Stop The Real World, I want to get off

I know you've missed the weekly screaming Real World recaps, but it was replaced by thirty-seven consecutive episodes of The Osbournes two weeks ago and I missed it last week. So this week I got a Double Dose of Reality! Yay!

Dear Real World Cast,

Once again, you've handed in your assignment at the last minute, and incomplete as well. Yelling at each about it is not going to get you your bonus. Suck it up and move on. I don't know how you can complain about student loans when you are being paid big bucks to do nothing and have, I assume, free housing and food. Your boss is not your mommy. Don't tattle on your housemates and complain to your boss about things that have no relevance to work. This isn't going to get you your bonus either, and it's just going to make you look like a big baby.

I hate these people and this show so much I can't articulate my hatred while I'm watching it. I think I frightened Robin and the poodle she's dog-sitting for with my screeches and clawing at the air.

CT and Leah, just do it and stop telling us how much you hate each other. Your relationship is only amusing in that we can take all of your lines and change them à la "Everything he does drives me insane" "...WITH LUST" and "He's so dirty" "... and that's the way I like it" and "He bought Christina and I a rose and thinks that makes it better?" "'HE BOUGHT CHRISTINA AND ME ROSES' or 'HE BOUGHT ROSES FOR CHRISTINA AND ME' you friggin' idiot". Well, maybe not that one.

How can these people write a guidebook when they can barely speak English? I don't want to be the editor who has to try to find a meaning in Christina's misuse of big words and Leah's grammatical incorrectness.

Simon, as cute and happy and smiley as you are when he visits, your boyfriend wants out. I'm not even convinced he's gay.

Adam, you are gay and in love with Ace. Realize this and stop hitting on every English-speaking girl in Paris in an effort to deny your homosexuality. Also stop instigating more trouble in the house than there already is. Also rapping. Also breathing.

srah - Wednesday, 20 August 2003 - 9:25 AM
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Comments (3)

gravatar katie - August 20, 2003 - 12:17 PM -

No comment.

Except to suggest that next time you use the word incorrectitude.

gravatar srah - August 20, 2003 - 1:03 PM -

Also a good choice.

gravatar Dan Cock - August 21, 2003 - 10:23 PM -

I've really, really been missing out, it seems.

I'm so out of the RW loop. CT and Leah? Simon's boyfriend? Holy crap I'm behind.

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