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Entirely disgusting post

Remember, months ago, when I had a disgusting obsession with earwax? Kate and JDay mentioned, in the blahblahs, something about the process of candling. I couldn't imagine how it worked. It made me think of Homer Simpson (was it Homer or some other TV character?) sticking a lighted Q-tip in his ear.

As we were driving up from Virginia today, we stopped for dinner at the Big Boy in Bowling Green, Ohio (hello, Sheila). Near the exit, they had a pile of free newspapers called The Hamster Mat. There isn't much identifying this newspaper, who makes it, or where it comes from, but it does have a fascinating story on candling:

...This natural method of removing wax and fungal deposits [!] using a hollow beeswax and fiber candle dates back to 2500 BC.
[Doesn't it seem ridiculous to stick a wax candle in your ear to get the wax out? Oh well, have to get the fungus out too. Out, damned fungus!]
...The long candle extends through a hole in a disposable aluminum pie pan. The candler lights the wide end and waits till smoke wafts out the tapered end which is then inserted into the ear.
[Wha--? Where does the pie pan come in? I guess it has to catch the nastiness, but I'm having trouble picturing this contraption. And also wha--? There is SMOKE going into your HEAD? Isn't that a bad thing? Won't that make your ear dirty and smoky?]
During the procedure, the ear warms gently and the client hears a sound similar to radio static, punctuated occasionally by a sort of slurping sound as wax is drawn up the tube by the vacuum...

So let me get this straight. First of all, there may be fungus in my ear. Second of all, the way to get it out is to SMOKE it out. And third of all, while the wax is dripping out of my head, it will sound like the aliens from Signs are trying to contact me.

Sounds like fun.

srah - Monday, 16 September 2002 - 2:26 AM
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