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'To be angry is to be human'???
I hate umbrellas. They're coarse and rough and irritating, but here everything is soft and smagggghhh--
Sorry, no, that's sand. Let's start over.
I hate umbrellas. I killed them. I killed them all. They're dead, every single one of them. And not just the men, but the women and the children, too! They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals! I hate them!
Hmmm. Not quite.
I hate umbrellas. They never work correctly for me. You have to hold the stupid thing, so you never have a free hand to do anything. Rain hardly ever falls straight down, so I end up getting wet anyway, from the sideways/diagonal rain. I am short, so when people share an umbrella with me, I am hit even harder with the sideways/diagonal rain and shouldn't even bother being underneath. And because I am short, when other people have umbrellas and I don't, they drip all of their umbrella-juice right onto my head. They take up a lot of space, they drip all over and get mildewy and smelly and they poke people in the eye. We should all just get damn raincoats.
But now I have my lovely Grown Up coat and I don't want to get it wet, so I brought along an umbrella today, as a Grown Up would. It was completely pointless and I got all wet anyway, but... you know... it made sense at the time.
You are asking me to be rational. That is something I know I cannot do.
Note: In researching for this post, I found 78 Reasons to Hate Star Wars: Episode 1, a site which is beautiful and true and lovely and all that is right with the world.
srah - Friday, 19 November 2004 - 12:17 PM
Tags: quote, star wars, star wars: the phantom menace, umbrellas
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Comments (3)
Aunt Pat - November 21, 2004 - 7:39 PM - ℓ
I love rain coats with hoods. I don't care if they're not grown up.
John - November 22, 2004 - 9:30 AM - ℓ
I, too, hate umbrellas. For one thing, the word is Latin for "little shadow", and how can you have a shadow when it's raining? It just doesn't make sense.
For the last fifteen years, I have favored a good coat and a wide-brimmed fedora. The coat keeps me warm and dry, and the hat keeps the rain (and the sun) out of my eyes.
Most of those are good reasons to hate Star Wars. Umbrellas annoy me.