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How am I going to live on my own???

I am completely flummoxed by a jar of olives. The dang thing won't open, no matter what I try. I think I'll have to wait until someone gets here to help me.

How will I eat olives when I'm all alone? Will I have to go door-to-door asking neighbors for help? Will I have to take them to work and pass the jar around from office to office, trying to find someone who can vainquish it?

Sigh. I'd better enjoy these olives. They may be my last.

srah - Wednesday, 12 October 2005 - 7:15 PM
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Comments (16)

gravatar Not Your MOM - October 12, 2005 - 8:44 PM -

Stuck jar lids are the reason I got married. :-(

gravatar Aunt Pam - October 13, 2005 - 12:55 AM -

Things that work (really!):
Silicone Hotpads
Rubber Jar openers
Puttin' a rubberband around the lid
Turning the jar upside down and hitting the bottom.

And short of smashing said jar of olives against a brick wall, there are devices to be bought. Black & Decker has an electric one and there is another manual gizmo.

gravatar Aunt Pam - October 13, 2005 - 12:55 AM -

Things that work (really!):
Silicone Hotpads
Rubber Jar openers
Puttin' a rubberband around the lid
Turning the jar upside down and hitting the bottom.

And short of smashing said jar of olives against a brick wall, there are devices to be bought. Black & Decker has an electric one and there is another manual gizmo.

gravatar Jamie - October 13, 2005 - 2:08 AM -

Like Not Your MOM said, this is one of the very good reasons to get married.
By the way, one day our neighbor came over with a jar of pickles and asked the husband to open it. So, yes, that might be a possibility to consider.

gravatar srah - October 13, 2005 - 8:40 AM -

Your husband is WAY too far away!

gravatar Not Your MOM - October 13, 2005 - 9:35 AM -

When my husband isn't home I use one of those rubber jar openers. I have two, one for the lid and one to hold the jar. Most of the time I can get them open. I also turn upside down and hit the lid against the counter to hopefully break the vacuum seal that is holding it in place and not the jar.

gravatar Tamara - October 13, 2005 - 11:30 AM -

you'll be fine with the olives because you can speak french. they like that.

gravatar jday - October 13, 2005 - 12:10 PM -

I highly recommend hitting the side of the lid against a hard surface (like a countertop, not your head). This works wonders for olive jars in particulr, although I have also used it regularly for pickle jars (though not usually in the same day).

gravatar NeighborGuy - October 13, 2005 - 12:42 PM -

two things that are safer than hitting a jar on a counter -

1 - use a spoon or a fork to pry the lid a touch to release the vacuum.

2 - use one of those old fashioned can opener thingies that has a flat tab on the opposite side of the pointy hole-poking thingie to pry the lid up. that's what it is for.

gravatar srah - October 13, 2005 - 1:51 PM -

The olives like French? Or the jars? Or the other people's husbands?

gravatar Allison - October 13, 2005 - 7:42 PM -

Crap! I just erased my comment!!

Anyway, use a bottle cap opener. (The kind that take the caps off of bottles of beer.) They also poke holes into tin cans (so you can pour out the contents). Trust me: they work fine, are cheaper than anything mechanical, and can be found in many convenient places, like CVS or on someone's keychain. In my years of living alone, I've rarely had to deprive myself of an olive craving. Man, now I have a craving for olives!

gravatar Cheryl - October 14, 2005 - 11:39 AM -

We used to take things that needed opening over to the guys at the lumber yard.

Also, I was the one who used to open things for my one of my roommates because her weakling boyfriend never could!

gravatar jamelah - October 15, 2005 - 8:59 AM -

Well. Olives.

gravatar David - October 20, 2005 - 9:32 PM -

Have you tried the hammer technique?

gravatar David - October 20, 2005 - 9:46 PM -

Have you tried the hammer technique?

gravatar srah - October 20, 2005 - 9:50 PM -

The M.C. Hammer?!

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