'Or as the Indians call it, 'maize'. In conclusion, Libya is a land of contrast.'

Dear France,

Popcorn is meant to be salty. Sometimes it is also meant to be buttery and delicious. We are the continent that spawned popcorn, so we should know. Stop your crack-smoking, popcorn-sweetening ways! You are wrong and we are right; get used to it!

Sincerely,

SRAH who got her hopes up when she found out there was, for some reason, a brand-new popcorn vending machine in the abbey

srah - Friday, 9 July 2004 - 5:27 AM
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Comments (25)

gravatar Jez - July 9, 2004 - 6:17 AM -

I'm not sure I understand the title of this post. Does that make me thick? (you are not required to answer this question).

Sugared popcorn is horrible, I'll readily agree.

gravatar srah - July 9, 2004 - 6:21 AM -

Yes, Mr Thicky Black Thicky Adder Thicky. It's from the Simpsons episode where Bart was the Model UN representative for Libya ("Das Bus").

gravatar Jez - July 9, 2004 - 7:59 AM -

Well, I'm thick. I'm as thick as the big print version of the complete works of Charles Dickens. As thick as whale omelette.

gravatar srah - July 9, 2004 - 8:02 AM -

It's just because you have a brain the size of a sultana.

gravatar Jez - July 9, 2004 - 9:29 AM -

Well!

Your brain, Srah, is so minute that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough inside to cover a small water biscuit.

Let battle commence!

gravatar srah - July 9, 2004 - 10:06 AM -

You are young and foolish. And have a peanut for a brain.

gravatar srah - July 9, 2004 - 10:53 AM -

I have to go away for the weekend now. But I shall return... interfrastically.

gravatar Jez - July 9, 2004 - 11:42 AM -

May you turn orange in hue, and may your head fall off at an awkward moment!

But have nice time, anyway.

gravatar srah - July 11, 2004 - 1:26 PM -

I'm indebted to you for those wishes, and I shall, of course, follow them to the letter, the day I get my brain replaced by a cauliflower.

gravatar Jez - July 11, 2004 - 8:08 PM -

Until such a time, you are blessed with a head emptier than a hermit's address book.

Unused quotes are getting harder and harder to find, you know.

gravatar srah - July 12, 2004 - 4:24 AM -

Quotes? You're relying on quotes? No, this is a new thing. It's spontaneous and it's called wit.

gravatar Jez - July 12, 2004 - 6:02 AM -

You fiend! Never have I encountered such corrupt and foul-minded perversity! Have you ever considered a career in the Church?

Anyway, I shall return, and vreak my rewengee!

gravatar srah - July 12, 2004 - 8:54 AM -

I believe that quote was already used last time! Look, do try and have an original thought of your own, Jezzles.

gravatar Jez - July 12, 2004 - 9:12 AM -

Well thank goodness I put on my corset this morning, because I think my sides have split.

OK, make a sentence from these words: face sodding your shut

Choose your next witticism carefully, Fraulein Srah, it may be your last!

gravatar srah - July 12, 2004 - 9:34 AM -

(You stole the corset-quote from me! :( )

Well, I hope you will not invite anyone else to participate in this battle of wits/quotes with us. For where there are others, there are people to fornicate with!

gravatar Jez - July 12, 2004 - 10:03 AM -

Well they can just fornicate off, can't they!

It minds me not that you dress like a mad parrot and talk like a plate of beans negotiating their way out of a cow's digestive system. It is no skin off my rosy nose that there are bits of lemon peel floating down the Thames that would make better Regents than you. The fact is you are Regent, appointed by God, and I shall stick by you forever, though infirmity lay me waste and ill health curse my every waking moment.

*falls into chair dead*

gravatar srah - July 12, 2004 - 10:32 AM -

I had no idea I was Regent. Lucky me! It's probably because my nose is so pretty. In fact, my nosy is tiny, and so wee, that I sometimes think the pixies gave it to me!

gravatar alfie - July 12, 2004 - 11:10 AM -

Both the "face sodding your shut" (used by Jez) and the perversity (used by me) one were used last time. If either of you needs a reference, that post appears in Reader's Choice.

gravatar srah - July 12, 2004 - 11:40 AM -

Research is so haaaaaaaaaaaaaard!

gravatar Jez - July 12, 2004 - 11:51 AM -

And I thought you were bedridden from the nose down!

gravatar srah - July 12, 2004 - 12:46 PM -

I might as well be! I'm a delicate tiny thing, weak and silly and like a little fluffy rabbit.

gravatar Jez - July 12, 2004 - 1:20 PM -

Woof woof!

gravatar srah - July 12, 2004 - 1:46 PM -

"Woof" at me again and you're dead! As dead as that squirrel!

*BANG!*
*eep!*

gravatar Jez - July 12, 2004 - 2:47 PM -

Tally-ho, my fine saucy young trollop!

*runs for cover*

gravatar srah - July 12, 2004 - 5:09 PM -

I have heard that you have the manners of a boy cow's dingle dangle.

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