srah blah blah

Neuroses

I have a lot of strange neuroses and phobias and things I can't really explain.

In restaurants, I prefer to sit with my back to the wall, facing the entrance. I don't know if it's some kind of Mafiaesque fear that someone's going to come shooting up the place or stab me in the back... but I prefer to be where I can see everyone in the room and no one can sneak up on me. I have my family trained to let me pick my seat first or to be willing to move if I make them. Apparently Alex and his mom have the same sort of thing, which will make eating with them interesting.

You can stand outside any bathroom I am in, but if I am in the half-bath connected to my bedroom, no one is allowed in my room. I don't like having an audience anywhere, but it is simply not going to happen in that particular bathroom.

Just hearing the theme music for "Unsolved Mysteries" has always scared me.

I have always been afraid of the freezer in my basement, ever since I saw something on the news or Unsolved Mysteries or something about a man who killed his wife and put her in the freezer for several years. I think I'm afraid because it's big enough that you could fit a person in it and my overactive imagination takes it from there. Whatever corpse I find in our freezer was probably put there by the robbers, kidnappers, and murderers who live in our basement. My overactive imagination tends to imagine that robbers were about to ransack our house when suddenly we came home, so they ran into the basement and will do god-knows-what if we come downstairs.

Speaking of overactive imagination, I sometimes get very scared driving home at night. When I get into a dark car, I am convinced that someone is already in there and that at some point during my drive home, he will put a knife to my throat and make me drive him somewhere or kidnap me. Once I get home, I'm afraid someone will pop out of the bushes while I'm trying to unlock the door, but that's pretty dumb at this time of the year when there are no leaves on the bushes to hide murderers and robbers.

I don't like knives and I don't like anything pointing towards my eyes. When I almost-fall, I often have visions of the horrible injuries that could have happened if I had actually fallen.

My most famous "thingies" are the "bridge thing" and the "neck thing". I really dislike crossing bridges, as I have a fear of being sucked off the bridge and into the water below. This isn't as bad in, say, Albion, as it is on one like the Mackinac Bridge. What makes the Big Mac worse is that it's grated. I know I can't slip through the little holes, but it still scares me, even when driving or being driven over.

I've talked about the neck thing before, but I can't have anything touching my neck. Necklaces have to be quite long and I can't wear turtlenecks. If I think about it too much, even a v-neck shirt can be too high-necked and I have to put my fingers between my neck and the collar. As I've discussed, this may have something to do with the fact that I was born almost-strangled by the umbilical cord.

What are your unexplainable fears or neuroses?

srah - Wednesday, 6 March 2002 - 12:31 PM
Tags: fears, neuroses

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