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Rough and irritating

What my family enjoys even more than watching the new Star Wars trilogy is watching the new Star Wars trilogy annotated. This is a handy guide to the Star Wars universe narrated by... well, me... in my family room. Today we watched the middle one.

Anakin: I'm sorry, master!
srah: I'm sorry, too! Sorry that you're in this!

Obi-Wan: I hate it when he does that.
srah: Me too, Obi-wan. If by "that" you meant "appear in this movie", that is.

The parents had their own input:

Mummy: Why does he want her dead?
srah: Who?
Mummy: The clone guy.
srah: Jango Fett? He's a bounty hunter.
Mummy: So why is he telling that one to do it?
Daddy: What kind of bounty hunter subcontracts?

(Anakin jumps out of speeder and goes hurtling through space)
Mummy: What is he doing in this? Luke was annoying and whiny, but he was supposed to be whiny. Anakin isn't believable at all, and he isn't even good-looking. They should have cast Heath Ledger.

Perhaps if he had some better dialogue to work with he wouldn't be so embarassingly bad. Give me my original trilogy on DVD! Minus Special Edition changes!

This movie does, however, have one redeeming feature that the others don't. Click below for a special message from the family's official Favorite Star Wars Character.

srah - Tuesday, 9 September 2003 - 8:02 PM
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Comments (16)

gravatar alfie - September 9, 2003 - 11:15 PM -

You people are insane. I am too, but at least my favorite character isn't the devil Jedi archivist.

gravatar Justin - September 9, 2003 - 11:58 PM -

I think it's safe at this point to say that George Lucas has lost his mind. Am I right?

gravatar Jez - September 10, 2003 - 4:15 AM -

Yup, he's totally bonkers.

I believe I am the only person in the developed world not to have seen any of the new Star Wars films. Bring back Han Solo and Princess Leia!

gravatar srah - September 10, 2003 - 6:36 AM -

Especially Han Solo!

gravatar Jez - September 10, 2003 - 6:55 AM -

You can have Han Solo, I'll have Princess Leia. By crikey, you get up early. 6.36am?

gravatar srah - September 10, 2003 - 6:58 AM -

Left MSN on overnight and was awakened by a sibling from across the sea going "beedledee" "beedledee" "beedledee" "beedledee" "beedledee" "beedledee" "beedledee" "beedledee" "beedledee" "beedledee" "beedledee" "beedledee" "beedledee" "beedledee" "beedledee" "beedledee" "beedledee" "beedledee" "beedledee" so I got up.

gravatar Mr. Hibbity Gibbity - September 10, 2003 - 8:53 AM -

Let's not even get into all the discrepancies here . . . like why did Jango kill the assassin with the dart, when he could have, just as easily, killed one of the Jedi?

subcontract . . . he's the greatest bounty hunter ever . . . oh please!

He's more like a schmuck if you ask me.

The only redeeming factor is that 'spy reports' are saying that Anakin gets an arm and a leg cut off in the next movie! Whoopee!

'Are you an angel?'

gravatar katie - September 10, 2003 - 9:10 AM -

Jango had to kill the assassin, because she was a way for the 'authorities' to trace things back to him. If he killed the Jedi, there would always be more Jedi to find the assassin and, through her, Jango.

gravatar Jez - September 10, 2003 - 9:48 AM -

How can Anakin get an arm and a leg cut off in the next episode if he's coming back as Darth Vader in Episode 4, to be filmed in...erm...1978? Oh yeah, they've probably got good prosthetics departments in that galaxy's hospitals, right?

gravatar katie - September 10, 2003 - 10:32 AM -

Well, he's already had one arm chopped. And old Obi-Wan kept yada-yadaing on about how Vader was more machine that man...

What I want to know is how he goes from having all that curly auburn hair to being white and bald.

And, um, where and when does he pick up the British accent???

gravatar srah - September 10, 2003 - 10:36 AM -

I think being under the helmet stunted his hair growth. Plus he got old.

gravatar Jez - September 10, 2003 - 10:53 AM -

And going over to the Dark Side must be quite a stressful period of a man's life, leading to an acceleration of male pattern baldness.

gravatar Cheryl - September 10, 2003 - 11:43 AM -

That picture's great. Your family's weird.

gravatar Mr. Hibbity Gibbity - September 10, 2003 - 3:36 PM -

Actually . . . he loses his hair in a final confrontation with Obi-Wan in which Mr. Kenobi smacks the living midiclorians out of him and then he falls into a lake of lava . . .

But he's rescued . . . and turns into . . . the heavy-breather we all love and respect.

gravatar srah - September 10, 2003 - 10:52 PM -

Hib to the Gib's post is much better if you imagine Darth Vader breathing every time there's a '...'.

gravatar Mr. Hibbity Gibbity - September 11, 2003 - 7:36 AM -

: ) Why . . . thank-you . . .

The force is strong with this one.

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