Previous entry: « Still waiting... |
Next entry: Anyone? Bueller? » |
Ca manque quelque chose
This school is spotless and beautiful - full of flowing water and glass and natural light. What it is lacking, however, is places to hide.
I had a bit of a breakdown today. I usually want to cry around 10am on Thursdays, but I suck it up and continue with the day, which usually gets better from there. Usually.
Handily, no one told me that Veronique is absent today until I got to the classroom door. There, one of my students told me. When my students tell me that the teacher is "missing", I don't know whether to believe them or not. Apparently they had been told that I would conduct class all by myself. So I gave it a try.
What finally caused my breakdown was not that the students were particularly difficult. I've seen worse. It wasn't just when one of my students started picking on my French-spelling skills as though he could do better in English. It wasn't just that the roleplays that had worked so well with the level below them were too difficult. It wasn't just the fact that I finally gave up and let them out early because I could see we were getting nowhere.
It was the frustration that I hadn't been prepared for the situation and that no one had told me. So I went to see the vice-principal and asked her to notify me in the future if Veronique was going to be absent, voice cracking all the while. I managed to get up the stairs to the teachers' area and into the teachers' restroom before the waterworks started.
Srah? Deal with a frustrating situation by bursting into tears? Quelle surprise!
I managed to calm myself down a bit, and realized I shouldn't be taking up the staff bathroom, so I took some deep breaths and left, but immediately went to one of the student bathrooms instead, to splash water on my face. I calmed down considerably, but on the way back to the teachers' area I ran into Danile, who asked me what was wrong. Of course, in explaining it, I got all upset again, but she was happy to give me some time out to collect myself before teaching her class.
So then I had another hourful of monsters who weren't making any effort, but I think I managed to turn my frustration into the air of disgusted superiority typical of French teachers, rather than being the weak little American assistant who bursts out in tears when you don't know what a turkey is.
srah - Thursday, 28 November 2002 - 6:26 AM
Tags: assistantship
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.srah.net/mt421/mt-pings.cgi/1587
