srah blah blah

A disturbingly insensitive and graphic post

If you want to end it all and piss everyone off while you're at it, an excellent way of going about it would be to throw yourself under a train at the place where the Angers-Nantes and Angers-Cholet lines meet. That way people who arrive at the Angers train station at 10:30 for an 11:00 train will not be able to take this train, because it had to stop after it squished you. In addition to that, they won't be able to take any other train, because no trains can get to Angers. "Indeterminable delay" will flash up on the departure board for all of the destinations.

Then perhaps, if you're lucky, at 12:30 some American girl will be standing in line to ask if she's going to be charged extra for her connecting train (if there will be one) when they suddenly announce that the 11:00 for Lyon has arrived and everyone needs to get aboard immediately. This is where you get a bit more revenge, because it is discovered that your squished carcass has caused some damage to the engine. Everyone off! This train isn't leaving after all!

Back goes the American to the line, wondering if she's going to have to take the 13:45 Angers-Lyon-St-Germain des Foss�es-Vichy trip that costs twice as much as the original ticket. The SNCF won't reimburse it, of course, because it was not their fault that you threw yourself in front of the train. Then there's another announcement. The American's ears perk up. They're going to change the engine, so everyone back on board!

Everyone will be annoyed that they had to get off and back on, but at least they're leaving now!

... or in a half hour. Maybe. Or whenever they get the new engine on.

Bravo. Perhaps this was a last cry for attention; it certainly attracted the attention of hundreds of people trying to get to or leave Angers, Cholet and Nantes.

srah - Sunday, 17 November 2002 - 6:48 AM
Tags: travel

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