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This is all one sentence, because I don't know how to punctuate

Just once, I would like to see a commercial where a woman gathers her friends all around her, glances at them conspiratorily, then shows off her left hand while excitedly announcing "He went to JARED!" and that this time instead of a diamond ring, she would be holding a great big Subway sandwich.

srah - Thursday, 3 January 2008 - 5:57 PM
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Comments (19)

gravatar katelin - January 3, 2008 - 6:59 PM - ℓ

Haha, I love your idea. That'd be a great commercial.

gravatar Jess - January 3, 2008 - 8:01 PM - ℓ

That would be awesome. It would have to be a very awesome satire so that it would be protected from lawsuits for copyright infringement.

gravatar b - January 3, 2008 - 9:04 PM - ℓ

HA! thank god someone else makes fun of those ridonkulous commercials!

gravatar alfie - January 4, 2008 - 12:15 AM - ℓ

You know how Mom is always asking us what she should tell our future spouses if they ask her for ring advice? I always tell her to tell them that if they go to any store that has advertisements that annoy me or the jewelry store owned by the jerk and his wife, that I will be very angry. Sometimes I think that stupid panther ring might be my only option, but after Richard Ayaode gives it to you, it would look rather pathetic.

gravatar srah - January 4, 2008 - 12:19 AM - ℓ

What do you mean, stupid? It is extremely elegant! (And you were right - it's very expensive!) But if you don't want to steal my panther ring, Heavenly Treasures has lots of other rings that would be equally elegant.

I don't think I could care less where a ring came from! I don't know much about jewelry.

gravatar srah - January 4, 2008 - 7:27 AM - ℓ

No one has commented on the true horror of this scenario, which is: someone has just given this woman a second-hand sandwich. Jared is re-selling sandwiches on the street. What the hell is going on here?

gravatar Elisabeth - January 4, 2008 - 1:37 PM - ℓ

It's not difficult for me to believe that's something he would do.

gravatar Fraulein N - January 4, 2008 - 2:08 PM - ℓ

I think I'd rather have a second-hand sandwich than risk someone squealing, "He went to JARED!!!!" in my face.

gravatar alfie - January 4, 2008 - 2:47 PM - ℓ

Mom and I were actually talking about the panther ring when we were at the mall. My mental picture of it was a lot less hideous than the real thing, so thanks for posting the link.

Blech.

gravatar jamelah - January 4, 2008 - 4:39 PM - ℓ

Thank you.

And I agree with Fraulein N. Those commercials make me want to cut someone.

gravatar Lisa - January 4, 2008 - 11:35 PM - ℓ

I would rather have a delicious sandwich than stupid flowers or something any day.

gravatar Momo Fali - January 5, 2008 - 11:17 AM - ℓ

Great. Now I'm craving a tuna melt.

gravatar Gretchen - January 5, 2008 - 4:12 PM - ℓ

Whoa, that panther ring is the blingiest piece of awesome *ever.*

gravatar Fraulein N - January 5, 2008 - 8:41 PM - ℓ

Oh my damn I just checked out that panther ring and LORDY. It looks like the panther is having an allergic reaction. A very tacky allergic reaction.

gravatar srah - January 6, 2008 - 3:50 PM - ℓ

Hee hee. I had never looked at it like that.

gravatar Elisabeth - January 7, 2008 - 1:21 AM - ℓ

It looks like the panther is throwing up something pink and heart shaped. Or swallowing it. That is not a panther to be messed with.

gravatar EV - January 7, 2008 - 1:59 PM - ℓ

I just IM'd my dude that I want the Panther instead of the simple, affordable aquamarine (i.e. non-diamond, thanks) ditty that we just ordered off the internets. He said no. Goddammit.

gravatar srah - January 7, 2008 - 2:35 PM - ℓ

Oh, are you engaged? Congratulations! The panther is, indeed, lovely, but you might want to surf around the site to see if there is something that you like even more. There are many heavenly treasures to be beheld. Or maybe you are more of a dog person.

gravatar EV - January 7, 2008 - 3:56 PM - ℓ

Holy OMG octopus! Anyway, we decided to get married in a totally uneventful way like a bazillion years ago, but then just recently picked a date to go to city hall and gave into my stupid female socialization and bought a ring. It's the second time for both of us, so the whole engagement thing just has a different, more earthly kind of magic.

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