Thrill me with your acumen...

Dear Stupid Idiot,

Why did you think it was such a bright idea to watch The Silence of the Lambs in the middle of a Sunday afternoon? Far from saving yourself from fear by watching it during daylight, you have now committed yourself to several extra hours of terror wherein you fear moths and transvestites and creepy creepy men and men in general and men in night-vision goggles and visions of serial killers are dancing in your head, which has plenty of dance room because they have already eaten your brain.

This was Clarice's first big shot at practicing her profession. Are they going to try to eat your brain at your summer internship? Are you actually going to get a summer internship in the first place so that your brain can be eaten?

For heaven's sake, Stupid Idiot. You started out the day watching The Prince & Me. The visions dancing in your head could have been a happy-ever-after fairytale where you are in love with the very attractive Prince of Denmark. Instead, your face has been eaten off. WAY TO GO!

Love,
Yourself

P.S. Goddamn Australians! Stealing our god-given right as Americans to swoop in in storybook-style and marry European princes, bumbling backwardly through court etiquette and yet wooing them with our views on democracy and knowledge of good, wholesome farm know-how and our ability to bring the royalty and the common man together! That's our job! He's MINE!

srah - Sunday, 4 April 2004 - 6:00 PM
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Comments (6)

gravatar Smuj - April 4, 2004 - 6:25 PM -

It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.

Today I watched American Beauty, and then Amlie. Neither is particularly terrifying.

gravatar Urs - April 4, 2004 - 7:02 PM -

When I was about 14 or 15, I was really messed up. One time my dad yelled at me for watching Natural Born Killers on Sunday, of all days

gravatar Urs - April 4, 2004 - 7:02 PM -

it was the most religious I remember him being

gravatar Smuj - April 4, 2004 - 9:59 PM -

Wait. You have "farm know-how"?

gravatar srah - April 5, 2004 - 12:18 AM -

*I* don't. Julia Stiles does.

gravatar jday - April 5, 2004 - 12:34 PM -

You actually saw that teeny-bopper movie, the prince and I? *scoffs* (I made Matt take me on Friday night... how pitiful!)

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