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Hope is the thing with feathers. No wait, that's a duck.
"I don't see why that shouldn't count for credit," my professor said when I described my summer internship to him. Prior to that, I had given up hope of a for-credit internship and was mostly just happy to have something to occupy me over the summer. "They're pretty accomodating." He suggested that they had been known to bend the rules in order to get people credit.
"We will get you credit for this," said the president of my organization. "Just let me know what I have to do."
This gave me hope. So I set up an appointment for today to talk to the person in charge of the I Practical Engagement Program (PEP) to see if my internship could count as a I Directed Field Experience (DFE) and therefore for credit.
I was running late this morning, so I forewent blow-drying my hair or putting my contacts in, dooming myself to a day of wet/limp hair and glasses, but assuring that I would not make a bad impression by being late. I further avoided lateness by parking in a pay lot near campus rather than parking for free and travelling closer. I headed up to her office.
"I wanted to talk to you about my internship and seeing if it could count as a DFE," I began, sitting down. "I, um, I'll be making websites for this study abroad center in Michigan and in France. The problem is, they have IT people and they have graphic designers who have been doing websites up until this point, but they don't actually have a webmaster. But the president of the company and the IT person are both willing to be considered my supervisor and to report on my progress."
The answer is no.
There is no webmaster, the SI student is the most knowledgeable person there in the field she'll be working in, so despite the valuable experience, there will be no credit. She suggested that it would work if I could convince the organization to hire a webmaster. Yeah, thanks for that. You're loads of help there.
I left her office and burst into tears*. Why did I bother setting up this appointment? Why did I bother trying so hard to be on time? I was limp-haired, bespectacled and now soggy-faced.
I managed to have this appointment, burst into tears, mop myself up, buy myself a bubble tea for comfort and get back to my car, all within the course of ten minutes. Why did I bother coming to campus in the first place?
It's quite possible that I could have gotten away with it by just having the president submit my proposal and not asking about it, but now I've gone and told her the truth and I won't be able to pull that one.
I really shouldn't be this upset, because I had resigned myself to doing two different non-credit projects this summer and having to do something totally lame for credit next semester while also taking classes. But every conversation I had presented a glimmer of hope. "They're not really that strict about it," I heard, every time I lamented my no-credit assumption. So why are they willing to bend the rules for others, but not for me?
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* Is it just me, or does it seem like I am always bursting into tears? I hope it's, like, PMS or something and not a symptom of a deeper, more permanent psychological problem.
srah - Friday, 30 April 2004 - 12:44 PM
Tags: crying, internship, school of information, the abbey
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Comments (13)
Urs - April 30, 2004 - 1:28 PM - ℓ
Well, you were nervous to begin with, heightening your stress and hearing thyat answer just pushed you over the edge. Basically, you felt embarassed because you realized that you didn't need to meet with that person and that you rushed around to get late. Even though nobody knew that you had to pay for parking and get all frenzied, you knew and just that embarassed you.
I have mini-breakdowns quite a bit (though I have been diagnosed with depression and am on anti-depressants). When things reach a certain point, and you can't just pour your boiling tea on the bouncer, you need to break down. They are often points of renewal, its weird.
When I was in Africa, it was getting to be finals time and I had a lot of papers due that were stressing me out. At one point, I sat at a table in the middle of the library and began to cry for a few seconds, then, suddenly, things began to come together and I realized that my situation was not as bad as it seemed.
There were other times when I was crying non-stop and had to get help, but it all worked out in the end. So the long and short is that I don't think theres anything more wrong with normal you than with anti-depressant me.
frank - April 30, 2004 - 3:53 PM - ℓ
I'm sorry to hear this. I find it interesting that the DFE situation (which is supposed to be all about encouraging work experience in outside settings) presents so many bureaucratic hurdles and obstacles. Your internship sounds like an ideal DFE and they won't approve it. I don't get it.
Mr B------ - April 30, 2004 - 4:01 PM - ℓ
Every interaction I have with the bureaucracy of this school makes me want to slap someone upside their head. Next time it comes up, I think I'll mention to the people in the "PEP" office that I'm paying thirteen thousand dollars a year to learn, not to work for free.
Although it looks like the only way I'm going to get any relevant work experience this summer is to work for free--regardless of whether the powers that be grant me "PEP" points. Hooray for SI, opening up so many doors to us!
jday - May 3, 2004 - 11:51 AM - ℓ
My dogs could eat the mean PEP people. They sound like p**py meanie heads. (Hey, your comments won't let me say p**py! It's "questionable content"! wow, srah, talk about strict).
yer 501 teammate - May 3, 2004 - 3:09 PM - ℓ
srah - i just wrote out a too-long response, and decided to email it to you instead..
jday - May 4, 2004 - 2:05 PM - ℓ
Oh, good! That woman was a poopy meanie head.
Call George Furnas. Ask him to advocate for you. Also ask Murray to advocate.