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The paranoid ramblings of a druggie

I woke up this morning and felt as though someone had removed my eyeballs during the night, gouging them out and enlarging the sockets. They had then stuffed my sinuses and brain cavity with cotton, set it on fire and replaced the eyeballs, putting them in the wrong sockets and clumsily caulking them into place. I forced myself to get out of bed, but my one and only desire was to fall head-first on the carpet, crumple into a ball and moan about the evil that had been done to my head.

I tried to convince myself to get up off the floor and get ready for work, but I was not functioning enough to do so. I called into work and said I was Not Well and would be late. I wanted to take some medicine, but even the thought of washing down pills with something liquid made me nauseous. So I went back to bed, knowing that I couldn't breathe well enough to fall asleep but that I couldn't function well enough to do anything other than sit upright in the dark. Although I can't usually fall asleep sitting up and I expected my head-pains to keep me awake, I did fall asleep for another hour or so. When I woke up again, I was better enough that I could eat and drink and take Day-Quil Sinus. The Day-Quil kicked in at exactly 9:28am. I know this because all of a sudden instead of being lethargic and pained, I was aware of my surroundings and I needed to get up and move and do things. The sinus presure relief had been gradual, but I could feel the caffeine kicking in. I jumped up and took a shower, got dressed and drove to campus, where unfortunately the only parking space I could find is probably about equidistant between my apartment and work. I might as well have walked the whole way.

Anyway, here I am, slightly high on caffeinated cold medicine, to the point where I fluctuate every few minutes between havingtodoeverythingsofastrightnowrightnowrightnowaremyhandsshaking to a feeling of I'm flooooooating. I am so graceful! No one has ever prepared a cup of tea as gracefully as I am doing!.

Am I acting normal? Am I acting normal? Can anyone tell that I'm high? I'm cold. No wait, everything is perfect. This is the best ever. Am I acting normal?

srah - Wednesday, 25 January 2006 - 12:44 PM
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Comments (6)

gravatar alfie - January 25, 2006 - 12:53 PM -

You ARE high.

gravatar srah - January 25, 2006 - 12:56 PM -

I'm exaggerating a leeeeeeeeeeeeeettle bit.

gravatar Fraulein N - January 25, 2006 - 2:17 PM -

I would say "feel better soon," but it sounds like you're already feelin' pretty groovy.

gravatar katie - January 25, 2006 - 7:41 PM -

Well, it isn't normal normal, but it's normal for you.

gravatar bob - January 26, 2006 - 11:21 AM -

That is probably one of the most gruesome opening paragraphs I've ever read. Congratulations!

gravatar Allison - January 26, 2006 - 3:26 PM -

And here I was going to ask if you wanted to do something this weekend. But now I'm afraid of catching your wrist flu-cum-fire-brained-caulked-in-eye flu. The good news is that now that you've done Day-Quil, the flood gates are open!

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