February 2008 archive

(12 entries)

February 29, 2008

Oh, horrible! Catastrophe appalling!

Since today is Leap Day, I'd say it's about time for another one of these.



    Universal Pictures
Who calls?
Your favorite blogger!
    srah blah blah
And I, her little blog!
    Universal Pictures
Oh, mad intruders,
How dare ye face me?
Know ye not, oh rash ones,
That I have doomed you to a life of boredom?
Have mercy on us! Hear us, ere you bore us!
    Universal Pictures
I do not think I ought to listen to you.
Yet, you are the greatest blog and blogger ever,
And so I will be merciful – say on!
    srah blah blah
You may remember months ago,
We sent you word about this flick
According to our custom old,
This music style we picked.
But all in vain the email sent,
We still have got this movie yen,
Until to somebody occurred
To blog it all again.
    Universal Pictures
Blog it again?
    srah blah blah
Blog it again,
Ingeniously we'll blog again
Nothing to lose and all to gain
And so we'll blog it all again.
We'll blog again, we'll blog again,
Ingeniously we'll blog again
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
We'll blog again.
You know our taste for curious quips,
For cranks and contradictions queer;
And yet you don't release this film,
We want our friends to see.
We said, "If we could show it them,
How our friends would the film adore!"
And so we write another post
To tell you a bit more.
    Universal Pictures
You'll blog again?
Blog it again,
Ingeniously we'll blog again
Nothing to lose and all to gain
And so we'll blog it all again.
We'll blog again, we'll blog again,
Ingeniously we'll blog again
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
We'll blog again.
For some ridiculous reason, to which, however, I've no desire to be a snitcher,
Some person in authority, I don't know who, very likely Universal Pictures,
Has decided that, although for such a beastly film as Bring It On IV, a DVD release is needed,
One film in all these thousands is ignored and sadly goes unDVD-ded.
Through some singular coincidence - I shouldn't be surprised if it were owing to the agency of an ill-natured fairy -
I am the victim of this clumsy arrangement, wishing to watch it in leap-year, on the twenty-ninth of February;
And so, if you look at the Universal catalogue, you'll surely look askance,
For though they've released Barbie as the Island Princess, yet they've never released the delightful The Pirates of Penzance!
    srah & srah blah blah
Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
Ho! ho! ho! ho!
    Universal Pictures
Dear me!
Let's see!
Yes, yes; with you my catalogue agrees!
    srah & srah blah blah
Ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha!
    Universal Pictures
How quaint the ways of Sarah's blog!
Skip one film in the catalogue
And she writes in just to complain
Perhaps we should release it, see
Yes, we've decided now to deign,
Yes, we've decided now to deign,
To put it out on DVD!
    srah & srah blah blah
They'll put it out on DVD!
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
We blogged again, we blogged again.
Ingeniously we blogged again.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
We blogged again.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
Hooray, we blogged again!
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
Good thing that we have blogged again!

Unfortunately this is only wishful thinking!

And for anyone who would like to sing along or is wondering what this has to do with Leap Day...


srah | 5:03 PM
Tags: dvd, gilbert and sullivan, parodies, the pirates of penzance, universal pictures

February 27, 2008

All the decisions have to be ratified at a special bi-weekly meeting by a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs...

I have been eating a lot of peanut butter this week. This can mean only one of two things:

  1. My body is telling me, "Sarah, we¹ need more protein! We will make you crave peanut butter so that you will put more protein in us!"
  2. OR

  3. My body is telling me, "Sarah, you bought peanut butter on impulse at the store last week. Why did you waste money on peanut butter when you don't even like peanut butter? We have to use that stuff up!"

I don't know why my body is so concerned with my spending habits.

¹ My body sees itself as an autonomous collective or an anarcho-syndicalist commune rather than one singular being. That probably explains a lot about the way I run.

srah | 11:25 AM
Tags: food, health, shopping

February 23, 2008

Oscar countdown!

You have about 24 hours left to locate and watch the movie Once before it is no longer "the movie Once" and is instead "the Academy Award-winning film Once." You have been warned!


It's such a sweet, lovely movie and I would love for everyone to see it. It manages to be romantic without being Romantic - that is, it's a wonderful story about the relationship between two people, but it's also very realistic. It felt very real - possibly influenced by the fact that the leading actor and actress fell in love during the making of the movie.

Once is a musical, but not in the way that Dana Ivey's character describes them in the 1995 remake of Sabrina ("That means that the performers will periodically dance about and burst into song"). Since the main characters are both musicians and the movie is about creating and producing music, the musical numbers are very naturally inserted into the film.

Here is the song that's nominated for Best Song:


And here's my favorite song from the movie:


Apparently Cillian Murphy was originally cast in the lead role ("Guy"). I like Cillian Murphy, but I think the movie would have been completely different with those cheekbones in the lead role. He's too pretty! I really like that the protagonists are attractive but realistically so. They aren't movie stars (in fact, Glen Hansard had been one movie before and Markéta Irglová hadn't been in any). They look like real people you would see in any city.

As for the rest of my Oscar-watching progress, I'm much better off than last reported. I have now seen Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, Ratatouille, Enchanted, Juno, Atonement, The Golden Compass, La Vie en Rose, Once and Sweeney Todd. The DVD of Michael Clayton is sitting on top of my DVD player, so we shall see if I get the motivation to watch that one. Now I can show up at my friend's Oscars party tomorrow with my potluck offering of boxes and boxes of orange Tic Tacs¹ and without the fear that I will look completely ignorant about this year's nominees. Just mostly ignorant!

¹ Actually There Will Be Brownies. I did think about Meat Pie of Suspicious Origin, though.

srah | 8:49 PM
Tags: academy awards, academy awards 2008, movies, musicals, once

The Curse of the Srambino

I went to a hockey game last night because a friend had an extra ticket. The University I Work At was playing against Western Michigan, my friend's alma mater, although she's lived in Srahtown and had various connections to The University I Work at for years. So she had loyalty to both teams and I had loyalty to none at all, because although I work there, TUIWA has been battling the University of Michigan for the top of the league (and the top of the college hockey rankings altogether) all season.

Once the game started, though, I started hoping for Western would win, despite the TUIWA sweatshirt I was wearing. They are from Michigan, they are last in the league (3-20-2), and I like underdogs. Not to mention that they outplayed TUIWA in the first period. Out loud I would cheer when either team did something good, but inside I was shouting "COME ON, WESTERN, MOVE YER BLOOMIN' ARSE!" I had to keep this inside because a) I didn't want to get beaten up, and b) I am cursed.

I can't think of a single example of a time I have attended a sporting event in Srahtown and the team I cheered for has won. It's not just that TUIWA wins whenever I go to a game, because I even cheered for them once and they lost. I should not be able to attend athletic events. I think I'm 0-5 now overall.

Unfortunately despite my outward appearance of impartiality, the Gods of Srahtown could apparently hear my internal cheering, because TUIWA won the game in the end. Foiled again!

srah | 7:25 PM
Tags: hockey, sports, the university i work at

February 21, 2008

Srarold and Kumar Go to the Grocery Store

Kal Penn and some guy I've never heard of are travelling around Ohio universities this week, trying to convince young people to vote for Barack Obama. When I got the notification that he was coming to The University I Work At, my initial reaction was (direct quote from my Facebook profile):

KAL PENN! KAL PENN IS COMING HERE! I think he's coming to meet me and marry me and this whole Obama thing is just a cover. KAL PENN!

Then once I calmed down and thought about it, I was conflicted because I hate it when celebrities get political. I would love to see Kal Penn talk about what he does or Barack Obama talk about what he does, but I don't feel like I need to hear Kal Penn talk about what Barack Obama does. I had planned to go anyway, just so that Kal would have an opportunity to spot me in the crowd and fall in love with me, but now it looks like the weather is going to be bad so I'm thinking of backing out. Now he is just going to have to run into me at Kroger or possibly have car trouble just outside my apartment building. Sorry for the inconvenience, Kal. See you later.

srah | 5:46 PM
Tags: barack obama, boys, kal penn, politics

February 20, 2008

And we walked in the snow with no shoes, because we couldn't afford shoes, because it was a Recession.

Let me tell you sonny... let me tell you straight
You kids today ain't never had it tough
Always had everything handed to you on a silver plate
You lazy brats think nothing's good enough

Well, nobody ever drove me to school when it was ninety degrees below
We had to walk buck naked through forty miles of snow
Worked in the coal mines twenty-two hours a day for just half a cent
Had to sell my internal organs just to pay the rent

- Weird Al Yankovic, "When I Was Your Age"

Have I ever mentioned that I am eighty years old? And a curmudgeon? Remember that time I decided that everyone should have to get chicken pox, because I had it? Well now I'm here to talk to you about Kids Today and How Easy They Have It, and how They Never Go to School and That's What's Wrong With the World Today. Buckle your seat belts, everyone! We are going to be trundling down the Information Superhighway at 25mph. Now shut up and eat this linty hard candy I found in my cardigan pocket.

I'm pretty sure the local public school district's headquarters are in Virginia or North Carolina or somewhere, because their school cancellation strategy seems to be "I SAW A SNOWFLAKE! EVERYONE RUN FOR COVER!" When I woke up this morning, they were on a two-hour delay and when I was on my way to work, I heard it was cancelled altogether even though the weather was improving. We may have gotten as much as three inches of snow, but it was insignificant enough that even my rarely-traveled, never-plowed residential street was all broken up and clear by the time I went to work in the morning. This is Ohio! They should be able to stand a little bit of snow!

Back In My Day, we had to go to school all the time! We had to go to school when there was snow. We had to go to school when there were tornadoes. We had to go to school when there were earthquakes. We had to go to school when there were Godzilla attacks. A snow day really meant something in those days! We appreciated them, not like you ungrateful kids nowadays.

Here is a little mnemonic device I have created for the local public school district that might ensure that these kids are in school for more than two days in a row:

If you see snow, to school you must go!
If you see ice, a day off would be nice.

srah | 5:22 PM
Tags: srahtown, weather

February 14, 2008

Do you love me? Are you playing your love games with me?

Let it be known that the following people, fictional or otherwise, are invited to be my valentine today.

(Yes, I keep adding and rearranging people as the day goes on. You wanna make something of it?)

Others shall be accepted on a case-by-case basis. In order to apply, you will need to complete the following application form in the comments.

Name/Internet handle:
I am awesome because:
Here are my big exciting Valentine's Day plans (Aren't they enticing? Pick me! Pick me!):
Srah is, of course, my first choice for a valentine, but if I had to pick, the runner-up would be:

Just so you know, everyone who applies will win. I will choo-choo-choose all of you. Lucky you! Lucky me! Valentines we shall be! And if I don't get any applications, I'm going to spend the whole evening crying. Crying and watching Love Actually and Lost. But mostly crying.


srah | 1:00 PM
Tags: alan rickman, christian bale, crushes, gilbert blythe, henry tilney, holidays, in the good old summertime, james franco, james macavoy, jason segel, john hannah, liz lemon, lost, paul rudd, richard ayoade, ron weasley, ryan reynolds, simon amstell, valentine's day, vince noir

February 13, 2008

WHO wants to be a person who is my VALENTINE?

Step 1: Plan to do Arabic homework (making a Valentine's Day card in Arabic) on Monday, leaving Tuesday open for other things.
Step 2: Do not do Arabic homework on Monday.
Step 3: Plan to do Arabic homework on Tuesday.
Step 4: Do not do Arabic homework on Tuesday.
Step 5: Dream, on Tuesday night, that you have come to class on Wednesday morning without having done your homework, and that you are trying - very badly - to fake it and are miserable and embarrassed. Still within the dream, come up with a brilliant idea for a Valentine that uses mostly vocabulary you already know and try to wing it.
Step 6: Wake up. Hooray! You have an idea for your Valentine's Day card and - unlike in the dream - you have several hours before you need to go to class.
Step 7: Put it off for a few more hours.
Step 8: Make your valentine. Clearly this is a brilliant and hilarious valentine! You are a genius!
Step 9: Show valentine off to coworkers before going to class. Realize, upon translating, that the valentine is not nearly as funny as it was in your dream and that what humor it has is only funny to you... and it may not even be remotely readable, anyway.
Step 10: Read valentine in class, prefacing with "This is in the style of those elementary-school valentines, in that it's not very funny and doesn't make much sense." Your professor actually understands the sentences that you're putting together, which is nice, but doesn't really get your attempts at humor, as usual.

The valentine:

My Arabic valentine

The translation/general idea I was going for (from this):

This is sort of what I was going for with my not-funny Arabic valentine

Yeah. Strange idea. In my dream it was really great and went over really well! I need to pay less attention to dreams, perhaps.

srah | 6:42 PM
Tags: arabic, holidays, in arabic, valentine's day

February 11, 2008

It's the opposite of watermelon

"You know, the root of the word Miller is a Greek word. Miller come from the Greek word 'milo,' which is mean 'apple,' so there you go. As many of you know, our name, Portokalos, is come from the Greek word 'portokali,' which mean 'orange.' So, okay? Here tonight, we have, ah, apple and orange. We all different, but in the end, we all fruit."

- My Big Fat Greek Wedding

We have, partway through the fourth semester of Arabic, finally begun learning vocabulary about things like colors and clothing and foods. This comes after our exciting chapters with themes like "Maha's father tells you about his education and the degrees that he's earned" or "Khaled's father tries to convince him to major in Business instead of English." I'm not sure exactly what kind of world this book is supposed to be preparing us for, but I have the impression it's one where we talk endlessly about the structure of university departments while we walk around naked and starve.

(... Sounds like my job now! Boo-yeah!)

My teacher has finally decided to defy the book's structure and teach us a few useful things. So today I learned that the Arabic word for orange is برتقالي, which sounds a heck of a lot like the Greek "portokali." What's interesting is that the first time I saw the word برتقالي it was in some online quiz that I can't find anymore, where you had to match the color on the screen to its Arabic name. I remember sounding the word for "orange" out and thinking that it sounded like "Portugal" and that I was going to remember it that way. Now that I've heard it properly pronounced, it's going to make me think of the father in My Big Fat Greek Wedding instead, but I wonder if there's a connection there. A lot of citrus fruit seems to come from the Iberian peninsula. Like English, Arabic uses the same word for the fruit as for the color, whichever came first¹. I'm assuming the Arabic word for the fruit/color came from the Greek or vice versa, but did the word for orange come from the word for Portugal, or vice versa? Or am I just imagining the connection?

If I were really clever and cared enough, I would actually research this to find out the answer, but instead I will just shout my question into the blog-void and wait and see if an Arabic/geography scholar finds me.

A lot of the clothing words are easy to remember, too, because they all seem to have some connection to the English, Spanish or French names for the same things... bantalon, qamisa, teesheert, shoort, jeenz, beejama, etc.

البس بلوفر خضر!

srah | 11:02 PM
Tags: arabic, in arabic, language

February 7, 2008

There is no Briony, only Zuul

I went to see Atonement last weekend. I think it turned me into Anne of Green Gables. It was so very beautiful and so very tragic and so very beautifully tragic. The people were beautiful, the costumes were beautiful, the settings were beautiful, the cinematography was beautiful... and when the movie wasn't being visually beautiful, it was full of tragic, Romantic warfare and suffering and angst and longing and undying love. Anne probably would have very nearly swooned. Not actually swooned, but very nearly. It would be such a romantic experience to nearly drown swoon!

James McAvoy as Robbie was probably not wicked enough to suit Anne Shirley's tastes, but I like to think that he made up for it by being dashing and handsome and speaking really good French for a Scot playing an Englishman. It was certainly enough for me. Whew.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that Atonement tapped into that Anneish part of me that is Romantic with a capital R. I cried on and off through the whole movie, and when it was over I left the theater right away so that no one would see me and I went to the bathroom and cried some more. You can't judge me, though, because YOU would cry, too, if you were an orphan and had come to a place you thought was going to be home and found that they didn't want you because you weren't a boy. Um. I mean, if you watched this movie. And if Anne Shirley lived in a corner of your brain.

After I fled the movie theater in order to weep despondently, I was in the depths of despair. I went shopping a little, but I couldn't stop being Anne of Green Gables long enough to act like a normal human being. Borders has never before seen such a morose, tragic figure buying the Season 3 DVD of The Office! Alas! So to cleanse my cinematic palate, I went to see a horrible movie and got overwhelmed by annoyance instead of tragic Romantic despair. It was probably only marginally better for my mental health.

I have been telling everyone I know to see this movie, and now my fear is that no one else will appreciate the movie in the same way that I did, and I will look like a big Romantic idiot. So everyone get ready to despair!

srah | 8:41 PM
Tags: atonement, movies, reviews, romantic

Oh, they have the internet on computers now!


My worst cases of blogger's block (blog-clog?) are when I make a rule for myself: "You cannot blog about Y until you have blogged about X." This is stupid. No one cares. And I just end up with a huge pile of post-ideas building up behind whatever it is that seems particularly daunting to me or whatever I'm putting off writing.

Anyway, I shall write a series of blog posts this evening about whatever the hell I want in whatever the hell order I want. So let it be written blogged, so let it be done.

srah | 5:44 PM
Tags: blogging

February 2, 2008

You Are the Music, Parte the Firste

I am running late for Tiff's latest CD Swap, but I thought I would post the beginnings here, with a question for all of you! The theme of this swap was:

Have you ever watched a movie or a TV show and though, "wow, this music is really great!" Or, more commonly, "this music is so distracting! Why are they playing Nickelback, I think my ears are bleeding! I could’ve totally done a better job."

Well here’s your chance. And you even get to pick the movie.

The way many of us interpreted this was "Put a whole bunch of songs together, then write a story about them." My story is still in my head and not down on paper computer yet, but I thought I would share my tracklist with you. I may have to take out a few songs to fit the story (not sure yet because I haven't written it yet) but I don't think I'll add anything. Mp3s will be... somewhere... when I put the story up. I'll let you know when I post the story.

  1. Two Lovers (Mint Royale Remix) - The Twang (link is to the original, not the remix)
  2. Colours - Donovan
  3. Shirin - Jens Lekman
  4. A Summer Song - Chad & Jeremy
  5. Halfway up the Hindu Kush - Katie Melua
  6. Goodbye Mr A - The Hoosiers
  7. The Rainbow Connection - Sarah McLachlan
  8. The Happening - The Supremes
  9. Fluorescent Adolescent - Arctic Monkeys
  10. Over And Over (ft.Tim McGraw) - Nelly
  11. Stronger - 30 Seconds to Mars
  12. Love Today - Mika
  13. This is not a pipe - Bob Nanna
  14. Grace Kelly - Mika
  15. Are You Out There? - Dar Williams
  16. Shambala - Three Dog Night
  17. There Is A Mountain - Donovan
  18. What Is Life - George Harrison

I'd be interested to know if you built your own story in your head based on these songs, and how different it is from mine. Probably quite different!

If you want to read other people's "movies", click here for the list of participants!

srah | 11:33 AM
Tags: cd swap, movies, music

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