'Perhaps if we built a large wooden badger...'

My family is insane and buys movies that we've never seen and sometimes don't really have that much interest in seeing. Troy had been sitting on our shelf for at least a month and we finally pulled it out today.

At 35:30 of the movie, there's a shot of a marketplace. Animals are being led around to be sold, including a pair of llamas (possibly alpacas). Where the heck do ancient Trojans get llamas? I wasn't really prepared to take this movie seriously, but the llamas ruined that for me. It's all downhill from here.

If I were Achilles, I would have worn armoured shoes. How much would it suck to be the greatest warrior of all time, nearly immortal, and to be shot down by a wuss like Paris? So much for glory. I heart Orlando Bloom and all, but Paris is a wienie and I want to punch him through the whole movie.

These men already have long hair and teeny tiny skirts. So why did they remove all of the gay subplots? Man, Achilles was sure broken up at the death of his "cousin." American audiences are no fun at all.

srah - Sunday, 23 January 2005 - 4:43 PM
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