Lord of the Flies ruined me for Young People in Mass Quantities

Dear State Street (including pedestrians, idiot drivers and - hell, the traffic light at State and North University, just for being there):

Die die die die die die die.

I was on North University, trying to turn left onto State. The woman in front of me in the left-turn lane pulled out into the intersection, then tried to wait for some parked cars to go. It was very courteous of her to let these cars go in front of her, but they didn't want to go. That's why they were parked. WITH NO DRIVERS IN THEM. Then she made a big show of looking up at the traffic light to see if it was still green. You and I are now blocking the intersection, lady. It doesn't matter what the hell color the light is. If it's red, are you going to just sit there?

Then I had to drive through a sea of young people crossing the street willy-nilly - people who would no doubt complain if I mowed them down, even if I had the right of way. It's summer! Where do these people come from? Don't they have homes to go back to? I bet your parents' lawn needs mowing.

Considering how much I hate college students (the nameless, faceless masses, anyway - and the ones in tank tops and butt-revealing ruffly skirts), sometimes I wonder why I want to help them for a living. Most of the time I just want to help them by crushing them under the wheels of my car.


P.S. Don't tell any of the schools I'm applying for jobs at about the whole wheel-crushing thing. I'm just kidding! You wanted a Sense of Humor, right? Right? And maybe if you gave me a job, I wouldn't have so much pent-up aggression to spew upon nameless, faceless undergraduates! Maybe! There's only one way to find out!

P.P.S. Sigh.

srah - Wednesday, 29 June 2005 - 3:14 PM
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Comments (9)

gravatar ecook - June 29, 2005 - 4:29 PM -

"Most of the time I just want to help them by crushing them under the wheels of my car." == quote of the year

gravatar srah - June 29, 2005 - 4:53 PM -

I like your nerdy double-equals sign!

gravatar Tony - June 29, 2005 - 5:10 PM -

Interesting how this happened after we were just talking about dreading driving in the campus district last night. Our point is proven!

Maybe it is your density to be the impact person that those butt-revealing ruffly skirt girls need to be put on the right track. If not, you could just tie them to the track and wait for the next train :-P

gravatar srah - June 29, 2005 - 5:54 PM -

Ha ha! You said density! Why don't you make like a tree and get out of here!

gravatar Smuj - June 29, 2005 - 7:12 PM -

Just because you don't like the butt-revealing ruffly skirt girls doesn't mean you have to ruin it for the rest of us.

gravatar katie - June 29, 2005 - 8:40 PM -

lol @ smuj

I feel jipped out of the whole story! How did you finally escape being the cause of gridlock? Was the herd of lemmings at the same intersection? Did you honk your horn a lot, not to actually accomplish anything, but to make yourself feel better by making the lady in front of you feel worse?

I want details!

gravatar srah - June 29, 2005 - 9:56 PM -

I did honk! I hardly ever honk at anything! The herd of lemmings were at the next intersection, just to make me crazy.

gravatar Noor - June 30, 2005 - 9:00 AM -

Those young people and their willy-nillyness. I blame it on the iPods. You know back in my day, I was taught to watch out for the cars when crossing the street. These days, they all cross the street whenever the hell they feel like it. It is almost like they're in some sort of suicide pact.

gravatar katie - June 30, 2005 - 11:31 AM -

If that's the case, then they want us to hit them.

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