How many guys in a bear suit does it take to scare srah?

I am proud to have been a Bulldog/Mustang, a Roadrunner, a River Rat, a Briton and a Wolverine, because one thing that all of these schools had in common was that they never dressed anyone up in a stupid costume to dance around and seriously freak me out. Sports mascots are like clowns, but you can't even see their eyes so you never know when they're going to snap. (With clowns, at least you can see their eyes, so you can tell that they are going to snap and murder you... any minute now. It's... reassuring?)

My usual reaction to seeing one of these sports mascots is: GLAAAAAGH! What is that? Get it away from me! Get it away from me! Stay away from me or I'll punch you in the stupid stupid padded stomach, you awful thing! Make it die! I've never been to Disney World, so I have no way of confirming whether or not I would have the same reaction to Mickey Mouse. But I probably would.

I had a run-in with a costumed mascot this afternoon. Fortunately it didn't come down to punching, but it did come down to quickly escaping in the opposite direction. I am rather less pleased to be a Redhawk than any of those other things right now.

srah - Wednesday, 3 October 2007 - 5:34 PM
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Comments (14)

gravatar Neil - October 3, 2007 - 11:29 PM -

I've always felt bad for those guys/gals who play those mascots. What a crappy job! Can you imagine how hot it must be inside. And how insecure you must become because people cheer for you only when you are in a rat suit. Otherwise, they ignore you.

gravatar Cheryl - October 4, 2007 - 8:19 AM -

There is such a thing as a River Rat live mascot, now. Do you know my sister dresses as Chuck E Cheese?

Also, I watched the Cal/Oregon game last week and that duck was funny!

gravatar srah - October 4, 2007 - 8:23 AM -

I'm sorry. That makes me want to punch your sister in the stomach. :(

They've ruined Huron! Well, as long as I never see it, I can pretend it doesn't exist.

gravatar John - October 4, 2007 - 10:47 AM -

At Disney parks, Mickey & Minnie are so popular they have to have their own areas where you wait in line to see them. No running into them spontaneously.

On the other hand, I once saw (at the Animal Kingdom) an unsuspecting tourist being stalked by the guy done up as Tarzan. Unfortunately, they moved out of my line of sight before the tourist realized he was being stalked. That could have been interesting...

gravatar Craig - October 4, 2007 - 12:40 PM -

This may not really be the point of your post, but why is there a middle school in Ann Arbor with a Road Runner for a mascot?

Also, what was the Red Hawk doing walking around on a Wednesday afternoon? Does the guy in the mascot costume wear it all the time to get attention?

Also, also, at least you aren't the Red Men anymore. (That was what you were prior to being Red Hawks at Srah U, right?)

gravatar srah - October 4, 2007 - 1:20 PM -

They were Redskins before, but they've been Redhawks as long as I've been here.

Apparently he was there for our Employee Benefits Fair. I don't know why. He doesn't benefit me at all, and he didn't even fit with the theme (which was something like Beach Benefits Bingo).

I could be equally frightened by Pluto or Goofy or Dopey or Doc, I think. One of those creepy besuited creatures that just hangs around and waves and doesn't talk. I don't see myself having the same reaction to Mike Wazowski, but maybe that's because he doesn't have a stomach to punch.

gravatar srah - October 4, 2007 - 1:21 PM -

Oh, and I have no idea how Scarlett became the Roadrunners. But I'm glad they are, because at least it's unusual and creative, unlike the Pioneer High School Pioneers. BOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

gravatar EV - October 4, 2007 - 1:26 PM -

Remember when Elizabeth Wakefield was the Sweet Valley High mascot, and she was sooo funny and outgoing like that, and nobody knew? That was soooo funny!

gravatar am I late for the delurking? - October 4, 2007 - 11:58 PM -

My brother used to attend UofO women's basketball games with my niece, and when I tried to congratulate him for encouraging a love of sports in his daughter he said that often her back was to the game while she stared at the giant beaver mascot, so obviously in love with it that it was embarassing. (If she gets punched in the stomach soon, I am gonna know it was YOU.)

gravatar srah - October 5, 2007 - 8:29 AM -

Nah, I'd only punch her if she were in the suit.

gravatar Fraulein N - October 5, 2007 - 10:15 AM -

I am terrified of all those costumed freaks. Dude, I can't see your face ... I don't know if you're leering at me, or plotting my murder or what. If I'm at a theme park I veer off in the other direction when I see one of them coming. And then you can't make eye contact or even face their direction, 'cause then they want to come over and wave and take pictures and shit. It's really horrifying.

gravatar srah - October 5, 2007 - 10:41 AM -

Thanks. I'm glad to hear that someone else feels the same way.

gravatar Aunt Pam - October 6, 2007 - 7:31 AM -

Here's a video for you . . . One less mascot out there now!

P. S. Grandpa M. LOVED the Philly Phanatic!

gravatar srah - October 6, 2007 - 9:28 AM -


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