La manque

I feel a bit alone. There is no one I can share it with; there is no one who knows exactly how I'm feeling.

When I left Grenoble, I knew exactly where to find my host family, who were the only people I really knew in France. I knew that we would keep in touch, and I was sure that I would see them again and that they wouldn't forget me.

I have no such guarantees for Vichy, so my heart is broken - 200 times over. I want to cry when I hear about the final exam results. I'm so happy for and proud of them, and I miss them so much. When I get an email from one of my students, it makes me so happy I want to cry. There were so many students who made me miserable, but they're all forgotten, and what I feel now is an overwhelming sadness to knwo that I might never know whether Virginie is going to continue for her maîtrise, where Philippe is going to work, or how Jean-Marie's BTS is going. I didn't get to share in the celebrations when the results were announced, and I will slowly lose touch with the handful of students who have emailed me since school ended.

Teaching is definitely not the career path for me. It hurts too much.

srah - Thursday, 10 July 2003 - 3:15 PM

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Comments (2)

gravatar katie - July 10, 2003 - 8:24 PM -

I am sorry, Srah. I wish I could make you feel better. But Dracula is calling me to do his bidding...

I solved this problem early in my life. I have now trained myself to instantly lose touch with everyone and to not care. In fact, I find myself slightly annoyed when someone I was out of touch with finds me. Why? Because I have to face my guilt for not staying in touch.

Of course, you know I'm making that up. Or am I? The world may never know.

gravatar Cheryl - July 11, 2003 - 12:12 PM -

It just shows that you were a good teacher to those kids because you actually took an interest in them.

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