me: Here comes another trick-or-treater... it's the Devil!
The Devil's Mom: He's the devil who got arrested!
(I look down and realize that the kid is wearing an orange jumpsuit in addition to his devil mask)
srahmom: How did you get arrested?
The Devil: I got caught.

Hee hee hee. I don't know why I find this so funny. Satan is no match for earthly law enforcement! Take that, Beelzebub! Crime won't pay after all!

Among our visitors: a butterfly; Death; The Devil; a fairy and a pirate-bat; the Incredible Hulk and a Care Bear; something with a turtle shell and a pumpkin face; a hippie, a video game character and a "hippie with a gun... or something... dressed all in black... so I'm a goth hippie with a gun"; Sully from Monsters, Inc. and Superman; another devil, some kind of biker with a big purple pig nose and a sort of female Captain America; a blue-haired butterfly princess; Dorothy, Toto, a flying monkey, the Cowardly Lion, Glinda and the Wicked Witch of the West; Spiderman, the Green Lantern and some kind of black cloaky thing.

Haven't seen Batman so far...

I hope you are all aware of what's happening on Sunday. The fact that it's on a Sunday this year makes me go "arrrrrrrrrrrrrgh" in frustration* because I won't see all of my friends and classmates, but at the same time I like to imagine a lot of church services suddenly becoming a hundred times more interesting.

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* As opposed to "Aaaaaaaaaaaah!" in surprise and alarm.

Yes, it's that time of year again...

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It's Bastille Day today, the French national holiday. They're going to be shooting fireworks off from the abbey grounds, so it appears we'll have to vacate the presences.

That's probably for the best, because the latest blog-picture has convinced me that I'm getting fat from eating cheese and never having to go anywhere and that a walk would do me good.

*sigh*

Hopefully it is just the posture/shirt wrinkles/facial expression!

Matt was really excited about coming over to watch The Princess Bride last night. He had worked out elaborate plans of dressing up marshmallow Peeps as characters from the movie. Unfortunately, it turned out the movie was just a cover for the surprise birthday party we threw him. Poor Matt.

The idea was actually inspired by this post, but I feared that he would think it was the other way around and catch on that something was in the air. But no - he showed up marshmallows in hand, jaw on floor* and out of breath as he tried to blow out what we hadn't realized were trick candles.

It's quite eggs-citing that we managed to keep the secret all that time and that it all came together so well. It egg-ceeded all of our egg-spectations, I think.

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* I don't actually know what his jaw was doing - I was behind the door.

Okay, so I probably will have an internship offer. Should that stop me from applying when a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity comes along?

[via Dharma]

I would like to take this St Patrick's Day moment to remind you of that famous Irish blessing:

May the Lord protect and defend you, May he always shield you from shame May you come to be in Israel a shining name--

Wait...

Yars, folks. It's St Patrick's Day. So naturally, Mr B------ and I went out for Mexican. It seems everyone is indeed Irish on St Patrick's Day, as the folks at Panchero's have dyed all of the tortillas a sickly sort of green.

My mummy used to make us green eggs and ham* for St Patrick's Day. That would be an interesting incident if they looked anything like the book's illustrations. Instead, green-dyed scrambled eggs pretty much just look like a plate of snot. As we grew up, we realized how revolting they looked and refused to eat them, so they got fed to the neighbor kids.

St Patrick's Day is nice and all, but it results in a lot of rather repulsive-looking, disturbingly miscoloured food.

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* The eggs were green, the ham was not. Thankfully.

Santa brought me a leather jacket, which I have been wearing ever since I opened it (it's cold in my house!). When we left to go to church, I put on my leather boots and stole Alfie's leather gloves. I have decided that for Halloween this year, I'm going to be a cow! Mooooo!

I haven't been in this house on Halloween in at least five years and have no experience with handing out Halloween candy or knowledge of the normal trick-or-treating flow. This year, however, my parents went out of town and the job was left to me. I tried to be conservative, judging that since my family had bought ten bags of candy, we were expecting a lot of trick-or-treaters.

"Pick the one you want," I would say, holding out the bowl to the outreached hands who were ready to grab handfuls. To really cute little kids or people with good costumes, I would offer two or three or "as many as you want". These were a select few, including the last group of kids, around 6 or 7 years old, with whom I had a long conversation of something like:

Batman: Trick or treat!
Lion: Trick or treat!
Me: Happy Halloween! You can have as many as you want.
Batman (taking one candy): I'm Batman!
Me: Wow!
Lion (pointing at my half-assed Halloween costume, which consisted of cat ears): You're a cat!
Me: Yup!
Lion: You have cat ears on!
Me: I do! Do you want some candy?
Batman (taking another candy): I'm Batman!
Me: Wow, Batman! That's a great costume!
Batman (taking another candy): I wanted to be the Joker, but I couldn't, because I had to--
Lion: You're a cat!
Me: Oh, Joker is good too! Yes, I am!
Lion (pointing at Howie, the Devil Dog, being held back by my lovely assistant, Mr Dave): And he's a dog!
Me: Yes!
Lion: And I'm a lion!
Me: Yes you are!
Lion: And you're a cat!
Me: I am!
Lion: Cats are afraid of lions!
Me: They are?
Lion (trying to pet me): You're a cat! And he's a dog!
Batman (taking another candy): And I'm Batman!

So... ten bags of candy... FIFTEEN trick-or-treaters.

We have a crapload of leftover candy. We also have, in this household, a diabetic and someone who tries to watch his weight. Which means that the bulk of the candy-eating falls on yours truly. It's a tough burden to bear, but I think I can handle it.

In movies, kids go trick-or-treating door-to-door and you open the door and see them standing there in their costumes with eager looks on their faces, bags outstretched. What about a realistic Michigan Halloween? Eager looks, check. Bags, check. Costumes? Hmmm.

And what are you? A princess in a parka? Well, isn't that cute? And you are a crayon in a coat? Adorable. Awwwww, it's Anakin Skywalker in an anorak. An Orc in an overcoat. Jack Sparrow in a ski jacket.

This is October in Michigan, people. Don't even get me started on the grown-up costumes. Sexy French maid... in sexy snowpants, perhaps.

[Okay, I originally planned to blog on this topic months ago. Now I look at the weather report for Friday and it's supposed to be 61 degrees. Bah!]

Muchas gracias to Richard for the lovely birthday picture!

I was all set to dress as a pirate for Halloween, being piratically original and unique and referring to the theme that pops up from time to time on Katie's or my blog. It suddenly occurs to me that, due to the success of the pirate movie, everyone is going to be a pirate this year. Back to the drawing board. Looks like the holiday will, once again in 2003, be celebrated with a crappy Halloween costume thought up on the morning of the 31st.

I once had a friend who wore a black garbage bag with colored circles taped onto it, going as a bag of M&Ms. What are the most memorable Halloween costumes you've seen?

We woke up this morning and Renata made us French French French French French French Toast. Then we ate cookies and chocolate-covered marshmallows, and watched Télé-Foot. We have come to the decision that we will reform the rules of soccer by requiring all footballers to remove their shirts after every goal. We feel that this would make a great difference to the sport and increase ratings in the ever-valuable Female and Gay Male demographics.

Then we watched a crappy talk show where the subject was Who is the most seductive European? They brought on male guests from Norway, Italy, Portugal, Germany, Ireland, and France to try to seduce the audience. I was rooting for poor Conrad, who had to fight against his crippling Germanicity, and we were all horrified and embarassed by the anglophony of the tadpole-headed Sean, who thought that it would be cool to say "get down and dirty on the dance floor" in a declaration of love. We were all frightened that the nasty chauvinistic Benjamin would win, just because he was French, but thankfully Italy triumphed in the end.

I was going to write an April Fool's Day post about my favorite new singer, Avril Poisson (a poisson d'Avril is an April Fool's Day joke in French), but I really can't be arsed to make anything up. So you'll just have to imagine how funny it would have been.

Ha.

Back to work.

I hate April Fool's Day. I always think of something clever on April 2nd. If I try anything today, it is going to be really lame.

So, what kind of free stuff and discounts can one get on one's birthday? Hurry up and tell me!

I forgot it was my birthday today until my mom wished me a happy birthday this morning. So there. Please forgive me all of the birthdays I've forgotten, because I've also forgotten my own.

I am 22 today and - before you ask - no, it does not feel any different. Which is why I didn't realize it was my birthday.

12 days.

At Halloween of my freshman year, I had nothing to wear. So I ran out to Felpausch at the last minute and got some white bunny ears. I dressed all in white (or light khakis) and was a bunny.

Well, what do you do with bunny ears for the rest of the year? I became known on my hall for wearing my bunny ears everywhere. On the hall, around campus, to the coffee house... Ah, attention.

I became identified as "The Bunny". Rabbits became my favorite animal, just because I identify with them. Hence three stuffed bunnies, sitting on my couch.

I don't feel like playing any April Fool's Jokes today. But let me know how yours went!

I love my boyfriend because he is nice to everyone and not just to me. He bought a whole mess of flowers and made homemade valentines for all of his friends. I love him because he's a thoughtful little bugger.

And other reasons.

I've never had a boyfriend on Valentine's Day. Josh, you don't count. Not that you're reading this, because I haven't heard hide nor hair of you in about two years. You don't count. I haven't really minded it... except for last Valentine's Day when I didn't have boyfriend, friends, or family and was wandering around Nîmes alone. But anyway. I didn't mind not having a boyfriend because I did fun things with all of my friends and sent them all valentines. And for some reason, I don't hang around people with boy-/girlfriends so it's not like I was left out while everyone else was doing something. This year I have a boyfriend. That will be strange...

I am almost completely certain (unless he is being quite sneaky) that I know what I'm getting for Valentine's Day. Would you rather know in advance or have a surprise? This doesn't have to pertain specifically to Valentine's Day, but rather to all occasions.

Happy birthday to Cheryl (as opposed to CKane), who is 22 years old today. I send you love and hugs. CKane, who has never met you, feels a great name-bond and hopes you get love, flowers, and cupcakes on your birthday.