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So I send people Moustache Trees on Facebook instead

My beard grows to my toes,
I never wears no clothes,
I wraps my hair,
Around my bare,
And down the road I goes.

- Shel Silverstein

I was raised to believe that women can do anything that men can do. So I'm always disappointed when I remember that I will (probably) never grow the long, flowing beard that I've dreamed of.

srah - Thursday, 15 May 2008 - 12:48 PM
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Comments (19)

gravatar James - May 15, 2008 - 2:51 PM - ℓ

You never know you might develop Hirsutism

gravatar Micah - May 15, 2008 - 7:36 PM - ℓ

Yes, every year I love growing out my winterbeard...until I'm sick of it 3 weeks into it. But I keep it for months on end because it's a WINTERbeard, dammit!

gravatar srah - May 15, 2008 - 7:42 PM - ℓ

Stop bragging! >:-(

gravatar Elisabeth - May 16, 2008 - 3:04 AM - ℓ

It makes me think we're missing out when we can't grow break up beards, or strike beards, or handlebar mustaches that we can twirl on our fingers and say "nyahh!"

gravatar srah - May 16, 2008 - 6:27 AM - ℓ

Exactly! Boo!

And what do we get in return? We can have babies, or some junk like that.

gravatar alfie - May 16, 2008 - 8:19 AM - ℓ

It's statements like that which make me believe that if you somehow have a child someday, I will end up raising it.

gravatar srah - May 16, 2008 - 8:25 AM - ℓ

Shush, you. I will be a great dad.

gravatar Cheryl - May 16, 2008 - 8:31 AM - ℓ

You are strange today.

gravatar srah - May 16, 2008 - 8:56 AM - ℓ

What, only today?

gravatar Angela - May 16, 2008 - 10:29 AM - ℓ

You know, you could always just grow out your hair long. Like Alanis Morrisette in that one music video where she was thanking India for something.

gravatar srah - May 16, 2008 - 10:44 AM - ℓ

It's not so much that I want to recreate the poem and run around naked. I just want a beard.

gravatar Micah - May 16, 2008 - 10:52 AM - ℓ

I would trade it all for the prospect of never having to pay for a drink at a bar again.

gravatar srah - May 16, 2008 - 10:55 AM - ℓ

Who are these mythical people who buy drinks for people in bars and yet do not give off a creepy vibe that makes you think the drink is drugged?

Only once have I ever had a stranger buy me a drink, and that was a friend-of-a-friend!

gravatar Micah - May 16, 2008 - 11:46 AM - ℓ

That's the way it works on movies and TV. *shrugs*

But I'm not much of a bar person, unless it's an underpopulated dive bar. But young, single women usually don't frequent those places.

How about this: I'd trade it all for, when I'm hitchhiking, a mere flashing of my gams would guarantee a passing motorist to stop and pick me up?

gravatar srah - May 16, 2008 - 11:51 AM - ℓ

Now you're getting in cars with strangers? You make a terrible woman!

gravatar Micah - May 16, 2008 - 11:55 AM - ℓ

Give me some slack! It's my first time trying on this gender.

(Ewwww, that sounded a bit too "Silence of the Lambs"-y.)

gravatar ashley - May 16, 2008 - 12:55 PM - ℓ

Oh I love Shel Silverstein. And I love that poem.

gravatar moe - May 17, 2008 - 11:46 AM - ℓ

There must be software for trying out beard styles, but where? I did find the bearded lady of Guildford, to let you know you mustn't give up your dream. www.baseframe.co.uk/?p=6
SHE would have been allowed to attend the stoning in "Life of Brian".

gravatar Pants - June 2, 2008 - 5:19 PM - ℓ

Don't give up hope, yet! ;-)

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