Doctor Piglet, Doctor Winston, practice your art

Good news! I do not have a concussion... I think.

This afternoon I went a-returnin' things that I bought before my trip, which I later decided I didn't need. When I got to the mall in Cincinnati, I opened my truck to get out the shoebox, reached in, and the FIERCE STRONG WINDS blew the trunk lid down on my head. Tears came to my eyes and I sort of stumbled through the parking lot in a haze, wondering if I had a concussion. I returned my shoes, wandered in and out of stores, checked my pupils in the restroom mirror and - lo and behold! - received a phone call from my own personal athletic trainer and dispenser of medical advice. I didn't know if MOPATADOMA was at work and hadn't wanted to bother her, but when I told her my symptoms, she concluded that since my pupils matched in size, I wasn't nauseous, my eyes focused pretty well and the headache I had came only from the part of my head where the trunk lid hit, it probably wasn't a concussion after all, but that I should avoid falling asleep just to be safe. I assured her that I had no plans to go to sleep in the mall, and she said that was a definite sign that I didn't have a concussion, as the number one goal of everyone with a concussion is to find a mall and sleep in it. See, this is why I consult my sister on these medical matters: she is clearly an expert.

So now I'm back home and I'm pretty sure I don't have a concussion, but I am still terrified of ever going to sleep. Can't sleep! Concussions will eat me!

srah - Saturday, 28 October 2006 - 6:53 PM
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Comments (1)

gravatar chrispy - October 30, 2006 - 8:28 AM -

You don't have a concussion, but it turns out that you're retarded. Get to that mall quickly and start asking for hugs.

It's a good thing I'm here.

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