You can't handle the truth! Or the tears that come with it!

Nearing the end of my status interview with my supervisor:

Supervisor: Are you happy?
Me: (shrugs) Yeah, it's not bad, now that I have a bathroom again.*
Supervisor: Is this internship everything you'd hoped it would be?
(I think hard about how to respond diplomatically)
Supervisor: Truthfully.
Me: Truthfully... it's everything I expected it to be.
Supervisor: How's that?
Me: Well, I knew coming in that I probably wasn't going to get credit for it and that I wasn't going to be doing exactly what I wanted, but it was something to keep me busy over the summer, so... I'm busy.
Supervisor: Not exactly what you wanted? Isn't this what you're studying?
Me: Well yeah, but I'm studying it. I don't know what I'm doing yet and there's no one to teach me or tell me what to do, so I'm just making it up as I go along.
Supervisor: And you're not getting credit? Wasn't that the whole point of you coming over here?
Me: Well, kind of. I mean, I had realized I wasn't going to be getting credit by the time I came over here, because there are all kinds of requests to be filled out and reports to be done and [T3h B1g Ch33z] has never even taken the first step, even though he brings it up every time I talk to him and even though all the first step consists of is sending an email. So I really don't feel like he's reliable enough that it's ever going to happen, but I'm resigned to not getting credit now. It's okay.
(tears well up; it's not okay)
Supervisor: Well I'll do whatever I can and blah blah blah blah blah...
(a tear rolls down my cheek)
Me: Oh, oops. Man. It's, um, it's just the bathroom. And... it's been a hard week. With... the bathroom and all. And... um, sometimes it's hard. Because there's no separation between our personal and professional lives. And... it's been a hard week. But... uh, I'll make it.
(tries not to blurt out "It's only 35 more days" because that would look like I've been counting)
(meeting wraps up with some more blah blah blah and the supervisor bringing me tissues and promising to do what she can although she doesn't know what she can do)
(I leave the office sniffling and red-faced)

I'm not happy and it's not just the bathroom. I've had little breakdowns before where I just need to have a good cry, but doing so in front of my supervisor in the middle of a status meeting was probably not the best way to go.

Is it the weekend yet? Is it August 25 yet?

–––––
* Somehow my asstard co-workers managed to overbook the abbey so that our bathroom (crappy and awful and smelly and flooded as it was, it was still ours) was taken away and we would have to trek across campus to the other intern residence any time we wanted to take a shower. This situation has since been rectified, by the guest who would have been taking it over complaining and moving into our Bed & Breakfast instead.

srah - Wednesday, 21 July 2004 - 5:31 AM
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Comments (5)

gravatar alfie - July 21, 2004 - 11:11 AM -

I'm sorry you're having a bad time. If it makes you feel better, I miss watching infomercials with you. Mom and Dad give me weird looks when I try to get them to watch them with me. They don't see the humor that we've put into them.

"Hey, look it's the man who lives in the backwoods of Wisconsin and makes knives!"
"Why would you go see some creepy hermit who has hundreds of knives?"

gravatar alfie - July 21, 2004 - 11:16 AM -

That's just asking for trouble. :P

gravatar srah - July 21, 2004 - 11:19 AM -

What is?

gravatar alfie - July 21, 2004 - 11:38 AM -

Going to visit a hermit who surrounds himself with knives!

gravatar srah - July 21, 2004 - 11:42 AM -

True.

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