January 2004 archive

(74 entries)

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January 29, 2004

I do not like green snow or ham. I do not like them. SAM I am.

Dear Diary,

Sometimes I feel like I just have too much free time on my hands! And too many toes*! So today I set out to remedy that situation.

I gave tbone and Mr B------ a ride to school this morning, dear diary, and managed to get myself trapped in a snowdrift whilst trying to parallel park. They claimed I was "good enough" even though I was angled out into the street, but I tried pulling forward and backward and got nothing but tire-spinning from the process. I finally forced my riders to get out of the car and push, at which point they made up some story about green liquid dripping from the front of my car in order to get out of pushing.

Well, okay, there really was green liquid. So I gave up, declaring it "good enough because if the radiator is leaking, I don't want to drive it anywhere, so as long as I'm getting towed, I might as well get towed out of this stupid snowdrift." We went to ~~a pointless waste of time~~ class, then I got lunch and called AAA around 11:30.

When I finally got through to the AAA "customer advocate" around noon, I explained my situation.

"Green snow is better than yellow snow!" he pointed out, "But you still shouldn't eat it." He told me that the towing company would be there at 1:00, so I killed an hour paying my tuition** and walking back to the car. I arrived a few minutes before 1, just in case he showed up early and I wasn't there.

I got into the car and sat there. I was afraid to start up a car leaking mysterious green stuff, so I just sat. I fiddled with things in my bag. I sat. I entered AAA's 800 number into my cell phone. I sat. I looked at my watch. I sat. I shivered. I sat. I pulled my scarf tighter around me. I sat. I considered taking off my shoes and pulling my feet underneath me to warm them up, but rejected that idea because the tow truck would show up any minute and I would need to have shoes on. I sat. I tried to figure out if I could still feel my toes or not. I sat. I rethought the shoe-removal idea, but decided that since more time had passed since the time I originally thought of it, I was that much closer to tow truck arrival-time.

Around 1:22, I called AAA again.

"The truck is on his way," the operator told me. "He's just dropping off another car."

"Um, do I have to be with my car for him to tow it?" I asked.

"Yes, you do. Are you in the car now?"

"Yes. I was hoping to go somewhere warm."

"Do you have somewhere you could go near your car?"

"No... it's a residential area."

"Well I'll put a rush on this then. They should take this into account, because it's cold out there."

"Thank you."

So they sped that tow truck up so fast that it got there... half an hour later. But you know what? It was worth the wait, and I blamed no one because he was finally there and everything was going to be all better now.

I told him my problem and he pointed out that it was going to be more expensive if he had to tow me out of the snowdrift, so maybe I should try to get out on my own. I explained that I'd tried to get out, but just spun my wheels for a while. I also explained that I had been afraid to start up the car with greenness dripping out, so I hadn't tried since that morning. He said it shouldn't be a problem unless it looked like the car was overheating.

I gave escape a shot with him watching, but just spun some more. He got in and got a rocking backward-forward motion going and managed to back out of the space. This I'll-help-you-do-it-yourself-to-save-money approach reminded me of the time I went to the doctor and he helped me take my contact fragment out. It's nice when people help you avoid getting hosed for something simple, but it also makes you feel kind of stupid.

The tow truck man looked at the green puddle under the car. He looked under the hood. He looked at the snow in the wheel-well of the car. His diagnosis: Green snow. That I had parked on top of.

Ahem.

So at this point, it was about 2:30 pm (three hours after my phone call began) and I had no feeling in my toes... ALL FOR SOME GREEN SNOW.

SNOW.

GREEN.

No point to calling a tow truck.

Three hours.

I am so close, dear diary! Just a little more work at it and I will eliminate all of those pesky toes and free time with pointless time- and body-heat-wasters!

–––––
* I figuratively, rather than literally, have too many toes on my hands. I think one would be too many toes to literally have on my hands.
** The University likes it if I do that from time to time. I almost forgot.

January 28, 2004

Thou shalt have no Idol before srah

I've been watching a lot of American Idol lately. And I have come to the same conclusion that I know you all have: srah could totally be on this show.

Srah would kick some ass on this show. Srah has the talent it takes to be Your Next American Idol. Srah will go up there, sing her song*, and blow you out of the park! Srah--

What's that? The point is not to suck? Then why are all of those people going on TV and doing it? Just to embarrass themselves in front of a national audience, without even getting paid for it? Why, that doesn't make any sense!

So much for my dreams, then.

–––––
* Which I like to call "The Theme from 'Saved By the Bell' With Added Interpretive Dance and Flaming Batons"

Kenya? Where the giraffes are. Norway? Population: Crab.

Yet another Flash cartoon from our weebly friends....

Lions and tigers gnawing on giraffes are soooooo cute. And the freaking song is sooooooo addictive.

[via Jezblog]

I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)

Today was Crazy Bubble Tea Day for some reason. I was mopey in the afternoon and frustrated at my blog-block, so I dragged Mr B------ down to Bubble Island for a treat to get us through our discussion section.

Standing in the hall and waiting to enter the classroom, we raised our glasses to a fellow bubble-tea drinker, who came over to observe our strange hot beverages in their styrofoam cups. Someone else remarked that ours were the largest straws they had ever seen, and we had to explain that the wide straws were for sucking up the bubbles of tapioca.

With three drinkers in the small(ish) class, tales of bubble tea and its virtues and oddness ran rampant throughout the room both before and after the class period and tbone demanded demandingly that we take her there when it was convenient for her (which is never).

Bubble Island should pay us for this publicity. In bubble tea.

And I start to complain that there's no school

The Argentinian exchange student, who I will henceforth refer to as Señorita C, was all excited to start school on Tuesday. I don't know why the new semester starts on a Tuesday, but it does.

She woke up around 9 on Tuesday morning and wondered why no one had woken her up or taken her to school. School had been cancelled that day, which makes some sense because there was a lot of snow on the ground and there was still a fair bit of snowage going on at the time she would have been heading to school. I don't understand why school was cancelled again today, though.

Mr B------ suggests that it's because kids today are a bunch of pansies and that back in our day, we would have gone to school and liked it. I'm not quite sure that this is true, but I am willing to go along with it for the sake of sounding like an old fart.

Shut up and blog!

"The best cure for writer's block is to write," says the old children's story. From the sea.

Yeah, thanks a lot there, old adage. I'll just get on that writing, you jerk. I'll just write a bunch of garbage that won't amuse or inform anyone.

And how would this be different from usual?

Thanks, brain. I'll be stabbing you later.

Yesterday I couldn't blog because I didn't have anything to blog about. Now I have things to blog about but I just don't feel like it. I don't have the energy to try to make my life interesting to other people.

So don't say I didn't warn you.

January 26, 2004

Variety is the spice of life... and mine is very bland

Never let it be said that I don't like to try new things.

For the record, cold almond milk tea with black bubbles is nowhere near as good as hot almond milk tea with black bubbles.

Thank you, mysterious benefactor!

Blorgy.com is a website where you can nominate and vote for your favorite posts on other people's blogs. I discovered it yesterday because someone had nominated this post as a favorite post of theirs.

Great. The one time I get nominated for something, it's for a post that the dog wrote.

We love you, Internet, oh yes we do

The Internet, cruel mistress that she is, sometimes conspires to bring us down and make us feel bad about ourselves.

But just once in a while, she will come up with something so uplifting that you instantly feel good about yourself as a person. Something that makes you want to take life by the horns and live again! You will forget all of her previous acts against you, basking in the warm, fuzzy, glowing feeling of pride that you get from being the #8 search result for this.

Wait, that's not a warm, fuzzy feeling. That's burning shame. Damn you, Internet!!!1

Tuesday (K)night plans

My boss tells me that the weather forecast for the next 24 hours is sleet and freezing rain overnight, to be followed by 4 to 6 inches of snow during the day. Weather.com, which likes to shout, tells us that

A MIX OF SLEET AND FREEZING RAIN IS EXPECTED TO MOVE INTO THE REGION TUESDAY MORNING... THEN QUICKLY TURN OVER TO SNOW. THE SNOW... POSSIBLY HEAVY AT TIMES... WILL PERSIST THROUGH THE AFTERNOON AND THEN INTO THE EVENING... GRADUALLY COMING TO AN END AFTER MIDNIGHT. TOTAL SNOWFALL ACCUMULATIONS OF 4 TO 8 INCHES ARE POSSIBLE WITH THIS STORM SYSTEM.

I really wanted to attend tomorrow's Java lecture, but I'm afraid I'll be busy dying of hypothermia in a snowdrift somewhere between my house and central campus.

January 25, 2004

Ode to the new love of my life

A reason to stay
in my room and to study:
Thank you, space heater.

Normally, mine is
the coldest room in the house.
It isn't today.

Today, only a
few sweaters are required -
Not gloves in the house.

'It's like you and I are clipped from the same coupon'

If you are a fan of good movies, you need to see The Theory of the Leisure Class. I don't recommend it because it's a good movie, but because it is so bad that after seeing it, all other movies will look ten times better and you will be able to enjoy a much wider range.

The lead actress (and co-producer) of the film is named Tuesday Knight. When we saw this on the box, we hoped it would at least be a p0rno, but it turns out the acting was too bad to be p0rn. The acting was bad, the dialogue was bad, the plot was bad, and there were millions of plot holes and loose ends... but there was an exploding car!

I hope it was made as a joke, or that the ultimate crappiness was part of the overall message of the film. It is one of those movies that you have to see with a group of friends, alcohol and low expectations. Which we did. And we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves, speculating on how much worse it could get.

(Answer: a lot worse. Blowing up a strip mall worse.)

It is terrible terrible terrible and I highly recommend that you run out and rent it today.

Unconscious Mutterings

For a limited time only! Free free free! Associations!

read extended entry... »

srah | 1:59 AM | TrackBack | Tags: memes, unconscious mutterings |

January 24, 2004

Field of cheers

If you bring it, they will come.

So said Kevin Costner, in that movie where his cheerleading squad steals all of the cheers from the high school across town and then has to compete on their own, but luckily his father walks out of the cornfield and brings his buddies from the afterlife with their blacklisted cheers from 1919.

So I should probably "bring it," if you will, and blog something.

It's been a little slow this week because I've been dealing with all of that math and a monster bake-off Thursday night, but now I have free time and a resolution to be more positive about that class... and I can't think of anything to say.

Any suggestions? Stories you'd like to hear?

January 23, 2004

Gung hay fat choy!

Happy Chinese New Year!

'Tis indeed the Year of the Monkey, srah's Chinese astrological year. Very fitting, as there is no Year of the Pirate. There hasn't been a Year of the Monkey since I was 12 and too young to appreciate it. I assure you, I will be livin' it up, Monkey-style, being clever and energetic but accident-prone and immoral.

January 22, 2004

Yes, I have a question on the homework: WTF, mate?

At this point in my SI career...

... if I had a friend who was interested in a career as an information professional of some sort and was looking at U-M, I would tell them to turn around and run as fast as they possibly can.

... if I hadn't already spent a semester's worth of time and tuition here, I would be thinking about dropping out.

... if I felt that the Choice & Learning foundations course was actually building a foundation for my career as an information professional, I would be rethinking my career path.

... I am so annoyed by this class and the idea that I should have to take it that I can't find any words to express my anger and frustration so I just want to scream and cry and swear and tear my hair out (and rhyme, apparently).

Up yours, SI 502! I am not in grad school to do math! I can't even focus on the classes I do like, because you are sapping my time and energy. Kindly eat me.

January 21, 2004

Because I enjoy sitting on my ass in the dark for long stretches of time

Here are the IMDb's top 100 movies - with the ones I've seen in bold. Which of the rest do you recommend?

read extended entry... »

1. Godfather, The (1972)
2. Shawshank Redemption, The (1994)
3. Godfather: Part II, The (1974)
4. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003)
5. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)
6. Casablanca (1942)
7. Schindler's List (1993)
8. Shichinin no samurai (1954)
9. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001)
10. Citizen Kane (1941)
11. Star Wars (1977)
12. One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
13. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
14. Rear Window (1954)
15. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
16. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
17. Memento (2000)
18. Usual Suspects, The (1995)
19. Pulp Fiction (1994)
20. North by Northwest (1959)
21. Fabuleux destin d'Amelie Poulain, Le (2001)
22. Psycho (1960)
23. 12 Angry Men (1957)
24. Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
25. Silence of the Lambs, The (1991)
26. Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il (1966)
27. It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
28. Goodfellas (1990)
29. American Beauty (1999)
30. Vertigo (1958)
31. Sunset Blvd. (1950)
32. Pianist, The (2002)
33. Matrix, The (1999)
34. Apocalypse Now (1979)
35. To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
36. Some Like It Hot (1959)
37. Taxi Driver (1976)
38. Paths of Glory (1957)
39. Third Man, The (1949)
40. C'era una volta il West (1968)
41. Fight Club (1999)
42. Boot, Das (1981)
43. Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001)
44. Double Indemnity (1944)
45. L.A. Confidential (1997)
46. Chinatown (1974)
47. Singin' in the Rain (1952)
48. Requiem for a Dream (2000)
49. Maltese Falcon, The (1941)
50. M (1931)
51. All About Eve (1950)
52. Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957)
53. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
54. Se7en (1995)
55. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
56. Cidade de Deus (2002)
57. Raging Bull (1980)
58. Wizard of Oz, The (1939)
59. Rashomon (1950)
60. Sting, The (1973)
61. American History X (1998)
62. Alien (1979)
63. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
64. Leon (The Professional) (1994)
65. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
66. Vita bella, La (1997) (Life Is Beautiful)
67. Touch of Evil (1958)
68. Manchurian Candidate, The (1962)
69. Wo hu cang long (2000)
70. Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948)
71. Great Escape, The (1963)
72. Clockwork Orange, A (1971)
73. Reservoir Dogs (1992)
74. Annie Hall (1977)
75. Amadeus (1984)
76. Jaws (1975)
77. Ran (1985)
78. On the Waterfront (1954)
79. Modern Times (1936)
80. High Noon (1952)
81. Braveheart (1995)
82. Apartment, The (1960)
83. Sixth Sense, The (1999)
84. Fargo (1996)
85. Aliens (1986)
86. Shining, The (1980)
87. Blade Runner (1982)
88. Strangers on a Train (1951)
89. Duck Soup (1933)
90. Metropolis (1927)
91. Finding Nemo (2003)
92. Donnie Darko (2001)
93. Toy Story 2 (1999)
94. Princess Bride, The (1987)
95. General, The (1927)
96. City Lights (1931)
97. Lola rennt (1998) (Run Lola Run)
98. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
99. Notorious (1946)
100. Sjunde inseglet, Det (1957)

[via diner bitch]

« ... hide extended entry

January 20, 2004

The full extent of my political involvement

I hereby vow to donate $5 to Dubya's campaign fund if the State of the Union address begins:

"My fellow Americans, the state of the union is... it sux0rs."

And he has to pronounce it "sucksors" or it's a no-go.

Update (21:12): Sucks to be you, Georgie! Them five bucks is gettin' spent on bubble tea!

'Gondor has no pants. Gondor needs no pants.'

Did you know that there is a whole other world out there, existing in the same time and space as our own? This is the world of the People Who Think That Pants Should Be Introduced Into The Lord Of The Rings. After seeing these shots from the terrible cartoon version of the movie, I am inclined to agree with them.

"Do not meddle in the pants of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger."

[via fujikosmurf]

January 19, 2004

Quick! Lose all respect for me by reading on!

I totally just joined Friendster. Shut up. I am always up on the latest trends like that. I like to think of myself as jumping on the bandwagon just as it's about to hurtle off the cliff and burst into flames.

She's mighty, my tea

Dear People At Work,

Please stop stealing my tea. It wouldn't bother me so much if there were one or two of you taking it in order to drink it on your own, but you tend to take the box, which is clearly marked with my initials and set it out whenever there's a presentation, offering it to millions of strangers.

Oh, and while we're at it,

Dear People Who Come to My Workplace,

Please stop being so rigid and unmovable. You are never going to find an internship if you reject all of my suggestions for no apparent reason other than you think you might have heard something about the program once and maybe it wasn't very good.

Also, stop being moist and floppy*. Telling me you want to study abroad somewhere but you don't know where and you don't know what you want to study is not going to help me help you. Please narrow it down...

–––––
*MOIST?! FLOPPY?!

Goin' to the chapel and we're gonna get... uh...

The Man wants to screw homosexuals out of a verb*.

Heterosexuals can "marry" or "get married". Now they're talking about offering homosexuals the possibility of "civil unions," so as not to cheapen the sacred vows of marriage. So what do they do? Do they get civil unionized? That sounds like they're miners or auto workers. Civilly united? That sounds like two people who can barely stand each other being sewn together (which is almost as good an image as terrible p0rn!). Sucks to be you, gay people. You are second-class citizens, so no verbs for you!

I had always assumed that marriage was a legal state, but all of the arguments I've heard seem to be about how homosexuality is against God and immoral and things like that. So apparently this is a religious issue instead.

So, in the interest of the separation of church and state, let's abolish the legal state of marriage altogether and have civil unions for everyone. Then, if your own specific religion condones your specific pairing, you can go on ahead and get married in that religion. And whether you're married or not, you'll have the same rights in the eyes of the law.

* Now there's a phrase you don't hear every day.

Dream

I had a dream where my mom, my sister and I went out to dinner. Mr B------ had a second job bartending at this restaurant, but he didn't see us when we came in. I ordered a Coke with lemon and lime slices in the hopes that he would recognize my drink order and realize I was there. Unfortunately, our waiter filled our drink orders himself.

This restaurant had a floating appetizer buffet. All of the tables in the restaurant were arranged around a pool in the center that had a rotating current, like the duck pond game at carnivals. The appetizers were on floating dishes, so you had to reach in and pull them out. There were also ducks and swans swimming around in the pool among the appetizers.

XXX Live webcam - hot young great-grandmas cooking! XXX

Mr B------ was in the kitchen and I called to him from the living room.

"When you come back, will you bring the caramel corn?"

"What about a horn?"

"Caramel CORN. Will you bring the caramel corn?"

"Terrible whore?"

"What? Terrible p0rn? No, I said CARAMEL CORN!!!!1"

He finally understood what I'd been saying and tossed me the bag. Eventually I recovered from the mental image of terrible p0rn, with people completely dressed and glaring at each other from across the room, but he only started my hysterical laughter again when he added,

"You know, my great-grandmother made that caramel corn."

January 18, 2004

What they need's a damn good whacking

Number of friends I have who have recently had head injuries: two.

Anyone interested in increasing that number? Just step a little closer to me and this big stick I have behind my back.

Unconscious Mutterings

Yo yo yo, mah peeps. Wassup? Free associations to follow. Peek not!

read extended entry... »

January 17, 2004

The gag reflex leaves me answered with a question mark

"I'm soooooo tiiiiiiiiired," I whined.

"You're always tired. Maybe you should take some vitamins or something," suggested Mr B------.

No! I don't take vitamins! Vitamins are for people who don't get adequate nutrition from their daily diets. Whereas I eat a very rounded diet of... lentil soup, Junior Mints and bubble tea. Oops. Huh. When did that happen? And more importantly, how have I survived this long?

So when I went to the store last night, I stood in front of the multivitamin shelves, bewildered. Where are all of the Flintstones Women's Vitamins? Why don't they have chewable vitamins for adults? I shook the packages of swallow-needy tablets to try to determine which sounded smaller and bought the Meijer brand, which ended up still being enormous.

I never successfully swallowed a pill until I went on a class trip in 8th grade and got a headache so bad I couldn't just ignore it. All they had was Grown Up Tylenol, so I had to suck it up and take it like a man. I choked on the first one and it sat in my mouth for a while, dissolving its disgusting flavour until I had to spit it out. Once I realized how bad they were going to taste, I managed to swallow the second one with a big glass of water.

If you know the relative sizes of a Tylenol and a multivitamin, you may understand where those wheezing and *gack gack gack* noises heard 'round the world were coming from. I have so much to look forward to! How about if I just waste away to nothing instead?

'They don't have anything. They come from the MOON!'

"A national mission to a far-away place where glory awaits and no rebel movement lurks will help Americans forget about the continuing problems in Iraq and portray the president as a peaceful visionary."
- "World press pans US Mars shot"

I am constantly amazed by the numbers of people who don't realize that Bush has made a laughingstock of our country and driven our already arrogant and ignorant reputation further into the ground.

The sad thing is, you can't just tell them this. You can't just inform them of what he's done, because they don't care. These are the same people who are waving their little flags and saying that if you don't like George Bush or war with Iraq, you should leave the country, because that's the way we do things here. If other countries don't like the way we do things, then fine - we don't need them anyway.

Their minds are completely infused with the "USA all the way" mentality and they're the ones who should be leaving the country. They need to get out and experience the real world and when they're good and experienced, then I'll let them back in.

[via Mr B------]

January 16, 2004

Pitcher's got a big butt! Pitcher's got a big butt!

My sister is cleaning out her room in preparation for the arrival of The Argentine and has stumbled across a jackpot of blackmail material.

It was 1993 and Rookie of the Year had just come out. I was thirteen, for god's sake!

Yes, okay, I liked Thomas Ian Nicholas a little bit.

Yes, okay, maybe a little more than a little bit.

I may, technically, have had, like, 18 million posters of him. I may, technically, have bought hundreds of thousands of teenybopper magazines during my middle school years and decorated my school binders with pictures of him.

Or I may not have! I guess you'll never know!

Phew! Good save! They'll never guess the truth!

Una hermana nueva en la casa

It's final: we're going to take the exchange student. We have an interview tomorrow morning to make sure we're not dope fiends or operating a brothel from out of the home or whatever it is they have to screen host families for. All curses aside, I'm happy.

Between all of the visits to France we've made, my sister and I have had five short- or long-term host families. Some were good, some were great and some left me in front of the TV, which was okay because without that, I never would have seen It dubbed into French.

"Ils flottent, Georgie... et ici tu flotteras, toi aussi..."

Hey, don't knock it till you've tried it! All crap movies are infinitely better dubbed into foreign languages and it's not until you get home and watch them again that you realize how crap they really are.

Where was I?

Ah yes, so the first time I went to France, they didn't find me a host family until a couple of days before I left, so I know what she's going through. I've had my share of host families, good and bad, so I'm really hoping this will be a positive experience for her and we won't scare her too much.

Caw! Caw!

Economics, as far as I can tell so far, seems to be all about defining problems and finding feasible solutions to them.

Feasible schmeasible. Who's to say it's not feasible to hitch a ride to the Rose Bowl on a giant eagle?

Economics is for people with no imagination.

January 15, 2004

Srah's Musical Quiz IV: A New Hope

Alfie inspires me. A delightful collection of quotes from a combination of Broadway- and movie-musicals are to follow. Guess the song/musical!

Whenever they say you're slightly unconventional/ Just put your thumb up to your nose [Mame - Open a New Window]
Play with appropriate passion [Kismet - Night of My Nights]
He is equally cunning with dice [Cats - Mr Mistoffelees]
For those old honky tonk monkeyshines [Singin' in the Rain - Make 'Em Laugh]
Deep down you know tomorrow is your toy [Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory - Cheer Up Charlie]
Silver spoons were used for feeding us [Hello Dolly! - We Got Elegance]
Don't talk of stars, burning above [My Fair Lady - Show Me]
They look so natural together [Fiddler on the Roof - Sunrise, Sunset]
How lovely to sit here in the shade [Gigi - I'm So Glad That I'm Not Young Anymore]
I'm full of vitamin A [42nd Street - Young and Healthy]

Thanks for playing!

Got a rocket in your pocket?

Or are you just happy to see me?

Good ol' Alfreda has another musicals quiz...

A quarter of the way to fame and fortune!

25%

There's a 25% chance that I'll win a Bloggie™.
What's Your Chance to Win a Bloggie™?

I highly suspect I'm not even nominated.

[via pickle juice]

Curse of the Argentine

"Should we get an Argentinian exchange student?" my mom asked.

Apparently there is one on the market and the local exchange student coordinator hasn't been able to find a home for her. She was supposed to go to one family, but the coordinator just found out they're in the middle of a divorce. So she found another family for the girl, but then the father got laid off and said that they couldn't afford to take her. She arrives tomorrow and the coordinator is desperate.

"We'd better not take her!" I exclaimed, "Divorce, unemployment... clearly she's cursed!"

"Yeah," my dad pointed out, "You just mentioned taking her and now our car's been stolen!"

Is it not... INVISIBLE?

Soon after Alfie turned 16, she bought a 1987 VW Golf from a friend of the family. She never managed to learn to drive a stick-shift, so she ended up buying a Saturn automatic a couple of years later. So the Golf has been sitting in front of our house ever since. We've been hoping we could sell it to some poor high school student in order to get rid of it, but it's a piece of junk, so no one's been interested. So there it sits. Or sat.

My parents came home from work today.

"You're home!" my father pointed out, surprised.

"Why wouldn't I be?"

"Where's the Golf?"

"The Golf?"

"It's not in front of the house... we assumed you had problems with the other car, so you took that one."

We've stared out the window several times and unless it's been miniaturized or invisiblized, it's not there. It's funny, because most people would freak out if they discovered their car had been stolen or towed or dematerialized. We're just kind of wandering around the house, scratching our heads and wondering if we should bother calling the police, or just be relieved to be rid of it.

Hello, world!

One Java lab down. I'm not dead yet. I didn't burst into tears, either, and I even followed along as we created programs to do such fascinating things as print a character string to the screen and carry on intriguing dialogue like:

program: What is your name?
srah-user: Mr B------ sucks
program: Hello, Mr B------ sucks!

You may now address me as srah, Java Programmer Extraordinaire! Coming soon to a toaster near you!

Everybody else is answering it

So... this quiz was crap and you all hate me. I fully accept all shenanigans called on me, since I just threw the quiz together in, like, half an hour. Read on to see the answers...

read extended entry... »

1. What is my middle name?
Anne 6
Ann 9
Abigail 10
Amelia 1
Adelaide 0

Pretty darn correct. I think this is one of those things that I've never mentioned in my blog, but quite a few of you guessed correctly.

2. What is the Devil Dog's name?
A.J. 2
Nick 1
Brian 3
Kevin 3
Howie 17

Yes, all of his rage is based on being named after one of the Backstreet Boys, namely the guacamole-loving one.

3. In which class did I get an A+ last semester?
501 - Use of Information 9
504 - Social Systems & Collections 6
540 - Understanding Networked Computing 3
682 - User Interface Design 8

User Interface Design was leading for a while there, obviously based on your recognition of my skills in that area... but it was in 501 that I got an A+, all by riding on the coattails of my groupmates. I don't think I mentioned this in my blog either, so it's completely understandable if you got it wrong. Guessing is fun, folks! Right?

4. Which is not one of my favorite movies?
Sliding Doors 2
The Empire Strikes Back 12
Tampopo 5
Amélie 1
Pirates of Penzance 6

Yars. I know it's everyone's favorite, but I never got into it much. It makes me want to punch Lando Calrissian in the nuts and the part where they land in something's stomach has always freaked me out. I prefer Return of the Jedi, ewoks and all.

5. Of these, which is my favorite color?
Black 1
Green 12
Yellow 1
Blue 7
Red 5

Yeah, uh, my own mother didn't know this one, so I don't know how you could be expected to. It might be in my 100 things, but I can't remember. More guessing.

6. My favorite flavour of bubble tea is:
Almond 8
Coconut 10
Papaya 3
Strawberry 3
Oreo 2

This one was in my blog. For shame!

7. I spent Easter 2001:
Pretending to be a bell 0
In a French monastery 5
Throwing up 4
Both 1 and 2 5
Both 2 and 3 12

For this one, you had to know a couple of things. First, you had to know that I spent Easter 2001 in a monastery, hiding Easter eggs. Then you had to know that in France, Easter eggs and candy are brought by the Easter bell rather than the Easter bunny. Then you had to remember this and put it together... I like that you all think I throw up on all major holidays, though!

8. My favourite flavour of ice cream is:
Peppermint 1
Mint chocolate chip 8
Chocolate 4
Coffee 13
Coconut 0

Mmmmmmm. I'm sure I've mentioned it somewhere.

9. My sister's name is:
Alfreda 3
Alexis 1
Rebecca 17
Stephanie 3
Emily 2

The three votes for Alfreda make my mother very sad. Yes, as I sometimes slip and call Alfie Becky, many of you had caught on.

10. Which of the following is true?
I danced on the altar at Salisbury Cathedral. 3
My maternal grandmother was a spy in WWII. 0
I studied Chinese for one semester. 13
I spent a year living and teaching in the Puy-de-Dome department of France. 6
None of these are true.

They're all close: I danced on the altar at Winchester Cathedral, accidentally convinced my students that my grandmother was a spy and spent a year living and teaching in the Allier department.

« ... hide extended entry

January 14, 2004

Urstodial updation

Ursula's out of the ICU, but still in the hospital. And has blogged!

And now you can share in the pain!

n
<(|||)( )=:
u

I have had the "bringing home a baby bumblebee" song in my head for two hours.

Cancel school! Cancel school!

It's snowing like cats and dogs here. If cats and dogs snowed.

It's snowing like dandruff. Except "snow" isn't really a method performed by the object "dandruff" either. Dandruff just looks like snow. Hmmm, scratch that one too.

So it's snowing like... like the weather. When it snows.

Ah, simile. This is why I'm not a writer.

srah | 2:31 PM | TrackBack | Tags: weather |

January 13, 2004

Yelp!

Dear Girl Who Lives in My House,

Why are you always stepping on me?

You must be getting old and blind and senile, because you should always know where I am; I am right next to your feet. Or lying across the doorway when you come out of the shower with fogged-up glasses. Or standing in the middle of the hallway as the teakettle is whistling or the phone is ringing.

Seriously, you'd think you'd catch on after a while!

Geez, sometimes I even help you out by walking in the same direction you're going, in such a way that you can't get around me. I always make sure to do this nice and slowly so that we can spend Quality Time together in the hallway. And yet you seem to have a problem with this.

You must be getting old.

Love,
The Devil Dog

P.S. I might have to go out right now. Or maybe not. How about we go to the back door and I take a look outside to see if I want to? Atta girl.

Dream

I dreamt I was shopping for a Christmas present for Keith, since the one I'd gotten him had fallen through. There was a lot of pressure to come up with a great gift immediately. Then I discovered that one of the shop assistants was the Urstodian's friend Lauren, so I just sat on the floor and talked to her instead of shopping. She tried to sell us stuff in the store, but none of it seemed like stuff Keith would like and she said the food was all way too old to be edible.

Then I went to the ATM and I was annoyed because my bank doesn't print the balance at the bottom of the receipts (it doesn't, and this does annoy me) so you have to waste time and paper by printing out the balance separately and you have to remember to do this before you do a withdrawal or else the machine will spit out your card and you'll have to do it again. Anyway, it's annoying and in my dream, I was suddenly struck with a spirit of difference-making, so I went up to the counter, ready to fight and get them to change this. I didn't know exactly what to do, so I sort of stuttered over my words.

"Do... do you have, like, a hmmmm, a complaints form? Or comments? You know?"

The teller looked at me with disdain and repeated my words in that "mee mee mee mee" mocking tone that you really can't capture on the Internet, handing me a piece of paper which may or may not have been a comments form but I didn't get a good look at it because I was distracted by getting pinched on the butt.

I turned around and it was Rotolu, who I haven't seen since high school. He disappeared to get some food from the food court and I left the bank area and told my friends I'd gotten a comments form and that I'd been sexually harassed. "... by HIM!" I said, pointing, and Rotolu came over to where we were and we went to Kroger's together.

January 12, 2004

And now: Leonard Nimoy reads srah blah blah

Natalie has a crapload of Simpsons quotes on her blog today, one of which reminds me of my blog so much that I can't decide whether to be overwhelmingly sad or overwhelmingly happy. So I will be overwhelmingly had and sappy*.

Leonard Nimoy: Hello, I'm Leonard Nimoy. The following tale of alien encounter is true and by true, I mean false. It's all lies. But they're entertaining lies, and in the end isn't that the real truth? The answer is no.

Anyway, go over there and waste some time reading those when you should be learning how to program in Java.

Not that I know anyone who did that.

Ahem.

* Now I kind of wish I'd been choosing between being happy or crazy!

Blog it Forward

"The rules are really simple. For those of you who are new to this, all you have to do is pick someone from your blogroll and post (on your site) just what makes them blogworthy."

And so I bring you... three random sites from my blogroll. And when I say random, I mean I have my eyes closed! I have my eyes closed and I'm mousing around and now I'm going to click and-- That wasn't my blogroll. I have my eyes closed and I'm mousing around the general area where my blogroll should be and the winner is... Blogrolling. Crap. I have my eyes closed again and I'm mousing a bit higher and the first winner is...

1) Jezblog

No, seriously, it is. It's good old Jezzles, who doesn't blog nearly as frequently about the horrors of Paris now that he's moved to Yorkshire (fancy that!).

Jez found me (or I found him, I don't know which anymore) last year while I was in the m�diath�que de Vichy, struggling with the computers that like to reset when you don't wiggle the mouse often enough. It's actually kind of strange that I remember that! The first interaction I remember with Jez was

We'll collect the moments one by one/ I guess that's how the future's done - Feist, 'Mushaboom'

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January 2004 archive

January 29, 2004

January 28, 2004

January 26, 2004

January 25, 2004

January 24, 2004

January 23, 2004

January 22, 2004

January 21, 2004

January 20, 2004

January 19, 2004

January 18, 2004

January 17, 2004

January 16, 2004

January 15, 2004

January 14, 2004

January 13, 2004

January 12, 2004

We'll collect the moments one by one/ I guess that's how the future's done
- Feist, 'Mushaboom'