A bit of publicity for an old friend:

"The Tenth Anniversary Season of Broadway Onstage Live Theatre concludes with FIVE WOMEN WEARING THE SAME DRESS, a truly funny comedy written by "SIX FEET UNDER" creator Alan Ball. The production opens on Friday, April 16 and runs Fridays and Saturdays at 8pm and Select Sundays at 2pm through Saturday, May 15... Broadway Onstage Live Theatre is located at 21517 Kelly Rd. at Toepfer (8 1/2 Mile Rd.) in Eastpointe."

The dresses do look terribly awful...

When we were young, my sister and I were always embarassed by the way our mother could start up conversations with anyone anywhere. She would run into friends in the middle of the street and talk for hours or tell the supermarket cashier about what Becky and I were doing in school.

It's inevitable: I'm becoming my mother. Yesterday I went to Einstein Bros. Bagels and a guy was sitting at a table in an Albion hat. Normally, I would leave people alone in this situation, but I felt I had to go bother him.

I was tempted to just go up to him and exclaim, "Io Triumphe!" (the college yell), but I realized that I would probably throw up on and run away from anyone who did that to me. Another super line would have been, "Hey... Liberal Arts at Work?"

So I went up to him, asked him if he went to Albion and when he graduated, and we had the kind of strange awkward conversation that you have with someone you have nothing in common with except for two years of overlap on the same campus.

Had a lovely lunch today cooked by Krista and attended by Jamelah, Alfie, Libness and Jimmy. All of these online journalers actually had things to talk about in real life! There is hope for me yet!

It's Homecoming Weekend in Albion. Construction seemed light on I-94 and I got off at Jackson (and somehow ended up back on after Jackson, but that's due to my fantastic navigational skills) so I made the one-hour drive in under two hours. It was okay, because sitting still on the freeway gave me a chance to change CDs so that I could sing at the top of my lungs along with both Fiddler on the Roof and The Neil.

I'm staying with the sister and using her shower products because it's easier than trucking my own around. Who came up with lubricated razors? I feel like my armpit is coated in snot. I think, though, that Albion water has improved. Rather than the rotten-egg smell that was so noticeable my freshman year, now I just smell like wet dog.

It is time for the answers to be revealed. At last you will know the truth! And the lie! You won't care, but you will know! And knowing is half the battle. Shut up, srah, and just tell them the answers already.

Most people recognized that story #2 (College Jeopardy) was true. That's because this story sucked. I do appreciate that you were so willing to believe that I couldn't come up with anything interesting to say about myself, though. I'm going to go cry in a corner, even though it is true. The other 'story' I came up with was about how we used to eat a lot of cheese in high school, so I guess you can feel blessed that I didn't make you read that one. It was really crap, as opposed to this one, which I consider only mostly crap. Yawn.

Although a popular choice, story #3 (the p0rn theatre) is true. They do have p0rn theatres in France and this one was right on the corner with a real cinema down the alleyway. Going to this one didn't have anything to do with my French skills, so much as my lack of observational skills. The big red X, as I said, should have given it away. But hey, we were looking for a theatre and we found one! I was surprised to search my archives and discover that I hadn't told that story.

Story #1 (the trip to England), therefore, is... not entirely true. This is why I said you were going to hate me when I told you the answer. Everything in the story is true except one detail: I danced on the high altar at Winchester Cathedral and not Salisbury. Sneaky wench.

Correct guessers: Kim, Dae, Jez, Patricia, otto, granni39, Jen, gish, windy and Heather.

Thanks for guessing! I look forward to doing it again sometime.

Here are my three stories. Two are true and one is false. I will warn you that I have a reputation for being quite good at this sort of thing, although when I've done it as an icebreaker it's usually a factoid rather than a story.

You may pick which you think is the true FALSE (oops - forgot to change that when I changed from 2F/1T to 2T/1F) story, leaving your guess in the comments. If you'd like, I'd also be interested to know why you think one or the other is true or false. On Monday I'll post the correct response.

Eligibility: My family and close friends may guess as long as they don't influence anyone else's guess by announcing that they know for sure which is the correct answer. If you sound like you're not quite sure, but you think it might be #X, I probably won't have to kill you. But don't all agree or anything. If you would like me to know that you know but don't want to ruin it for everyone else, you may whisper it quietly in my ear or email me.

Story #1: My parents and I went to England in 1982 and I ended up spending my second birthday there. We were there for a wedding, but we also used the trip as a chance for my dad to familiarise his wife and young daughter with his mother's native country (which he had often visited growing up). Sometimes I think they would have preferred to leave the daughter at home, although she did provide them with some interesting stories.

We went to the Tower of London and I was not very interested in the tour. I was, however, quite interested in the ravens.

"LOOK, DADDY," I exclaimed, "BIG BLACK BIRDS. WHAT ARE THE BIG BLACK BIRDS DOING HERE, DADDY? WHY AREN'T THE BIG BLACK BIRDS FLYING AWAY, DADDY?" Apparently I was loud and annoying enough that the beefeater actually stopped his speech and walked over to me.

"Do you know," he said, bending over me and trying to exude an air of authority and respectability as I grinned up at him, "what we do to little American girls who can't be quiet and listen to the nice beefeater's talk?" I shook my head, still smiling and not realizing I was doing anything wrong by asking my dad about those fascinating birds. The beefeater continued: "We CUT OFF THEIR HEADS!"

My eyes widened at the death threat. I went and hid behind my mother and apparently didn't speak another word for the rest of the day.

Another of our tourist excursions was to Salisbury Cathedral, which was undergoing some construction restoration. As my parents listened politely to the tour guide and observed the beauty of the cathedral, little srah got antsy again and squirmed away. When they caught up with me, I had ducked under some construction tape and barriers and was dancing on the high altar. My mother didn't want to cross the barrier herself, so she had to call to me and cajole me into coming back and behaving myself.

Story #2: I tried out for College Jeopardy over the Spring Break of my freshman year in college. The tryouts were in Ann Arbor, so I decided to give it a shot. I went to Pierpont Commons and took the first level quiz. I don't know if they were actually basing anything on these answers, or if they were just to let people know what kind of questions they would be facing later. I must have passed, because I was given a time slot to return for the next part of the tryout.

When I came back, I was in a classroom full of student desk/chairs. Growing nervous, when asked if there were any questions, I asked if we were ineligible if we weren't U-M students. Everyone in the room turned to look at me like I was some kind of mutant. They said that it was fine as long as I was a college student somewhere.

We took the written test and got our results back almost immediately. The top scorers were asked to stay and advance to the next round. It could have been my imagination, but I felt like there was some "She isn't even from Michigan" grumbling going on when my name was called.

This round consisted of a quick-answer competition. We took turns coming up to the buzzer and practicing ringing in and answering. I did pretty well, but my problem came when they did a mock-interview thing.

Clearly they were looking for people with sparkling personalities who would look good and be interesting on TV. I, unfortunately, fell short there. I couldn't come up with any interesting mini-facts about myself (not that that stops anyone on TV - their factoids are usually so stupid and pointless that I want to hit them, like "My boyfriend calls me Boo" or some crap like that) and I was so nervous and tense it was making me nauseous. So, needless to say, I was not the one they called back. And the one who was called back got severely trounced, so it made me feel better.

Little tiny Albion did get its day to shine the next year, though, when my friend Kurt managed to make it to the show and twice build up a lead and lose it all in Final Jeopardy.

Story #3: When CKane and I were very new to Grenoble, we decided to go to the movies. Grenoble's Petit Bulletin listed the movie theatres in town and the films that were playing in them, as well as giving the cinemas' addresses, but we were new to town and didn't know where we were going.

In the Mood for Love was playing at Le Club, so we looked at our map to find the street that the cinema was on. Makes sense so far, right? We took the tram to that area of town, got off, and headed in the direction of the cinema.

Straight ahead of us, we saw a cinema so we went in. "Une place pour In the Mood for Love, s'il vous plaît," I asked.

He looked at us funny and informed me that they didn't have that movie.

"C'est le cinéma?" I asked. He confirmed that it was.

"Je voudrais un billet pour IN THE MOOD FOR LOVE," I tried repeating it, thinking that he hadn't understood my American pronunciation. He repeated that they didn't have that film. Cheryl and I looked at each other, confused. Maybe the movie was no longer playing here.

"Mais ici c'est un cinéma? Donc vous avez quel film?"

He leaned over the counter and over-enunciated the words for our obviously confused foreign ears, "Ici, SEX films. P0RN0?"

Our sheltered Albion eyes opened wide and we hightailed it out of there. Turns out Le Club was hidden away down the alleyway, not nearly as well-advertised. The big red X on the front probably should have clued us in.

subject: The 2002 Albionian is on its way (almost)!

Dear Class of 2002 alumnus:
Sometime this fall, the 2002 Albionian yearbook will finally be published and mailed directly to you from the publishing company. So I ask ... do I have your correct mailing address?

Do you see anything wrong with this picture? Why are they even bothering to put out a yearbook over a year late? And what does "sometime this fall" mean?

When I was in France, feeling disconnected from everyone back home and receiving alumni newsletters from Albion in the mail, I sent in an Albionote of my own:

Sarah M*****, '02, for the past year has worked as an English assistant in a technical/ professional high school in Cusset, France. She returned to the US in May and will begin graduate studies in the fall with a human-computer interaction specialization at the University of Michigan School of Information. Her Web site is: www.srah.net.

Now that I'm back in the US and don't care, it's finally been published and it embarrasses me. Why is it so much longer than everyone else's? Why did I think anyone would care about the tiniest details of my life? Why did I have to be a nerd and put my URL in there?

Why hasn't anyone actually bothered to visit?, is the question that bothers me most of all. If I'm going to be embarrassed, I might as well get increased traffic out of it.

I had a visit yesterday from CKane, who is leaving in July for two years in the Peace Corps in Guinea. We went out to dinner and caught up on old times and it was great, but what scared me was that this is it. I'm getting old. I don't live with my college friends anymore and see them everyday - I just have to meet up with them for dinner once every few years and catch up on old times. It's a shame that we'll be "catching up" for the rest of our lives.

People from my class at college are getting married and having babies, the disgusting beasts. What is this world coming to?

My weekend this week begins now, at lunchtime on Thursday. Lucky girl! I'm sure I'll have loads to blog on Monday, after my adventures with the Freshies in Grenoble. I'm planning on indirectly telling them they're a bunch of alcoholics. Ha ha. This weekend is also when I'll be seeing the first film from the Club Cinéma, of which I am now a card-carrying member.

My freshman year, our First Year Seminar took a trip to France as part of our studies on cultural understanding and the relationship between Albion and France. Ours was the first year, but now my sister is in the same First Year Seminar and is on her way to France as I write this.

No one from Albion is studying abroad in France this year. It probably has something to do with Dianne and Emmanuel's back-to-back sabbatical years, so there was no one to encourage this year's group to go there. Because Albion has no students studying abroad in France, I am the designated visitee, but I have to go to Paris or Grenoble to be visited. I'm fine with that, if they'll take me out to dinner! I was visited in 2000, too, while studying in Grenoble, so I just have to repeat my role and tell them about differences I've found between France and the U.S., all of which I've lifted from French or Foe? (shhh... don't tell). I am looking forward to seeing Becky and the other happy shiny freshmen. I hope they have fun.

I am at Albion. They told me my Novell account was disabled, but I went to the computer lab in I-House, tried (just to see), and here I am. I even have a printing quota. Anyone want 600 pages of anything on the Albion dollar?

Went to Albion to hear James Earl Jones last night. It was like he was Dr. Guenin-Lelle with a much deeper voice, because he seemed to be teaching my Freshman Seminar. His topic was Culture.

PT opened up by saying that James Earl Jones sounded more like he imagined the voice of God than anyone he'd ever heard. I'm sure it's a common belief, but it scared me because it sounded like Uncle Pete had been reading my blog. Albion gave him an honorary Doctorate of Humane Letters before his speech. "When do I get my honorary doctorate?" I asked Alex. "When you are James Earl Jones," he replied. It'll be a long wait.

Dr. Jones started with a story about when he was in a theater production of a play that took place during the French Revolution. The reviewer made an impression on him when she said that they didn't need to put on French accents or look French to be authentic, but they had to do research and know about the culture of Revolutionary France. "Yes," I said, trance-like, "God told me to learn about French culture. Either that or Darth Vader. Either way, I think I had better learn about French culture."

When he started talking about language as a medium for transmitting culture, I decided I was going to marry him. So did Alex. We had planned to race to him, with threats of violence against each other, as soon as he finished speaking, but he was whisked away at the end. Poo.

He talked about cultural norms and misunderstandings between cultures, including linguistic ones. He told a story about missionaries trying to convert the Inuit people and trying to translate religious concepts into their language. Salvation was translated as "to pull someone from a hole in the ice". They couldn't see what this had to do with religion. The 23rd Psalm ("The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want...") was translated as "The Lord is my keeper, he does not want me. He shoots me down on the beach and pushes me into the water..." Heh heh. Bet Christianity caught on fast there.

I didn't agree with everything he said, but I thought it was a good speech because it made people think and discuss. That's always good.

He answered questions afterwards. I was shocked that some people asked him where he lived and other personal questions. There was, of course, one Star Wars question. He claimed not to remember any of the Darth Vader dialogue and said that to him, David Prowse was Vader and he himself was just a special effect, like a steam machine making the steam rising off a pile of manure.

How poetic.

We are going to see James Earl Jones tomorrow night at Albion. My mother says he sounds like God, although I don't know how she knows that.

Those lucky Albion students. They don't know how good they have it, with their James Earl Jones on campus and their Baldwin food cooked for them. Why, when they're old like me and have to worry about feeding themselves, they'll wish they were back at Albion, with their Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. and their free Internet access. I don't know where I'm going with this. It was supposed to sound old and crotchety.

Anyway, the whole reason I brought this up - to return from a long tangent - was this. How did whiny, high-pitched Anakin "I wanna be the most powerful Jedi" Skywalker, father of whiny, high-pitched Luke "But I wanted to go to the Taaaaaaaashi station and pick up some powwwwwer converrrrrrrters" Skywalker, get this great James Earl Jones voice? It must be the helmet. I want a helmet like that.

I was reading through old letters I had typed up on the computer. It's the closest thing I have to a journal from that time. They are just as boring and pointless as my blog. Let's clip out some of the fun lines and see what I was up to four years ago...

June 7, 1998

Humanities Graduation: Dan Zaret did our speech. Actually, he sang a song. It was about how he had the Leaving Humanities Blues or something. Like:
“We all should have gotten A’s in Vogel’s class,
but we didn’t, because he’s got a stick up his --- Jon Wenk, did you write this?”

and

“Mr. Wolff has a really strong larynx
But we wish he’d stop bitching about his parents.”

August 22, 1998

I think I have a headache, but I'm not sure. It doesn't feel like it's my head.

SLeicher has a roommate with a self-esteem problem. I don't know the details. "I like to get to know people, but they don't like to know me" or something like that. Oh boy!

At the Io, I saw several of the guys I'd seen earlier…Doogie Howser; the Mysterious Kurt, who I've seen somewhere before but I don't know where; Lewis, who Doogie and a yucky guy named Tom (Jim?) had to pick up during one of our activities; Carl, my RA, who is cute in a red-headed sort of way; The Guy in the Orange Shirt; The Guy in the Green Shirt [Neither is related to The Man in the Iron Mask]; Rusty-with-the-interesting-socks-who-isn't-at-all-attractive-but-I-am-attracted-to-his-socks; and of course, the beauteous David C0mfort Look-Alike.

I need to bring a stepstool. This room is teeming with short people (2).

So we had this thing last night called Playfair where we played all these getting-to-know-as-many-people-as-you-can-in-as-short-a-time-as-you-can games. I'm sure you're looking forward to these sorts of things. So I came in with Stephanie and they divided all the people into two lines, but we ended up right next to each other in the same line. Then the lines went running and snaking all around the gym. Then we sat down and played games where you talked to the two people closest to you…Stephanie and some girl I forgot. Then they had us divide up by birth month. Stephanie and I were still together. We were together, like the whole night and completely missed the point: "you won't stay with the people you came in with." I kept trying to get into groups with the guy in the green shirt, but it was not to be. [Hi, this is 2002 srah popping in for a moment here... I have no idea who the guy in the green shirt is. Wish I did.] My favorite game was when he had our 12-person groups break into 3s where the 3s had never met before today. I was with Doogie Howser (whose name is Ian, but it doesn't matter because he looks like DH) and that Tom/Jim guy. I think it's Tom. I'm almost positive. I must've met someone else named Jim. I'm so confused. Anyway, so these groups of 3 were a submarine, sailing ship, and ocean liner. I was the sailing ship. Each ship had to take turns being the Admiral. The Admiral sent his/her 2 first mates out to do things to make people smile. Tom/Jim liked to have us pick people up. DH went first and had no idea what he was doing. I made them give people hi-fives and shake hands and pat people on the head. It was fun. Even when I had to pat tall people on the head and give complete strangers back rubs.

August 23, 1998

Every time I wash my hands, I remember Mr. Van talking about how people get sick a lot in college and how when you wash your hands, you should wash long enough to sing "Yankee Doodle." EVERY TIME. Every time I wash my hands, I get Yankee Doodle in my head. Help me God.

So far, it's been really boring. I actually put all the transactions in my checkbook into Microsoft Money today, just to have something to do. I also alphabetized my reference books, then reordered them in terms of usefulness, and put my books in chronological order by when my first class is, then each book in a class in alphabetical order. Isn't this fascinating?

I just want to go to sleep. But I can't sleep, because it's too hot. AAAAAAAAAAAAH! I gotta find a nice big refrigerator to sleep in. Or go down to the basement "The Pit" where it's cool(er) and sleep with a football player. Or not.

Anyway, French or Foe? is really cool. It's about how the French are different culturally - like French people don't smile unless they have a reason to smile. They don't just smile at you on the street or if they're selling you something like Americans do. We read about smiling so far. French people find it hard to go back to France from the U.S. because it just feels less friendly and open. If you go around smiling at French people in France, they think you're retarded. I love this book!

My Anthropology professor smiles a lot. She smiles all hour. All I could think about was how French people would think she was retarded. Ha ha! But I like her.

No one outside the Albion community will care about any of this, but here is the latest news I picked up while I was there:

Vera Wenzel is working at a Catholic university in Minnesota. Dr. Wenzel is staying at Albion until he retires. I paid $6 to eat lunch in Baldwin. What did I eat? An egg salad sandwich and salad. They didn't even have vinegar and oil for the salad. I saw two Stempkis walking down the street as I drove out of town. Apparently they weren't kicked out - just off-campus. Larry Lloyd, rather than running for public office, has joined the Army. WHA--? Susan Laing is an RD. Dan Westerhof's hair is even bigger than last time I saw him.

Upon their arrival in the U.S., Albion's new native speakers and international students were taken on a tour of Albion, which included passing the Bohm Theatre. Imagine their surprise when they saw XXX plastered on the marquee. So..., they thought, Albion only has one theatre, and that's a porn theatre. Fortunately, we have rectified the situation.

I was amazed, when I was back at Albion yesterday, how many people recognized me. There were people whose names I didn't even know, who knew who I was and that I had graduated in May.

The flipside of that was that there were people I used to talk to quite frequently who didn't realize that I'd graduated. I was quite surprised, as well, to learn how many people didn't know what I am doing this year. Sometimes I feel like I am forever repeating myself on that subject.

One of my favorite professors from Albion is doing a First Year Seminar this fall called "Chance". When told this, I heard that he was doing a class called "Chants" and couldn't figure out what that had to do with math or computer science. On the way home, we were speculating about the Chants class. My favorite part was paying $50 for a great big thick textbook so the students could go "Pie jesu domine, dona eis requiem - THUNK!"

I kept running into Saaataaan today. This is my new name for the RAbid Bitch, since she is no longer my RA. At least I've adjusted to that.

Being back on Albion's campus after I graduated is weird for me. I was hanging out with my old friends, but I was the only one who didn't have a dorm room to arrange, or upcoming classes to talk about. I was getting upset about the new I-House parking lot even though I don't live there anymore and it will probably never affect me. With Alex and Becky still there, I still feel a close tie to the campus, even though I know I should probably be distancing myself. I'm so confused.

We've been moving Becky into Albion today, hence no updates. Hopefully now that she's in a room with 24/7 Internet access, she will update her blog from time to time. Congrats, Becky, and welcome to the #7 Most Wired College in the Country. Bleurgh.

I'm a little confused by the fact that Alfie, Pato, and Jillian are going back to Albion at the end of this month. If they're all going back, why aren't I?

It's weird to be a "grown-up". I don't have that built-in school-year schedule that my brain is used to. Luckily I'll still be in the educational system, in some capacity, for a while now. How will I ever adapt out of it completely?

Back in the day, fraternities had house mothers. They did things like keep them in line and, because there was a lady in the house, they had to behave themselves and act like gentlemen. Or at least, that's my fantasy. They probably had no more control over the frat boys than we do today.

Let's go throw that idea at Uncle Pete. We could create five or six jobs (aren't there any little old ladies in town who want to come beat fratboys into submission?) and try to make fratboys into some semblance of human beings. Maybe we could even make them wear ties. It's worth a shot.

Albion has, rather than kicking us out entirely, moved us to a small basement room with no windows and a leaky ceiling. Bah. I do get to keep my Albion webspace (big woop - I gotta get outta here soon, anyway), but rather than the lovely GroupWise system we had, where you could check messages through the web or through the GW email client, we've been moved to a new online server where our address book has no "Group" capacity. Boo. Blargh. Guess I'll have to get used to it.

If you're an Albion alum who, like me, usually deletes anything Mitch Kyser sends out ("IMPORTANT - They're putting a cupola on top of The Ferg today!" "IMPORTANT - The cupola-putting ceremony has been delayed for an hour!" "IMPORTANT - Sorry, make that two hours!" "IMPORTANT - It is raining, so we're not going to put the cupola on today!") and therefore didn't know about this, you can read about it here. You're welcome.

Not me, anyway. But if you're interested, for some reason, in learning Albion College lingo, look no further. I can't believe they ruined the secret of Woden. I will hate them forever. Forget my alumni money!

'LBN? Loft? Who makes up this crap?

I took down our flags (France, Scotland and the Union Jack). The walls look so bare and unfriendly. I don't like it. :( It almost makes me want to put them back up. I don't like to pack and take things home. I think I need to learn to deal with change better.

Packing is easier if you have boxes. I think I'm going to end up carrying armfuls of nonsense out to the car.

2 days. I hope you're not expecting these to get progressively better.

Freshman year, we had a night where we had three fire drills in the pouring rain the night before a final exam, beginning around 3am. By the last one, people were refusing to go outside. Jillian even slept through one of them.

I just thought of that because I've been through four fire drills and a potential one (it was all smoky but we left before anything went off) in the past month.

Argh. The mystery of the Baccalaureate is solved: it's an "interfaith worship service". Great. Just what this school needs, more religion.

The feeling of a crisp $10 bill in your hand after you've received your deposit on your never-used Honors Observatory key card and handed in your Honors Senior Evaluation full of reasons why the Honors Institute is in no way beneficial to Albion College or to me in particular.

Ah, I love the smell of refund in the afternoon. It smells like... freedom.

6 days.

Freshman year, a game of multilingual Uno broke out on our hall. French, Spanish, German, maybe even some Samoan found its way into the game as we called out numbers and colors and tried to translate things like "draw two" and "reverse". The only rule: no English. It was a level of multilingual fun we don't even get in I-House.

10 days.

One weekend last fall, Ligia, Juan, Alex and I all ended up at I-House with a bag of marshmallows and a can of Pringles. Juan put a little Pringle hat on top of a marshmallow head and then went to find a way to make it stay. Gradually, Marshmallowstein was born. He had a straw for a body and two more for legs, toothpick arms, and later even had clothing. Our artistic creation lived in Ligia's refrigerator for months afterwards.

11 days.

In the spirit of yesterday's cannibalistic song posting, I will post another making-fun-of-people song, which also happens to be a memory from my four years at Albion. This is a song I wrote for Mary Grace, the very stupid girl in my Europe Since 1500 class. It can be sung to the tune of "Amazing Grace".

Oh Mary Grace, I wonder why
this class drags on so slow.
It is because we must explain
the things that you don't know.

Oh Mary Grace, put down your hand.
Don't share your point of view
I hate to say that Adam D**tz
is not as dumb as you.

Oh Mary Grace, you taught us 'bout
the Inquisition - wow!
I didn't know The Church was much
more murd'rous then than now.

Oh Mary Grace, how dumb thou art,
up front in History.
I understand better than than you
a film I didn't see.

Oh Mary Grace, your curly hair
does nothing to conceal
that underneath that fluffy mane's
a hamster on a wheel.

12 days.

At Halloween of my freshman year, I had nothing to wear. So I ran out to Felpausch at the last minute and got some white bunny ears. I dressed all in white (or light khakis) and was a bunny.

Well, what do you do with bunny ears for the rest of the year? I became known on my hall for wearing my bunny ears everywhere. On the hall, around campus, to the coffee house... Ah, attention.

I became identified as "The Bunny". Rabbits became my favorite animal, just because I identify with them. Hence three stuffed bunnies, sitting on my couch.

13 days.

Our Geology TAs were named Gabe and Magda, but Jillian and I, being the clever Geology students that we were, nicknamed them Gabbro and Magma. Ha ha! We had a lot of fun in that class because Gabbro was sort of cute but dumb and we had two hours to do a lab that often needed less than an hour. We were usually the last ones there because we were amusing ourselves by playing with the fossils.

14 days.

My sophomore year, I took Intro to Earth History, a Geology class (lab science credit), with a bunch of other non-science majors from my freshman-year hall. I think the Sophomore Slump was beginning to set in and they were so happy to see each other again that they would very rudely talk through the whole class. And I, unfortunately, was associated with them. One day he kicked our side of the room out but I stayed, because I knew I had done nothing wrong.

I haven't done one of these in several days. Maybe I'm getting low on memories.

16 days.

One day Stephanie, Erin, Julie and I went to Felpausch but instead of making it just any trip to the supermarket, we brought along cameras and pretended we were on vacation at Felpausch. There's a lot of light in supermarkets. I have a nice picture of Erin sitting on the cheese case.

19 days.

One day in our freshman year, Stephanie, Lewis, Jen and I stayed up all night, eating tuna dip and giving (Jen and Lewis) and receiving (Stephanie and me) makeovers. It was actually rather spectacular in my case, being the makeup-less troll that I am. Heh heh. I'm glad I've never had any homework to do during my four years. It makes spontaneous fun-sessions more possible.

Well okay, maybe I've had a little homework, but nothing to interfere with my dazzling social life or anything.

24 days.

An RHA tradition that has been lost in the past few years (I swear, I leave campus and the organization falls apart) is the a-salt-ing of new members. Or old members. Or anyone we want to a-salt. This often consists of putting salt shakers in people's pockets or backpacks when they're not looking or taping salt packets all over their office/room door. For a while, The Great Salterini was stalking our advisor via email. We even have salt-related t-shirts from two years ago. Bring back the salt!

29 days. It sounds like so much less than 30. Mmmm. *shivers in delight*

Freshman year I was at Briton Bash, the beginning-of-the-year activity held to introduce new students to campus organizations. I was walking along when suddenly I froze. Stephanie looked at me funny. "Scottish accent," I explained. I looked around but couldn't see, at first, where it was coming from. Then I spotted him. Hmm, he looked as good as he sounded. From that day forward, the Attractive Scot was known on the hall as "srah's husband". After several weeks or months or so, I even discovered his name. Then he got to know my friends and people on my hall, so I even met him.

Then, my husband was viciously stolen from me by my friend Erin. Actually, I sound lighthearted now, but it was really upsetting at the time. They started going out before I got a crack at him! If only he had found me before Erin, he would have fallen in love with me. I've seen Trainspotting! And Hamish MacBeth! I like Star Wars! I wear lots of plaid! I read Waiting for Godot because he said he'd read it! (I am so pathetic.) I still had a crush on him even when he and Erin were going out. I remember the time Jillian, Lisa and I were sitting in the hall reading a Scottish smut novel out loud and we stopped him as he walked by and made him read it to us. Siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh...

Richard and Erin went out for over a year before deciding that they couldn't handle the long-distance thing any longer, then broke up last Spring. I think her friends were almost as upset about the breakup as she was, just because we liked having him and his accent around. And, of course, the potential of meeting Scottish men at their eventual wedding...

Hmmmm, I wonder if Richard's available now... ; )

30 days.

My sophomore year, my friend, Trivial Pursuit rival (we are still even, I believe), and crush-at-the-time, Kurt Medland, was selected to be on College Jeopardy. This was months after I had gone through the process and had gotten to the second round at U-M's tryouts. We were all very proud of him and made a video clip to support him, got Kurt Medland t-shirts, made him a campus celebrity, and watched him on TV. He did really well in the first round, but choked in Final Jeopardy. Luckily, he still managed to make it to the second round, where he did very well but choked in Final Jeopardy. Recognize a trend?

So today's graduation countdown is dedicated to my friend Kurt, to whom I would just like to say "Harry Potter" (I knew that one!) and "Psycho" (I knew that one too!). So there.

32 days.

My roommate and I are both Sarahs from Ann Arbor (one called Srah to try to ease the confusion, except when someone asks for "Sarah" on the phone) and we went to high school together. We had some friends in common so we were aware of each other, but we didn't really know each other and neither of us really had a problem with that. Then our senior year in high school, we found out that we were both going to Albion so we talked a little more. When I got to college and had to find someone to go to dinner with, I gave her a call once or twice even though we didn't really know each other that well. She got to know my roommate and pretty soon the three of us were hanging out together. When roommating with Stephanie sophomore year didn't work out, we decided we might as well give it a try, if only because we are appliance-compatible. So we did. And here we still are. Dear dear Roommate.

33 days.

Dively and I were driving to Meijers sophomore year, quite late at night. It was a foggy, misty night, in the way that horror movies are sometimes foggy. You could see where the layer of fog hung and the clear air above and below it. One of us remarked to the other that this was the kind of fog that only happened in horror movies, the kind where two girls are driving along and suddenly a man with a hook comes out of nowhere and jumps onto the car. As we were talking about this and freaking each other out, we slowed down to turn onto the freeway ramp and saw a man walking by the ramp. Of course we freaked out and assumed he was a man with a hook who was going to latch on the side of the car and attack us once the car stopped. So we drove shakily to Jackson, then once we got to Meijers, I had to get out on Jen's side so he couldn't attack me. Ah, irrational fear.

36 days. Little over 5 weeks. Dear me, I suppose I have some term papers and final projects to do at some point. Hmmm. Anyway, back to our regularly scheduled daily memory from the past four years.

Freshman year, our R.A., Carl, went away somewhere with his band and left his room unlocked. Big mistake. Lisa Lew and I went into his room and stole his comfortable rolly chair. Then we wrote anonymous ransom notes stating our demands, which I seem to remember were hugs for his residents (we were all very odd about Carl and I think all the girls on the hall had some kind of crush/hero worship going on at some point. I don't understand it now) and an impromptu concert in the hall by the band. I don't remember the hugs, but we did get our concert...

37 days.

Freshman year I was in a Film class where the professor sat us down and told us to make movies, then graded us on what we did wrong. Hmmph. Not bitter or anything. Anyway, my Honors buddy Denny and I made several crappy little films in that class that I have on video and will occasionally show to people if I really like them.

There was the one where the plot was "Sometimes I want to go to sleep but there's always a party on my hall." It included me wearing bunny ears, some footage from Monty Python and the Holy Grail cut in, and a cardboard cut-out of Austin Powers. Yikes. You can see the cameraman in one shot and we switched actresses for one of the parts halfway through filming.

There was the music video where I didn't realize we were allowed to cut the song, so I had way more song than I had footage. It involved using and reusing clips of me spinning around in circles and at one point repeating all of the previous footage. Bad. I can't listen to Semisonic's "Closing Time" without thinking of that video.

There was Denny's video where Larry refused to play himself so we had Carl play him. I remember the talented camerawoman getting a shot of "Larry" with a big Republican Party sign behind his head. Very Larry. Denny doesn't act "asleep" very well.

There was my final project where I decided to make a movie sort of like Sliding Doors, but set in Albion. It might have worked out quite well, except we discovered at the editing stage, when it was too late to refilm, that we had serious sound problems with the dialogue in a few scenes. So did we cut them out? Did we rerecord the sound? No! We made it into a silent film, with little title-cards between shots. WHAT????? There are very clever little in-jokes in the music selection, but no one ever pays attention to the music anyway.

I put Ed Wood to shame.

40 days.

And 40 nights?

One day, early in sophomore year, we were hit by an attack of the Sophomore Slump. After living on top of each other in Wesley the year before, we found ourselves broken up and spread across campus. So Jillian, Erin, Jen and I got together to hang out in Jillian and Erin's room. We sat in the Isolation Corner and sang and danced to depressing songs. We were still sad to be separated, but we discovered that even if we weren't just down the hall, we could always get together when we were down.

42 days.

Freshman year, Harini and Cheryl came to visit me at Albion over Martin Luther King, Jr. weekend. We built snowmen and had a grand old time.

44 days.

My favorite class that I've taken at Albion was English Language. Just like my Computer Science class, I was one of the only ones who was taking it for fun rather than for a requirement. I loved learning about linguistics, the teacher was amusing, and I never missed a class session.

My least favorite class was Great Issues in Science, which met two days a week from 8:30 to 10:00. One and a half hour classes are enough of a pain without being at 8:30 in the morning and being about Science. One of the themes of the class was "How non-scientists view science." There were 12 science majors in the class, plus me. They promised they wouldn't pick on me. They lied.

Krista and I talked about sharing Baldwin recipes... Yesterday I had a sandwich based on something Roommate, Stephanie and I used to do freshman year. It was toast (although when the three of us did it, it was sub buns) with mayonnaise, mozzarella cheese, mushrooms and green pepper between the slices. Nothing fancy, but rather tasty. It's good with black olives too, but the likelihood of finding both mushrooms and olives in Baldwin is low.

47 days.

I was working on a project for my Film class alone in my professor's office my freshman year and it went sort of late into the night. Stephanie and Sarah got rather concerned and sent Campus Safety looking for me. Apparently I didn't make enough noise in the room, because Campus Safety passed right by and reported back to them that I wasn't there. Which set of another round of worrying. I don't know what they would have done if I hadn't called home.

By the way, it is very creepy to be all alone in an academic building during the wee hours of the morning, in case you were wondering. Especially with what you don't know are Campus Safety officers making noises outside the door.

Want to go to sleep... must write book review...

("How did I get into this nutshell?")

Sixteen Candles - rather entertaining, Molly Ringwald is v. bad actress
Plan 9 From Outer Space - the worst movie ever made, therefore one of the best movies ever made
Naked Gun 33 1/3 - hee hee
Domestic Disturbance or some such band-name (sorry, Domestic Problems) - was listening with half an ear while playing pool. The singer was once an Albion Little Sib.
The Waterboy - I dunno, Becky wanted to watch it. Adam Sandler is less offensive than I remembered. Maybe I'm immune. Little girls are the devil.
The Matthew Shepard Story - Alex and I were allowed to watch this during Waterboy commercials. Thank you, your highness.
Tamara Bedricky - had a raspberry hot chocolate at the Coffee House and was one of the few who recognized some of her songs (that's what happens when you live with Roommate). She is now somewhere in the I-House, getting drunk. Want to meet a drunken rock star? Not particularly.
Saturday Night Live - see below

Good that we participated in a lot of Little Sibs activities. Harrumph.

49 days.

Sophomore year, while studying for a Europe Since 1500 test, Bob and I got distracted and started talking about How Much Andie McDowell Sucks (a lot), and began explaining European history as the whims of the Magic Power Elves, who decide to lend their support to one country or another, and that is why a country is more powerful than others at any given time. It went on and on from there... I seem to remember the Magic Power Elves liked tea.

If things do not belong to you, don't take them. Don't use them. They don't belong to you.

Weird towels on the rack, blonde hairs in Roommate's hairbrush, and lipstick on my towel. These are all out of place. Stop it.

Why do the Spanish and German departments have essay-writing contests for their end-of-the-year prize and French has poetry reading? First of all, poetry sucks. Second of all, I'd much rather write something than stand up and read something.

But I might enter anyway. I'm having this voraciously competitive streak right now. I entered the Off-Campus Photo contest (money money money). I want to apply for a Lux Fiat award (looks good on applications). I'll enter this stupid poetry award thing (might look good on applications). I'll play at the game show tonight (money money money). AND I WILL DOMINATE. I WILL WHUP SOME BEHIND. (power power power)

This mood will probably go away once I lose tonight and realize I have to write an essay for the Lux Fiat thing.

51 days.

When I was a SOAR leader at the beginning of the year, I was pushing all of my baby chicks from Baldwin to the health center. I held the door for them, then one of them complained that I had shut the door on his invisible tail. Good thing we were going to the health center, then. We spent the trip to the health center discussing whether it would be better to have a tail or the ability to fly. What a weirdo. Who would have thought I'd be dating him now?

I'm going to try to put down one memory from the past four years every day in my Graduation countdown. It's mostly for my own benefit, as none of you are going to know what I'm talking about.

54 days.

One weekend during Freshman year, Dively, Jillian and I stayed up all night long, just for the sake of staying up all night long. When morning came, we danced around on the steps of the chapel in our pyjamas, tried to watch the sun come up (too many buildings) and waited for Baldwin to open for breakfast.

Caroline is dying. I water her. I put her by a window where she would be in a bright location without direct sunlight. I think I've been keeping her at room temperature. I think she hates me.

Roommate has somehow inherited seven little fish that no one (including her) wanted. Great, more stuff for us to kill.

Here are the things we got up to tonight.

How to make Roommate disappear

EmotionAlex and EmotionSrah
(mouse-over for captions)

Aren't we cute?

Ooooh, artsy-fartsy
(mouse-over for captions)

The Worst Picture Of Me Ever
Alex said "Be... Albion". I didn't know how to be Albion, so I made this strange dramatic face. The face, the angle, and the light have conspired to make me look like I am some kind of horrible Jim Henson creation gone wrong having a religious experience. It is quite a sight to see.

Channel 35 is SCOLA. It probably stands for something. Scholastic Channel Of Language Aquisition, we'll call it. It shows news or other programs from around the world. They cram an amazing number of countries there so at any time of the day, you could be watching the Azerbaijanian news or a Quebecois variety show.

Alex and I were flipping through the channels on Saturday and there was nothing on the first 33 channels. We got all the way up to SCOLA and they were having some kind of Taiwanese New Year celebration. My favorite part was this big song-and-dance extravaganza. There was the host, then a bunch of people in various costumes. There were brides and grooms, cheerleaders, students, flight attendants, military people, and many more.

From what I could gather, the theme of the song seemed to be "China is reaching out to the world and learning English is a good way to start off the new year." The chorus went something like "China to the World! Okay!" The song was about half Chinese and half English, with the Chinese words subtitled in Chinese and the English words subtitled in English. I assume they were saying things in Chinese and then saying the same thing in English. In which case, the Taiwanese are insane.

It started off normal enough. The brides and grooms would come up to the front of the stage and everyone would say "lweirojcfs (something in Chinese) I love you." The students would come up and everyone would say "lweirojcfs Stay in school." The flight attendants said "lweirojcfs Can I help you?"

But then the second time around, things started getting weird. The brides and grooms said, with big smiles on their faces, "lweirojcfs I'm sorry" and the military people said "lweirojcfs TAXI!" and so on and so on. Maybe if I understood Chinese, I would understand the motivation behind the TAXI! thing. Maybe not.

Is it wrong to dislike people on the behalf of your friends? I don't know if it's wrong so much as it's pointless.

I seem to be building a collection of people to dislike, although they haven't done anything to me personally. Sneering at them when I see them isn't really going to do anything because they won't realize how they've offended me and will just think that I'm an unpleasant person.

Take, for example, Bob's little blue-haired friend who talks through class and whines and complains. If I sneer at her, she's not going to connect me back to Bob and realize that I'm sneering at her because she represents all of the annoying classmates who have made my life difficult. (Sneer is a cool word. I think I have used it so many times in this post that it has lost all meaning for me.)

Or there's Pleiad-Blind-Date-Girl (ha ha, just in case you wanted to know exactly who I was talking about so you can sneer too), who called Yen (who is from Vietnam) Chinese and when corrected by Samata proceeded to say "Chinese, Japanese, Oriental, whatever" and continued to call Yen Chinese over and over. Perhaps I should approach them both in the cafeteria, tap them on the shoulder and say "Just so you know, I'm sneering at you. And here's why..."

Maybe I should just mind my own business and let my friends fight their own battles.

Skating was lots of fun. I only fell once and in my defense, it was because Samata pulled me down with her. I landed hard on my butt and I am convinced it is broken, although no one else really believes me. Owwwwwwww...

We may or may not be going skating tonight as a goodbye get-together for Ayako, who is moving to Connecticut. The stinking rink doesn't have open skate until 8:30pm.

I haven't skated in several years now! And I never really got the idea of braking down, so I just coast to a stop or skate myself into the boards.

I'm home. I'm not dead. Don't be concerned (if you were). The snow disappeared by the time we got to Ohio, so we didn't go careening off the road or anything.

We spent Friday night in a hotel and I shared a room with Samata, Ligia, and Alex. It was fun, but we stayed up too late watching Road Trip. Mmmm, not really worth it. But we stayed in a really nice hotel (too nice if you ask me, but I'll let the treasurer worry about that) and they had a delicious breakfast the next day, then we set off to the College of Wooster campus.

The main theme of the weekend seemed to be "Wooster is so much better than Albion because..." Wooster won out for cafeteria, bookstore, international dorm, number of international students, and campus entertainment, but Albion did get points for international student diversity, better tea, and drinkable grape juice.

We met up with our hosts (I stayed with Ligia and our host was from Nantes, France - which is where Antoine is from, too) and had some opening talks, ate lunch in the cafeteria, then had our workshops. Mine was History and Legacy which was really fun, except that they tried to get me to represent Botswana when I don't know anything about it. I finally talked them into letting me be a non-fat American in our skit about stereotypes. Our group leader was Daniel from Bulgaria, who the whole Albion delegation seemed to develop a crush on.

Then we went to the leadership seminar and learned that other schools have enormous budgets but problems in other areas, like international student diversity or involvement.

We had dinner (the ice cream machine was BROOOOOOKEN and I'm never going to forgive myself for passing up espresso chip at lunch), then we went to do our presentations and skits. The seniors had a little more diverse ideas, but the Albion freshmen were all in the Theatre and Dance program. We were all very entertaining, especially the many-international-tales-combined skits that they put on. Alex played Ram from the Ramayana and got to scream "Sitaaaaaaaaaa!" very dramatically.

We had an evening of fun which consisted of sitting around Luce Hall watching TV for a while, but then around 10 we headed over to The Underground, Wooster's bar/dance club. WHY don't we have one of these? WHY? Anyway, they had open mic night, then we danced the night away until I thought I was going to fall over.

Today we slept in the car. Zzzzzzzzzzz. Now I'm back.

Did you miss me?

There is something seriously wrong with this Kellogg Centre computer. It keeps making Blogger eat my posts. I don't blame you, Blogger.

As I was saying, before my post was so rudely eaten, my CS professor has cancelled Monday's class and pushed the test till Tuesday so that we can watch the Super Bowl Commercials Show. He may have mentioned something about football, too.

Off I go to be evaluated in Spanish.

It was a conspiracy. A conspiracy, I tell you! The Weakest Link is probably a pretty dangerous game to play on a small college campus. I didn't even know who she was before the game, but for some reason EA was gunning for me the whole time so now I think I'm always going to be rather resentful when I think of her. Not that I hold grudges or anything. *ahem*. Of course not.

Anyway, yes, it was a DG conspiracy, but after I got kicked off (there were four after me, so that makes me... what, the sixth kicked off?), the person who was my favorite of the people left one. So that's good. And I got a free pizza out of the deal. So yay.

But I hate The Weakest Link. It's an evil nasty back-stabbing game.

No wonder sorority girls did so well.

ALBION, MI -- A van carrying eleven Albion College students and their organization's advisor to a conference in Ohio careened off the road today, killing everyone inside. One student, later identified by the tag in her underpants as Sarah M*****, managed to croak a few last words to our reporter on the scene before croaking herself. "Damned snow and ice," she whispered, clutching at the reporter's arm as the rescue team tried to dig her out from under the pile of CDs and games she had brought along on the trip, "I knew this was going to happen. Eleven students and an advisor in a college van on the way to a conference in this weather is just a recipe for disaster."

If I don't blog anything by Monday, you'll know why.

P.S. I don't really have my name written on my underpants. Do you? (Why would you have my name on your underpants?)

Last night we (several members of ISU and the Wenzels) went to the Japan America Society of Western Michigan's New Year's rentai (networking) and film. What a great experience.

First we filled up on Japanese food like rice, noodles, fried vegetables, shrimp and vegetables, and sushi. There was a lot of food and it was all excellent. We all at least tried to eat with chopsticks.

Then we went into the auditorium and saw a Japanese juggling group. Normally, if I hear the word juggling I start to squirm and look longingly towards the exit. Not such a big fan of Western-style juggling, me. But this was completely new and different. First they juggled using umbrellas. They would spin the umbrella and make a ball or a ring or a porcelain cup spin around on top. It made a cool noise.

Before the juggling, they had played some traditional music and done the Lion Dance for good luck. The big lion head came around and sort of kissed audience members.

Then after the juggling, they did several incredible balancing acts. I was afraid to clap loudly because I thought everything was going to fall. They would assemble pyramids of stuff on top of a stick in their mouths, all the while keeping it balanced. Then they'd disassemble it. It was amazing. They balanced water, or put water into a bowl on top of a stick, then balanced the stick on a string. Then they spun the string around the stick and made the water come out like a sprinkler. Anyway, I don't know if you can imagine this, but it was great.

Then we had the film. For those of you who liked Amélie, you would probably like Tampopo. It has the same sense of nonsense and whimsy. The main story is about a noodle cook named Tampopo (Dandelion) who, with the help of her friends, builds up her restaurant into the best in town. A lot of it is sort of like Rocky being trained by John Wayne and aided by Mr Miyagi. Ha ha! But the theme of the movie is the joy of food and there are all kinds of side-stories relating to that subject. There's the Japanese woman trying to teach her students how to eat spaghetti properly in the Western way, while a Western man across the room is slurping away at his noodles. There's the woman who sneaks into the supermarket to squeeze all of the produce. There's the pipsqueak underling who embarrasses all of his bosses by being the only one in the room who really understands the menu in the French restaurant. There's the epicurean vagabonds in the park, the kid who's not supposed to have sweets, and the couple whose sexual exploits always seem to be food-related. We had just stuffed ourselves and we still left the movie hungry and searching for a Japanese noodle restaurant in Battle Creek. It's an excellent, fun movie and you should all check it out.

Something I learned: Ramen is the Japanese word for noodles - so if you say "ramen noodles" you're being redundant.

I went to Casino Night tonight with Boyfriend and Alfie. Somehow managed to end up with more "money" by the end than they had handed me when I came in. AND YET, when my "money" was traded in for raffle tickets at the end, my absent Roommate's one ticket ended up being more valuable than all seven of mine. Grrrrrrrr. Still, I'm not quite as ignorant about casino games as I was and I don't think I've formed a terrible debilitating habit. So, good night overall!

Now we're off to bed so we can be bright-eyed and bushy tailed for tomorrow's activities.

You: "I pay twenty-five thousand dollars a year, so I should get X."
Me: "Stick it in your ear."

Just got back from an hour-and-a-half conversation with Ellen and Roommate that included, among other things, the lovely lovely sense of entitlement that so many Albion students (especially the spoiled rich kids, the ones who actually do pay full tuition) seem to have. "I pay $25,000 so I should be able to drink where and when I want to." "I pay $25,000 so I should be able to have a single room." First of all, your parents are the ones paying, and second of all, that attitude isn't going to get you anywhere. Third of all... I don't know where I was going with this.

I don't know who I am to talk... my parents are paying my after-scholarship remainder, too.

Now that we've passed the credit/no-credit deadline, I keep thinking that I should have taken this or that class for credit. Unfortunately, I'm thinking that about 3 of the 4. So maybe it's best that I didn't - so that I'll be forced to work hard in all of my classes and not just the fun one.

I think my grumpy days are caused by not showering. When I'm dirty, I don't feel like doing anything. You would think that would teach me to shower promptly every morning. But no.

Roommate has super-sensitive popcorn senses.

Although Thursday should be my sleeping-in day, one of my duties as President of ISU is to attend Umbrella Group meetings (Umbrella oversees all of the multicultural/diversity groups). So I got an email from the President of Umbrella Group saying that the meetings would be Thursdays at 10 in "the usual place". Well, the one time last semester that I had been to a meeting, they were in the basement of Multicultural Affairs. So I showered, wrapped my wet hair in my scarf and trudged across campus. I was going to be a few minutes late, but nothing too scandalous.

Except they weren't there. No one in the office knew where they met, either. But they were nice enough to call all over campus looking for the meeting, which turned out to be in the Kellogg Centre, right next door to my dorm. Hooray. I slunk in around 10:20 and was pretty much ignored. They talked the whole time about stuff I didn't know anything about because I hadn't been President last semester, then they introduced the new members of Umbrella Group, some two random officers from BTS. I am evidently not new, just late. Greaaaaaaaaaaat. I feel appreciated.

Often, RHA meetings can be as boring as crap and everyone is unhappy to be there. What a great organization. But tonight we were (read: I was) a little wacky. It was fun again and we got off on tangents like how funny I am (so funny), Ellen's embezzlement plans (trip to Aruba, then blaming lost funds on the ex-treasurer), and the Albion Nosepickers Anonymous Society, which doesn't exist (yet). Then I sat under the table for a while and untied Lisa's shoelaces. I am quite mature.

We don't always get a lot done, but sometimes we have fun doing it.

When we do CS labs, we have to include a lot of personal information so that our lab experience is individual and different from our neighbor's. For example, when we were learning about searching the WWW, we had to search on our name, find a site related to our favorite movie, etc. In our latest lab on using MS Word 2K, we had to enter information about our major into a table.

I like to think that the professor is going to check this stuff out and be interested in us personally, but it's a lot of information to go through and I doubt it. Ho hum. I like attention.

Happy Wednesday. I am done with my CS labs for tomorrow and Friday. Yay me.

Moo.

Just in case you wondered, it is . I hope I have correctly remembered phonemic transcription from the beginning of last semester.

Just got back from Felpausch. Two observations.

(1) The exact same thing happened to me that happened last time I went to Felpausch. Well... minus the beer. I may have even been in the same parking space. I think I am cursed.

(2) I think the number one foodstuff consumed by Albionites (Albionians?) is taco chips. Really, if you look at the selection, I don't know what other conclusion can be reached. There are great numbers and varieties in this section that can be seen nowhere else in the store.

I counted - in my four classes, there are ten males. That's something like ten out of 54. Sometimes liberal arts schools are like that, but Albion is somewhere near 50/50 - maybe 47/53. So where are all the males? They're probably taking something like economics. Yeeeeeeew.

25% of my French class is male. This is an enormous percentage for a French class, but is not really that impressive when you find out that there are only four of us in the class. 6/7 of my History class is female. I'm not sure about Spanish, but I think my CS class may also have a female majority.

People used to ask me why I never had a boyfriend. Where was I, a French major who takes classes like Women in Art, supposed to meet guys?

One of the labs in my CS class is on Mathematica. I have no idea what it does, but Mr Enlow's always talking about it...

The class is full of seniors who haven't gotten around to fulfilling their non-lab science class requirement and thus are taking Computer Science For The Math-Deficient in their last semester. I, on the other hand, have been trying to take this class (for my own benefit) since sophomore year and never managed to get in until now. It's going to be just like my English Language class, where I listened with rapt attention to everything Dr Wyss said, then the rest of the class left at the end wondering why they, as Education majors, were required to take such a boring class.

My favorite class at Albion was where I was the only one interested. My least favorite class at Albion was where I was the only one who wasn't interested.

Dr. Horstman seems funny, but he doesn't seem to like anyone, with the possible exception (maybe, but maybe not) of the English. He has a lot of stereotypes about the French (smelliness, etc.) that he likes to throw out and I don't particularly appreciate that. Also, when he was talking about how the English called the French frogs, he asked what the French call the English and the girl next to me said "roast beef" (rosbif) and he corrected her, saying that it was "beefsteak". Wrong. I don't like to start out class knowing, on the first day, that the professor is misinforming us... even if it's something as trivial and unimportant to the course as that.

At home, I had to be up at 6:45 to go to work at 8.

This semester, I can get up at 8:45 to go to class at 9.

I love school.

I want my grades. We're supposed to get them a week from today. Arrrrrrrrr.

Bob and Roommate say I'm Bette Davis in All About Eve. Reading the summary, I have to say that's a little scary. Now I have to rent it.

What would you think of someone who had a former friend/acquaintance who she now not only avoided but talked about behind their back, trying to convince others to dislike them as well? What if that person offered her a gift and she accepted it, not because she really wanted it or anything, but just for the sake of mooching free stuff off that friend? Then what if the person threw a party and she purposely avoided it?

Yerm. Srah is not a nice person. "She" would be me and the former friend would be the Honors Institute.

That's pretty crummy. I'm going to make a New Year's/earlier resolution to try to be nicer (to people in general, not just the HI) and to follow Thumper's advice: If you can't say nothin' nice, don't say nothin' at all.

I had a 'ripping lentil soup' in Women in Art class today (virtual high-five if you can beat Alfie in identifying the quote) and Dr Yewah ended our last French class of the semester by telling us we should listen to "Car Talk" on NPR.

For some reason the members of SAI are all standing in a line in the I-House lobby in their white dresses. I haven't decided if they look like a cult or a bunch of virgins preparing to be sacrificed to the gods. Sororities are creeeeeeeepy.

Krista's question of the week has to do with roommate horror stories. I don't really have anything to share. My roommate-experiences at Albion have been quite positive.

Freshman year I was matched up with Stephanie. We don't see much of each other anymore but I think we worked quite well when we were living together. At the beginning, it was quite strange, because we kept finding new things that we had in common - from the language major (Spanish for her, French for me) to the fact that we had the same towels. But anyway, we lived in peace and happiness and were friends rather than people forced to sleep in the same room by the Evil Whims of Residential Life.

When it came time to pick a roommate for sophomore year, Stephanie was no longer available (for one reason then another, but we won't go into that) so I ended up in a situation that never in my wildest imagination would I have thought of a year earlier: living with Roommate. Well, maybe a year, but not two. I started warming up to her once I found out she was going to Albion. Point is, Roommate and I went to high school together and had friends in common, but were not exactly happy friendy-friends. Hmm. But once we were at Albion and needed familiar faces to eat dinner with, things worked out. Worked out enough that our friendship and discovered appliance-compatibility (I had the fridge and TV, she had the VCR, microwave, etc.) brought us together as camarades de chambre. That and the fact that she has a kick-ass Hot Pot. That is the whole reason we live together, but don't tell her.

So sophomore year we lived together in Spanish House first semester, then 'moved on up' to the Bowling Alley of German House. Mmmm: closet space and a/c. Not so mmmm: diagonal ceiling and ladybug-leaking a/c. We are friends enough to get along and have a good time in our room, but not too friends (since when is friends an adjective?) to fight. I know her well enough to know how hedgehog-like she is - prickly on the outside, but warm and cuddly and poetic on the inside. I bet you didn't know hedgehogs wrote poetry!

Junior year I was gone all year and Roommate missed me terribly, or so she says. I got an enormous room all to myself with my host family. Nanny nanny boo boo.

Now we're finally in the French House, where we belong. We both agree that the room is a mess, and every few months we do something about that. We cleaned up the floor Friday or Saturday, and the mess is already creeping back. Hmmmm.

Anyway, I don't know why I wrote all of this, except to say that "Roommate, I appreciate you. You are great. I hope that when I am living in a two-person cardboard box, or perhaps une boîte en carton, my boxmate or camarade de boîte will be as cool as you."

I DON'T WANT TO EAT VAGINA COOKIES. (There, got your attention, didn't I?) I DON'T WANT TO EAT FROM A PLACEMAT THAT LOOKS LIKE GENITALIA.
Am I being a prude, or is this totally normal? Bille, my Women and Art teacher, wants to have a "Lunch Party" inspired by Judy Chicago's "Dinner Party", where all of the place settings were based on female genitalia imagery. On Friday we're supposed to decorate our placemats. Is it wrong of me to want to skip class and hide in my room?

I was walking to Art class (for the second time) and watching people walking around campus (yes, I'm the Crazy Girl Who Stares At People) and thinking that none of these people look old enough for the Real World. If I were a job interviewer, I think I would just look at myself and laugh.

Please don't tell anyone my horrible terrible not-so-secret secret: I am really incredibly dumb.

Often this stupidity manifests itself in an incapability to tell time. Yeah. That would probably explain why I walked over to Bobbitt for my Women and Art class and no one was there. It appears I'm the only one who loved the class so much they wanted to be there an hour early. I suppose that's what 4.5 hours of sleep will do to you...

Cheryl is the *star* of my English Language paper. Yay, I'm finished! I used many familiar words from the blog like surveil and decommend and wrote about me using words from French in English conversation, whether accidently or expressly.

Now, as predicted, I can blog until I collapse. Except I have nothing to say. Bah! *slump*

Isn't my hand creepy in this picture? -->

Hail to the chief! I have been elected president of ISU.

Huh. How about that.

Roommate is the greatest. She is going to the store for me even though I woke her up at the ungodly hour of 11am with my raucous Charles Aznavour. By the way, Roommate, it's Herman Melville.

The fact that I am communicating with my roommate through the medium of blog [the medium of blog... that sounds poetic or something] is almost as creepy as IMing her from 3 feet away.

I am completely obsessed with the fact that this morning, I took a shower BEFORE Spanish class (and thus before mid-afternoon) for the first time in SEVERAL MONTHS.

I think I'm proud of myself for being clean for my compañeros de clase for the first time in a while. I wonder if they recognized me - I have the feeling that at 8am their eyes are all closed and they rely on their sense of smell to recognize people.

This is also the first time in... maybe one month... that I am clean for my tutorial. You have no idea how exciting this is. And I have no idea why this is exciting. Maybe it's because I got up early to take a shower and I'm in that sleep-deprived state where everything is exciting.

Roommate was concerned that this was the first time in several months that I'd taken a shower at all...

I was watching someone in class today who has a nervous tic bordering on obsessive/compulsive disorder and thinking "What if that is so subconscious that I am doing something like that right now and don't even realize it!"

My classes should be more interesting so I don't get into all of this random abstract thought.

Today I almost ran into Leslie Cavell when I was leaving Bobbitt and it got me to thinking... I don't know much about the doppelganger myth, but what would have happened if I had actually touched her? Would there have been a flash of blinding light and then one of us would have disappeared? Could we just walk right through each other? Having your evil twin on campus is quite a thought-provoking experience.

Is she the evil one?...

The end of the semester looms menacingly. I have not started the research on either of my term papers and have not yet decided on a topic for one of them. Oops.

I hope I learn something valuable in Survey of Computing. Sometimes I feel like a complete ignoramus in the world of computers. I can probably do more than the average person on the Internet, but there are still lots of people who are more skilled than I am... and I have no idea what to do when I have a computer problem (alt+ctrl+delete and hope it goes away when the computer restarts...) or how the buggers work on the inside.

I technically could graduate in December, but I'll be using this last semester to pick up valuable computer and business French skills to use in my future career... whatever that is.

If you have used any of the vocabulary I've created on this page in your normal everyday life, please leave some examples in the you blah blahs and help me out with my English Language paper. I'm thinking of doing it on myself...

The French House Dinner was an interesting dichotomy of Fun and Screaming. I mean to say, it was more stressful than expected (or than remembered from past years), but it was also more fun than expected. I had a good time doing the can-can and cleaning up and the food was superdelicious. The serving was a stress-fest for everyone involved. But overall, I think we beat out the German House!

Every time I hear Offenbach's "Orpheus in the Underworld" I'm going to have to do our little dance.

I am nominated for ISU President. I don't quite know what to do about that. I'll have to think it over and talk to Ayako. I don't know if it would be easier to be president than secretary of yet another club, but...

I am taking Tudor/Stuart England, Survey of Computing, Spanish 102, and Business French. I have a heavy morning and no classes Thursday. Odd.

I registered for the last time at Albion today. I find that I have no emotional attachment to the Albion registration system and will not miss it at all.

Where did Friday go? Why didn't I write anything about Friday night? Why?

Friday we went to Dively's. I had dinner with Jen, Erin, Alex, Kurt, and Dan. It was very tasty, as it always is, and it was nice to see all of those folks again. Kurt, Alex and I read through a big chunk of Engrish.com and giggled about it all through dinner.

Then later we went to the Holly Hughes thing. At least three people I've talked to came away from it wondering what the difference was between performance art and stand-up comedy. So it was more entertaining than expected! Which is good, because I wasn't expecting much. Shawn Marie was good, too. I felt proud of her, somehow. I think she's nice.

Alex and I tried to be social Friday night (really, we did!), but Samata never called us back or something. So we had to put up with smoochy-smooching instead. Mwah ha. Ew, you didn't want to hear that.

I told Boyfriend I was going to bed about 1/2 hour ago. Sorry, Alex. I have a Blogging Problem. Which, I suppose, explains why I'm going to join the ranks of the B.A.s in May.

Ha ha. I am funny. I am ROFL. Woo woo. I am bursting with humour. Buhboi.

My roommate is so great, and I so suck. I came home and all of her crap was picked up. Now I look even slobbier, because I have an enormous pile. Grrrrr. Boo on me. My To Do list grows and grows.

I don't like the Eat Shop.

I think one thing I miss from last year is the anonymity of living in a city and travelling around. Albion can be a bit claustrophobic.

Skipped Spanish, French tutorial was cancelled, Spanish tutorial was cancelled. What have I done with my day?????? Nothing productive, anyway.

Went to the Graduate School fair, which was totally lame, unless you were planning on going to law school. I stopped at one of the tables to see if they had any programs that interested me and the recruiter pulled me in and made me talk to her. I signed up for more information and it wasn't until she'd let me go and moved in on Dan (who I was with) that I looked at the display and the brochures and everything and saw all of the stuff about it being "a Christian institution to help guide you to the path that God has chosen for you" or some such nonsense. Oh dear me. I thought it might not be too polite to snatch back the card and say "Sorry, I don't go in for that Jesus stuff" so hopefully I can just get off their mailing lists. I talked to the woman at EMU, but I got the feeling she didn't know what she was talking about and just liked to hear the sound of her own voice.

This evening, I painted a ceramic tile. Actually, two. Because I am a cheater. Bad srah, bad. Anyway. It was very amoosing and it was fun to spend time with Samata, Ligia, Alexandra and Alisha. I have great artistic talent, I'm sure. Then Alex and I chatted with Jen Dively and Alex got us invited over for dinner by making cute little faces at Jen and begging for lemon cake. Geek.

Then we had our French House meeting and practiced our big floor show for the dinner. Someone who shall remain nameless because I can't remember her name at the moment anyway was being a heinous bitch and trying to take over the dance even though she doesn't live in French House. We're behind you, Piper. We can take her. Some people are way too serious about this dance, though. Chill out. I love Sheila - she has the best attitude of all. I'm going to give her a great big cyber-hug that she can have if she ever reads this.

My roommate is at the Cake concert with her mommy. Hee hee.

I had something else to say but it's slipped my mind. Buhboi.

Sorry, readers. I have nothing interesting to say.

We had an RHA meeting last night and I wanted to slap Hans because he doesn't listen to anything anyone else has to say. Diana Ariza, Director of Multicultural Affairs, has the biggest dog I have seen in my life. I think it's half Newfoundland and half walrus.

Vocabulary from my weblog is slowly creeping into everyday speech. Yay! Triumph! Gotta spread it around campus now, as the only people using it so far are those reading the blog.

Blog blog blog, Jen Dively. :)

Holy nonsense.

Incessantly Talking Girl gave her Women in Art presentation in costume. Why why why? As if it wasn't painful enough that I had to go to class solely for the purpose of listening to her talk (what am I talking about? That's every day in Women in Art), I have to listen to her talk dressed as an Edwardian architect. Incessantly Talking Girl is sesquipedalian. "I have salvaged various pieces of gingerbread and lattice..."

I'm a catty little monster. I should behave myself.

I hate hate hate it when people say "antidote" when they mean "anecdote".

Finally finished my paper at 3am. Yuck! I don't think it was very good, but I hope it made some sort of sense and perhaps vaguely resembled what Dr Wyss wanted from it.

Crashed on the couch while it was printing and had a dream where Roommate and Rob were going to the Cake concert together, except it was Rob who was my roommate. There was a lot of other extremely strange stuff going on, but I lost it all in the process of waking up.

I feel so free now that those papers are done. Mwah ha. That would explain why I've spent the past several hours reading random blogs and finding these fun sites to recommend:

Japanese Engrish
Bunny Survival Tests

Someday, if BlogBack ever decides to stop being broken, you will be able to click on [you blah blah] to respond to my blog entries and share your own thoughts or opinions or to say "This blog is a complete waste of time, you loser."

I don't think it's occurred to me yet that it's almost midnight and I now have to start my second paper. Boy, can't wait for that message to make it to the ol' brain.

My boyfriend is so cute.

I want to go to sleep. I don't want to write a paper. But I guess I'd better. I have a feeling my lovely English Language grade is going to take a dive.

The other night in Baldwin, Jillian and I were forced to share the last packet of Earl Grey so we wrote a letter to Baldwin, saying something along the lines of

"My friend keeps drinking all of the Earl Grey in Baldwin, so could you please get some more. We drink about 3-4 cups each per day."

Then yesterday Jillian was in Baldwin by herself and was just thinking 'I wonder if they pay any attention to those comment slips," when she heard laughter coming from the staff table and something to the effect of "My friend keeps drinking all of the Earl Grey in Baldwin..."

Unfortunately... IT DIDN'T WORK! I'm going to have to start bringing my own tea. Boo.

Another fruitful teatime with Cheryl! We founded the Society for the Institution of Zed in order to reintroduce "zed" as the pronounciation for the letter Z. Cheryl crosses her Zs, which gets her a gold star right on her forehead.

We also wrote a letter that we forgot to send to Baldwin, which is unrivaled in poetic greatness:

-----
Dearest Beloved Baldwin,

My name is Stan
and i don't like cran
berry tea.

My last name is Zimmerman
and i don't like cinnamon
tea.
either.

ethereal earl elates
gargantuan grey
gregarious grey
graciously grants guzzling glee

earl is a pearl
in the oyster that is Baldwin

EARL GREY... BACK IN THE BASKET
-----

Me: "I know why the caged Equal sings."
Cheryl: "I don't know, but watch the sequel."

Okay, I am not funny. You probably had to be there.

Last night Alex and I watched Star Wars: A New Hope and I fell asleep. Shame on me. The Special Edition definitely has better sound quality, although you have to put up with a lot of silly additions for it. Watching the first scene with the ship appearing from the top of the screen made me think that Star Wars movies belong in a theatre. I miss Norris 101 movies.

Jillian and I are drinking all of the Earl Grey in Baldwin. Mwah ha! Another convert to the World Of Tea Addiction!

Marian needs to get his own AIM account because one of these days Yen is going to IM me for real and I'm going to be mean to her.

I am playing with penguins!

Jillian has introduced a new vocabulary word! Hooray! Erin Lewis and I got this email from her:

to beswink - "Chris Moore is on campus and i was talking to him today about beswinking. this is a term that he and his friends coined to define the act of an upperclassmen dating or pursuing an underclassmen. apparently you get points depending on the age difference. the most points go to a senior dating a freshman and if the girl is the senior she gets even more points. so congratulations on being the ultimate beswinkers."

Freshmen are so fun and hormonal. Everything is ORGY ORGY ORGY with them. I wonder if posting that is going to make my weblog come up in naughty Internet searches. One can only hope...

I don't know if I should be disappointed or relieved that the Women in Art paper I stressed about but didn't do is due next Friday instead of today.

I admire education majors because they know THAT they want to teach and they know WHAT they want to teach by the time they graduate. Way to make decisions, folks. Now stop making my life miserable in English Language class with your whining about how you *have* to take the class. Some of us are big geeks and are taking it for fun.

Happy Día de Muertos. I am celebrating by not going to Spanish class. Sorry, Fanny and Mariana. I have a Women in Art thingy to write.

Danced le french can-can at French House Meeting. Hurrah, it was fun. Mwah ha ha. "French House Dinner is going to rock the I-House!" she said quite dorkily.

Yes, EVERY Tuesday.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! <-- [post ISU-meeting stress-relief screaming]

I'm so boring, just talking about movies for the past few days. Don't worry - that's because I have no original thoughts or emotions of my own.

A big hello goes out to my two loyal (only) readers - Roommate and Boyfriend.

I am skipping my afternoon classes due to unwellness. Probably not a word, but that's okay because communication has taken place. Yeah communication!

At lunch, we had a nice session of Liberal Arts at Work as Humanities/Social Science majors did some chemistry experimenting at the expense of whoever cleans up the Baldwin trays when they get to the end of the Magical Conveyor Belt. I think the Vernors won in terms of M&M dissolving, after factoring in the coffee's increased heat and therefore increased effectiveness.

Now I need a nap.

Went to Roommate's concert. Was v. good and surprisingly crowded. (Am writing in manner of B. Jones's diary because am rather tipsy in manner of B. Jones?...) Was very amusing - not in manner of Carl's concert - where during the songs I wished they'd get to the 'tween-song banter and during the banter I wished they'd get back to the songs. Both songs and banter v. enjoyable at On The Go concert. Had two spiced chai lattes. V. recommendable.

Met up with Jillian and Erin, who arrived late and only caught last song. Decided to go to Goodrich Halloween party. Had no futuristic costumes so dressed all in black so as to match. Were futuristic Charlie's Angels, apparently.

Went to Erin's, played with insane cat while she changed. They have a toilet seat lid-thingy and we don't. Wish we did.

Went to my house, drank most of a bottle of wine between the three of us while playing Buttmonkey. [Another advantage of lack of 19-year-old boyfriend - can law/rules-abidingly drink.] Changed into all-black. Were a bit tipsy - I had equivalent of about two glasses, probably.

Went to Jillian's - she changed, we chatted with Joanna, Colleen came over in her retro-futuristic silver/grey getup, we declared her Charlie.

Went to Goodrich. By the time we got there, things were going quite slowly, like I was watching everything through a strobe light. Danced danced danced danced danced. Was good. Danced in circle with the gals. Jillian and I thought about dancing with Finnish Kilt Boy, who was wearing a box, but he got away.

Saw Zac(h?) from tutorial.

Zac: Glad to see you here.
Me: Um... good to see you here too.
Zac: I live here.
Me: Oh, yeah, I know.

He bit Colleen's neck and freaked her out, but that was later. Danced danced danced. Lots of theatre people there - Jillian and I felt a bit left out. Went walking through house and lost Jillian. Danced danced danced, then decided we were tired and the vino was wearing off. Went searching for Jillian - found her having another drink in Steve Art Boy's room. Hmmm. Collected her and walked her home (she was quite loopy and giggly), then came home myself.

Now am in room with four other people and must prepare for bed. There are cartoons on the television. I hate Scooby Doo.

How sad is it that I spent a big part of my day making a website that I'm never going to put up on the web? Time waster time waster time waster. I could have been searching for everyday idioms, or doing research on René Magritte.

I am so proud of myself - I skipped Spanish today and it turned out to be the day they went out into the cold cold snow and dark to take pictures in the Nature Center - and they didn't even get breakfast out of it! Yes! I was tucked away in warm Seaton studying for my English Language test, which turned out to be infinitely more valuable.

I've decided I'm going to be a graphic designer, or whatever you call a person who designs CD labels and cases, movie posters, etc. Yeah... about that... Some art training might have been useful.

Wish I hadn't spent all that time thinking I was going to be a librarian, because I might have made some effort to look into other opportunities - or maybe an additional major.

Last year at this time I was thinking 'I have so many marketable skills - people are going to be knocking down the door to get ahold of me.' Huh?

Off I go to Roommate's concert. On the go...

I had a dream last night that Alex, John Turturro and I were outlaws. We took over these people's house while they were out and locked/blocked all the doors. Just before I woke up, I was panicking because we hadn't closed the blinds.