WHO wants to be a person who is my VALENTINE?

Step 1: Plan to do Arabic homework (making a Valentine's Day card in Arabic) on Monday, leaving Tuesday open for other things.
Step 2: Do not do Arabic homework on Monday.
Step 3: Plan to do Arabic homework on Tuesday.
Step 4: Do not do Arabic homework on Tuesday.
Step 5: Dream, on Tuesday night, that you have come to class on Wednesday morning without having done your homework, and that you are trying - very badly - to fake it and are miserable and embarrassed. Still within the dream, come up with a brilliant idea for a Valentine that uses mostly vocabulary you already know and try to wing it.
Step 6: Wake up. Hooray! You have an idea for your Valentine's Day card and - unlike in the dream - you have several hours before you need to go to class.
Step 7: Put it off for a few more hours.
Step 8: Make your valentine. Clearly this is a brilliant and hilarious valentine! You are a genius!
Step 9: Show valentine off to coworkers before going to class. Realize, upon translating, that the valentine is not nearly as funny as it was in your dream and that what humor it has is only funny to you... and it may not even be remotely readable, anyway.
Step 10: Read valentine in class, prefacing with "This is in the style of those elementary-school valentines, in that it's not very funny and doesn't make much sense." Your professor actually understands the sentences that you're putting together, which is nice, but doesn't really get your attempts at humor, as usual.

The valentine:

My Arabic valentine

The translation/general idea I was going for (from this):

This is sort of what I was going for with my not-funny Arabic valentine

Yeah. Strange idea. In my dream it was really great and went over really well! I need to pay less attention to dreams, perhaps.

srah - Wednesday, 13 February 2008 - 6:42 PM
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Comments (10)

gravatar katelin - February 13, 2008 - 6:52 PM -

Haha, love the actual translation. A for effort right? :)

gravatar Elisabeth - February 13, 2008 - 8:02 PM -

Excellent! A++

gravatar James - February 14, 2008 - 5:29 AM -

That is really funny. Well it made me laugh anyway.

gravatar srah - February 14, 2008 - 6:26 AM -

It is kind of a strange Valentine's Day message, though...

gravatar Cheryl - February 14, 2008 - 8:18 AM -

It reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry comes up with a joke based on some space man movie he sees while half asleep just after waking up. He wrote it down and the entire episode is trying to figure out what he wrote and finally gets it and it isn't funny at all.

The End.

gravatar srah - February 14, 2008 - 8:45 AM -

The thing Jerry wrote isn't funny, or Seinfeld isn't funny? The Internet will hate me for saying this, but both are equally possible.

gravatar Jess - February 14, 2008 - 12:15 PM -

Too bad your humor doesn't translate! Good luck with that.

gravatar Your ARWYDK - February 14, 2008 - 12:54 PM -

Srah, this continues to be funny as hell. Have you encountered Livemocha? It has been called the social networking site where you can't understand anybody else--you learn languages through networking. There are formal lessons in five languages--English, French, Spanish, Hindi, and Mandarin. But you can search for "friends" in many other languages. I'm learning Indonesian, and if I go on there around midnight (1 p.m. in Jakarta, when young people are getting back to their offices and fooling around on the Internet) I always find someone to talk to. There is even a built-in thing that opens a video-audio link if everything works out OK and you let it.

gravatar jday - February 14, 2008 - 1:54 PM -

I *entirely* agree with your Seinfeld assessment! I am surrounded at work and home by people who do not agree, and quote constantly... very odd!

gravatar PrincessPolly - February 16, 2008 - 6:19 PM -

Well I thought it was funny! :)

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