflection of my beret-clad head in a window as I walk past)
srah: My hat has a stem. I'm an acorn!
Mr B------: Are you going to grow up to be a mighty oak?
(sad, pensive pause)
srah: No. *sniff* I think I'm a dud.
Mr B------: You're going to be eaten by squirrels!

srah | 11:38 PM | TrackBack
Tags: conversation, fashion, hats

Actual advances in the field of science!

According to scientists (who are always doing science, you see), January 24 was supposed to be the most depressing day of the year.

Mine was just fine. I wasn't very productive at work, but I applied for a part-time library job, I had some leftover* chicken fried rice for lunch, I saw my friends, I got to talk about alien abduction in my afternoon class and I actually said something in my evening class. I heard about the study on the radio on the way home and thought back on my day. I was a little frustrated about parking earlier, but it was mostly a good day.

How was your January 24?

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* I like it better reheated. Is that weird?

srah | 11:26 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Tags: discovered

Scroll on, playa!

"Bling-Blaow! This LED Belt Buckle is like having a piece of the future on your waist."
- LED Scrolling Text IcedOut Belt Buckle

I want this, just for the sake of having it. A piece of the future! On my freaking waist!

[via sp3ccylad]

srah | 3:23 PM | TrackBack
Tags: fashion

January 23, 2005

'Aliens? Us? Is this one of your Earth jokes?'

I'm a lot better at complaining about things than admiring them. So while I managed four paragraphs on Troy, here are some good movies I've seen recently and said nothing about:

  • The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra: I came across this at the video rental store on New Year's Eve. Justin had mentioned it months (maybe years?) ago and I'd watched the trailer and looked forward to seeing it. So I rented it and showed it at our Tuesday movie night the next week. It was a masterpiece! Aliens, mutants, a sarcastic talking skeleton, people drinking out of candle holders, a scientist doing science, mysterious radioactive elements... if you like Plan Nine From Outer Space (which you should) then this will be a pleasure to behold.
  • Shaun of the Dead: A zombie romantic comedy. Excellent.
  • Un long dimanche de fiançailles (A Very Long Engagement): The optimism, otherworldliness and beautiful look of Amélie, but made into a love story, a war movie and a mystery. I wish Jeunet had been signed to make one of the Harry Potter movies, as the rumours went. Dominique Pinon as Firenze!

srah | 5:26 PM | TrackBack
Tags: movies

'Perhaps if we built a large wooden badger...'

My family is insane and buys movies that we've never seen and sometimes don't really have that much interest in seeing. Troy had been sitting on our shelf for at least a month and we finally pulled it out today.

At 35:30 of the movie, there's a shot of a marketplace. Animals are being led around to be sold, including a pair of llamas (possibly alpacas). Where the heck do ancient Trojans get llamas? I wasn't really prepared to take this movie seriously, but the llamas ruined that for me. It's all downhill from here.

If I were Achilles, I would have worn armoured shoes. How much would it suck to be the greatest warrior of all time, nearly immortal, and to be shot down by a wuss like Paris? So much for glory. I heart Orlando Bloom and all, but Paris is a wienie and I want to punch him through the whole movie.

These men already have long hair and teeny tiny skirts. So why did they remove all of the gay subplots? Man, Achilles was sure broken up at the death of his "cousin." American audiences are no fun at all.

srah | 4:43 PM | TrackBack
Tags: movies

Unconscious Mutterings

I had a drink or two, but it's mostly fatigue and the desire to no longer be awake, which are sometimes two different things. I'm home now and safe and pyjamaed and ready to sleep. But before slizeeping to the mizzax, a few free associations, 'kay?

srah | 1:28 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Tags: memes, unconscious mutterings

January 22, 2005

Tina! Come get some ham!

What are you going to do today, srah?, you may ask.

To which I respond, Whatever I feel like I wanna do, GOSSSSSHHHHH.

In other words, I'll be playing with this.

[via Mental Floss]

Update: After listening to these sound clips, srahfamily are now all craving tots.

srah | 9:51 AM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
Tags: discovered

January 21, 2005

ph34r the mighty titan that is srah!

Danny Devito, the Reincarnated Corpses of Edith Piaf and Judy Garland, Pat Benatar and I are totally going to form a SuperHeroTeam and whale on Gary Coleman until he cries. SHRIMP!

And I will be like a god(dess) unto them, raised high above by the power of my awesome genetics.

[via sp3ccylad]

srah | 7:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Tags: discovered

January 20, 2005

PSA!

Bob is a TV star! Watch!

srah | 9:15 PM | TrackBack
Tags: bob, tv

January 19, 2005

Re: w1ll y0u b3 mÿ v@l3nt1nè? 038/033cheapc1@li15

In my Junk Mail folder today, I discovered an email where the sender was "geography.net" and the subject line was "Heyz, Dearest."

I'm kind of flattered that someone with a name like geography.net is so fond of me.

*blushes daintily*

srah | 11:06 AM | Comments (12) | TrackBack
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Picture my fingers in the shape of a W

'Tis one of those mornings where it's hard to give a fuck.

I may be in tea withdrawal; off, now, to remedy the situation.

srah | 10:16 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
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January 18, 2005

SI mp3 swap

Yea verily: Noor did call upon the SI community to create mp3 mix CDs for to swap with one's neighbors. And when this call didst go out, there was a thunderous response, necessitating the burnage of two copies each. And all was well.

Until one day when the swap did start, and young Sarah did find herself buried alive in mp3s. This is her tale, to be chronicled weekly until April or until she does die from the overdose of mp3s.

Other such tales can be found herein:

(And so as not to bore the rest of you too much, I shall ask the permission of the donors to post a favorite from their collection, so that others may feast upon it. As well as the sloths and the breakfast cereals and the fruit bats...)

srah | 2:17 PM | Comments (8) | TrackBack
Tags: si mp3 swap

Dream

I dreamt last night that MaTT had a new background image on his website and I had to take him to Vichy to convince him that the image was a photograph of the high school I worked in. While I was at the school, I got walked in on in the bathroom by almost all of my former students as well as some students I didn't have, I ran into a certain purple-hating SI professor, who apparently had an office in the school and came over to Vichy for 3 days every week even though she didn't actually teach there or even speak French, and Cheryl, Robin and I watched TV with Scott Peterson, who apparently in my dream had killed his mother instead of his wife and baby because his voice got all funny and angry/trembly when he talked about her.

srah | 8:45 AM | TrackBack
Tags: dream

January 17, 2005

My Trip to the Auto Show, or: Marketing Meets UI... With Sexy Tragic Results

Srahfamily ventured to Detroit today for the North American International Auto Show (and more importantly, to Greektown for lunch!)

The first cars we saw upon entering were shaped sort of like those creatures on Naboo that stupid retarded Anakin goes stupid retarded riding - the ones with the huge butts that taper down to tiny heads. What is with that trend in car design?

I walked past an Audi and looked it over. The nose was pretty huge and I couldn't decide if I liked it or not, so I came around to the side and checked out the price sticker: $146,000 base price. Ahem! There was a guy polishing the car and when he saw me sputtering, he said, "It's not worth it!"

"Um... you work for the Auto Show, rather than Audi, don't you?" I responded.

"What? Uh, yeah, I do." He looked confused.

"Because you're a pretty awful salesman."

Speaking of awful and salesmen, we also visited the Scion display. It makes me angry that the Scion xB exists and I was looking for answers. As I have ranted before, it looks like a freaking toaster! Why are there people out there who want to drive toasters?! I don't know if I want to live in a world where people want to drive toasters. I had always theorized that maybe there were a lot of people who wanted to own a Scion and that the xB was the cheapest model, but today my illusions were shattered - the xA costs over $1,000 less and is actually attractive.

The Stupid Toaster is much more visible than the normal-looking Scions and I wondered if there really fifty million of them on the road or if that was just an invention of my fevered mind. So I asked the salesperson, "What's the most popular model you sell?"

She thought for a moment and responded, "I think the tC is our best seller these days." I sighed in relief, but then she continued, "But the xB was our biggest seller last year."

Unfortunately, my hatred for the car overcame all sense of propriety and decency as I shook my head, grimaced and responded, "Oh no! That one's crap!"

Then Alfie and I wandered around for a while, daring each other to go and ask a salesperson where you put the bread in.

I always look forward to the auto show, but I always forget that it really isn't the place for me. There are all these displays with bad user interfaces, the noise and people and heat make me claustrophobic and I am painfully practical when it comes to cars. It does no good to show me a $146,000 Audi or a Lamborghini convertible because I will instead be drooling over moderately-priced 4-door sedans. I need four doors in my life. I have friends and I hate having to get out of the car so they can get in the back seat. If I had a sporty little 2-seater, I would never be able to drive when my friends went ou--

I need a sporty little 2-seater.

srah | 4:06 PM | Comments (19) | TrackBack
Tags:

January 16, 2005

All the festivities, half the aggravation, awwwwwll the starchy goodness

RESOLVED: To find someone who will buy me one of these for Valentine's Day.

On second thought, perhaps Presidents' Day.

[via Mental Floss]

srah | 6:20 PM | TrackBack
Tags: star wars

Coming to terms with girliness

When I paint my fingernails, my life changes. Suddenly I am very aware of everything that I touch. Am I putting my nail polish in danger? Am I putting the objects I touch in danger of a scrape from my strong, powerful nails? Whose hands are these, anyway? I don't know if it makes me feel more girly, but it makes me more aware of my sense of touch and perhaps a little daintier in my manner of touching things.

Never mind; they're pink. I am girly. I struggled for years against girliness, but now I'm always wearing pink and skirts and high heels... I think the battle is lost. I guess it's okay to be a girl sometimes.

srah | 12:41 PM | TrackBack
Tags: girliness, makeup

Unconscious Mutterings

A vague desire to free associate is the fire in the eyes of this chick, whose sickness is Unconscious Mutterings. Uh... yeah.

srah | 1:03 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Tags: memes, unconscious mutterings

January 14, 2005

If we didn't have women's bathrooms, where would we talk?

Have you ever thought about how strange public restrooms really are? Why do we put up stalls so that we can't be seen, but not care about whether anyone hears us peeing? Why is one sense so much more important than the other in terms of privacy? And why do they separate the men's and women's bathrooms? If they all had stalls, would it really matter?

I am full of questions today.

srah | 10:33 AM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
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Stop staring out the window and get back to work!

The sun is shining through the clouds in a sort of yellowish way and tiny, floaty snowflakes are falling and dancing around. It's very pretty and fey* - sort of like what I think snow in Rivendell would be like - but I only think that because I'm inside, where it's warm.

–––––
* I rule.

srah | 9:37 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Tags: weather

The 'fox and the pwned!!!11oneone

In a class I attended last week, the teacher asked who uses Firefox. A multitude of hands were raised, so he asked instead who uses Internet Explorer. No one raised their hand.

Are you still using Internet Explorer? I have to switch over to it occasionally to use Flash 7, which doesn't seem to upgrade correctly on Firefox but the only other advantage I can think of is that this page was designed back in the IE days and doesn't look quite right in Firefox.

Don't worry, my children. I release you. Go forth and be one with the Firefox.

srah | 7:16 AM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Tags: technology

January 13, 2005

You... light up my life...

Thank you, Very Young Almost Needing To Shave Moldy-Looking Upper-Lipped White Boy, for coming into my workplace in a FUBU jacket. Making me giggle is always appreciated.

srah | 4:18 PM | TrackBack
Tags: fashion

January 12, 2005

Whatever happened to John Stevens, anyway?

Less than a week to the premiere of American Idol! You know what that means? Yes, that's right: Weeks and weeks of stupid pointless posts from me. There's gonna be some changes made this season:

The biggest change will come midseason, beginning Feb. 21, when, instead of 32 aspirants ousted at a rate of six per week, 24 contestants -- 12 men and 12 women -- will compete. At this point, "American Idol' will air three times a week -- on Monday, female contestants will vie for votes, with men showing off their chops on Tuesday. Wednesday's episode, as always, will reveal viewer reactions, eliminating two men and two women each week.

Fox, I would really like to be able to have a life. Who wants to devote three nights a week to American Idol? This is absurd. Why do you have to segregate them, anyway?

srah | 10:44 PM | TrackBack
Tags: american idol, american idol 4, tv

'When vague desire is the fire in the eyes of chicks whose sickness is the games they play...'

I like Best Buy better than Circuit City and this opinion is based solely on the fact that I think it smells better. I don't know why they should even smell different, since they have basically the same products. Maybe it's the employees.

Taking this post in a different, only tenuously related direction, I stopped into Circuit City today to browse and window shop and buy some blank CDs. They had a great rack* of $7.99 "Best of" CDs and it occurred to me that I have been meaning for some time to buy a CD by The Association and that this was the sort of band that should have a $7.99 "Best of" CD. I asked the cashier if she had a catalogue of everything in stock and then asked her to look them up. She informed me that they didn't have anything by that group. I was rather disappointed and thought to myself, 'Why don't you have anything at all by The Association? Not even a "Best of" CD? They had a lot of big hits, back in the day, back... forty years ago.'

It hadn't really struck me until then that the music I listen to is all around forty years old now. I am so not cool.

–––––
* I said "great rack!" Ha ha!

srah | 12:51 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
Tags: music

January 11, 2005

Dream

I dreamt last night that I was in a sort of Lemony-Snicketish situation where someone was brainwashing people into killing other people at my schoool. We knew who was going to be killed and we knew the term that was supposed to trigger it, but we didn't know who was brainwashed so we just took the victim and ran. We were galloping across the desert on horses with huge bubbles over our heads to keep sand out of our eyes and lungs when somehow we found out who it was. So we set back off for the school.

On the way, we ran into a group of fellow students who offered us a ride. We walked to their van and got in but we had to wait for everyone to get there. My friend Melissa from the abbey walked by and was going to have to walk home so we offered her a ride. Somehow while we were in the car I received a box of 3 dozen doughnuts floating in milk that was a Christmas present from Mer. I realized they were going to get soggy if we didn't eat them right away so Noor (who was sitting next to me) and I had to eat a lot of them. We already had seven people in this mini-van, so we decided to drop Melissa off before waiting for the others to get there. As we drove off, we saw the owner of the van looking at us inquisitively, so we had to stop and explain. They said they were all ready to go, but they had picked up extra people too, so there were at least five more people we had to fit in.

srah | 7:51 AM | TrackBack
Tags: dream

January 10, 2005

Mutants everywhere!

In one of the classes I'm considering for this semester, we looked today at Cirque de Soleil's business model. As this is technically an undergraduate class, we began with ten minutes of a Cirque de Soleil video. After ten minutes, the professor stopped and said, "Who would pay $100 to continue watching?" referring to Cirque de Soleil's ticket prices.

I would have paid $100 to stop watching. I know everyone's in love with Cirque de Soleil and for this reason, I tried to give them a chance. But I basically see them as bendy, balancey, new-Age-music-dancing clowns. And it is a well-known fact that clowns suck.

I did the wrong week's readings, I'm four years older than everyone, I've ended up in a project group that thinks doing a project on Merrill Lynch would be "interesting" (horrors! Must try to convince them otherwise!) and I'm watching clown videos. I feel uncomfortable.

srah | 11:30 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Tags: university of michigan

Dream

I dreamt last night that they were filming the sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean and I had taken over the Marty Feldman role as Igor in some kind of Young Frankenstein cross-over. I knew I only got the role because I was married to the writer (who may have been Rob Reiner) and I knew I wasn't very good. But once I found a voice to use and they actually started telling me when they were filming, I was all set to go. Except that I didn't know any of my lines, so I ended up ad-libbing things like "Captain Jack Sparrow! Why I haven't seen you since you were wrapped in swaddling clothes and lying in a manger!"

srah | 7:19 AM | TrackBack
Tags: dream

January 9, 2005

I freaking HATE Mike Celestino

Songs To Wear Pants To is a website where the musician will write a song based on any input you give him. They're actually surprisingly good and fun... I'm finding song #0126 addictingly catchy.

I've put in a request for a song about archivists, since we already have plenty about librarians and HCI.

[via infinitely tortuous]

srah | 4:41 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Tags: discovered

Unconscious Mutterings

Sunday Sunday Sunday. Work to be done! But first... a few free associations.

srah | 11:50 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Tags: memes, unconscious mutterings

January 8, 2005

The Year in Review

This meme is The Year In Review: a compilation of first lines from first posts in every month last year (except because I am not very thinksy or observant, I did the last post of every month and didn't notice until I got to October).

[via eac]

srah | 6:52 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack
Tags: memes

Reunited and it tastes so good

The best thing about being sick is that once you're over it, you have a new appreciation for food. You know what's good? Cookies. And olives. And tortilla chips. And cheese. And Dove chocolate hearts. And bacon. And... well, food is good.

How I've missed thee, chéri.

srah | 5:06 PM | TrackBack
Tags: food

January 7, 2005

Wasting away again...

I am so conditioned to respond "fine" when someone asks me how I am, that I do so even when I'm not fine. I could be vomiting slugs and someone would ask me how I was and I would say "fiBLEAAAAAAAAAAAAGHne."

I am not fine today.

srah | 12:43 PM | TrackBack
Tags: health

*moan*

I haven't left the house yet today, despite the classes, meetings and work that are going on without me. Instead, my stomach is having fun spasming and returning things to me that I had hoped never to see again. Why why why did I do that? What in my history with alcohol made me think I could handle that much and make it to a 9am class all hunky-dory? If anyone needs a designated driver in the next few months, I don't think I'll be drinking for a while.

*continues hating self*

srah | 12:15 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack
Tags: alcohol

Drunk posting

omgh, dhoe fo eprobrn ftunk pody? o s, dp ftiml o vsm
y rbrm// o plr ridy msy yp dyjpe i[ pt ,sin r

d;r[[ Pj. DPVJO js[[u jpitd///

Note (7:07 am): I've made drunken posts before, but this is some drunken post. I wonder what I was actually trying to say!

srah | 12:38 AM | TrackBack
Tags: alcohol, my favorite posts

January 6, 2005

'Don't want to ruin my chances at romance by smelling of dung all through the reception'

Sometimes it's sad that in the Great Movie Of Our Lives, we have to be the main characters. The supporting cast is always more interesting and usually seem to have an simpler time of it without all that nasty plot-driving conflict.

*watches Four Weddings and a Funeral*
*fast-forwards through all the Andie MacDowell parts*

srah | 4:35 PM | TrackBack
Tags: andie macdowell, four weddings and a funeral, movies

Computer-users are teh l33t!

I thought that I wouldn't bother to bring my laptop to class the first week of classes. It's too early to be boring, I'll look like I'm on task and I'll have to look around and meet people.

I tried that the first day. I was shy and didn't talk to anyone and I was annoyed because I had all this extra time before class and couldn't check my email. Today I brought Isidore and people started talking about laptops and I met two new people.

Who says computers make people antisocial?

srah | 1:03 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack
Tags: school of information

I'll stop the world and melt with you

Dear Jobs In Virginia, Maryland, California...

Please find me. I'm already sick of driving in snow.

*weeps*

srah | 12:58 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
Tags: weather

January 5, 2005

Recent pet peeves

  • When blogs I like don't have RSS feeds that let me read them in my email client, so I actually have to check to see if they've updated
  • Captchas that use numbers. I do a lot of computing in the dark! I can't see where the numbers are! Spell words, because my fingers know how to find letters in the dark.
  • Flash animations with a "skip intro" link built into the Flash. I don't have Flash at work. I haven't had any luck upgrading the plugin on Firefox to Flash 7. This means that there are a lot of HTML sites I can't enter because I can't view the animation with the link in it. Stop that!
  • The nagging suspicion that there is a world-wide conspiracy among pants, desks and blankets to touch, rub against or hit the spot on my knee where I cut it shaving and ripped a few layers of skin off. It hurrrts!

srah | 12:49 PM | Comments (9) | TrackBack
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January 3, 2005

Smell my head!

Dear Internet,

I found a great conditioner when I was in France. I don't know if it made my hair look any better than any other conditioner would, but I quite liked the scent and it went well with the lovely shampoo I found there. And since I smell my own hair more frequently than I look at it, this is what is important to me. Unfortunately, I haven't found this brand in the States, so now that I've finished off the bottle, I have to switch.

So I went and bought a bottle of something new. And I don't like it. It smelled fine in the store, but smelling fine in the store is quite a different thing from your own head smelling like a grapefruit all day long. I don't even know why it smells like a grapefruit, when it's supposed to be ylang ylang, vanilla flower and hibiscus. This is one of those inexplicable things in life, I guess.

Anyway, I turn to you, dear Internet. Have you got any suggestions for shampoos or conditioners you really like? I'm rather turned off by extremely fruity or floral scents at the moment and if the shampoo/conditioner were to have magical volumizing powers for fine, thin hair, that would be helpful too. Or Timotei and Palmolive could just start selling their hair products in the US and that would be fine, too!

srah | 2:10 PM | TrackBack
Tags: open letters, shampoo

January 2, 2005

Let's revisit...

Classes resume on Wednesday. Ah, such a lovely and fruitful Christmas Break. Or WAS IT?

To do over Christmas Break

  • Buy Christmas presents
  • Apply for jobs
  • Figure out what I'm doing next semester
  • Read a book... for fun! (For some reason, I did not read any of the new books I got for Christmas or even the book that I got for my birthday and still haven't read, but rather reread Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Still, that counts as reading for fun!)
  • Redesign the blog
  • Invent a time machine and extend Christmas Break by about five weeks

Yeah, so that's productive. I think I'm going to have to add "clean my room" to the list, because my ninja's pleas don't seem to be working. That or you've all gone to clean the ninja's room.

srah | 12:24 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack
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I command a ninja army... of one! (and you can too)

I TOLD you I knew the illegal ninja moves from the government. They just happen to use, um, flags.

Goshhhhhhhhhhhhh.

[via sp3ccylad]

srah | 10:45 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Tags: discovered

January 1, 2005

Unconscious Mutterings

I spent this evening shooting wolverines in Alaska with my grandpa.

Or maybe doing free associations on my freakin' weblog.

Goshhhhhhhhhhh.

srah | 11:47 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Tags: memes, unconscious mutterings

'Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills. You know, like nunchuck skills, bowhunting skills, computer hacking skills...'

My hair is in a ponytail on the side of my head (because I couldn't quite tease it into a 'fro). I'm scoffing. I'm thinking about getting some sweet moon boots. I'm craving tater tots. And I'm the only one who knows the illegal ninja moves from the government.

It's AWESOME.

Goshhhhhhhhhhhhh.

While we were at Hollywood Video last night, we came across what we originally thought was a joke but turned out to actually be the first volume of a movie version of the Book of Mormon. We thought about renting it as a joke. But then by some freak of nature, my family's weekend video rentals included the freakin' sweet Napoleon Dynamite (which was made by Mormons but we didn't realize it until we watched the director's commentary) and a supercrappy cheap ripoff of Pride and Prejudice that turned out to be set in Salt Lake City.

I think they want us! Is it, like, a Mormon Cinematic Revolution?

srah | 10:53 PM | TrackBack
Tags: jane austen, movies, napoleon dynamite, pride and prejudice

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