It's the End of the World As We Know It, and I Have a Delicious Tuna Salad Sandwich

I bought another container of mayonnaise today.

That sounds like the beginning of a great novel or, more likely, a Bulwer-Lytton entry. But no, it is just a post about mayonnaise.

I bought another container of mayonnaise today. I don't use a whole lot of mayonnaise so I'm sure the last time I bought some was months ago. As I threw out the old container, I noticed its expiration date: July 2, 2007. I consulted my brand new mayonnaise and found that it is scheduled to expire July 19, 2007. Apparently Hellman's knows something I didn't. But now I do. Some time in July 2007, all the mayonnaise on Earth shall expire. And I can only assume that the mayonnaise will expire because the WORLD will be ENDING! The Rapture is coming, and all the believers and the mayonnaise shall be swept up to heaven! Trust in the Mayonnaise Prophecy!

(I hope Armageddon doesn't come before the new Harry Potter book. That would suck.)

srah - Monday, 12 February 2007 - 6:18 PM
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Comments (4)

gravatar Secret Rapture - February 13, 2007 - 8:55 AM -

My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions! The Secret Rapture soon!
Read My Inaugural Address
At = http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman

gravatar jamelah - February 13, 2007 - 9:27 AM -

Man. I hope the apocalypse waits until after I go on vacation.

gravatar J - February 13, 2007 - 9:41 AM -

Good riddance, mayonnaise.

gravatar Jen - February 13, 2007 - 12:42 PM -

Harry Potter - July 21st I believe...you might just make it.

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