Apparently I can't answer Alfie's musicals quiz all by myself.
Apparently.
My favorite part of yesterday's Michigan Daily:
"... recommended precautions include wearing long-sleeved pants and shirts, and to use insect repellent containing DEET, an insect repellent."
- West Nile virus found on campus
(Interestingly enough, this article from 2001 has similar recommendations as regards the length of your pants sleeves.)
Received in an email today:
I like White Ninja because he reminds me so much of you
Hmmm. I don't see it.
*wraps white t-shirt around head*
This has been making me giggle when I should be working and packing. For shame! For shame!
Suspiciously enough, the gang at the Mallville Public Library had Internet problems at the same time we did. I suspect the cartoonist has been lurking around and picking up actual quotes from our computer lab.
- Unshelved - 29 July, 2004"srah, from this day forward you will also be known as: Colonel Drunkenpaws"
[via A Cheeky Squirrel]
Right. I know I said something about cuddling in the last post, but NO. No no no.
[via greenfairy]
New Weebls cartoon! With world-famous celebrities!
[via Somewhat, Muchly]
I love Lileks. I am cracking up, but trying to hold it in because I'm at work and I should be working instead of reading this. So if you're at work, maybe it would be a good idea not to click on this until you get home.
On NPR on my drive home last night, they were theorizing that the "bold" new cylindrical design of Charles de Gaulle airport's 2E terminal was architecturally sound as long as all of the parts held the right pressure against each other, but that a pylon moving or the deterioration of some building materials may have changed the pressure enough to have caused the collapse. Uh... what the hell? Who is designing buildings these days? People freak out enough about terrorism at the airport - I don't want to be in a building that's going to fall apart all by itself.
Luckily, I'm flying United, which is not an Air France partner and goes into a different terminal. Let's hope other bits of the airport don't start caving in...
Note: For those of you who were concerned, my favorite airline, Gandalf, is safe in 2D.
The greatest comic genius of our time has passed away, leaving behind his wife and two children under ten.
WHY? Why do the good have to die so young?
I only wish that I had blogged more about him when he was alive, so that he might Google himself and know that he was loved...
I held out as long as I could, but it's in my head now and you all must enjoy it as much as I do:
[via swirlspice]
According to this, the stars I most resemble are Sherilyn Fenn and Alyssa Milano. Another picture returned Cher (!!!) and Isabelle Adjani. I tried again and got Maria Callas, Patricia Arquette and Jenny McCarthy.
[via little.yellow.different]
If tbone isn't going to blog about this herself...
It is highly recommended that you go here, watch "Uniform" and then click on the Playbill.
Unless you are one of those mad hippies who doesn't like songs that get into your head and drive you insane. But we don't have any of those around here, do we?
The Internet is full of a number of things... one of which is Subservient Chicken.
I suggest "sleep," "lay an egg," and "fly."
[via Bobby]
-----
* Identify the quote?
"My dad used to say that people are afraid of a deadly thing which they can not see, can not feel and can not smell. Maybe that is because those words are a good description of death itself."
Most interesting thing I've read today: Ghost Town, the photo journal of a Ukrainian motorcyclist driving through the abandoned town of Chernobyl.
"Perhaps future archeologists will compare this Ghost Town to Pompeii. The Soviet era is forever preserved here - in the deadly radiation that will last for many centuries."
[via Seat of the Revolution; English-Ukrainian translation found here]
Dear FutureMe, I hope you do not wear sweat suits like your mom and let your hair look all shitty.
Dear FutureMe, WHAT'S UP!
Dear FutureMe, How is the future? Good I hope. Do I have a girlfriend? Do I have a wife? Write back soon.
FutureMe.org lets you send yourself (or other people) emails to the future. You could send an e-mail today and it would be delivered to you in 2010, sort of like a time capsule.
You can also read those emails which people have chosen to make public. My favorites are the ones who ask questions and ask their future selves to write back in time.
I am amused and have written to check up on myself a year from today to see what I'm up to.
I saw Green Fairy's results from the Match.com Physical Attraction Test and decided I had to take it myself. I've never been able to put my finger on what I find physically attractive and what I don't. Here's some of what it told me:
Favorite Qualities
Your photo choices suggest a man over 35 is probably getting a little old for your tastes You seemed interested in dating a man at least 25 or older Very handsome men Sharp, narrow chins Narrow and pointed "triangular" faces So-called "Ectomorphs," or thin angular faces
Favorite Looks
We call one type of guy that you seemed to consistently like "Pups." Their look goes with a certain loveable, puppy dog appeal. They're nice-looking guys, but they are imperfect enough to be approachable. Their big eyes and goofy smiles convey warmth and kindness. Like puppies, these guys can be a bit awkward and clumsy, so be prepared to have a drink or two spilled on you! Only about 1 in 10 women (11%) are attracted to this unique type, so they'll be flattered that you appreciate their charm.
Another of the "looks" that you consistently noticed has been described as "The Boy Next Door." He has an open face, with big eyes, and a big grin. He has a youthful or boyish quality that will follow him throughout his life. Typically this look is associated with light brown hair, a close shave, and blue or hazel eyes. These guys convey a warm, trusting impression, but watch out for that mischievous side! Our studies find that about 1 in 5 women (18%) are especially attracted to this youthful look.
Favorite Face Type
You especially liked a pattern scientists refer to as "Ectomorphs." Geometrically, they are similar to triangles, because they are widest at the cheekbones and then narrow to a relatively pointed chin. Ectomorph men are said to have "angular" features, including a chiseled nose and prominent cheekbones. Historically, these faces have been viewed as distinguished and were often found on European royalty. These men also tend to have lean builds. [And, you may want to watch out for those ears, since on true Ectomorphs, they tend to stick out a good bit.] About 22% of other women especially prefer this face type.
This guy is supposed to be my My Type. I suppose he's pretty cute, but he looks kind of like he would want to talk about economics and Survivor and Abercrombie & Fitch and basketball and I might have to punch him. It does not show whether I would still be attracted to him when he has a black eye.
Take it yourself if you're interested!
Update: Other people have been posting more of their results. Mine are in the extension!
continued »
I always thought that CNN was a source for serious news coverage and things like that. Here are the two CNN links I've come across most often lately:
It's splitsville for Barbie and Ken - Why is this written completely straight, as though they were real people?
"[The vice president of marketing at Mattel] hinted Wednesday that the separation may be partially due to Ken's reluctance to getting married. All those bridal Barbie dolls in toy chests around the globe are really just examples of Barbie's wishful thinking, she explained."
What planet is Mattel living on? My Barbies and Kens always got married. And Ken married not only Barbie, but also Perfume Pretty Midge and Kelly from Beverly Hills 90210. I think Mattel and CNN are both smoking something.
Polaroid warns buyers not to 'Shake It' - "C'mon, lay it, c'mon, lay it, c'mon lay it on a fla-a-at surface..."
Burn It! - The Winter Edition:
"I was thinking of making this theme all about melancholy music (winter being a time when lots of people get the blues). tj suggested making it a SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) mix which fits both the melancholy music and the season. So, for this theme, music that you listen to when sad or music that makes you blue should be what you’re shooting for. It could be the lyrics or just the way that the song sounds."
Get on over there and sign up if you're interested in participating!
In case you're wondering where the idea for those freaky singing monkey-things in the Quizno's ads come from, it's from We Like The Moon. I'm surprised how many people haven't seen this!
Yet another Flash cartoon from our weebly friends....
Lions and tigers gnawing on giraffes are soooooo cute. And the freaking song is sooooooo addictive.
[via Jezblog]
Blorgy.com is a website where you can nominate and vote for your favorite posts on other people's blogs. I discovered it yesterday because someone had nominated this post as a favorite post of theirs.
Great. The one time I get nominated for something, it's for a post that the dog wrote.
I totally just joined Friendster. Shut up. I am always up on the latest trends like that. I like to think of myself as jumping on the bandwagon just as it's about to hurtle off the cliff and burst into flames.
He's doing research on rice in Australia.
In this alternate reality, Henry VIII was locked up in the Tower for siding with Lady Jane Grey and the reputation of the sister of George III was spoilt through the machinations of the usurper Victoria Hanover.
[via fujikosmurf]
The Sims 2 and I are getting married. I would run out and buy it on March 15, but then I would flunk out of school. So we'll have to wait until the summer for our joyous union.
"Starting with a personality that you give them (or that they inherit from their parents), your Sims will develop in unique ways based on your choices and influence.
"As they progress through life, your Sims will collect memories which shape who they are, what options they have and how they behave. These experiences can have a short or long-term effect on relationships between family members and friends. Experiences between Sims when they are children can affect their relationships as teens and adults. Your Sims can have casual friendships or make life-long enemies.
"Your Sims live in a realistic and vivid 3-D world of your own creation. When you build their homes, you'll have new options that will allow you to create decks, attics, and build on hillsides. You'll be able to choose from hundreds of new objects, many of which can be customized from within the game. And once you've built the perfect home, you'll be able to zoom in close to see every detail of Sim life, from the food in the refrigerator to the expression of moods and feelings on your Sims' faces.
"Rounding out the experience, The Sims 2 delivers dozens of features requested from fans over the past four years. A new "Create-A-Sim" feature will allow you to easily make unique and detailed character faces with a variety of hair styles, facial hair, make-up and accessories. You'll also be able to choose from a wide selection of casual, formal, cool and crazy clothing styles. And carrying on the tradition of giving players the ability to customize their game, The Sims 2 is designed to allow players to easily integrate content created by players outside the game."
- Official Sims 2 website
... but I already had the graphic saved to my server, so I might as well advertise. Meg and Anna are at it again, this time pointing out that it's the thought that counts:
Token is a magnolia bath gift set in a presentation straw basket from the Body Shop (Cost=£11.50).
Cheap is a DIY perfect bathtime kit in a shoebox, containing six nightlights (65p), a pack of sandalwood incense (95p), a bath bomb containing rose petals (£2), an indulgent face pack (80p), her favourite glossy magazine (£1.80), a cucumber eyemask (95p), bottle of semi-decent plonk (£4.35) and a home-made compilation CD, minidisc or tape containing specially selected soothing sounds (Free).Total cost = £11.50. Emotional Effect = Priceless.
Also, when people ask what you want for Christmas, they want an answer.
The only answer, when someone asks "What do you want for Christmas?" is
"You."
In a sultry tone of voice.
Who cares if it's your grandfather asking?
At least he'll not ask again.
My erstwhile fiancée sent me this link this morning, so I buried myself in tales of children raised by wolves and monkeys and sheep.
Why was I not a feral child? Why do I miss out on all of these great opportunities? Why did my parents have to go and love me so much? Didn't they know what they were depriving me of by not dropping me off in the middle of the woods somewhere?
I would like to have been raised by giraffes!
So, I hear they captured Saddam Hussein this weekend.
Whoopedy doo.
The Pickard sisters are blogging answers to all of your burning holiday questions in a one-a-day, advent calendar style at 'Tis the Season. I highly recommend the December 5 entry:
Man: Come, wyf, our crops lafted us through the shortest day of wynter have!
Let us celebrate with mead and dead pygs!
Soon the days, extend thay wyll, and we shall have zummer once mair.
I have brought young John a present fair the occasion.
A box it is.
Woman: Oh husband, John died this morning of a runny nose.
Yet, comforted shall I be, with my 17 more children.
Put John in the box, and let us feast and celebrate the myd-wynter!
Man: Fayre enuff.
Read the rest of the post for more mid-winter celebrations through time.
For everyone who's got a 501 presentation to prepare or a 682 project to finish, I bring you this excellent distraction: more badgers, mushrooms and snakes.
[link stolen from Jez]
If you aren't aware, Amazon.com has a new(ish) feature where it searches the text of books in its collection as well as searching authors' names and titles. It seems like this should be a big advantage, but it ends up driving me crazy.
How often does one actually want to search on the text in a book? Couldn't they make that part of an advanced search? When I am looking to see if any new Christopher Brookmyre books have been published, I don't want to be bogged down in books in which he has been mentioned.
I would like to take this holiday moment to refute any rumours that I may have spent the past two days making Orlando Bloom and Legolas Greenleaf paper dolls online.
Just in case those rumours were, you know, already out there. Ahem. Not true.
[thanks to David]
This is what we got Danny* for her birthday. Perhaps if she's very nice, she'll get the upgrade for Christmas...
* not her real name, nor do I remember why I'm calling her this - but I bet Cheryl does!
For absolutely no reason, I would like to remind you that Pearls Before Swine merchandise can be purchased at Cafepress.
And that I wear a size Small.
Are you a 23 (or so) year old female? Do you remember Jonathan Brandis, star of such great works as Stephen King's It, "SeaQuest DSV" and the 1992 cross-dressing pre-teen comedy Ladybugs, featuring Rodney Dangerfield? Of course you do.
Well, he's dead and lost at the bottom of another article about the death of someone I've never heard of. Why don't they ever publicize the deaths of celebrities I actually remember? And where is Mike Vitar these days?
The latest trend: Silent Dating. Anything that involves passing notes instead of talking is fine by me!
INT. TOM HANKS AND JULIA ROBERTS'S WEDDING
SRAH.NET (SRAH BLAH BLAH) is making a wedding toast.
SRAH.NET (SRAH BLAH BLAH)
It's also quite expensive, for a program that might not be exactly what I'm looking for.
WEDDING GUESTS
Hear, hear.
SRAH.NET (SRAH BLAH BLAH)
I'm only studying Information Science - how can I be expected to care about things like archives?
Everybody laughs
TOM HANKS and JULIA ROBERTS
Hahahahahaha!!!! Oh SRAH.NET (SRAH BLAH BLAH). You are one of a kind.
I certainly am. And you can be, too.
[via aSquared Airbeagle]
This week brings us the second greatest Onion article ever: Mom Finds Out About Blog
(The first, of course, is I Bet I Can Speak Spanish. Allabunto allaquento!)
[thanks to Mr B------]
Sometimes you don't give enough thought to all of the nuclear weapons in the world and how one little thing could bring our world to an end. I would think about it myself, but I am le tired...
[thanks to Roro]
Erica says I'm an Info*Bitch. I concur.
I smell an Antiguan Independence Day present...
Update: On a related note, Astronomy J* informs me that it is also the Year of the Samurai Librarian.
* It is hard to come up with obligatory blog-nicknames for people you have only spoken to once or twice. This kind of makes him sound like a rapper on PBS.
I would like to dedicate this one to my sister.
[via little.yellow.different]
It has come to the attention of the management that we may, in fact, be Peppermint Patty.
[thanks to Katie]
Don't click here. Seriously. I don't want to do anything for the rest of the day.
[via Matt @ SI]
I know that I am pathetic beyond belief to admit this to you, but I've been alive 23 years, 1 month and 4 days and only today have I discovered The Official Ninja Webpage: REAL Ultimate Power!!!!, which unlocks all the secrets of ninjadom, like:
- Ninjas are mammals.
- Ninjas fight ALL the time.
- The purpose of the ninja is to flip out and kill people.
One of the best things about this is that, miraculously, some other webpages have appeared with the same design. It's like a natural phenomenon. Who would have thought that they'd all come up with the same idea like that?
My favorites:
- The Official Librarian Homepage
The Official Pirate Homepage
The Official Box of Wine Homepage
The Official James Madisons Homepage
[via Mr B------, who doesn't have a weblog yet, but oughta]
Green Fairy linked to a text-to-speech program she found and gave some recommended sample sentences from sophisticated, cultured things like poetry and Monty Python. I, of course, went to the site and immediately started making it say rude things. A few favorites:
Charles (UK male): You're seducing me with soft cheeses! (and he sounds like he's going to throw up about it)
Mike (US male): Nice man, I would like you to spank me. (it comes out as a question posed to a superhero)
You can even give English phrases to the French guy and make him reasonably understandable, but with a heavy accent (I recommend "I'm too sexy for my cat, too sexy for my cat - poor pussy, poor pussy cat"). I am having too much fun.
Update: All of the voices seem to really enjoy saying, "I'm too sexy for your party, too sexy for your party - no way I'm disco dancing." and "If you got a problem, yo, I'll solve it. Check out the beat while my DJ revolves it. Ice Ice baby."
You not seen... him... stack... books...
Pirates, ninjas, librarians, mushrooms, pies, Dance Dance Revolution, negotiating jam... this is the best cartoon EVER.
[Thank you, Jez. You have made my life complete.]
I did this a few months ago with "srah", but here's some more information that Googlism has dug up about me:
sarah is cooler than you fool's ujournal
sarah is good for soup
sarah is a godess
sarah is very charming and
sarah is a cute blond prostitute and she likes to be wet with hot [thank you for stopping there]
sarah is working her way [so we hear]
sarah is slated to host saturday night live for the third time on october 12 [I'd better start rehearsing]
sarah is fiercely independent and adamant about staying that way
sarah is anywhere where a pile of leaves calls to you to dive in it
sarah is one of four young peregrines bred in captivity and released on the kitchener city hall in 2001 [CAW! CAW!]
sarah is making herself ill by pretending to love her husband [this would probably be easier if I had a husband to pretend to love, but inventing the husband as well as the love... well, it just makes me sick]
sarah is a great competitor with exceptional quickness and the ability to make things happen in a positive way on the court [the... trivial pursuit court?]
sarah is a third grader
sarah is pregnant [kids these days!]
sarah is a beast
sarah is sexy
sarah is the real thing
sarah is awesome
sarah is motivated by compassion to do good deeds [boo-yeah to the fifth power]
sarah is so cute when she's drunk [you betcha]
sarah is a composite character inspired by the experiences and testimonies of many individuals who knew anne frank at certain points in her life [you got me]
sarah is a sneaky goldfish
sarah is following me
sarah is around [are these all the same Sarah? I'm scared]
sarah is getting her stuff back soon
sarah is shortish; sarah has eyes whose color no one can name [both true, but what do you mean by "-ish"?]
sarah is evil [mwah ha ha]
[via Ain't It Cruel?]
I've seen things. I've seen them with my eyes. I've seen things. They're often in disguise.
Thank you, Jez. I'm losing my mind.
I can't even temper it with a little hi-ho because that site seems to be unavailable or gone altogether.
Anyone else got another nice dose of insanity for me?
Update: It's really bothering me that the wedding isn't a wedding in disguise. It's a funeral disguised as a wedding. One of these things is not like the others.
Juan Moreno has kindly asked me to link to Justin's Quotes Quiz(zes). Since Juan is so generous and loving and emotionally open, I am only too glad to acquiesce. Go guess.
I bought this mascara because I saw it on a commercial and I hate curling my eyelashes when I put on mascara. Never mind the fact that I never wear mascara. I had to have it. It visibly lengthens lashes up to 30%! It sets lashes to a daring 30 degree curve!
Well, now I have it. It works very nicely. It doesn't look too clumpy or gross and it curls my eyelashes all by itself, just like it said. Srah's problem, however, is the 30% lengthening. I have already had problems in the past with my eyelashes hitting my glasses lenses. Now I feel like I have to warn people before I walk into a room that their lives are in peril.
BEWARE! I shout, YOU WILL BE SWEPT AWAY BY MY MONSTER LASHES!
Why don't they have that in the commercials? I'm not sure if it would deter people or encourage them.
I will be moving to Belgium in the morning, because their jokes are better than ours.
[via Belgium Doesn't Exist! which was via My Boyfriend is a Twat]
If this had existed while I was growing up, I can assure you that I would have had one. Unfortunately, they won't be out until fall 2003. In the meantime, you'll just have to have Sigmund Freud analyse Rosie the Riveter.
[via Dave Barry's Blog]
According to findyourspot.com, my top ten ideal hometowns are:
- Charleston, WV
- Frederick, MD
- Annapolis, MD
- St George, UT
- Hickory, NC
- Champaign-Urbana, IL
- Gaithersburg, MD
- Baltimore, MD
- Hampton, VA
- Raleigh, NC
I don't know how I feel about these results. It's hard to find somewhere in the Midwest that doesn't get snow dumped on it every November or so.
[via coleman.francis.land]
This morning's cheese rant has been published as the first of the Assistant Stories at the brand spanking new Assistants in France website (courtesy of the talented Lee).
Do you have any suggestions for future Assistant Stories? It could be a story I've already posted, something you'd like to know about my time as an assistant, or a short post that needs to be fleshed out into a full story. Let me know if you do. Or if you don't. Inspire me. Or don't.
This year's Bulwer-Lytton Contest (for the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels) results are online, including:
"When the time came for Timothy to fly the nest, he felt the best years of his life were ahead of him, if only because he had spent the childhood ones living in a nest."
- Sian Arthur - London, England
Cheryl, adding the description above, sent me a Mandy Moore interview that, among other things, talks about her next movie (Mandy's, not Cheryl's):
In "Saved," due out this fall, she seems to mock her own righteous image in a story about a teenager attending a Christian school who tries to "save" her gay friend by having sex with him -- and winds up pregnant. "It could be quite controversial," Moore says slyly of the film in which she co-stars with Macaulay Culkin. Moore plays the friend of the pregnant girl (played by Jena Malone).
I wouldn't dream of making a judgment about this movie, except to say SERIOUSLY, SERIOUSLY. I just hope that the pregnant girl's name is Belle.
'West Bloomfield and Troy: Where it's not happening'
The Detroit Free Press is running a series of articles "exploring Gov. Jennifer Granholm's idea that Michigan needs to create 'cool cities' to keep young people from moving away." This series has been running for a few weeks or so, and they are up to Troy and West Bloomfield, of which they say:
It would be something of a stretch to call Troy and West Bloomfield "cool."
OK, some would consider it an outright lie.
I don't even live there and it makes me want to move away. Have they run out of cool cities already, so that they have to cover this? Maybe there are good things about Troy and West Bloomfield. Let's keep reading.
Troy and West Bloomfield are representative of many affluent communities in Michigan that simply don't need coolness to prosper. Housing values soar and strip malls multiply like gerbils despite the fact that both communities essentially pull their shades by 11 p.m.
What's that I hear? Is it the sound of young Troy-and-West-Bloomfieldites picking up stakes?
Between 1990 and 2000, the number of 20- to 34-year-olds in Troy declined by 12 percent. In West Bloomfield, a community of 65,000 residents and 26 lakes, the drop was 20 percent.
Despite this trend, there has been little movement in either community to create the kind of defined, downtown entertainment hub that has brought young professionals -- and their wallets -- to Birmingham. One obvious reason for that is Troy and West Bloomfield have no downtowns. These communities are products of the auto age. They're geared for driving and parking, not walking. And they are filled with handsome brick homes and well-manicured yards, with subdivisions sporting vaguely English-sounding titles like Chatfield Commons. The artist lofts, smoky clubs and odd little shops seen in cities that evolved before the car are nowhere present. In their stead, Troy and West Bloomfield have chain restaurants, Linens 'n Things and Home Depot. [...]
In West Bloomfield, township officials are discussing the creation of a pedestrian-friendly neighborhood filled with shops and restaurants. [...]
Troy is likewise proud of its newly constructed community center, skateboard park and aquatic center, which have drawn teens and young professionals from the malls, at least for a while. [...]
The community center features an indoor pool and mini-water park and a huge health club. It also has a teen room, with a home-theater system, foosball, pool and air-hockey tables and video equipment. Though any teenager with aspirations of coolness will surely wince at the "This Place Rocks!" banners the city has plastered to the walls. [...]
I would like to point out that the previous sentence isn't really a sentence.
Troy officials say they hope to supplement these facilities one day with a conference center, hotel, amphitheater, butterfly garden and in-line skating paths.
For now, though, both communities seem content to stand outside the velvet rope of hipness and and have little desire to emulate Birmingham and Royal Oak.
So in the end, we come to the conclusion that Troy and West Bloomfield are cool because they have no young people and are packed with chain restaurants. Apparently this is what Michigan has to offer.
Becky has another Musicals Quiz. Go and participate and help me out, and just be happy that she updated for once.
I just realized that it's Friday, 16 hours and 32 minutes into the day. Hooray! My weekend will be spent, I'm sure, burning mixed CDs for various causes and sharing the contents with you here, whether you like it or not.
Anagrams of my name (first and last... with the middle name in there, it was even longer):
A MARCH STINT
A SCANT MIRTH (very scant)
TRANSACT HIM
TRASHMAN TIC
MANTRAS ITCH
CHARM AN TITS (certainly not!)
RANCH MA TITS (please, ranch ya own)
TANTRIC HAMS
INTACT MARSH
MARC HASNT IT
CRAMS THAT IN
CAN HARM TITS (but only if I have to)
CAN TRASH TIM
CANT MATH SIR
CANT ARM THIS (a famous song by M.C. Hammer)
CANT HIT MARS
CATS HARM TIN
THIN CAT ARMS
MATH RATS INC
HASNT ARM TIC
AM TARTS CHIN
AM ANT CHRIST (note: my middle initial is not I)
[via krisalis]
I don't know how skilled I will be at picking out "make-out music", but I'm joining The Neurotic Fishbowl's Burn It! CD Swap. If you, too, would like the chance to receive a CD that could possibly include some Neil Diamond, go sign up!
I thought this wasn't working, but no such luck. You will be attacked, once again, with the beauty of random poetry.
srah blah
blahs:
Search this Japanese
cat of weather
makes you find ourselves doing pilgrimages
from many movies about how good Sure
that which
were wondering, as the dickens, but
I am blah blahs: 8 ] [months
of opticians, so that
I suck at CSS. While at it, will
never had any expensive repair, he was great, interest,
young Frenchman who would pull
out the other senses, I want them out I speak Spanish
as a
Suspicious Outsider, I know coming today, to
wear a piece of
Harry Potter , though, so stupid that only the better! [chance
with... great but dragons
also made you can tell me the Sorting
staff found that PRETTY? stripes and like everyone
wants a friend
of my nerves, but I was,
bought at
it, discreetly and the clippers, I just waste
away 7 grenoble 1 franç
ais, 7
Yes, status= ; } function and
I did some new
place to holy cities
like E.
L. Fudge.
In case you were wondering, as I was, what the heck the foreign murderess is saying in Chicago, IMDb has the answer:
Mit keresek én itt? Azt mondják, a híres lakóm lefogta a férjem, én meg lecsaptam a fejét. De nem igaz. Én ártatlan vagyok. Nem tudom, miért mondja Uncle Sam, hogy én tettem. Próbáltam a rendõrségen megmagyarázni, de nem értették meg.which means:
What am I doing here? They say my famous tenant held down my husband and I chopped his head off. But it's not true. I am innocent. I don't know why Uncle Sam says I did it. I tried to explain at the police station but they didn't understand.Ah, any excuse to put Hungarian in my weblog, eh?
Renata's brother finds the greatest crap online and sends it to her and the dear is nice enough to forward it on to me so that I can bring it to you. And you will certainly want to thank him when you, too, visit this badly-translated Japanese cat clothing site.
Ernie has this idea that it's only Asians who tell their children that they were found in a garbage can.
Ha! I have been told that I was bought at the stupidmarket, that I was a blue-light special, that I was on sale because I was defective merchandise, and that I was bought from the gypsies for a chicken.
Where did you come from?
NPR just reported that six monkeys given access to a computer for one month did not produce the works of Shakespeare. What did they expect? It is supposed to be infinite monkeys, infinite computers, and an infinite period of time. You're not going to get anything out of six monkeys in a month, and there aren't even enough computers to go around. This was a stupid, pointless experiment and more importantly, a huge waste of monkeys' valuable time.
I also heard a radio ad earlier in the week for an anti-depressive drug with anorexia as a possible side effect. Do you really want to cure one mental illness with another?
The Empire of Srahnce is a tiny, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its burgeoning llama population. Its compassionate, intelligent population of 5 million have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.
The large government juggles the competing demands of Healthcare, Social Welfare, and Education. The average income tax rate is 24%, but much higher for the wealthy. A small private sector is dominated by the Basket Weaving industry.
Crime is moderate, and the police force struggles against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Srahnce's national animal is the llama, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its currency is the donut.
[via the k-tron]
Damn, I have competition.
[via Katie]
I have no friggin' clue how the stock market works. I have no friggin' clue how time travel works. Money and time make my brain hurt, because they're both the kind of thing that can be measured... but that doesn't really exist.
You may have an crinkled ugly greenygrey Abraham Lincoln or a crinkled beeyootiful colorful 5€ bill in your pocket, but it doesn't really mean anything. You can give it to the man and he will give you a baguette (and hopefully a lot of change), but it isn't really worth anything. Apparently it represents something nice and maybe your government would give you some nice doubloons if you asked for them, but it's really just a piece of paper.
Once we get into big bucks and trading, we get even more imaginary. You can own parts of companies, but you can also own parts of companies and not know what companies you own. If you have a company, you can sell parts of it to other people, but you can keep some of them and if you have enough parts, you get a fancy title and an office but you don't have to do any work anymore. I think.
I just thought I would explain that to you, in case you didn't know anything about how the stock market works. I hope you feel educated by my explanation and that it will make you want to buy shares of my sad, worthless blog. Or maybe I just want you to link your valuable blog to mine. I don't know. I don't understand how this works.
Explanation of time travel to follow in a later post. Or possibly never.
[via chez la k-tron]
Slap me with brie, if you please.
If you have nothing better to do than be amused today, why not drag Dubya's head around or check out Engrish subtitles for The Two Towers?
[via Renata the Mighty English Assistant and Suckful, respectively]
Perhaps if I write it again, I will go higher up on the results for the most addictive website. Thank ye.
Just in case you wondered who I am, Googlism can tell you:
srah is my older sister
srah is just stupid
srah is an hourly worker
srah is nice and buteeful
srah is really cleva so we call ger a geek to
srah is going on another depressing job search at yahoo
srah is 6 years older
srah is withheld under the official secrets act
srah is to present those factors in a straightforward manner
srah is the same sarah barrington listed as a child of marion madison
srah is buried at east point
srah is unpacking
srah is laughable
srah is here to stay
and I learned some new things about my boyfriend...
pato is doomed
pato is a very private possession
pato is a tenderhearted aging bachelor who nonetheless has the spark of ambition in him
pato is sweet and loveable and you can sympathize with him for being caught in the war between maureen and her mother
pato is a qualified chemist and self taught winemaker
pato is national director of the association in spain
pato is armed with the riot or combat shotgun
pato is good enough
pato is a 2 year old wood duck
pato is sustained without leave to amend
pato is available everywhere but it is easy to find in california
pato is my favorite native american actor
pato is the new "roving journalist" for the department of communication and marketing
pato is a founding member and was musical director of the london school of samba for five years and is also musical director for combined european brazilian
pato is irreplaceable for his legendary sense of humor
pato is the name everyone mentions when the bairrada region is discussed
pato is the most genuine sport of the country and argentinian players are considered to be among the best of the world
pato is used to beat this substance
pato is being shut down
pato is the cool
pato is proposing to serve liquor on a deck directly in front of the existing building
pato is too young to update his own page
pato is the team clown
pato is also a good friend
pato is waiting for you
pato is one who has attained the cessation of all kamma
pato is coming over
pato is the star
pato is okay
[via ann arbor sucks]
Hee hee... an internet Dave Barry Column creator.
Recently in Vichy (motto: "Casse-toi!"), residents reported an outbreak of video game nerds. Perhaps you think there are no video game nerds in Vichy. Perhaps you are an idiot. As the French say, au contraire (literally: "I can smell you from France.!"). I have here in my hands a copy of an Associated Press article sent in by alert reader Cheryl, whose name can be rearranged to spell "CLHYER", although that is not my main point. "Cheryl", by the way, only has the letters "Ceyl" in in common with "Monica Lewinsky", so there is no other reason to mention Monica Lewinsky in this column.
According to a quote which I am not making up, from Vichy Mayor Valéry Giscard-d'Estaing (formally "Mayor Valéry Giscard-d'Estaing" and informally "Grover"), video game nerds ranks as a major crisis just behind index finger, middle finger and thumb (insert your "pinky" joke here), as evidenced by the following conversation between Vichy government employees:
FIRST VICHY EMPLOYEE: "I'm totally out of here, dude."
SECOND VICHY EMPLOYEE: "You are quite a poopy individual."
FIRST VICHY EMPLOYEE: "I shall kill you with many sharp knives."
Fortunately I have a suggestion for Mayor Grover, and that is: kick George Steinbrenner's head.
No, seriously, my suggestion does not involve George Steinbrenner's head, although it might involve enslaving Tobacco Institute scientists. My suggestion is more along the lines of a coup de grace, from the French coup, meaning "move", and de grace, meaning "to Vichy and drink stagnant water all day". The procedure (you may want to write this down):
1. flush it down the toilet
2. plunging
But instead the Vichy city council (motto: "We'll benefit and protect people when you pry the hot dog out of our cold, dead fingers") thinks that they (the video game nerds) will play mooing games, scream at each other, and hit on any girls entering the place soon, sending this message to the public, and to the world: "I SUCK.".
Speaking of which, "The Vichy Video game nerds Outbreak" would be a great name for a rock band.
[via NOIBLATA]
While I would normally never read Doonesbury, my dad sent me this cartoon about blogging...
Hey! My blog is intelligent!
"Although alcohol consumption has dropped by 20% since the war, the French drink more than any national group in the world, except the people of Luxembourg."
So says my guidebook. For the sake of the 441,300 people of Luxembourg, I hope that means per capita...
It's Banned Books Week. Or maybe it was last week. Or maybe it's next week. Anyway, go find something scandalous to read.
I've found another Srah! And she lives in my house! This is an entirely bizarre situation. We are going to the movies tonight.
Two of my fellow assistants have also been added to my list of blogs: Hello! and Chez Kamblue.
Read the very polite email Adam got from his (former) webhosting company: Tales from customer service.
Here is an interesting blog-post about the word niggardly. One teacher was even fired for using the word in class. The word always makes me a bit uncomfortable, but I realize that my discomfort is ridiculous.
1) you might accidentally worship one
2) there may or may not have been some there when John the Baptist was beheaded
3) the Bible didn't say anyone important had a cat, so that means they didn't
4) science says it's bad too
5) it's just so tough emptying the litter box all the time
So, in conclusion, cats are evil and should be stoned to death, but don't come crying to me when the police arrest you for stoning a cat.
And while you're at it, don't eat lecithin.
It reminds me of the father in My Big Fat Greek Wedding, trying to tell people the Greek origins of words like "kimono" and "Miller". He wanted to prove something and he ended up with an answer, even if the stuff along the way didn't make any sense.
[via suebailey.net]
Would you like to see The Fellowship of the Ring in a strangely abridged hand-puppet-form? Of course you would.
[via reenhead]
Apparently Albion's theatre nerds have been swapping sexually suggestive Star Wars lines recently. I didn't realize there was a master list on the Internet...
[via Blogatelle]
"At any given moment in Ann Arbor, it's impossible to walk down any street where there is undergraduate housing without hearing 'Get Up Stand Up' coming from five different porches."
The Onion is always good for a giggle.
I have a Weather Pixie now. Did you see her? She shows the temperature and weather conditions and changes her clothes depending on the weather. Sometimes a little dog or cat appears in the window with her. It's a fun little gadget... and when I'm teaching in Cusset, I'll set it to show the Vichy weather so you know what I'm up against.
Have you noticed that sometimes when you mouse-over my links (IE only), there's a caption that pops out? Well, there is. I learned how to do that from Meg's site.
One of my Where's George bills has turned up in Maine!
Did you know that you can get 10,000 United Mileage Plus miles for gradutating?
We wants 'em.
Have you ever played around with Hollywood and real-life connections between celebrities and characters? After writing about Anne of Green Gables this morning, I got to thinking about how, through several connections, you could sort of make her the sister of the ventriloquist's dummy, Charlie McCarthy.
Did you hear about the people who tried to go to Sydney... and ended up in Nova Scotia?
And, hey, someone has a birthday coming up.
I think I have carpal tunnel syndrome. Or leprosy. Or termites. Am I, an hourly worker, entitled to Worker's Comp? What is Worker's Comp, anyway? Is it something I would want to have? My arm hurts!
And while we're on the subject, "I doubt that there are few people in the United States who have never heard of carpal tunnel syndrome.". I love a good professionally-designed website, me.
"The data from the radar will drop off and you won't know the radar data is missing for four to 12 minutes"
I get to be a guinea pig for one of the first flights using Detroit Metropolitan Airport's new air traffic control system. Detroit Metro, North America's 10th largest airport, will be using a new system that has only been tested in Syracuse, NY and El Paso, TX. At those two airports, they had problems with planes disappearing off the radar.
Oh boy.
Is it Alf, in Pog form? No, it's srah... in South Park form!
(Pardon the .bmp format... I can't seem to do anything else at this computer. Odd.)
[via plasticbag.org]
Here's a Babelfish translation of a story originally from Yahoo! Rhône-Alpes:
LYON (AP) - an inhabitant of Claveisolles (the Rhone) was condemned Tuesday by the Court of Bankruptcy of the Villefranche-on-Saone (the Rhone), in six months of prison with deferment to have raped a bitch, one learned Wednesday from legal source.
The man, 53 years old, explained to the bar that, for 30 years, it has preferred the bitches with the women because the first are, according to him, more accommodating.
Already condemned in the past to four months of prison with deferment for its relationship with a bitch of noble race, bearing mane, it waited until on 1 last April to impose to the partner of hunting of her neighbor of the foreign attacks to the cinegetic practices.
" People of your commune have enough of it! They must take precautions for their animals " thundered the public prosecutor which missed words to fustigate similar form of insecurity.
Prevented which, of its own consent, usually does not read and can count only " when it is not too complicated ", obviously did not include/understand what one reproached him and especially not why the protective company of the animals and the foundation Brigitte Bardot him wanted some at the point to go civil part.
The deceived bitch will receive a euro damages. Thus in the court decided after having matched its judgment of an obligation of care.
That's right. Srah blah blah: your source for badly translated French dog-raping stories.
Not me, anyway. But if you're interested, for some reason, in learning Albion College lingo, look no further. I can't believe they ruined the secret of Woden. I will hate them forever. Forget my alumni money!
'LBN? Loft? Who makes up this crap?
Hey Ann Arbor people: If you're interested, 1997 Ann Arbor Huron High School graduate Jordan Lopez is playing at Kerrytown this Thursday and Friday night. His mommy told us that we should go, so I'm telling you.
Many people have blogged about this, but I never really paid attention. Then when I read it again at BitStream it stuck somehow. The idea of Book Crossing is that you take a book you love, register it in their database, and leave it somewhere for someone else to read and enjoy. Then that person can visit the website and register their thoughts on it. It's sort of a strange book review chain - and some people will get to read free books.
Sounds a bit like the Where's George database for one dollar bills.
But if I was, I would be worth $1,472,320.00.
[via Katie who has us all beat]
If you use any of Yahoo!'s services, you may be getting extra spam. As if they didn't let enough get through already. They have reset something so that you are automatically signed up for a bunch of mailings and spam unless you change your preferences. So have a visit and see why Yahoo! users are unhappy.
[via give love:get love]
Are you frustrated with the world and need a pick-me-up? Well, there's really just no cure like a healthy dose of shemales.
I got 12 out of 16. I am the shemale queen! Wait... no... I didn't say that...
[via Xkot]
I'm sad the Queen Mum is gone. I'm sure you've all read and seen documentaries by now about what a cool lady she was and how she supported her husband, who didn't expect to be king, and how she supported her country during WWII. She was lovely and dignified and many people's favorite royal, a sort of grandma to a nation.
It's rather sad, so I won't talk about that anymore. She lived to a ripe old age. Please give her a thought or if you don't know about these stories, please read up on them and find out what a cool person she was. That's a good way to remember people.
If a loved one made me this patriotic Peeps hat, or suggested that I make one, then on top of all that MADE ME WEAR IT, I think that I would be extremely disturbed.
The instructions are here in case you want to make one for an enemy.
[via mybluehouse]
Open letter to Dr Laura
My favorite line: "Why can't I own Canadians?"
[via little.red.boat]
Rien d'Importance is back online, but due to some harassment Katie was getting, the journal is members-only. So if you want to read, you'll have to register.
Be sure to check out her Wednesday Whimsy tomorrow!
Anyway, Katie, it's nice to see you again! Here's some Ewan to welcome you back.
(Insert your own light-saber joke here.)
Random Blog Quotes has moved.
The Stupid Translator is fun.
srah - student of university per day, student of university per night. Appreciate words and languages. With pleasure moreover to read comments with its blog * council of council *. is known to chatter with itself in French and bemoan his entry imminent at the work-market.
[via not.so.soft]
The Pre-Date Confidence Builder is funny, as is Disturbing Search Requests.
I am a shameless link-thief and never come up with anything original. These two are...
[via KatieSherman.com]
This is the distribution of my last name in the United States, as of 1990. Dark blue is a low number, red is high. If it were my first name, the whole map would probably be red.
There must be a very small population in Colorado. (Would you be ashamed of me if I told you I had to look at an atlas to find out what state that was? The square ones all look the same to me.)
The history of Boyfriend's name in the US is very interesting.
[via LEnlowLand]
Notice the lovely Michigan Blogs button. Ooh ahh.
I want to recruit more members. So run on over and join, all you Michiganders, Michigeese, and Michigoslings. <-- stupid Michigan humor, or possibly just stupid srah humor (more likely)
Do you remember playing MASH in elementary school? Well, it's online now (when I took that Legolas test, I was thinking that someone should create this, and sure enough - they did).
Your husband's name is Patito and you have 3456 children. You're a grape smoosher who drives to work every day in a green Flintstones car.
It's truly a wonderful life when you consider the countless romantic nights you have spent with Patito in your house on a desert island.
[via The Storm Brewing]
Boyfriend will like this: LOTR in 2 hrs
[via /usr/bin/girl]
*giggle*
Your average Star Wars watcher might only know Bib Fortuna as "Jabba's butler with snakes coming out of his head", whereas fans can recognize people like him and Boba Fett (even before Han Solo calls him by name in Return of the Jedi), know that Greedo is a Rodian, and know what a Twiilek is (oh god, I have just outed myself as an enormous dork, but I swear - my dad and sister are worse). But who the heck knows the names of characters who were only in the film for five seconds? Apparently this guy: The Big Ass Tribute To The Forgotten Heroes of Star Wars.
[also via not.so.soft - Meg's on a roll today!]
Rob's Amazing Poem Generator is amusing.
[via not.so.soft]
RIP Dave Thomas
My friend Cheryl got an autographed photo from Dave Thomas when she wrote to him. He seemed like a good guy. Read the obit and find out more about his work supporting adoption and high school graduation.
Oh yeah, Alfie has a blog now. I'm trying to work on a few glitches, but considering my monster web-skills... um...
Mr Enlow is talking about Don Quixote. Or Don Quijote. Or Don Quichotte. Run run run over there and join in.
Blogger, despite recent problems, has been named one of the Seven Wonders of the Web and Best Web Story of the Year
Bravo.
Mick McCabe has a solution to the high school sports inequity problem: disadvantage everybody. Hee hee hee.
I am excited because I am a cheap excuse for a temp this vacation.
This is what I'm going to turn into...
The Editing Room makes me giggle. (via Bob via Krista via Hat)
Meg from not.so.soft went to one of the United World Colleges,
which I had never heard of, but it sounds like an amazing idea.
I am giddy after having found this lovely site: Plaid-Libs. This is what I wrote:
Recipe For Success
by Shirley
Cook's note: I made this for the church revolutionary supper last night and it was a hit with every potato pancake there!
Kimmy Gibbler from Full House's Famous Baked crown made out of daisies
Ingredients:
1 lb. chopped vacuum-cleaner
1 cup helicopter beanie sauce
grope these two ingredients thoroughly with a ankle. It may be a little beat-up, but that's honking.
Filling:
4 tb. ground grape fruit roll-up powder
A pinch of slug salt
Season generously with mitten
1-2 cups of chopped wet blanket for topping, if desired.
Method:
In covered casserole, layer half of the first mixture. Spoon in the filling and cover with remaining first mixture. Bake covered for 69 minutes at 1492F. Remove from oven and allow to cool on a thingy. Slice and serve with lethal weapon sauce. Also good with wee-wee soup.
*This may also be served as part of a romantic meal. Set a table for eighteen, complete with your best potato gun, a fresh vase of duckling for the centerpiece, a chilled bottle of Johnson & Johnson wine purchased from your local Baldwin lady, and as a final touch, theoretically tofurkey candles and hot, steamy music on your stereo with the volume set to 5. For dessert, spicy chicken wraps always seems to hit the spot.
*It's said that Kimmy Gibbler from Full House often serves this to her moist friends at her home in The Quad. How stinky!
Another good Mad Libs site is eLibs.
A recently-discovered blog I like: little.red.boat. Anna quotes this poem:
The reason I like Edna St Vincent Millay
Is that her name
sounds like a basketball
falling down stairs.
The reason I like Walt Whitman
Is that his name
sounds like Edna St Vincent Millay
falling down stairs.
*tee hee!*
Anna's comments on The Art of Kissing make me laugh so hard I want to cry. Then laugh some more.
Speaking of American geography knowledge...
My boyfriend is from a land of no civilization, where they eat each other. *beams with pride*
André the Giant was born in Grenoble. I didn't even realize he was French. He didn't sound very French, did he? Also, Greer Garson went to the Université de Grenoble. IMDb is such a useful tool. If you have never been there, I COMMAND YOU TO GO.
Planning an airplane flight in the near future? Better practice not being strange. Now, here's a funny pile o' cartoons. And for more articles and things along these lines, go to god bless humanity.
FoxTrot has been very frighteningly true-to-life this week. I suspect that Bill Amend follows me and Alex around with a tape recorder, because Jason and Eileen ARE Alex and Srah. Veddy veddy suspicious.
This is me and Alex...
Personality Corner: Modified Keirsey Temperament Sorter
I am an ISTJ [Introversion, Sensing, Thinking, Judging]. What are you?
testing testing 123... I am blogging from AIM!
Finally finished my paper at 3am. Yuck! I don't think it was very good, but I hope it made some sort of sense and perhaps vaguely resembled what Dr Wyss wanted from it.
Crashed on the couch while it was printing and had a dream where Roommate and Rob were going to the Cake concert together, except it was Rob who was my roommate. There was a lot of other extremely strange stuff going on, but I lost it all in the process of waking up.
I feel so free now that those papers are done. Mwah ha. That would explain why I've spent the past several hours reading random blogs and finding these fun sites to recommend:
Japanese Engrish
Bunny Survival Tests
Someday, if BlogBack ever decides to stop being broken, you will be able to click on [you blah blah] to respond to my blog entries and share your own thoughts or opinions or to say "This blog is a complete waste of time, you loser."
Evil Evildoers of Evil
God Bless Humanity
words mean things: Bill O'Reilly
The CIA is never going to hire me now. I'm going to have to go teach English in France. I don't know if I could handle working for the CIA anyway, what with all the naughty things they do.
Patti LuPone was in WITNESS with... Harrison Ford who was in INDIANA JONES directed by... Steven Spielberg who directed SAVING PRIVATE RYAN with... Tom Hanks who was in PHILADELPHIA with... Denzel Washington who was in THE HURRICANE with... John Hannah who... I met this summer. I think that's seven degrees of separation.
If you want to cheat about it, you can go to The Oracle of Bacon. The Oracle says I'm three degrees from Patti, but I never would have thought of David Paymer.
Mystery solved - the cracked-out villain is Becky herself. BlueMountain has their design-your-own card thing and Becky's on drugs.
We went to Olive Garden for dinner and spent almost the whole time playing "Connect Yourself to Celebrities" and various other variations on "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon". I will share some later.
"You know what sounds horrible? When someone farts into a microphone."
- Alex Rivera
I have spent the last hour going to Blogger.com and reading the most recently updated blogs. Ooowie, fun fun. Here is my favorite. I really ought to be showering, as I am dirty dirty dirty. Jackie Day will interpret this differently than I mean it.
Roommate and I (after an exhaustive search of the Michigan Sex Offender's list by zip code - looking for familiar names - and a trip to the FBI's Most Wanted page), decided we need to find nice cushy government jobs. Or not-so-cushy ones.
So she's going to get a non-gun job for the FBI and I'm going to work for the CIA. It's frightening how appropriate the CIA's language positions sound for me. They're looking for language people. But I have two questions the Employment FAQ doesn't answer... Will I be able to tell anyone what I do, and will I ever be able to get out of it? I mean, if I'm just like a translator or something and not a supersecret Alias-esque operative, do I still have to be all covert and undercover?
Suppose I should send out my resume...?
Where does Roommate find these random websites? How does her brain work? Should I be any more worried about the sex offenders list than about Create a Fart?
I'm having fun playing with my friend Molly's random movie quote generator.
ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? <-- this is in no way related to Molly's random movie quote generator, but as always it is in my head.
