Open letter to the fashion victim... of my LOVE!

Dear Thirty- Or Forty-Something Woman Walking In Front Of Me,

Whoa. I think maybe we should slow things down. We are taking things a little too fast and I'm getting freaked out. Let's just take a step back and think things over because I think we might be rushing it.

I mean, I don't even know you, and yet I am intimately aware of your underwear selection. We've never even talked and I know that you're wearing a thong. Actually, that's not completely true. I don't know that you're wearing a thong, I just kind of hope that you are, because otherwise you're going commando and I'm even more horrified that you would rush into such a thing on this, the first time we've been out(side) together.

I know that you are not wearing proper underwear, because I know that there is no fabric covering your buttocks. And I wish I didn't, believe me. I could have gone through my day quite happily without seeing you in your excessively short shorts, flashing one cheek or the other with every step you take.

Well, that's really all I can say, dear TOFSWWIFOM. Maybe it would be best if we started seeing other people. I will start by trying my hardest to see people who know how to wear pants properly.


srah - Monday, 13 September 2004 - 10:31 AM
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