Blond James Bond

Apete and Alfie had been planning for months to go see the latest James Bond movie together, leaving my 007-hating self at home. However, I began to warm to the idea of this movie once I heard that so many true Bond fans hated Casino Royale. I was still on the fence, but then as it turned out, srahmom wanted everyone out from under her feet on Wednesday night while she got things ready for Thanksgiving dinner, so the rest of the family went to the movie theater en masse.

Let me tell you, this was the worst James Bond movie ever. It is also the second-best James Bond movie ever, because in the Srah James Bond-Hating Canon of James Bond Films That Are Any Good at All, there are only two films (as opposed to before, when there was only one). I choose not to accept any other films as True James Bond Movies, or any other James Bond actors as True James Bonds. Yes, people may argue over whether Timothy Dalton was better than Roger Moore or whether David Niven counts as a James Bond, but for me, there are only two True James Bonds. So George Lazenby, you now have some company.

I hate James Bond because he is, as I have frequently repeated to my Bond-obsessive sister, a Soulless Sex Robot (and likely chock-full of STDs). So the only James Bonds that appeal to me at all are those who seem to have some kind of romantic (rather than just sexual) connection with the Bond Girl at hand. I've read reviews complaining that this latest Bond movie is too girly and touchy-feely and that James Bond actually has feelings and it's so gross, but for me, a James Bond with some sort of emotional connection to another human being is appealing. Maybe it is because I am such a girl.

So good job, makers of James Bond movies! Let's see if you can make a third.

srah - Monday, 27 November 2006 - 5:50 PM
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Comments (3)

gravatar Greg - November 27, 2006 - 6:56 PM -

Your so-called "diehard Bond fans" must only like the movies and not the books. Craig's portrayal is very true to the Ian Fleming character, if not the movie version. As a fan of both the books and the movies, I liked Casino Royale just fine. And I also love the Lazenby movie, which is also relatively true to the novels.

You should give Brosnan more of a chance--he lets some emotion seep through in the later movies as he gets more comfortable with the role. There's a scene near the end of The World is Not Enough which is just devastating. (Kind of a mediocre flick, though, I have to admit.)

gravatar chrispy - November 28, 2006 - 8:48 AM -

I'm assuming you already know about this:

http://snltranscripts.jt.org/99/99ebond.phtml

gravatar alfie - November 28, 2006 - 8:57 PM -

I liked it, but that probably has to do with the diehard Bond movie and book fanness that is me.

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