March 2006 archive

(15 entries)

March 29, 2006

Attention-seeking much?

It turns out that Sharon Stone, who followed us around Israel and stayed in two of the same hotels we did, was not doing so in order to stalk study abroad advisors, but because she wants to make out with everybody in the Middle East, and especially more women if ya got 'em.

Dammit! I thought it was us.


srah | 8:17 AM | TrackBack
Tags: israel, middle east, politics, sharon stone, travel

March 26, 2006

Four soggy Mr Darcies per day!

I think that there should be a (network) television channel that does nothing but show the 5-hour 1995 Colin Firth version of Pride & Prejudice in an ongoing loop.

srah | 1:46 PM | TrackBack
Tags: colin firth, jane austen, movies, pride and prejudice

March 23, 2006

American Idol: Poetry in Motion

Dammit! They sent Schmeedle home? I checked in partway through the show and saw that it was going to be either him or Bucky, so I thought I had it in the bag. Looks like I'll be able to reuse my haiku next week:

Howling and off-key
The reign of Bucky must end
My ears are bleeding

srah | 6:48 AM | TrackBack
Tags: american idol, american idol 5, bucky, haiku, poetry, tv

March 21, 2006

Blazering a path to adulthood

Dear Student,

No, I am not the student you were sent to the resource library to talk to. I am wearing a blazer. Therefore I am an adult. ADULT ADULT ADULT!

You can tell by the fact that I am throwing a tantrum online. I am a grown-up!

srah | 6:02 PM | TrackBack
Tags: work

Like the deserts miss the rain...

I am eating a Dole Tropical Fruit Bowl¹, which is made up of pineapple and some pinkish chunks and some yellowish chunks and some other yellowish chunks with a slightly different texture. I can't decide if the pink chunks or the firm yellow chunks are my favorite, but the point is, while this fruit salad is delicious, I have no idea what I'm eating. I think there's papaya in there, and maybe some guava. There might be passion fruit, or maybe mango.

Because of my ignorance of the world of tropical fruit, I feel that it is time to make the following confession: I would like to hereby announce to the world that I have no idea what a mango looks like, because my first association with the mango fruit was that stupid light blue smelly marker. I need to come clean and tell the world that the only thing that I know about mangoes is that they are NOT light blue, no matter how much my brain tries to make that connection. I think I have been permanently brain damaged by the Mr Sketch brand, and not in the usual way, by huffing them.

¹ I think the Kroger tropical fruit cups are better than Dole. There is something false about the homogenous texture and perfect cubiness of the Dole chunks, and Kroger is cheaper. So there!

srah | 5:50 PM | TrackBack
Tags: food, mango

Cup o' Soup ≠ falafel

Yesterday, the news told me that it was the first day of spring. Then the weather report told me to expect Winter Storms. I don't know what it is anymore, but I want it to stop. A week ago today, I was squinting through my sunglasses as I stuffed my face with falafel. This morning I had to brush the snow off my car, and sleet is predicted later in the day. Send me back!

srah | 12:22 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Tags: weather

I've met Israel reports, and this is no Israel report

Okay, too much happened in Israel to give you a report. Suffice it to say, it was great and you should all go and you should all hire our tour guide. The rest will come out in trickles, but the prospect of trying to blog the whole trip was frightening.

srah | 12:20 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
Tags: travel

Unconscious Mutterings

My free associations have been Biggie-sized for your convenience. They are now the size of the Notorious B.I.G. You're welcome.

srah | 12:16 PM | TrackBack
Tags: memes, unconscious mutterings

March 8, 2006

So real, it's unreal!

Dear SkyMall,

There is no reason on Earth why anyone would ever need one of these. I think that if airline catalog sellers have spent years trying to perfect the Most Useless And Unmarketable Thing Ever, you have found the pinnacle. It is as though the creation of airline catalogues is an evolutionary process and you have achieved a mutation that, in one generation, created a super-species capable of wiping all other animal life off the map. Congratulations. It's all downhill from here!

srah | 10:30 AM
Tags: skymall

How do you say Zzzzzzzzzzzzzz in Hebrew?

I'm here. I'm tired. I can't go to sleep or I'll get the jet lags. I had a shower. It was good. I feel much better now, but it's raining and my roommate's sleeping so I'm not all about going exploring.

We went on a tour of a nature reserve. I have a lot to say about airport security, but that can wait until I'm awake some time. Here are pictures.

srah | 9:40 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Tags: travel

March 7, 2006

One of these things is not like the other

States that I thought I would be going to/through today, as of going to bed last night:

  • Ohio
  • Kentucky
  • New Jersey

States that Delta Airlines thought I would be going to/through today, as of some time before 4:59am, which is when they called me and woke me up to tell me my Cincinnati-Newark flight had been cancelled but they had everso kindly rescheduled me on another, ultra-convenient flight:

  • Ohio
  • Kentucky
  • Georgia
  • New Jersey

States that I will now be going to/through today, after having said "Hells naw, biatch!" to the airline:

  • Ohio
  • Kentucky
  • New York
  • New Jersey

The most frustrating thing is that all of the Delta employees I've dealt with today have been insufferably kind and helpful. I want them to mistreat me so I can wallow in my misery and hatred for the airline, but... sigh.

srah | 10:17 AM | TrackBack
Tags: airlines, delta airlines, israel, travel

March 6, 2006

He riddled with Gollum!/ A magic ring he stole!

It's been a really long time since I did an AFI Top 100 update. But it's also been a long time since I watched an AFI movie. I am in a lull, probably mostly due to the fact that American Idol is on EVERY FRIGGIN' DAY OF THE WEEK so I just try to avoid turning the TV on altogether. But since I'm going out of the country, it would be good to get this posted before I go.

#67: Wuthering Heights - There was some question in my mind as to whether I would ever be able to complete the entire Top 100 list, because it would involve watching Wuthering Heights. I kept getting hung up on this movie. I reserved it once at the library, but I had too many DVDs out already so I had to leave one behind. Wuthering Heights it is, then! Not a tough decision! The longer I can put off watching it, the better. But I reserved it again and eventually it popped back up and there were no excuses left. I brought it home and it sat on the pile for weeks. As the return date loomed, I realized that this was going to have to be like tearing off a Band-Aid - just get through it and get over with it.

It's strange - I feel like I should like Wuthering Heights. I have been told that it is a romantic story, but personally, I think Heathcliff is an asshole and Cathy is a moron and all manner of Brontës are more talented than Emily. The story is even harder to get into than The Hobbit, and that is really saying something¹. So I "watched" this one while doing something else on the computer. I heard it all and followed the stupid story and was glad that they left half of it out of the movie version and I don't know why they put this in the Top 100, except that maybe they felt they needed more movies with Laurence Olivier. Well, that's over with.

#68: Patton - This is another one I was dreading, but I actually liked it a lot more than I expected. I have been pleasantly surprised by war movies so far - they're not just about war, but about people as well. And Patton's an interesting one. I liked his dog, too.

#69: Goodfellas - I expected to like this more than I did, probably because I'd seen The Godfather and realized that mafia movies aren't all bad. This was okay but gruesome and blah.

#70: Frankenstein - This is another one that I tried to put off for a long time, but it finally had to be watched. I didn't feel like I got much out of it because I've seen the 1994 version and so many parodies that this didn't really add anything to my Frankenstein-knowledge. I believe it does mean that I've watched all of the AFI movies from the 1930s, though.

See also: #48-54, #55-58, #59-61, #64-66

¹ "In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit, and in this hole, he had a pot and a bench and a table and a stool and a pair of pants and a ladle and a box of pipeweed and a hairbrush and a toothbrush and a brush for brushing the dirt off his feet and a chair and another table and a window and a fireplace and another window and a box of matches and a couple of biscuits and a teapot and three candles and a frying pan and a laundry basket and a notebook computer with combination CD/DVD-R drive and a shoebox full of porn and some buttons and a bucket and another brush and a pair of socks and a breadmaker and a map of Middle Earth and a chessboard and last year's phone book and a mug and another mug and some plates and some forks and some fireworks and another pair of socks and a gravy boat and a rug and a rocking chair and an onion and a pipe and another window and a ceiling and a floor and some walls and some canned peaches and a vase and some ointment and a dead plant and another chair and a teacup and a beer stein and a loaf of bread and..."

srah | 5:44 PM | TrackBack
Tags: afi, movies


How do you pronounce the word "err", as in "the action done by humans, as opposed to the divine act of forgiveness"?

I pronounce it one way, but I heard it a different way on the radio. informs me that one was accepted as correct but the other is gaining ground, to the point where both are now acceptable. Just wondering what the average pronunciation of my readers is...

srah | 5:31 PM | Comments (6) | TrackBack
Tags: english

Unconscious Mutterings

Time to make the donuts free associations!

srah | 12:50 PM | TrackBack
Tags: memes, unconscious mutterings

This is a bitch of an satisfactory situation

The only Academy Award that I cared about this year was won by the person I wanted to win it. Ford's in his flivver, etcetera etcetera.

[ETA] I don't really get the "Best Song" category though. Is it for the song that's the stand-alone best or the song that supports its movie in the best way or what? I didn't see Hustle and Flow, so maybe the song worked well in the movie, but now that I've had it in my head all day today, I have to say that I'm not all that impressed with the incessant repetition of the assertion that

It's hard out here for a pimp
When he tryin' to get this money for the rent
For the Cadillacs and gas money spent
Because a whole lot of bitches talkin shit

Oh, poor pimps. What a hard life you lead. I'm so glad that America has been made aware of your terrible plight. Save the pimps!

srah | 11:24 AM | TrackBack
Tags: academy awards, academy awards 2006, movies, pimps

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