srah blah blah

[You selected: If you think Xinni should stay with Grugian and continue the cycle of the Golden Child, click here.]

His eyes looked so sad. Xinni reached out a hand to the Bacon-shaped alien.

"No, wait, seriously? You're going with him?" Jax spluttered, "Is this because he looks like Kevin Bacon? I can... I can..." He scrunched his face in concentration, then his own features began to shift. He finished transforming and looked up at Xinni expectantly.

"Yeccccccccch, Kevin Costner? Is that the best you can do?" Xinni sneered at Jax's attempt then giggled girlishly as she took Grugian's hand. Well, tentacle, she supposed, but a tentacle well-disguised as Kevin Bacon's hand. She didn't look back as Grugian led her onto his ship. As they walked through the corridors he told her about his planet and about the luxurious future that awaited her as the Bearer of the Golden Child.

"You will, of course, have a large crew of servants. There is one little problem, though," he warned as they stopped outside the portal to her chambers, "I didn't realize that it would be an issue until just now." He looked worried and stared down at his dance-worn Chuck Taylors. He ran a hand through his spiky hair and continued, "You see, since the servants come from a lower class than I do, they have not quite attained my... finesse at shape-shifting. We encouraged them all to adopt the same shape as I have, but I'm afraid they didn't get it quite right. They made the same mistake that your..." he sneered, "... friend did. Well, all except Todd, that is."

The portal opened and Xinni saw hundreds of Kevin Costners approaching her with baubles, bangles, beads and fine wines... and one human-sized slab of bacon who she took to be the aforementioned Todd. Somehow Todd was the least frightening of the group, but the presence of a delicious, comforting foodstuff was not enough to offset the terror of multiple Costners. Xinni screamed and turned to run away, but Grugian grabbed her and forced her into the chamber. The Costners surrounded her, plying her with jewels, perfumes, soft robes and delicious foods (Todd rather disturbingly offering a plate of bacon), and she backed toward the large windows at the back of the room.

"I changed my mind!" She looked panicked as the Costners closed in. "This life sounds great and all, but I can't stand seeing one Kevin Costner, let alone an army of them! Let me go! You're going to have to find someone else to have this Golden Child thing."

Grugian looked angry and frustrated. "Awwww, come on," he pleaded, trying the old blue-eyes approach on her, "I went through all this trouble... and you're already on the ship... don't make me go out there again..."

"The lady said NO!" shouted Jax, entering the room with a laser cannon. He pointed it at Grugian and the Costners, who shrank away from Xinni in fear. He broke a window with the cannon, then shot out a grappling hook. He grabbed Xinni by the waist and prepared to swing out of the ship to safety.

"Hey, wait a minute," Xinni protested, "Who says I'm going anywhere with you, you... Costner! Apparently your shape-shifting abilities are no better than these guys here!"

Jax grinned. He effortlessly transformed into Andrew McCarthy and winked at her. "I already knew they'd all be Costners. I just wanted to remind you how much you hate him."