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Dear Girl Who Lives in My House,

Why are you always stepping on me?

You must be getting old and blind and senile, because you should always know where I am; I am right next to your feet. Or lying across the doorway when you come out of the shower with fogged-up glasses. Or standing in the middle of the hallway as the teakettle is whistling or the phone is ringing.

Seriously, you'd think you'd catch on after a while!

Geez, sometimes I even help you out by walking in the same direction you're going, in such a way that you can't get around me. I always make sure to do this nice and slowly so that we can spend Quality Time together in the hallway. And yet you seem to have a problem with this.

You must be getting old.

Love,
The Devil Dog

P.S. I might have to go out right now. Or maybe not. How about we go to the back door and I take a look outside to see if I want to? Atta girl.

srah - Tuesday, 13 January 2004 - 10:12 AM
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Comments (16)

gravatar alfie - January 13, 2004 - 11:10 AM -

Joel said the reason that the dog hates me is because I named him after a Backstreet Boy.

gravatar katie - January 13, 2004 - 12:10 PM -

Your dog actually has to think about going outside? With mine, you just casually mention the "O" word, and they shoot to the door like rockets!

gravatar srah - January 13, 2004 - 12:15 PM -

Well, every five minutes or so he scratches and whines and jumps on me until I walk to the back door, but he only actually decides to go out every once in a while. I think he thinks I need more exercise. Maybe to keep my old, brittle bones in shape.

gravatar katie - January 13, 2004 - 1:12 PM -

That's your new nickname. Ol' Brittle Bones McNitt.

gravatar Hilatron - January 13, 2004 - 4:53 PM -

My cat Murray (aka Mr. Stinkypants) has similar feelings about constantly being stepped on, tripped over, and cursed at. His favorite thing is to wait until you are engrossed in something in the kitchen, then sit patiently behind you until you back up, so that he can give you his trademark "Injured Innocence" look. It's a winner every time!

gravatar Hilatron - January 13, 2004 - 4:53 PM -

My cat Murray (aka Mr. Stinkypants) has similar feelings about constantly being stepped on, tripped over, and cursed at. His favorite thing is to wait until you are engrossed in something in the kitchen, then sit patiently behind you until you back up, so that he can give you his trademark "Injured Innocence" look. It's a winner every time!

gravatar Hilatron - January 13, 2004 - 4:53 PM -

My cat Murray (aka Mr. Stinkypants) has similar feelings about constantly being stepped on, tripped over, and cursed at. His favorite thing is to wait until you are engrossed in something in the kitchen, then sit patiently behind you until you back up, so that he can give you his trademark "Injured Innocence" look. It's a winner every time!

gravatar jday - January 13, 2004 - 6:36 PM -

It's kinda hard to step on my dogs, as they are bigger than some human beings (*cough, little srah, cough*). Of course, they are bigger than me, too, and I'm 5'10".

gravatar EV - January 13, 2004 - 8:27 PM -

Dude, a triple dose of Tron! Well I love you, so it's ok. Anyhoo, it took me a good few minutes to figure out that your dog was writing that. *I* must be getting old.

gravatar tbone - January 13, 2004 - 11:11 PM -

when do I get to meet the devil dog? do you think he'll like me? maybe he can play with my dog.

gravatar srah - January 13, 2004 - 11:15 PM -

I hope your dog eats him.

gravatar Mommy - January 13, 2004 - 11:21 PM -

That is a terrible thing to say. Howie is a very sweet little dog, except when he sleeps on the couch. I am definitely getting some mouse traps.

gravatar Jez - January 14, 2004 - 8:33 AM -

You're too hard on that dog - I bet he's great, really.

gravatar katie - January 14, 2004 - 8:38 AM -

Mouse traps? So that his paws would get caught if he tried to get on the sofa? What if you forgot they were there and sat on one?

gravatar Greg - January 14, 2004 - 1:33 PM -

MUSHROOM LOVER

gravatar srah - January 14, 2004 - 7:39 PM -

The dog bit me! He is that bad!

And yes, Greg, and proud of it!

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