Bob Barker wants YOU

Yesterday, between all of the adorable little caniches I saw in the street that begged to be petted and cuddled and my fellow moviegoers at the Harry Potter screening, I decided that we have it all wrong. We should be spaying and neutering our neighbors and letting the puppies flower and multiply in abundance.

The family behind me had somewhere from 3 to 8 kids. I couldn't tell, because they were moving around throughout the whole movie. And kicking my chair. And kicking other chairs in my row so mine bounced along with them. And walking up and down their row, smacking me in the head as they went by. And talking loudly about how Dobby was really ugly and they wanted him off the screen. And throwing paper over my seat. I would have wondered how someone could raise such unruly children, but I didn't have to, because they were attended by parents who had also never had lessons on How To Behave In Public. Certainly they had never had lessons on How To Behave In A Movie Theater, because every time a kid wouldn't sit down or wouldn't shut up, the mother would scream, "BEHAVE YOURSELF," or "SIT DOWN RIGHT NOW OR I'LL HIT YOU," not only not whispering, but not speaking in a normal indoor voice, either.

Harry Potter is not a children's movie, although many parents have this mistaken impression. Eight, nine, ten year old children, yes. Children who know how to behave themselves in public, yes. But it is not a movie for four year olds who will be frightened by Dobby, let alone the enormous scary spider attacks. I dream of a world where there would be "no children" showings of Harry Potter that people like me could go to.

srah - Thursday, 13 February 2003 - 5:48 AM
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