29 entries from srah blah blah tagged with 'stories':


Choose Your Own Blogventure 2: The Science Fiction Edition

I am participating in NPW's Choose Your Own Blogventure. My section of the story is below the jump, but if you'd like to begin at the beginning of the story and choose your own blogventure, you can start here....

srah - Friday, 1 August 2008 - 9:57 AM
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The Most Exciting Thing That Happened to Me Over Break, by Srah, age Seven (or in the style thereof)

The most exciting thing that happened to me over break was when I lost my hat. It was a red hat. It was windy when I lost my hat. My hat flew right off my head! I could not chase my hat because my hat was blown away. My hat plus the wind equals faster than me. I hope a homeless person finds my hat and my hat keeps the homeless person's head warm. It is a good hat. I miss my hat. The End....

srah - Wednesday, 2 January 2008 - 12:49 PM
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Baby's in Reno, by srah

Required elements for Jamelah's story challenge: Title: Baby's in Reno Elements: - Nine ladies dancing - A photograph that's been torn in half - A snow globe - A fake beard - Bacon Joey killed the headlights and put the car in neutral as he pulled into a spot in the motel parking lot. He poked Virginia in the shoulder and she slowly woke up, stretching and yawning. "Where are we?" she rubbed her eyes. "Just crossed the state line into Nevada. I think we'd better stop for the night." "How much longer do we have to go?" "I'd say...

srah - Monday, 18 December 2006 - 9:44 AM
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'You must be very proud'

tbone and Mr tbone got married this weekend in Retarded Cleveland (so monikered by the bride herself) and for some reason, I was invited. I know, it surprised me too! Who would want me at a wedding? This question raised itself even more once I got there, because I am clearly a social retard. The ceremony was lovely and tbone, as I predicted, laughed through most of it. It was nice to see her so happy and Lock so emotional and I'm glad he didn't cry because that would have set me off and I would have been a mess....

srah - Monday, 31 May 2004 - 12:21 PM
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I do not like green snow or ham. I do not like them. SAM I am.

Dear Diary, Sometimes I feel like I just have too much free time on my hands! And too many toes*! So today I set out to remedy that situation. I gave tbone and Mr B------ a ride to school this morning, dear diary, and managed to get myself trapped in a snowdrift whilst trying to parallel park. They claimed I was "good enough" even though I was angled out into the street, but I tried pulling forward and backward and got nothing but tire-spinning from the process. I finally forced my riders to get out of the car and push,...

srah - Thursday, 29 January 2004 - 6:47 PM
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The beginning (and end) of srah's illustrious directing career

When I was a senior in high school, I directed the church's Christmas pageant. This was not because of any interest in religion or religious displays or any love for the church, since all of this had been waning for years. I volunteered to direct the Christmas pageant because I was tired of years without Christmas pageants and of years with strange, new updated versions of the Christmas pageant. I remembered Christmas pageants when I was young - the same script, the same songs and the same parts year after year. It was tradition and you always knew what to...

srah - Wednesday, 24 December 2003 - 11:12 AM
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The sword is mightier than the pen, pal

When I was in fifth grade, our class did a penpal exchange with a school in Texas. They tried to match boys up with boys and girls with girls (because the opposite sex was, at that time, ostensibly still cootie-ridden), but the numbers didn't match up quite exactly. So I got matched up with a boy. And did I get matched up with a good-looking boy with common interests to make up for it? No. They sent us their class picture with the letters and mine was the nerdy-looking one, front and center, sitting cross-legged in such a way that...

srah - Thursday, 4 September 2003 - 4:35 PM
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The Day the Lights Went Out

15:30. I'm sitting at my computer, reloading and reloading Internet Explorer, annoyed that the Albion email server still isn't up. I'm feeling there's something missing in my life. When I was in France, there was a sense of newness and adventure. Everything was a new experience. Right now, there is too little adventure in my life. I consider blogging about it, but decide that blogging about the lack of adventure would be really boring. I despair and return to work. 16:15. The lights flicker, then I lose power to my computer, losing whatever file I was working on. This is...

srah - Saturday, 16 August 2003 - 10:00 AM
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Guardians of culinary justice

Yesterday, going to Dominicks, we went to park in a parking structure. A maniac in a red car came careening around the corner in the structure, heading right at us, and I yelped and pointed, OH MY GOD WE'RE GOING TO DIE IS THAT A PIZZA ON HIS ROOF? Robin braked out of fear, the driver reacted and pulled to the right, and disaster was avoided. The crazy driver saw me pointing and stopped his car next to ours. We pointed at the top of his car. "There's a pizza on your roof," we informed him. He rolled down his...

srah - Saturday, 9 August 2003 - 2:29 PM
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Thrilling Wednesday night

Robin and I played Scrabble last night (I will refrain from metioning Rummikub because I was thoroughly trounced) and I won, with the two of us working together to find words like toile, zone and quo in each other's letters, and with a whopping winning score of 246. After the game, Robin took a look at the box, which reported that a good Scrabble player should score at least 300 points.  Damned box.  What the hell do you know, anyway?  I'd like to see you do a crossword puzzle, Mr Smarty Smarty Board Game Box. Now I remember why I play Scrabble on...

srah - Thursday, 10 July 2003 - 2:12 PM
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And now, another... Good Idea, Bad Idea

Good Idea: Scheduling the time you have to take off for Wednesday morning so you can sleep in. Bad Idea: Scheduling the time you have to take off for the Wednesday morning when the roof is being replaced. It sounds like Godzilla is playing with my house, and like eventually he's going to break through the roof and get me. It sounds like the roofers are just jumping up and down and occasionally falling through the roof, rather than doing any replacing. It sounds like they are scraping every shingle up by hand, whereas the loud drone of machinery would...

srah - Wednesday, 9 July 2003 - 8:35 AM
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Soaping up the weiner

Last night, I got a frantic call from Robin. She was at the car wash, and I had to come join her. What did I see when I got there? The Oscar Mayer Weinermobile. At the car wash. This is one of the times when I realize I need a digital camera....

srah - Friday, 27 June 2003 - 11:59 AM
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The balloon that ate Ann Arbor

Katie has requested that I recount for her The Story of the Balloon. It is a frightening story, so I suggest that you hold onto your socks and tighten your diapers. Not really. It's mostly just a really stupid story about Why I Hate Balloons. When I went to France in 1996 with my high school group, my mom bought me a balloon when I came back. It's a strange tradition in our family to buy balloons for people returning from Abroad. The balloon was shaped like a moon and had a face on it. It lived in my room...

srah - Friday, 27 June 2003 - 11:56 AM
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Worst. Reality check. Ever.

Today on the way home from Antrosio's barbecue, I ended up stopping at a light behind a car with an "Albion College Alumni" windshield decal. As I examined the car further, I discovered that it had a Linuxgrüven bumper sticker and one of those oval stickers, showing that the driver had been to Germany. Hmmm, I thought to myself, Albion College, computers, foreign travel... that's me driving that car! So I changed lanes in order to get a look at my doppelganger. And who was it? The Simpsons' Comic Book Guy in human form. Flattering....

srah - Saturday, 7 June 2003 - 6:43 PM
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You can go back, but you have to wear a name tag

I went back to my high school today to visit my former French teacher. As I walked in the building, the first thing that hit me was the smell. Not that it was a bad smell, but smell has a way of triggering memories more than the other senses, I think. All of a sudden, I felt like I was back in that period of 1994-98 where I actually belonged there. But I didn't, and because I am a Suspicious Outsider, I had to go to the main office and sign in as a visitor. We didn't have any of...

srah - Thursday, 5 June 2003 - 11:28 AM
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I can't get no satisfaction

Today was a day of halves and not-quites. I had my visite medicale in Clermont-Ferrand, beginning with the lung x-ray at 2pm. I left Vichy at 12:00 because the next train was at 1:07 and wouldn't get me to Clermont until 1:40. I was concerned that I would not have enough time to find the office if I arrived with twenty minutes to spare. So I arrived at 12:40 instead, looked at my convocation to see the address of the radiography center, and discovered that my appointment was at 2:30, so I was wandering around Clermont for two hours for...

srah - Wednesday, 11 December 2002 - 3:21 PM
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Away in a Very Crowded Manger

What I loved about our church Christmas pageants when I was little was that it was the same every year. You might start out as a sheep, but by the time you were a bit older, you could have the script and the songs nearly memorized and would be all set for one of the juicy roles like Mary or a Wise Man (no one wants to be Joseph - he's boring and has to hang around with a girl). I was offered the part of Mary once, but I didn't want to be Mary to Scott Weber's Joseph. I...

srah - Tuesday, 3 December 2002 - 2:59 PM
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"Handicapped"

Earlier this week, I was walking out of Borders and going to my car. As I walked through the parking lot, a car came driving striaght at me. I thought it was angling to get into a parking space, but it kept coming towards me. I very awkwardly jumped out of the way... just as it pulled into a handicapped parking space. Uh, I hate to tell you this, lady, but eligibility for a handicapped space is not based on how many people you have handicapped....

srah - Friday, 20 September 2002 - 6:39 AM
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The waitstaff would like to ask you to leave, ma'am

I was cursed yesterday with waitpersons who, for some reason I never identified, hated me. Or they hated everyone at our table. But mostly me. At lunch, we went to the restaurant whose name I can never remember. Either Round Robin or Red Robin. Anyway. We sat at the same table we sat at all three times I've been there. I'm going to start calling it my "usual table". Last time, it was I who hated the waitress, because she kept calling me "hon". Different waitress this time, but equally evil. We all placed our orders and the waitress left....

srah - Friday, 7 June 2002 - 9:12 AM
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Tales from the gas station

I never ever get hit on, but I think the gas station attendant was trying to pick me up last night. I had really stupid pigtails sticking out of the sides of my head and I was clearly an idiot because I don't know how to flip up the little thingy before I start pumping gas, but apparently that wasn't important to him. Or maybe he liked me because I was stupid. Or maybe he was just really bored and lonely. I'm not going to bore you with the details of our fascinating conversation, but I will tell you that...

srah - Thursday, 6 June 2002 - 9:52 AM
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Becky called me a murderer

I hit a raccoon tonight as I was driving Alex home from the movie theatre. I think it was unavoidable, but I'm having trouble distinguishing reality from the lies I've been telling myself to make me feel better. I think there was a car coming from the other direction and another one right behind me. I think he came out of nowhere. I know I tried to avoid actually running him over, hoping that the car would just pass over him, but I felt a thump. When I drove back home, I scanned the road for him, hoping that I...

srah - Tuesday, 4 June 2002 - 11:26 PM
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Jill blah blah

My family and I went to the graduation party of a family friend today. Our families are friends because our mothers were in the same Mothers' Group before Nathan and I were born, then both Nathan and I and Becky and Galen (the graduate) went to nursery school together. We saw each other at Halloween every year for quite a while, but drifted apart as we got older. We still exchange Christmas cards and get updates on what they're doing, and invite each other to graduation parties. I'm not sure if he had any say in the decision, but about...

srah - Sunday, 2 June 2002 - 11:20 PM
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BUNNY!

Yesterday when we arrived at work, there was a bunny sitting on the lawn. "Bunny!" I exclaimed. The bunny hopped. "Bunny!" I pointed out to my father. The bunny hopped. "Bunny! Come here so I can hug you and love you forever!" I cried. The bunny took off like a shot across the lawn. Smart bunny....

srah - Saturday, 1 June 2002 - 10:38 AM
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Whazzat?

And in English... While mixing the salad, I heard the telephone ringing. I dropped the salad bowl and ran quickly to the living room, where I found it was only the TV and the phone wasn't really ringing. I swore a little and went back to the kitchen, where I found an elephant eating my salad. I scolded him and asked him politely to leave my apartment. He refused and continued to eat my salad and step on my kitchen chairs. I was drowning! I was drowning in a sea of orange. Then someone hit me on the back and...

srah - Wednesday, 24 April 2002 - 4:58 PM
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I wish I could still write in the passé simple

I spent my last French class writing little stories to keep myself from going mad. Forgive the grammatical errors – it's been a while since I learned anything. En mélangeant la salade, j'ai entendu le téléphone qui sonnait. J'ai laissé tomber le saladier et couru les pieds au cou jusqu'au salon, où j'ai trouvé que ce n'était que la télévision et qu'en fait mon téléphone ne sonnait pas. J'ai émis quelques gros mots et je suis rentrée dans la cuisine, où j'ai trouvé un éléphant en train de manger ma salade. Je l'ai grondé et l'ai demandé poliment de quitter...

srah - Wednesday, 24 April 2002 - 4:29 PM
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I set my head on fire

Not just now. Several years ago. And the title is a bit misleading as I never set my whole head on fire, but then I just want attention. I was in Jewelry & Design class, a cleverly disguised high school study hall where we got to play with fire. I don't remember what I was doing in that class - I think there was absolutely nothing else to fill that spot and Robin and Becky had already been dragged into it, along with the normal dregs you find in a study hall. Anyway, that class was full of loveliness. When...

srah - Tuesday, 9 April 2002 - 10:00 AM
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Someone pooped...

Someone pooped in Rob's shoes. This was months ago, but I've been thinking about it all day. It probably happened at about 3am, in the hallway outside their door, which was where Rob used to keep his shoes. What I'm wondering is: Did someone poop directly into Rob's shoes? If so, weren't they afraid of being seen? And if not, how did they transport the poop to Rob's shoes? Maybe it never happened. All we know is that his shoes were gone in the morning and the maintenance guy told Rob that he had thrown them away because someone had...

srah - Wednesday, 16 January 2002 - 9:19 PM
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People say that the French are rude...

People say that the French are rude, but in the French post office, they were nothing but helpful and nice. In the United States, on the other hand... I went to the post office to mail Denis and Sophie's presents to France. In order to save time, I used one of the Bentley's Priority Mail boxes, which Bill very nicely let me have for free. I was going to send it Priority Mail anyway, so that was handy. Then when Amy, my mom and I went out to lunch, I popped over to the post office while they were waiting...

srah - Wednesday, 19 December 2001 - 3:13 PM
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Krista's stories about can-return remind me

Krista's stories about can-return remind me: Yesterday, before leaving Albion, Boyfriend wanted to return all of his millions of pop cans (This is Michigan, folks. No measley five cents here - we pay a full DIME deposit for our cans and we want that dime back, DAMMIT!) so while I was at it, I stole the millions of bottles that people had left in the I-House recycling area because they were too lazy to take them back to the store (including ours that we hadn't planned on returning). We took them to Felpausch and were loading them into the machine...

srah - Thursday, 13 December 2001 - 9:26 AM
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