Wee, sleekit, cow'rin, tim'rous beastie

If you don't already think me mousy, you should see me eat an almond. It occurred to me while eating a bag of Almond M&Ms on the bus today that it's really quite a disgusting sight to see. This is one of those times where I wonder who lets me out in public.

Generally, when I eat a candy with whole almonds in it, I eat away the candy, then suck on the almond for a while. Eventually, the skin softens up and I can eat that separately. Then I can finally break up the almond and eat that.

The disgusting part is when I can't get the skin off with just my teeth and tongue, so I hold it in my hand and nibble away at it. Suddenly I realize that someone has seen me remove the soggy, drool-drenched almond from my mouth in order to remove the skin. All I can do is smile nervously and continue nibbling away. I don't think I could eat almonds any other way, unless I realized what I was doing and made a concentrated effort not to. If I were meeting the Queen of England, I suppose I would have to do that, but the rest of you poor suckers will have to deal.

I can make a bag of Almond M&Ms last for hours.

srah - Tuesday, 4 November 2003 - 6:19 PM
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Comments (9)

gravatar Matt S. - November 4, 2003 - 7:34 PM -

It's too bad Rabbie Burns didn't have M&Ms to write about...

gravatar srah - November 4, 2003 - 7:36 PM -

If it would have been about drool-covered almonds, I don't think I could describe that as "too bad".

gravatar Harry - November 4, 2003 - 8:53 PM -

Thanks a lot srah, all your talk of almond m&ms made me want some and when I went to the vending machine all they had was peanut ones! AAAAAAHHH the humanity!!!!!!

gravatar srah - November 4, 2003 - 8:54 PM -

They never have almond. >:(

gravatar mommy - November 4, 2003 - 10:54 PM -

Who is letting you out in public? Just for the record, I want everyone to know that your eating habits were not learned in your home, from your parents. I don't believe you were first raised by wolves, but it is the only explanation I can come up with.

gravatar Mike - November 5, 2003 - 12:42 AM -

Heh heh, you ever eat Mike and Ike's? Anyone ever notice that if you suck on them a bit the turn clear? Really. Try it.

Speaking of going out in public though, I think I may've seen you srah out and about around here the other day--you happen to wear a mostly yellow with blue columbia-type coat? I wasn't sure so i didn't say anything, lol but i felt like i saw a celebrity :-D

Back to the ever-important topic of M&M's have you noticed that Peanut Butter M&M's--the best kind by far I hate to tell you--are in rather short supply? Places've always got plain (who seriously likes plain?) and peanut (who wants peanut when you can have peanut butter, though these are better than plain at times). I almost feel lucky when a place has peanut butter M&Ms. 'Nother weird thing about vending machines is around here they've got all different prices. One building sells Resee's for 65 cents, others for 85. I have a dream...

gravatar srah - November 5, 2003 - 1:06 AM -


gravatar katie - November 5, 2003 - 8:33 AM -

I do the same thing! Only not just with almonds. With ANY nut-in-candy.

But this is worse: When I eat Doritos, I like all the flavor powder off of one side, and then I flip it over and lick off the other side. Then I eat the chip. So people watch me holding a gooey, licked Dorito in my fingers until it's absolutely clean.

My mom thinks I'm neurotic.

gravatar Cheryl - November 6, 2003 - 3:23 PM -

You've always eaten like a mouse. Remember elementary school?

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