srah blah blah

• North Carolina: My friend went there (or was it Duke? I always get them mixed up, although I'm sure no one from either would appreciate hearing that)
• Indiana: My new colleague just came from there. Also, yay Midwest.
• George Mason: My mother would be upset if I picked Notre Dame to win anything.
• Winthrop: NO THANK YOU, AMARYLLITH. (This was my strategy last year, too)
• Oklahoma!: As far as I know, there are no musicals about Saint Joseph's.
• Louisville: I've been to both and don't have an opinion on Louisville or Boise. Since they're higher-ranked, we'll go with the home of Logan Bruno over the home of the Ice Cream Potato.
• Butler: They have very helpful study abroad catalogues.
• Tennessee: I think picking this one would make family members happy. Plus, I've never heard of American even having sports teams.

Midwest

• Kansas: I think I know someone who went there. (Seriously, I think I should learn more about my friends.)
• Kent State: My friend worked there and another friend works there now and we send people on their study abroad programs. Plus, I think they're in the same divisiony thing as The University I Work At, so bully for them.
• Villanova: School for Villains.
• Vanderbilt: I've never heard of Siena.
• Kansas State: Maybe this is where my friend from Kansas went.
• Wisconsin: I think I actually genuinely like the University of Wisconsin. It's a lot like Michigan.
• Gonzaga: Duh. It's Gonzaga.
• Georgetown: I don't know what UMBC stands for, but I'm going to assume it's Unitard Marching Band College. They don't sound very tough. Also, apparently they're the Retrievers. Whatever a Hoya is, it's probably better.

South

• Memphis: There's far too much Texas in these brackets. Also - I'm going to tell you a little secret here, so lean in - my usual strategy of picking #16 teams over #1 teams hardly ever pays off.
• Oregon: Oregon's a way more interesting state than Mississippi.
• Michigan State: Go Michigan! Also they beat Ohio State, so I need to give them another win in thanks.
• Pittsburgh: This was a hard decision because on one hand, hee hee hee, you said "Oral." On the other hand, I don't much agree with their politics (not that I know anything about the politics of any of the other schools in this).
• Kentucky: I have a friend who talks about Jacques Marquette a lot. I don't need to hear anything else about Marquette.
• Cornell: Ever heard of it?
• Miami of Florida: Meh to both of them. This one's higher-ranked.
• Austin Peay: Ha ha, that's a funny name.

West (Does anyone else think it's weird that we've divided this into East, South, West and Midwest? Sucks to be you, North!)

• UCLA: Once again, apparently #1s usually beat #16s. Who knew?
• Texas A&M: I know somebody who goes there.
• Drake: People keep going on their study abroad programs. Whatevs.
• Connecticut: I am told that they are pretty good at basketball.
• Purdue: Purdue and Baylor are both mildly amusing names. Too bad they're up against each other in the first round.
• Xavier: They're local, if it's the Xavier I'm thinking of.
• Arizona: I'd rather go to Arizona than West Virginia.
• Duke: See North Carolina for explanation.

East

• Indiana: The Midwest triumphs!
• Winthrop: NO THANK YOU, AMARYLLITH. I got nothing else.
• Oklahoma!: I'd like to say a word fer the cowboy: The road he rides is difficult and stony. He rides for days on end with just a pony for a friend. (I sure am feelin' sorry fer the pony!)
• Butler: I reeeeeeally like those study abroad catalogues.

Midwest

• Kent State: Are they the ones that are the Golden Flashes? That's interesting. I wish it were Flashers.
• Villanova: Villanova, riding on the strength of their name and the fact that I don't really have an opinion about Vanderbilt.
• Wisconsin: See? I like Wisconsin. There is a limit to how much I like them, though, as you will see in the next round.
• Gonzaga: Duh, continued.

South

• Oregon: I like Oregon. It seems very clean.
• Michigan State: More Michigan. W00t.
• Cornell: "A lot of people were like, 'Oh, you just got into Cornell because your dad donated a building.' No. Okay. I got into Cornell because I'm smart. I'm smart enough to have a dad who donates buildings to things."
• Austin Peay: The South is probably going to be the weakest part of my bracket. Austin Peay? Seriously?

West (I think this is the most boring quadrant of my bracket. I am falling asleep just thinking about it.)

• Texas A&M: I still know somebody who goes there.
• Connecticut: Blah blah, they're good at basketball. Like that's important in the NCAA playoffs.
• Xavier: Yeah, yeah, local, whatever.
• Duke: Yawn.

East

• Indiana: NO THANK YOU, AMARYLLITH! (You see how I worked that in there? You see? Shut up.)
• Oklahoma!: Wow, I actually got a #6 vs #7 pick. Usually at this point it's #15 up against #1 or something. So this might actually be a close game. Study abroad catalogues vs musicals... study abroad catalogues vs musicals. I really like those catalogues, but I'm just a girl who cain't say no (to musicals!).

Midwest

• Kent State: Way to go, Kent State. You've made it way farther than you probably deserve.
• Gonzaga: Gonzaga always triumphs! Sorry, Wisconsin. You should be in a different part of the bracket next year and you might make it farther. You'll never win, though, at least not in my Gonzaga-crazy imagination.

South

• Michigan State: Oregon may be nice, but it's not Michigan.
• Cornell: I can't believe I have Cornell vs Austin Peay in the third round. I am so losing. "The capital of Maine is Montpelier, Vermont, which is near Ithaca, New York, where I went to Cornell."

West (BORRRRRR-ING...)

• Texas A&M: I don't actually know anything about Connecticut except that they're supposed to be good. So we'll say that once again, Texas A&M is propelled to victory just by virtue of a friend of mine going there.
• Duke: If Xavier does too well, people might want to go there instead of The University I Work At.

East

• Oklahoma!: They will finally take Indiana out (in their surrey... with the friiiinge on top). I should kill this team off eventually or I'm going to run out of song lyrics to quote.

Midwest

• Gonzaga: Do you really need to ask?

South

• Michigan State: How did Cornell make it so FAR?

West (Stupid West. I'm going to kill you off as soon as possible. Unfortunately you go up against the Insane Joke South first.)

• Duke: Yeah, they're good at basketball, whatever. Are we done yet?

East/Midwest

• Gonzaga: Zag zag zag zag.

South/West

• Michigan State: I will allow them to survive this long as long as Sparty stays far away from me.

• Gonzaga wins! Yippety-doo! I think I picked the exact same finalists as last year.