Know ye not, oh rash ones, that you have doomed it to extermination?

Reading through the IMDb message board for The Pirates of Penzance¹, I found that someone had posted the address of Universal Studios' contact form, encouraging other fans to ask Universal to release Pirates on DVD.

This is what I wrote:

Please release The Pirates of Penzance on DVD!

I was at a video rental store this weekend and discovered that they had phased out their VHS rentals in favor of DVDs. As VHS is phased out, so - sadly - is The Pirates of Penzance, as that is the only version of the movie that is currently available. Generations will now miss out on The Pirates of Penzance and on a great introduction to the works of Gilbert and Sullivan.

It is a funny and clever movie and a cult classic among G&S fans. Jeopardy! champion Ken Jennings is also looking for a DVD version²:

Please release The Pirates of Penzance on DVD and make it available for future generations!

It was only after I submitted the form that I realized my plea would have been much more entertaining (and potentially effective) in the form of a GilbertandSullivanian patter song, but alas it was too late. So I share instead with you folks.

My eyes are fully open to my awful situation -
I shall go at once to Universal; make them an oration.
I shall tell them I am saddened that I cannot buy this movie
And I don't know what to do; to sit and cry would not behoove me
I would tell them that I liked the rabbit-film with Jimmy Stewart;
Of The Office, Flower Drum Song and The Mummy I'm a viewer
And a word or two of compliment their vanity would flatter,
But they will not heed this message, so it really doesn't matter!

Oh, this is not a little matter, generally silly
I won't give them my advice upon the subject willy-nilly;
I will show them in a moment how to grapple with the question,
And they'll really be astonished at the force of my suggestion.
On the subject I shall write them a most valuable email,
Full of excellent suggestions from a Pirates-loving female
I will tell them there are fans of Gilbert-Sullivan who need it
And they'd make a lot of money if they only DVDed it!³

For those of you who have no opinion on Pirates of Penzance yet, watch these videos of Kevin Kline in thigh-high boots and see if that changes your mind:

¹ I have no life.

² Technically it was Ken Jennings' father-in-law, but I waive that point. I do not press it. I look over it.

³ I have no life.

srah - Thursday, 9 August 2007 - 5:21 PM
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Comments (8)

gravatar cdp - August 10, 2007 - 8:26 AM -

[chorus, dressed as video clerks]: they'd make a lot of money if they only DVDed it!

gravatar srah - August 10, 2007 - 9:55 AM -

Lovely. I have a chorus. :D

gravatar katie - August 10, 2007 - 1:14 PM -

I'm in your email in a very sideways manner! And you totally crack me up.

gravatar srah - August 10, 2007 - 1:16 PM -

Maybe it's because I have a dirty mind, but that sounds innuendolicious. I'm going to have t-shirts made that say srahs do it in a sideways manner.

gravatar bob - August 10, 2007 - 8:46 PM -

You are friggin brilliant!

gravatar srah - August 12, 2007 - 10:24 PM -

From Universal:

Dear Ms. [srahlastname],

Thank you for contacting Universal Studios Home Entertainment. We strive to provide the highest standard in product quality and customer care.

No plans have been announced for the DVD release of this title. A multitude of factors, including contractual issues, influence the timing and content of our DVD releases. Unfortunately, no further information is available as to when this title might become available on DVD.

For a listing of upcoming releases, please check our website periodically at:

We appreciate your interest and hope that you will continue to enjoy Universal products.


gravatar Aunt Pat - August 14, 2007 - 12:35 PM -

You are just too clever!

Now that I've finally finished reading Harry Potter the 7th (I know, I'm really slow), I can feel safe reading your blog again.

gravatar srah - August 14, 2007 - 5:26 PM -

Thank you. And welcome back to the real world!

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