Do they have TV in intravenous form yet? Why not? Discuss.

Internet, I know you come here for the disgusting horrible metaphors, so let me give you one here:

You know how in order to make delicious delicious pâté, the nasty mean delicious-delicious-pâté-makers hook the poor delicious delicious geese up to a big pipe and shoot feed down their throats, force-feeding them until their delicious delicious livers are all huge and swollen and distended?¹

That is going to be me tonight, only replace "throats" with "eyes" and replace "feed-pipe" with "television." ABC and NBC have decided to cooperate and arrange all of my favorite shows on one night, in a big three-hour block. Ugly Betty! The Office! 30 Rock! Lost! SO MUCH TELEVISION! Just hook me directly to the TV, please. Or put me in some kind of tank so that I don't accidentally interact with other human beings.

At the end of the night I will roll off the couch and wonder why my liver hurts.

HONK!

¹ If you didn't know, sorry to disillusion you!²

² I am in love with footnotes today.

srah - Thursday, 1 May 2008 - 12:46 PM
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Comments (16)

gravatar J - May 1, 2008 - 1:14 PM -

Did you enjoy Teh Neil? I actually watched AI just to see him. I thought he was too nice to the contestants, but then, I think he knew that they couldn't compare to him. But I didn't see last night's so I didn't see if he performed.

gravatar tiff - May 1, 2008 - 1:42 PM -

oooh intravenous teevee would be awesome, then I wouldn't miss Lost during bathroom breaks!

gravatar tiff - May 1, 2008 - 1:44 PM -

oooh intravenous teevee would be awesome, then I wouldn't miss Lost during bathroom breaks!

gravatar srah - May 1, 2008 - 1:57 PM -

@J: NOT ENOUGH NEIL. They kept saying "Neil Diamond and Natasha Bedingfield" so I thought she was going to be on doing a duet with him, rather than cheating me out of another Neil song! BOOOO. He sang one from his new album, but none of the old stuff.

gravatar Wickedly Scarlett - May 1, 2008 - 2:16 PM -

Oh, dear GOD! I did NOT know that was how pate was made...

However, horrific imagery aside, I'll be right there with you in our television viewing gluttony tonight!!

gravatar srah - May 1, 2008 - 2:39 PM -

Only pâté de foie gras. I'm not sure about other pâtés.

gravatar Fraulein N - May 1, 2008 - 2:42 PM -

I am in love with footnotes every day. Also, Lost. Stupid fantastic Lost.

gravatar srah - May 1, 2008 - 2:56 PM -

Me too. Also delicious delicious pâté.

gravatar allison - May 1, 2008 - 6:35 PM -

If TV was able to be dosed interveinously, then smell-o-vision would have been created by now.

gravatar James D - May 2, 2008 - 10:03 AM -

I was just wondering if you will be multitasking while watching this TV, or if it is sooooo good you will be singletasking it? I say this because there are very few times in my day that I am singletasking, so that is the mark of me REALLY being interested in something.

gravatar srah - May 2, 2008 - 10:10 AM -

I was multitasking. I can't not multitask. The closest I got to singletasking was while watching Lost, when instead of fooling around on the Internet, I was talking through most of it and making puking noises whenever Jack and Kate made out.

gravatar nancypearlwannabe - May 2, 2008 - 12:27 PM -

I gave up cable in the hopes of avoiding such scenarios, but then got sucked into a PBS show called Carriers that's on for two hours EVERY NIGHT. Please don't tell me I have to get rid of a TV altogether...

gravatar Micah - May 2, 2008 - 12:45 PM -

The Neil only given the opportunity to perform just one song was definitely the suck, especially because I had to put up with 45 minutes of bad karaoke beforehand.

Ragging on Frodo, Jimmy Fallon, and Rusted Root Guy with you made it bearable, though.

"30 Rock" was subpar, but "The Office" was great. Anglea's completely lame Mad-Lib (and Andy's reactions) was maybe the highlight for me.

gravatar srah - May 2, 2008 - 12:47 PM -

30 Rock subpar? She chose a sandwich over a man! I love Liz Lemon.

gravatar Micah - May 2, 2008 - 2:01 PM -

And it's comendable that they showed her eating all of said sandwich in one long take, but this episode wasn't pure awesomeness as so many others in the series (even with an appearence by Brian Dennehy...and that's saying A LOT).

gravatar srah - May 2, 2008 - 2:03 PM -

Needed more Spaceman.

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