A series of short lists

Movies I saw in the theater Saturday night:

  1. Batman Begins

Movies I saw previews for Saturday night that I don't want to see:
  1. All of them

Things that offend me about The Fantastic Four:
  1. How come Mr Stretchy Guy gets the name Mr Fantastic instead of something descriptive of his powers? Is there something especially Fantastic about being stretchy?

Things that offended me about Batman Begins:
  1. The Scarecrow was not given the attention and power that I feel he deserves as a Batman baddie. He was just a throwaway underling to Raz-al-Ghul or whatever his name is, rather than an actual threat to Gotham. I am extra defensive of him because he was kind of disturbingly cute.
  2. Bruce Wayne just tells everyone he's Batman. At the end of the movie, there are two loose ends hanging around, knowing his true identity. The point of an alter ego is to protect those you love and sometimes (see Kent, Clark) you have to protect them by keeping them in the dark. I know that and I'm not a superhero! ... or am I?
  3. Tom Wilkinson's American accent

Things that prevent me from completely embracing Christian Bale as Batman:
  1. Christian Bale's upper lip and the way he sticks it out when he talks (it's like he almost lisps, but not quite.)

People it took me waaaaaaaaay too long to recognize:
  1. Jim Gordon (I don't think it was 45 minutes in, like apete says, but it was way longer than it should have been. I didn't catch that they kept calling this police guy Gordon when Bruce met him the FIRST time and it wasn't until I realized that he kept showing up and was more than a throwaway character that I actually thought about it, looked at him, and realized he looks like Commissioner Gordon!)

People I recognized before they spoke:
  1. Batgirl (she didn't really speak at all - cooed and cried and gurgled, really - but is still listed in the credits as Barbara Gordon and I made that connection as soon as I saw her sitting in her high chair)

People who are misidentified in the credits
  1. Little Boy (that's totally Dick Grayson! If you're going to identify a baby as Barbara Gordon, you can identify Unidentified Boy With Missing Parents as Dick Grayson!)

Things that permanently scarred my mind Saturday night:
  1. Katie Holmes' nipples (no, seriously, they reached out of the screen and poked me in the brain, I think. It hurt.)

Movies I saw on DVD Saturday night that were better than Batman Begins:
  1. Anchorman

In the extension: Spoiler-ish discussion of a plot point...

srah - Monday, 20 June 2005 - 1:14 PM
Tags: , , ,

Comments (14)

gravatar Greg - June 20, 2005 - 2:19 PM -

Re: Mr. Fantastic. Think of it this way. The DC comics counterpart, a superhero member of the Justice League who can stretch, is called The Elongated Man. Is that a better name than Mr. Fantastic? No. No, it is not.

Anchorman was NOT better than BB. The movie was completely worthless except for Steve Carell, who deserved an oscar.

gravatar srah - June 20, 2005 - 2:21 PM -

I love lamp.

gravatar apete - June 20, 2005 - 2:35 PM -

If you aren't going to complain about it, I am. Bat-toy that didn't belong in this movie:

The bat-tank (I refuse to call it -mobile.) What was with that tank? When you think of a bat, you think sleek, fast, nimble, agile, etc. At least I do? Not chunky, clunky and SMASH!

One cool item about the bat-tank though was the alternate seating in order to use the wepons.

gravatar srah - June 20, 2005 - 2:43 PM -

Oh, I forgot to complain about Batman endangering the lives of policemen. Even if The Police were corrupt, that doesn't justify (to me) a life-threatening car chase, flipping police cars over and driving over them, endangering individual (lowercase) policemen.

And I forgot to complain about the ZOMBIES.

gravatar alfie - June 20, 2005 - 3:15 PM -

I can't believe I misread the credits and didn't realize that Linus Roache was the dad. I thought he looked familiar and I read Dr. Jonathan Crane as Dr. Thomas Wayne. Those credits moved too fast.

gravatar Tony - June 20, 2005 - 7:57 PM -

Gumby was stretchy, and he was fantastic...but yet they didn't call him Mr Fantastic. Feel free to use that as more ammunition for your point.

gravatar NeighborGuy - June 22, 2005 - 2:15 PM -

mmm, zombies...

gravatar bryan - June 22, 2005 - 5:29 PM -

given that the human body is also 70% water, the microwave device would have also vaporized everyone's blood.

also, katie holmes is not that cute, even when you could (to quote steven segal) dial a phone with her nipples.

also, all of your other criticisms (particularly the one about endangering the cops -- not cool, batman).

still, i liked the movie way better than any of the previous ones, and perhaps even slightly more than spiderman 2. so put that in your bat-pipe and smoke it.

gravatar srah - June 22, 2005 - 6:04 PM -

I did like the movie! I just had problems with the things listed. It would be no fun if I made a list of the things that I liked.

gravatar katie - June 23, 2005 - 11:01 PM -

I would love a summer blockbuster movie about Gumby saving the world from an evil mastermind.

They could call Pokey Mr. Fantastic.

gravatar katie - June 23, 2005 - 11:01 PM -

PS - With a tank.

gravatar Smuj - June 24, 2005 - 1:38 PM -

I haven't seen Batman Begins yet, but I think it's safe to say Anchorman is, in fact, the better film. "There were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident!"

gravatar Tony - June 24, 2005 - 5:39 PM -

PSS Of course, the tank would fire clay pigeons.

gravatar katie - June 24, 2005 - 6:15 PM -

Of course.

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